007 Fest - Surviving the A.N.E.M.O.N.E. Games Pt 1
Q Branch minions Rin Rigg, Subterranian, Kitten Lee and Rowan Marris, Sr. Venue Coordinator and official Q Branch adoptee, are surviving A.N.E.M.O.N.E. Games through commiseration, snark and tomfoolery, made possible by our misuse of the MI6 Intranet Messaging system. This is our story.
RIN: Hey mates, anyone know if there is a dress code for this madness? I am having traumatic flashbacks to that year they let the double-os organise lawn tractor races, and they made us wear tactical khakis and those neon animal print jerseys "for safety." I asked Q, but he just mumbled something about moving up his scheduled annual psychotic break.
RIN: Is there any memo about what to wear? Oh hell, they aren't going to make us wear, like, Hawaiian shirts with anemones on them or something???
K.Lee: While participation may be mandatory, so long as whatever you're wearing abides by the official dress code you can't get in trouble for it. At least, not with HR. You shouldn't mind the double-ohs so much; they're trained assassins, yes, but unless they catch you committing treason the trouble they'd get in for doing anything to us wouldn't be worth the trouble.
K.Lee: Just treat them like small children or spoiled dogs. They seem to find it amusing. (Except for 004 and 008; they're the good ones. Treat them like adults.)
xX_Subterranian_Xx: I would make sure you have closed toes shoes though. There's no telling what craziness will happen and things get dropped with greater frequency when agents are involved.
K.Lee: Unfortunately, that's a very good point. Better dress for safety and comfort. I'm going to break out my hiking wear. Sad to say the probability of wanting to make a run for it at some point is not zero.
Rowan Marris: I donāt know about you all. I will wear my tiger stripes.
K.Lee: Not tiger /shark/ stripes, Rowan?
K.Lee: Though really, why the persistence of the marine life theme? M's not a Navy man or an avid sailing enthusiast, so far as I know.
RIN: Oh, not Navy, but obsessed with scuba diving. Which I think maybe has more to do with the joys of sensory deprivation. I mean, it is one of the less concerning coping mechanisms of our illustrious agency.
RIN: The bad name is totally the residual effects of serving in the Army though. Too many MREs in the field leads to an addiction to weird word salads made of slang and acronyms. I mean.
K.Lee: Another Needless Endeavor at Mystifying Our Numerous Employees?
RIN: M is full of Abundantly Nebulous Expectations for Making Obligatory Networking Exciting.
RIN: I JOKINGLY told 007 he owed me this:
RIN: And he drops THIS on my desk, whichā¦ I don't even know the rules for acceptance of gifts, but uh, this is commercially available for sale so I canā¦ keep it? Right?
RIN: Like, I think it is hideous, and also, I love it?
RIN: Rowan, watch out, 007 mentioned that the double-0s had chipped in on someā¦ prizes? For winners of different team building events? I don't evenā¦ I don't know.
Rowan Marris: prizes? Well surprises are fine, I suppose, unless itās the stack of drywalls?
Rowan Marris: anyway I decided on my dress code
Rowan Marris: Here, check this out.
RIN: Rowan. ROWAN. Please. Please tell me you have enough balloons to share.
Rowan Marris: sure! Since they have a tendency to go boom (especially if one smokes after putting it on, as I discovered) I have enough spares to fill the conference floor at the very least. It would look likeā¦ anemone jungle. Hmmmm
RIN: Wait, they go boom if you smoke around them? Do NOT tell 006 that, I am begging you.
xX_Subterranian_Xx: You should check the R&D archives, I think there's still a few of the little motorizes balloon fish. I'd happily remotely control one to swim around you all day.
RIN: OH, I want to see the balloon fish schematics! Q revoked my access to the R&D files because I sent him the files for the submarine car after Bond parked the DB10 in the Tiberā¦
xX_Subterranian_Xx: You can probably find the basics online. The base model are available to the public. We just increased the range of the controller and made the balloon smaller.
xX_Subterranian_Xx: fwiw, I was thinking of dying my hair a nice blue fade.
xX_Subterranian_Xx: Maybe I'll wear some fish clips to get in the spirit. I was thinking more cutesy early 00s fashion style, but I do love this one:
K.Lee: I don't suppose I could plead ignorance and just wear an anemone (flower) on my lapel.
K.Lee: I've been attempting to duck out on the pretense of running errands for Q Branch but so far the Quartermaster's not picked up on any of my hints. If I find out he's planning to steal my ideas so that he himself can play truant I shall be having words with that young man.
RIN: Oh, no, Q is so stressed that his limited social cue reading ability is gone. You are going to have to be more direct, orā¦ more devious. Like, point out his stash of biscuits is empty and that Tesco is stocking Tim Tams again.
K.Lee: Excellent advice, thank you. I can claim a resurgence of my carpal tunnel syndrome which will require me to recruit an assistant to help me carry said Tim Tams, if anyone else is looking to escape the next teambuilding event.
THIS CHAT FULFILLS THE FOLLOWING SCAVENGER HUNT PROMPTS:
Scavenger Hunt No.52: A.N.E.M.O.N.E. stands for "Another Novel Experience Magnifying Our Notorious Employees." Choose a character (or your Fest Character) and redo the acronym // Scavenger Hunt No.62: The A.N.E.M.O.N.E. Games have begun, but your character isn't sure what the day is going to demand. What do they wear to work on Day One? // Scavenger Hunt No.64: Your character takes the "anemone" thing a little too literally (or sees a colleague doing so). How do they work sea anemones into their week's participation in the games or their workday?
@kitten-kin @tales-of-whales @spiritofcamelot
