#mid september

[snaill-dragon]

I haven’t been posting art lately so have a silly oc drawing I did a while ago.

Just gals being pals <3

[whatiwillsay]

girl if you don’t stop wearing your braids like a pattern and leaning into that damn cottagecore

[restopersempre]

Oggi pomeriggio ho preso la macchina e ho vagato per il mio paese per circa 20 minuti, poi ho parcheggiato e sono andata in un parco che non frequenta nessuno, un po' sperduto, praticamente nessuno lo conosce. Mi sono seduta su una panchina, ho cercato di svuotare la mente, ma è successo l'esatto contrario. Tutte le lacrime che in questo mese non avevo versato, le ho versate in un ora lì seduta, mi sentivo mancare il respiro, non riuscivo a fermarmi, avrei voluto stringermi forte a qualcuno. Ma ero lì da sola, mi sono ricomposta, ho fatto dei lunghi respiri, mi sono guardata attorno, ho alzato gli occhi al cielo e sono rimasta a guardarlo per almeno 10 minuti, mi sono sentita in pace. Ho raccolto lo zaino, preso le chiavi della macchina e sono tornata a casa un po' più vuota, ma anche un po' più forte.

[ohartspace]

Experimenting

[an-aesthetic-student-blog]

Nobody:

Me already:

[m-mic-micah]

I talk about sobering up a lot, and then I never do it.

I think addiction lies to you: when there’s the option to cave, it tells you that just one won’t hurt. Then one turns to four, and then four becomes daily.

I think mjm is doing so much better by now because they’ve been sober—they aren’t as angry with themself; their progress isn’t as impeded as mine.

Sobering up isn’t for them. It isn’t for anyone. It’s got to be for my self—not just my long term self, but also my present one. The anxiety of being sober can be lame, but dealing with those emotions with clarity is healthy. I experienced that in New Mexico (although my family there did make me feel complete). While I may feel more alone here, and not quite have a family or roommates the way they do, I can still find family and a home in myself and hobbies. I can read, write, meditate, exercise. Those are great stress management techniques—I plan on employing them more henceforth.

I’ll remind myself, next time I think, Oh, this one time won’t hurt, that it will. It always does. It’s not worth the one time, because the payoff doesn’t outweigh the guilt, the possibility of retrogression.

It truly is time to man up. Life is hard, but it hasn’t kicked me out of the running yet. I won’t go down without fighting.

It’s time to start saying no.

[florence-g-s]

I haven’t stopped drawing!

There’s something huge coming soon, which I can’t release until I’ve done something. Expect it for mid-september!

Stay tuned.

[parceling-chandigarh-tec-j]

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