Based on a recent display of what appeared to be some sort of pathetic, albeit humorous mating call, I’ve come to the realization that some of you are in desperate need of training, if we’re hoping to not make complete asses out of ourselves at Sectionals. I have personally e-mailed those of you who are required to attend my mandatory practices, unless you’d like to be cut from the team. If you haven’t received a message from me, congratulations, you happen to at least be mediocre enough to pass for having some semblance of talent at this current time, though if you’d like to put your best foot forward and attended these lessons anyway, feel free to let me know.
Currently, I don’t have the time to coach these extra classes, but I have hired Dakota Stanley to take my place. He will be taking attendance, so don’t even think about trying to skip out on them. I’m not going to lose because of some stupid policy that allows untalented morons onto our team. Word of advice? If you want to impress a girl, buy her flowers, don’t join my team and try to fuck us over.