KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

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KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW
it really is crazy it's like i was born to be subjected to trauma. like it started literally when i was born and in all i've lived maybe MAYBE a third of my time on this earth not going through something traumatic. and every time, through it all, i've white knuckle gripped "it'll get better some day, it has to" until my fingernails bleed AND YET there's always been some new fucking trauma just right around the corner. it's always something. what the FUCK is up with that??
my inner child is perfectly fine. not in need of any healing. my inner middle schooler though.........deeply wounded. poor baby bird
...I'm currently wearing hand-me-down jeans that were my mom's that were my aunt's.
*suddenly misses middle school friends and even. semi-friends(?) and is very sad over multiple lost friendship cause im bad at remembering to talk to people?*
i leave for college tomorrow?????
When I was in the seventh grade I convinced a whole class of kids that peanut butter was a moisturizer because one kid saw I had peanut butter all over my hands from lunch. I didn't think they believed me until one kid brought a jar one day and started passing it around for people to use on their hands.