44!
44. Rant about something writing related. Oh, no.
I'm about to lose friends.
So. Here's the thing. I will never ever EVER comment this on a posted fic, or privately message the author, or anything. I firmly believe that if you are brave enough to post your writing in a public forum (like AO3 or tumblr or wherever), then you do not deserve my grammar-obsessed ass nagging at you like your least favorite English teacher. Also, typos happen to all of us, myself most definitely included. (I personally do appreciate them being pointed out to me, though, because I would much rather fix the ones I miss.) And, like, English is a fucking WEIRD and COMPLICATED language, even for those of us who grew up speaking it, the rules are often illogical and contradictory, etc.
But in the past couple of years, I have noticed an absolute RASH of one particular problem in otherwise perfectly well-written fics, and it is driving me up a fucking wall, and, well, you asked.
DIALOGUE TAGS AND HOW TO PUNCTUATE THEM. GODDAMN.
"This is an example line of dialogue," your author said.
If it is a sentence that would normally end in a period, and the dialogue tag ("your author said") follows it, USE A COMMA TO END THE SENTENCE OF DIALOGUE. And if the dialogue tag itself does not begin with a proper noun (like the character's name), DO NOT CAPITALIZE IT. The tag is functioning as the end of the sentence that began in the dialogue.
WRONG: "This is an example line of dialogue." Your author said.
RIGHT: "This is an example line of dialogue," your author said.
If it's a question or an exclamation or what have you, use that form of punctuation in place of the comma, but guess what? Same rule for capitalization in the dialogue tag.
WRONG: "Is this a line of dialogue?" The writer asked.
RIGHT: "Is this a line of dialogue?" the writer asked.
If your dialogue tag comes BEFORE the spoken line, that's a goddamn comma, too. However, you do capitalize the first word of dialogue itself (assuming it's the beginning of a sentence).
WRONG: The writer said. "listen to me talk!"
RIGHT: The writer said, "Listen to me talk!"
What if the tag comes in the middle of one sentence of dialogue, you ask? Excellent question. It's still being treated like one full sentence that happens to be interrupted by the narrative.
WRONG: "But have you considered." The speaker said. "That this line might be interrupted?"
RIGHT: "But have you considered," the speaker said, "that this line might be interrupted?"
Please. If you learn one lesson about punctuation (while writing in English), let it be this. I know it sounds nitpicky, but this is the single biggest culprit that will make me backbutton out of your fic within the first couple of paragraphs, because it actively hurts my brain trying to read dialogue that is consistently incorrectly punctuated. It completely fucks the flow of the words. And I get why this is a thing newer writers in particular miss, because your English teacher probably didn't specifically teach you how to write dialogue -- they care more about basic spelling and grammar. But boy HOWDY is dialogue a major feature in most fanfic, and so I beg of you, please, please, learn how to punctuate it.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
