My favorite thing is when people tell me that I’m a positive force in their lives, an angel, a ray of sunshine.
Because half of me is like, “Yes! I try so hard to do this for you! You deserve everything! My nefarious plans to keep you happy have worked!”
But the other half of me is like “Lol ok. I’m literally just human shaped depression and anxiety; I am numb to the world, half the time everything is in static. Sounds fake but ok.”
And just. Thank you. For letting me know my efforts pay off. It sometimes is a real struggle to try to project every iota of positivity I can towards you, to concentrate on every word you say. Sometimes it leaves me drained. And I don’t want any of you to feel guilty, because this is my choice, and it really is all worth it when I can see that I’m not just working in vain. I’ve made you happy, I’ve made your world brighter if even for just a moment.
That is my rejuvenation. Because putting my everything into making you smile and validating everything you do and are, is the only way I know how to love, and though it can leave me feeling exhausted and tense, it is all so, so worth it.
Thank you, for trusting me.
@blessedkeith @shcith @shiroqanetakashi @mi-kish @marmoraskeith @pining-keith