like i think the thing is like... with my characters n the way i write them or write in general is like... i don't write horror, then add tragedy, and sprinkle in like some eroticism from time to time like. they aren't like... separate sliders im adjusting like. all of them r always present in everything i write and in every character and eroticism takes the forefront a lot of the time simply bc like... they're almost all monsters/creature features that experience intimacy and longing on an extreme level due to the like fact that they are monsters.
like that's the point when it comes to dynamics with my characters like, even with each other. intimacy pushed back like what's normal or comfortable (which is like, to me, what horror and tragedy and eroticism are all like expressions of if tht makes sense?). like my characters exist in a constant state of vulnerability and intensity that is erotic whether they mean 2 or not. they all exist in this space of like, overwhelming closeness. they're monsters. so they devour and they haunt and they're creepy and they linger and they're too much and too intimate and everything they say or do or act is meant to feel too like. irreversible. 2 be desired by something that could unmake you and is so separate and different than you, you know what i mean. and 2 desire them back.
and none of them know how to like. be close or care for someone lightly. care is consuming and attention is irreversible and overwhelming and devotion is always so heavy. and bc of that like, even platonic dynamics (even with each other... looks at mikey and solveig) end up feeling like erotic too (and this gang is what im nervous abt leaning into i dont wanna freak out the platonic dynamics LMAOO) and sometimes have the same motifs like. look at solveig, who has the "cannibalism and consumption as love and desire" motif and that's presented sexually with solveig all the time whenever it's present. and then there's winnie, who's cannibalism is usually a motif of like "cannibalism as using and discarding something (abusers btw) that is useless otherwise" but then she also ate sol's twin's hand as an act of love and protection for solveig, which is platonic, but it's still cannibalism as devotion and love presented with the same intensity and reads as erotic even though there's no sexual feelings between winnie or solveig like... do you get what i'm saying.
but even with others, platonically, the way they stand too close or stare or remembering something about the other carries such a deep weight. so no matter what kind of relationship or connection (romantic or platonic or something else) it's gonna inherent a level of intensity and eroticism that should be out of place and prob feels out of place if the other person isn't like. the level of eldritch creature feature my characters are. but it feels right and natural to my own characters n they don't doubt it or question it or whatever at all.
idk. is this thing on. does any of this make sense.














