#metaposting

[semiplural]

Made some new badges (with alternates) for this blog's pinned post. These are free to use for those who want them. Go wild.

[kithmet]

i think there’s a part of buck—a part that exists very, very deep in his subconscious—that has feared being accused of being in love with eddie from the moment he realized he liked men. like, if we circle back to 7x05, eddie is the only person buck is scared of coming out to. he does it fine with everyone else, on accident, brushing off the importance of it. but with eddie we had a whole episode avoiding it. his relationship with eddie is the only one that could be fundamentally impacted by that change. a part of buck was maybe scared, irrationally, that eddie might think it now means he is in love with him.

so when tommy brings it up in 8x11, this thing that has been eating away at buck for almost a year at this point, he goads tommy into saying it. it’s obvious tommy was referring to eddie but buck wanted him to voice it, he wanted someone, anyone to say it aloud. he wanted to hear those fears said to him for the first time, maybe because in a way it almost validates this crazy part of him that he repressed down. honestly, i think buck is relieved someone finally said it so he could start arguing his case.

the problem is, when he finally starts speaking the arguments he’d prepared—“eddie’s straight”, “this isn’t even really his house”, “it just isn’t like that”—he realizes that, actually, no one actually believes him. that’s what pisses him off the most, what sent him over the edge with tommy. then the, “everyone wants me to be hopelessly pining for my straight best friend,” when absolutely no one said that! those are his own fears that have manifested. and what’s even worse than all this is—it might even be true. but i think buck will avoid that until something snaps.

[nohoperadio]

I've been actively posting on tumblr for about two years as of recently. Does it feel like it's been more, or less than that? Perhaps not everything has to feel like a surprisingly different amount of time than what it was.

I like some of you a lot. Like the real kind of liking people where I think of you fondly at random times and fret about your life struggles and worry whether you hate me for dumb reasons. I was very lucky that some good and interesting and cool people decided to be mutuals with me basically at the very beginning when there was frankly no real reason to be following me at all.

I still feel like I'm not fully making the most of the cool tumblr people, like I'm missing some trick to more frequently and/or more deeply sparking some kind of closeness between us, which has happened multiple times but only really when the other person does all the hard/risky part up front first. This echoes patterns in my irl life, gaps in my skillset (my skillset is mostly gaps to be fair). Weirdly I feel like it got harder to establish substantial connections with people after I started getting Quite A Lot of followers, for whatever reason. Which isn't to say I haven't kept acquiring people I like a lot from time to time, even up to literally just last month.

Posting is a fun little game. I like it when I make a silly joke and lots of people agree that it's funny because I'm very insecure and desperate for attention. It's fun sometimes to pretend to be a person with opinions and ideas about stuff, it's fun sometimes to make so-called diaristic posts and pretend to have a life. I've had mixed success with publicly wallowing in my miseries and horrors, sometimes it's clarifying, sometimes it's cathartic, sometimes it makes me feel worse and more alone. But on the whole I don't regret that stuff. It's nice also that being transgender is boring on here instead of interesting.

Anyway in conclusion posting on tumblr is pretty alright imo, consider giving it a try if you haven't already.

[not-too-many-eyes]

I swear I saw a post touching on this a bit ago, but it was weeks ago so Idk where it is now- But Semmelweis is objectively really funny, because she's larping a classic vampire for no good reason AFTER having so much internal (in multiple ways) conflict. Like- no one is telling her to go "Our blood will burn" we know for a fact that vamperism didn't give her the primal need to be gothic, she's doing that of her own accord.

But it also circles around to being really cute cause Semmelweis is used to being the Most Polite Most Respectable Most "I will never express my true emotions ever and keep my distance from everyone so that I may only exist as a shadow in a mirror and also lose my sense of self in the process" as a defense mechanism and now she's out here purposefully fucking with Vertin by mentioning she finds it "more comfortable drinking blood when you and I are alone…"

I love how we know Bella plays into this as well because they LARP VAMPERISM DIFFERENTLY:

Like, that's so funny. I hope they enjoy being edgy teens. I hope while everyone is having angst and crying Semmelweis is writing self insert yuri fanfic.

