This is a Post About Friends and Clutter
I’ve been working on getting the right returns from my friendships lately. It’s difficult to put in a lot of effort in one to not get anything back. I left a group chat full of a bunch of my old hometown friends and didn’t seem to get much response from it so it seems like I should cut my losses or reevaluate how I’m relating to everyone from my past and what I want to bring into my future. I need to take it into my own hands whether I’m getting what I want emotionally, and socially.
I would argue that we are the elements that we consume in our friendships. If we seek to maintain friendships that leave us with absence, can we expect them to make us whole? If we accept emotional absence, can we expect an outlet for our emotions? If communication is absent, can we expect ourselves to communicate our needs?
I suppose this works into how I felt last week as my interest in emotional relics has been keeping me from moving forward into my future. I liken it to my moving experience. I couldn’t bring everything I wanted for myself at once so I left a multitude behind so I could return to it. I did for many items but there are still a handful of objects left in my parents house. They aren’t useful to me, they were novelty items I used to define myself in outward terms. I don’t need a book that I can point out to people and say that I’ve read because that is not a facet I want of myself. Likewise, I don’t need a friend I can point to and only say “He’s really good at drinking beers.
P. S. On a fun note from therapy, when I told Jamie I wasn’t linguistically intelligent she said she couldn’t tell. Apparently, my habit for using comparisons to describe things works out really well and I’m not really feeling all of these indescribable things. I just require a moment of clarity to assess them.
