This is a long personal post about a girl I like so this is boring as hell so do yourself a favor and ignore please!! hehe Also in case you will continue reading anyway, this happened like an hour ago so I wrote everything down right after it happened.
I don’t think I have ever felt that way before or maybe I have but this one feels better or more exciting. I don’t know exactly but it feels so different.
When I had a glimpse of her in the benches I walked briskly out of sight. I felt a strange thrill crawl into my skin and I caught myself smiling. Then I started thinking what is this, what was that? But I tried brushing it off, thinking that I cannot harbor any kind of feelings for her because things would be too complicated. I will keep on thinking this way; I will keep making sure that this doesn’t grow any deeper than it is.
But when I saw her just moments ago with our friends I couldn’t help it. I looked at her with longing and tenderness that I swore I would never incorporate with her. The kind of feelings that makes me want to say all these cheesy things because she deserves to know how amazing she is. She didn’t look any different though, same uniform, same hair, same everything but it was different still. I saw her eyes look at me in a different way too. I could be just imagining it but I swear my heart skipped a beat whenever we locked eyes.
I hugged her hello and goodbye, in my mind it was the same thing we do whenever we see each other but those two hugs were different. I felt a comfort envelop me when we pressed together and we lingered in those embraces, like I felt her so much more, like something has changed between us. It was so strange but so wonderful.
After our hug goodbye, as they started walking towards the exit she said “Kiss Jane for me.” (Jane is our friend who will be with me the whole afternoon)
“Where?” I replied, teasingly.
She giggled, immediately understanding me. She always did get me more than most of my friends, she just does. “Did you miss it?”
I grinned and she grinned with me as I spoke, “Absolutely. Want another one?”
But she didn’t reply. She just giggled again until she was near the exit and I got in the guidance office.
I know I might be thinking into it too much, I might be overthinking things because this is new and it makes me feel so alive but I know my limitations. I wrote a lot of sappy shit but it won’t go too far. I’ll let things happen, fall into place, but I won’t dive into this blind.
I just, she is just so beautiful goddamit. She has straight, black hair that falls to her chest. Her eyes are round and coffee brown. Her lashes, oh goodness, I have never seen long and thick lashes like that. She has chubby cheeks that compliments her smile or gives more character to her grin. Her lips, oh good lord, her lips are perfect. They’re not too plum or too thin, they’re just right. It was just a moment but when I kissed her that night, it was like sinking into warm water, the sensation and the longing swimming to every part of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, about our kiss. She was all I could think about for weeks, I still can’t believe I was able to kiss her. It feels like a dream, an amazing one, one that I would love to keep repeating.
btw we kissed because of a dare but I liked her even before that so imagine being able to kiss your crush like????? <3 <3 <3