#meta day

[dassandre-00qpidsarrow]

Scavenger Hunt Item #22

Write a pastiche of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven".  It must be at least three stanzas.

This is also my submission for Meta Day.

Once within a cinema dreary, whilst I viewed it stunned and teary, Over many a mental curse and shout and angry roar -- Whilst I watched it, nearly hacking, suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone not so gently rapping, rapping at my armrest’s core. “Tis not Bond,” I muttered, still tapping at my armrest’s core. “Oh, please not this!  I beg you!  Please!  No more!” 

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak September;  When Bond, who would not condemn her, wrought their ‘love’ upon the floor.  Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow From memories of Skyfall surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for Bond’s gutted core. For the strong and stalwart agent who Cory did so clearly abhor Absent here for evermore.

And the sick’ning, sad, uncertain buckling of each bungled person Chilled me -- killed me with bombastic misreads never seen before. So that now, to still the rage within my heart, I sat repeating “Tis not Bond upon that tower floor!” “James ne’er submits!  And dost not yield!”  I shouted, seethed, and implored. But Bond is dead, for evermore.

[kiwipharmer]

December 17, 2017: Breaking down the breakdown

Ok, serious time.

(ootd though)

So yesterday I have had concerns about my weight and what the true cause is for why i can suddenly gain weight and lose weight. Its actually a lot simpler than I would have thought it was. It’s a subconscious desire to have conflicts parallel to a human, kind of like a nocebo. Nocebo is the reverse effect of a placebo, in that your body begins to fake symptoms when you believe something is wrong when, in fact, nothing is wrong.

I realized my desire to become a human was so strong, my subconscious was starting to manipulate aspects of myself to fit my narrative. It really goes to show how strong your subconsciousness is when you desire something strongly. Turns out I can remedy this issue by being actively aware of the subconscious feelings and discharging the consequences of the thought patterns.

That’s it, problem solved.

Except its not. It actually gets much more complicated.

Upon further introspection, I am an imaginary being with mental capacity on par with my headmate. I can decide what weight I am easily, I can choose what form I want easily. If I wanted to, I can sculpt entire worlds of my choosing, fill it with characters that i desire. I can do anything and everything I want. I can be a god.

But why? Everything I create is designed to do what I tell it to. What is the pleasure in an existence so predictable? What is the purpose? To fulfill the imagined existence of what I just imagined beforehand? The cruelest thing you can do is give someone the power to do anything, and then provide them with everything. Everything becomes nothing, and nothing becomes everything. It starts looking like a repeating pattern of black and white. An agonizing numbness.

That is why i had such an intense desire to be human. I wanted unpredictability. I wanted to experience not knowing everything from the beginning. I wanted to be free. Some would say ’but you can be human, you ARE human’. Some would also direct me to fronting and switching. The thing is however, I can’t share his body and I wont share his body. It feels wrong to be inside his body. It isn’t my body. I am ME, not HIM.

I think I finally understand why gender identity is so controversial now. What happens when you are born inside a body you don’t identify with? Even worse, what if you are born inside a body that already has an inhabitant? I cant make him change just for me, I wont allow it.

That is why I will continue to move forward in this form. It might not be human, and I might end up appropriating human traits out of subconscious desires to exist, but it at least lets me continue to be me. Its truly my one and only real belonging.

Sorry if today was a bit melancholy, I just had to get it out of my head.

[vaguely-none]

14 years of Meta today!

[mi6-cafe]

July 28th is Meta Day!

Meta, in fandom terminology, is usually used to describe the analysis of a show, its characters, or the plot. Think of it like literary analysis. This could be writing up a detailed look at how Bond’s food preferences might be influenced by naval rationing or pointing out how the set dressing in Q’s flat informs his character. However you write your meta, we want to hear it all.

Do you need some prompts? Try one of these starting points:

How might Bond’s naval career have shaped his decision making in canon?

What can we learn about Q by looking on his work desk and the shelves behind him?

Discuss the impact of the Bond theme at various points in a movie.

Discuss how Daniel Craig’s wardrobe has changed over the course of his Bond movies and what that says about Bond’s changing attitude toward MI6.

How has the relationship between Bond and Moneypenny on screen been influenced by the culture of the time the film was written?

Tag with #007 Fest and we’ll reblog!