[chilfucked]

You guys ever think about how terrifying and violating this scene must have been for Chil? (analysis under cut)

I want you to put yourself in Chil’s shoes for a moment. You’re at minimum a head smaller than everyone in your party. The only combat skills you have are long range and mostly support, plus you don’t even have your gear right now. You’re balls deep in the dungeon. You’re starving. You just had a near death experience when your party did NOT have the means to revive you (nothing to replace calories. assuming the mimic beat you). And now the people you’re essentially stuck with are ganging up on you.

I get that this is played as a gag but. This is like. Real fear in his eyes. He’s actually scared. TERRIFIED. And rightfully so.

Here you have:

Senshi: The guy you just met who clearly doesn’t respect you or you autonomy not only suggesting to use your tools against your will, but he’s actively physically restraining you. Something that is known to be very demeaning for his entire race and especially to him.

Marcille: The girl you only met a couple of adventures ago who also kind of doesn’t respect you, like, at ALL who’s just sitting there watching.

And Laios: The ONE GUY HERE that even remotely respects you that you’ve just BARLEY started trusting, who is now betraying that trust by being the one to take your belongings and use them against your will. In front of you. After you told him to stop.

Like. Don’t get me wrong, the cutaway gag to this was funny, but that doesn’t change the actual disdain he’s feeling here. This is someone realizing he’s stuck with people he cannot trust in a situation far too dangerous for him to deal with on his own. There’s no respect for him. His autonomy. His belongings. Nothing. None of what he believed earlier is present. I don’t know if this was a contract breach or not, but it was a personal one for sure. I can only begin to imagine what’s running through his head right now, and how powerless he feels here to the mistreatment by people he doesn’t know and or JUST started warming up to.

Sure, he has a moment to justify it to himself here. Everyone’s tired. Hungry. They didn’t mean any harm by it, and in the end it was better for everyone, right? (Ignoring the fact that they could’ve de-shelled the mimic using Senshi’s wok but that’s neither here nor there I guess.) But deep down he knows that doesn’t really make it right. That doesn’t change the fact it wasn’t handled properly. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s not being respected at all in this decision. Not even being taken into account other than to be removed from the vote entirely.

And, at the end of it, you’re still being demeaned. Still being treated like a child who shouldn’t get a say. Your justified anger just being used against you to show how immature you’re being. The louder you yell to be taken seriously, the less seriously you’re taken.

Sure, everything works out in the end. He’s made some of the best friends he’ll ever have in his whole life, but here? Now? Chilchuck is alone. Isolated from anyone he could go to. Trapped, used, disregarded, and more closed off than he’s been in a very long time. Because he was actually starting to trust the people around him again. And for what? It just happened again.

[metastablephysicist]

taught myself how to crochet last week with a chopstick and strips of plastic shopping bag. three insights: i see why a hook is useful for crocheting, i had no idea that crocheting something required so much material (i have depleted a store of plastic bags that was years in the making & then some), and goodness gracious does the crocheted plastic texture feel horrible

anyways behold the bag bag bag (bag for holding bags made out of bags):

[whollyfantasy]

Hey do you ever start shipping a ship mainly just out of a "hee hee hoo hoo 👀👀 wink wink sexy kinky dynamic" and then actually begin getting so invested when they start doing the sweetest things ever like saying "Hes not a rat. Hes not a rat." in their own voice almost breaking cover because they have true deep feelings of care about the other person that is hard to hide, even in a deeply dangerous situation that they know is important to get right. And you genuinely start getting so emotional about their relationship and the way they feel about each other.

Or is that just me

[kyu-jukyu]

Ryou and Malik were in the same place when everything happened, most likely at the same time. angstshipping childhood friends send post