ZOE I COME TO YOU WITH A NEW SHIP PROMPT BECAUSE I AM DROWNING IN SPIRK THESE DAYS. (if you are uncomfy writing spirk please don't do it just... spirk. ♥) So.. Line...Ummm okay *sometimes, Jim wanted to do anything to just make Spock shut up, punch him in the face... or kiss him. He wasn't picky.* (yes i suck at prompting I am sorry)
(ONE OF MY ULTIMATE OTPS, NO AMOUNT OF NERVOUSNESS CAN STOP ME FROM TRYING!!! And nooo, it’s a good light hearted prompt to ease my way in!! Okay, here we gooooooooo!! AO3 link, cos it broke 2k and the ‘read more’ never seems to work on mobile!)
Sometimes, Jim wanted to do anything just to make Spock shut up. It wasn’t that he didn’t like talking to him, they often talked for hours off duty. But his reports were so dry, and he always insisted on summarising them out loud. Probably because he suspected Jim wouldn’t read them. He was mostly correct there. Still, it was even worse when he started summarising a report on the bridge, when Jim had only wandered over to his station to break the monotony or a slow day.
Listening to a dry report about the specimens they’d sampled on the previous planet was not breaking the monotony, in Jim’s opinion.
Even slumping slightly against Spock’s side, breaking into his personal space, wasn’t shutting him up. That sometimes made him take a step back and re-evaluate whether Jim was even listening. Not this time. This report was particularly dry, as Spock detailed the chemical structure of something. Jim wasn’t really listening. He was already thinking of other ways to shut him up. Punch him in the face, or kiss him. He wasn’t picky.
Either would certainly break the monotony, even if both were highly inappropriate, and likely to land him in the infirmary.
“I really would prefer to be kissed, rather than punched, if you are going to resort to such barbaric means of shutting me up,” Spock suddenly said, and it took a moment for his words to filter through Jim’s boredom.
The dead silence on the bridge helped him get there. He blinked stupidly at Spock for moment.
“No, you did not say that out loud,” Spock said, raising one eyebrow to the exacting height that indicated amusement.
Jim looked down. Sure enough, in his first attempt of shutting him up by invading his personal space, he had leaned against his side enough that their wrists were touching.
Feeling his face heat up, he pulled his hand back, so his thoughts were no longer open to Spock’s perusal. Clearing his throat, he glanced around the bridge, and everyone turned back to their instruments.
“I’m shocked, Mr. Spock,” he said, not looking at him directly. “One would think the former is breaking more regulations than the latter.”
He could see Uhura fighting a smile at her station, and scowled at her.
“Physically assaulting a high-ranking officer, even as Captain, is certainly a more serious infraction than kissing him,” Spock said, and Jim gave him a scandalised look, unable to believe he was actually saying that. On the bridge.
“Surely kissing a high-ranking officer without permission is classed as a form of assault,” he said, before thinking it thought. “With longer reaching consequences.”
Spock tilted his head, his eyebrow still at that amused height. “You assume lack of permission in haste, Captain, did I not just indicate permission?”
Jim couldn’t stop his eyes from widening. He was sure his face would be red. Had he stepped into some sort of alternate reality that morning? Was this even Spock? His calm and collected, logical, at least while on duty, First Officer?
“Surely when forced to choose between a kiss and a punch, it’s not the sort of permission that can circumvent regulations and prevent disciplinary action?” he said, his voice a bit weak.
Spock’s lips twitched, and Jim stared at him in shock. He’d not seen him look so openly amused outside of their off-duty interactions before.
“Surely an able Captain is not the kind to suggest something he is not brave enough to carry out?” Spock teased.
Jim made an embarrassing sound before he could stop himself. “Surely a capable First Officer is not one to take thoughts and hold a man to them!”
“Would a Captain rather face disciplinary actions for touching a Vulcan with his skin, without explicit permission?” Spock’s tone indicated no offence, but Jim still felt guilt twist his stomach. He broke that rule far too often, usually without even realising it at the time. “Which do you think the Admiralty would prefer to deal with? That, or a more personal breach of protocol?”
“Why, Mr. Spock, surely a Vulcan would prefer the former,” he said weakly. It was starting to sound like Spock was trying to corner him into kissing him. That was making thinking rather difficult.
Spock tilted his head to the side. “Why, Captain, I do believe you are exhibiting cowardice. Over a simple human gesture. How fascinating.”
Jim clenched his hands into fists, and his face grew hotter. Spock certainly had a tilt to his lips now that indicated a smirk. He was toying with him, and winning.
“Or maybe I was leaning more towards punching you!” he hissed.
Spock’s lips quivered, clearly wanting to smirk more openly. Usually Jim revelled in making him break that Vulcan mindset, and show his human half, but today he was completely thrown by it.
“How disappointing,” Spock said. “But the monotony is broken, is it not?”
“The mono—” Jim cut himself off. His voice was too high. And Spock looked entirely too amused, even if it was only by such minute shifts in his expression. “Mr. Spock! This is highly irregular!”
“But very educational,” Spock said. “That someone so brave could be so affected by such an innocent topic. I have witnessed this behaviour in other humans before, but thought you above it. Fascinating.”
Jim gaped at him. “I am shocked by your impertinence, Mr. Spock,” he said, regaining awareness of where they were, when Uhura sniggered. “Any more of this, and I’ll have to take disciplinary action.”
That only seemed to amuse Spock more. “Of a more official capacity? Or are we still discussing your indecision of how best to assault me into shutting up, as you put it?”
Uhura lost control, and let loose a peal of laughter. Jim was used to the bridge crew getting loose with regulations and propriety on particularly uneventful days, and often encouraged it, but he had never seen Spock so completely unprofessional while on duty before.
“Mr. Spock! Do we need to take this discussion of insubordination to the briefing room? You are setting a disappointing example to the crew!”
Spock tilted his head again, and he openly smirked. The sighed had Jim’s pulse racing Open displays of emotion from Spock always had that effect on him.
“It would be a more appropriate location for an altercation between high ranking officers, so that the lower ranks don’t get ideas, Captain.”
Jim spluttered for a moment, truly torn between punching him for making such a fool of him, and shoving him back against the console and making him eat his words.
“Oh, I do prefer the latter option, Captain,” Spock said, and squeezed his wrist. Jim hadn’t even noticed him touch it. “If you must break regulations.
“Mr. Sulu, you have the conn!” Jim snapped, pulling his wrist free, and glaring at Spock. “Mr. Spock, proceed to the briefing room, so we can discuss your blatant insubordination in private.”
