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You know, when they brought in the lance of Michael in season 12, the very first thought to pop into my mind was, “Raphael deserves a raise.”

Because this weapon that, to quote the episode, “kills the bad ones fast, and the good ones slow and painful,” sounds like a nervous breakdown took place. It sounds like wounds were still fresh. Lucifer had been locked away, God had stormed out, and Michael turned around to find that Gabriel had run away in the dead of night with the words “EAT A DICK LOSERS” left scrawled on his bedroom wall, and Michael lost it.

And yes, I do think that Michael had Gabriel on the mind. Because think about the implications of what the spear does, what Ramiel, Prince of Hell, and divine weapons enthusiast, tells us about the lance: It was made by Michael, who only ever wanted to kill one angel, and he wanted them to suffer.

Note the key word: want. First assumption? They’re talking about Lucifer. But that doesn’t make sense. Why make a weapon that would kill the bad ones fast if the goal was for Lucifer to suffer? The lance only makes sense, by Ramiel’s assessment, if it was made for someone else. Someone Michael was angry with---very angry with---but was not outright “bad.” And what other angel might have gotten under Michael’s skin?

It is my belief that Michael made the lance to take out Gabriel. In season 5, he says that he does not want to kill Lucifer, and I believe that that is true. Michael booted Lucifer from Heaven because he had to. And he believed that killing Lucifer was his destiny because he had to, because God told him it was so. But he and the other archangels were also alive to see the Darkness sealed away, and Lucifer take on the Mark, which we know alters behavior. And as such, Michael might have on some level, despite Chuck’s assertions that Lucifer was pure evil, not seen Lucifer as being entirely at fault for his own moral alignment.

But then Gabriel left. Gabriel chose to turn his back on the family, and their father’s plan, and he did not have the same excuse that Lucifer did. All the other angels in Heaven were terrified of showing any hesitation with their duties. And yes, Lucifer was an example, but I think that Michael turning rabid over one of his closest brothers running off on his own might have backed it up. And mind you, I do think that Michael got over this anger after it’s initial incitement, but in the heat of the moment, he wanted to. . .And I think rumors spread from this moment, rumors that even reached the depths of Hell, about Michael locking himself away in a room, where he proceeded to work himself into a rage that shook Heaven itself. And you know who must have kept Heaven running when Michael was in there? Who promptly dropped everything the second that door finally creaked open?

RAPHAEL.

And even though angels don’t need to sleep, I fully believe that Michael had all the signs of someone who hadn’t slept in forty-eight hours. Circles under the eyes, hair’s a mess, and a dazed expression, like he doesn’t quite know where he is. And in one hand, Michael was holding this new, terrifying thing that he’d made.

And Raphael just approaches him like, “Hey, Michael, what do you have there?”

Raphael reads the inscription on the hilt, that empowers the lance and relays what it does, as per Crowley’s assessment in season 12.

“Oh. That’s certainly. . . um . . You know, why don’t we put this someplace really special. If you’ll just let go of it—”

Raphael reaches out into the hallway and grabs Virgil by the collar, Virgil being very confused because he hadn’t even been standing in the hallway at the time. Raph shoves the spear into his hands and hisses, “HIDE THIS IN THE DARKEST CORNER OF THE ARMORY. NOW.”

And then Raphael turns back to Michael, saying, “You know what humans just invented? It’s called chamomile tea. Let’s get you some.”