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Today's Document
DEAR READER
almost home
RMH
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@severalspeciesofdogs
In the past months I've been keeping track of what small changes I'd like to make or correct, like fixing my posture, and what I've noticed is that once that change is made, you don't get to reap the tangible benefits of a physical accomplishment. I just have better posture and don't remember what it was like having worse posture and can't mark down a "May 20, 2020: Posture is corrected."
Another example I want to give for the sake of giving one is working on my handwriting. At what point do/did I stop focusing on changing what my a's and i's look like? Would it have even been worth my time to devise some sort of quantity of mistakes, as much as I would have enjoyed doing so?
Its been a conflict for me: I enjoy my progress being so specifically quantified, but something changing so gradually, immeasurable by my own abilities, isn't something I can keep reasonably on a scoreboard or a notepad. I suppose the lesson here could be that progress can sometimes be made for the sake of progress with out some great reward.
Would I ever have improved beyond my own personal idea for adequacy? I struggle with the idea I cannot communicate my thoughts to people but several times (on this website, by my therapist, by a recent job offer), I was told its a strong suit of mine. Will I just grow better at communicating? Can I do that? Is self improvement a self-sustaining carrot-and-stick I've created for myself?
in order to lead a happy life im gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit
not to be dramatic but this post genuinely made me consider my priorities in life and the choices i need to make for my own wellbeing
*several hours after seeing my pierced nipples*
haHA ha ha HA HA
I don't think it's a coincidence that the nu-atheist movement slowly turned in to the incel-blackpill-4chan fascism we're dealing with now. A lack of religious belief doesn't in any way make someone a bad person and we should be criticizing organized religion and all the harm it's done. But the cynical dudebro atheist culture had a distinct ideology - it wasn't about science so much as using the concept of science as validation for a bitter, joyless view of the world.
I remember when people in that scene loved to talk about how no one's pets actually loved them, and people who deluded themselves into thinking their dog wasn't just using them for food were idiots. That's just science, are you triggered snowflake? But in reality, actual science has shown that your dog does have a positive emotional connection to you, one that goes beyond seeing you as a provider of necesities. So why would these self-proclaimed logical, rational men ignore the actual science in this case? Because they have been raised in a culture that rewards cruelty and dominance. Genuine scientific thinking involves abandoning your preconceived notions and coming at a subject with an open mind, but they never did that. They just looked for validation for what they already believed - everyone is inherently cruel and selfish, nothing has any meaning, we come into a heartless world for no reason, fuck kill and die and nothing matters.
This deliberate rejection and mockery of any kind of sentimentality, spirituality or connection with the land and other living beings is unhealthy. It's settler-colonial manhood taken to it's logical end point, an angry refusal to genuinely feel anything, trust anyone or make yourself vulnerable in any way. It's the mentality that human beings are all enemies who gain from each other's suffering. It isn't actually based in logic or reason, just a long oppressive ideological history, and it really isn't surprising that it became violent as fast as it did.
As an addendum (but not to take away from the far better point of this post) there is a lot of parallels in Atheist subclutures to that of Alt-Right. Atheists are poor at forming larger social groups and as such have an aimless, individualistic view that leads to similar results as alt-right groups that lack leadership. Theres no goal, and thus no point.
happy christmas to my favourite story of all time
guillermo del toro could write cosmic horror but lovecraft could never write the shape of water
The difference between the Shape of Water and Shadow Over Innsmouth is that one was written by a racist and the other isn't.
#Del Toro sees monsters as people#Lovecraft saw people as monsters#His racism affects how fictional monsters and concepts are perceived in his fiction#The unknown is abhorrent and harmful#Rather than something that we see ourselves in#Love is recognition
how can you keep this in the tags??
Anti-Thatcher graffiti seen around the UK shortly after her death on the 8th of April 2013
what a bunch of misogynists
[margaret-thatcher-girl-power.png]
if you ever dont understand what im talking about please dont make me explain myself we both deserve better than to have to go through that
I know for a fact that my parents love me. If they didn't, why did they...
• Belittle me for trying to share my interests with them.
• Punish me when I was upset about being insulted/threatened by my brother.
• Laugh at me when I was crying over these stress of getting into college.
• Shout at me that I'm an idiot for suggesting one way to pack things for a vacation.
• Never defuse a situation with my brother where I was clearly upset.
• Call me arrogant when I tried to understand why people didn't understand things as well as I did.
I think Blue Monday is just quietly playing in the back of my mind at all times.
Same but its Bizarre Love Triangle
“To Go! To Run!”
After listening to Ocean Song by Daughters almost every day for a year straight, I find it to the benefit of the song that the narrative will continue without the entire instrumental phrase being completed. In my head, I’ve been comparing it to story pieces by Schubert (of which I only know of Erlkönig and of which I have been incorrectly calling a Schubertiade), here, the characters being the Narrator, Paul’s Anxieties, and Paul’s Thoughts. You don’t hear the chord progression until Paul exits his car and when Paul runs through his neighborhood, the narrative continues before the progression has a chance to repeat even once, like an interruption of quiet clarity for intrusive and terrifying thought.
Impending sense of anxiety makes for good storytelling and the instrumentation captures the sense of endlessly drowning in it excellently.
House Music? Not in my Places of Residence!
I would like for more dance music to revisit the idea of 12” remix singles in the vein of New Order. I would love six to ten minutes of variations to a familiar song backed by a dance beat that would allow me to dance to it and listen to casually. I’m not a fan of the half-hour long house track repeating the same measure for the duration of the song. This isn’t to be a boomer and knock people who enjoy House Music; I just get bored easily and need more to keep me engaged.
So I realized about a day later that I actually just want New Order to release more acid house albums.
House Music? Not in my Places of Residence!
I would like for more dance music to revisit the idea of 12” remix singles in the vein of New Order. I would love six to ten minutes of variations to a familiar song backed by a dance beat that would allow me to dance to it and listen to casually. I’m not a fan of the half-hour long house track repeating the same measure for the duration of the song. This isn’t to be a boomer and knock people who enjoy House Music; I just get bored easily and need more to keep me engaged.
Help; but Only as You are Told To
I disagree with the notion of talking to close friends and family about your struggles with mental health. If your personal experience isn’t the status quo of your environment, then you can’t expect a valid solution to appear. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions and people often get frustrated because it seems like the recipient of advice is making exceptions in order to avoid help. The fact of the matter is that as you get closer to the reality of a situation, the solution to issues need to become more complex. A failed romance could just be a trigger for problems with emotional distance to surface. Talking about problems does nothing if the problems can’t be analyzed, as they usually can’t in cases of anxiety and panic.
As is my observation, once cutting became known to their family, most of my friends suddenly got guilt tripped by their family and their family was oblivious to the additional harm they caused. Unhelpful advice from loved ones is often more damaging than empathy because the lack of understanding creates rifts.
Demonstration Of Constant Velocity With A Moving Trampoline
witness them
This is 8 years too late but this video is probably why I got a degree in physics.
ive probably said this before but i LOVE the twilight zone episodes with no quantifiable moral at the end, they just wrap up like “wouldnt it be fucked up if that happened?”
everyone saying black mirror NO the whole point of black mirror is that it’s rife with unwanted morals! no! i don’t want to be told how technology is making us distant and how helicopter parenting makes kids hate you i want “what if astronauts found their own dead bodies on a random planet and had a breakdown for a full episode then realized they’re dead for real and then forget and do it all again forever, wouldn’t that be fucked? i’m rod serling”