20 Headlines for your Spring Weekend
Go Rams!
1. Fordham Student regrets wishing for rapper to perform at spring weekend as her third genie wish
2. Faculty Senate gives CAB a vote of no confidence
3. Entire community of adjunct professors surrender the rest of their paychecks to buy a better act
4. St. Ignatius descends from heaven and gives Fordham personal permission to hire a real rapper, even one who uses bad words
5. Timeflies: "We Don't Want To Do This Either But Our Curse Specifically Stipulates That Our Immortality Only Lasts As Long As We Continually Disappoint Young Adults"
6. Timeflies when you're waiting for the cyanide gas to shut down your body
7.Students angry about a concert they won't even remember
8.Father McShane Reportedly Throws Temper Tantrum that Nobody Wants to See his Favorite Band
9.Fordham female population forced to suppress fangirling to join mass angry mob
10.Fordham Students Irate Over Spring Weekend Performers While Indifferent to the Fact that Kim Russell Still Works Here
11. Fordham's Recent Mulching/Lawncare Package Came with a Free Timeflies Performance So Here We All Are
12. CAB, thinking they were booking time flies, accidentally books two youth pastors stuck in an airport.
13. Opinion: You Really Didn't See This Coming?
14. Lone Student in Library Pissed She'll Be Distracted by SupBar Band on Spring weekend
15. U2 to Fordham: Please Can we Play Again?!
16. CAB: Barry Manilow? Would that work?
17. Correction, Moonlight to perform for spring weekend.
18. Albanian Mob Reportedly Owed TimeFlies a Favor, MetroStation Found in the Hudson Wearing Cement Shoes
19. T-Pain Laughs From His Throne of Pussy, Drinks Deeply from Hennessy Goblet
20. FUEMS Spokesperson: "We're fucking terrified"