#mild comedy

[thedramaholic]

How many times have you rewatched Love in the Clouds? 👀

[subsequent-consequent]

So, did everyone get their Soul Jams at the same time? if they didn't who got theirs first and who got theirs last?

Seems like Suzette Crepe has been doing their research.

And perhaps smoked gold is just as prideful as his predecessor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Transcript:

Hm…we in the cacao kingdom left for beast yeast first. But the other kingdoms left rather soon after.

It was me. How do you know that? I was the first back in Crispia.

You can fly I don’t think that counts. Wh! I don’t even know how to yet! Wait really?-yes! …I don’t recall the day I got back, it all blurred together.

*off screen Suzette Crepe* It was dense caramel

Sorry? The jelly in her jam is the most changed compared to the other four, candied ginger is the least developed.

How do YOU know that?

I scanned all of you when you arrived here to study them. I’ve found some odd qualities, but tracking mine has shown changes.

It is changing its molecular structure with my presence. My hypothesis is that it is a symbiotic relationship between the user and the soul jam.

First transfer: 87% crystal 11% vanilla 8% wafer 3% berry

Current state: 87% crystal 9% vanilla 9% wafer 4% berry

...

Oh for witches-dense caramel was first, then smoked gold, passion fruit, me, and then candied ginger.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The longest transcript by far I regret a little. But a great ask very fun.

[imjustagirl247]

An Agent of Chaos

He strode through the dark city streets, the shadows his companions. Bill entered a seedy tavern, filled with drunken revelers. He pushed through the crowd to the bar and ordered a drink. The bartender, a haggard man with a scar across his face, slid him a tankard of ale. "Enjoy your drink, masked man," the bartender said with a sneer. "But don't go cause'n any trouble, now."Bill smirked, a cruel, cold expression. "Oh my intentions are quite the opposite, my friend. Very much so." He took a swig of ale then turned and surveyed the room. His eyes lit upon a stunningly dark and captivating woman in a low-cut dress. She was surrounded by a group of drunken men with silver crests. Bill narrowed his green eyes and sauntered over. "These aren't bothering you, are they?" he questioned her. She nodded promtly and all seven of the men attacked him, but he dispatched them at an alarming speed, breaking their necks with brutal efficiency. The woman screamed and tried to flee, but he grabbed her arm in a protective grip. Bill dragged her out of the tavern into the alley. You are in more peral than you think you are madmoizelle. A city like this is no place for a beauty like you. He stated half jokingly "I can handle myself just fine!" she exclaimed, marching off as more men with silver crests came plumiting their way. He swiftly pulled her back into the alley, holding her in his arms. For a moment she looked up at his masked face, taking in his striking green eyes. "Just so you understand honey, right now, out there on your own, your life expectancy is down here." he stated lowering his gloved hand. Raising it up he stated "With me." Lowering it back down again "without me" he reiterated.

[insane-control-room]

(Throws Tablet)

In which Evans lets Elise see some of Doug's texts to him, because this time he's gone too far.

a friend sent me this incorrect quote; made a fic. https://www.tumblr.com/darkdeception-incoquotes/705849624478597120/elise-throws-phone-at-the-wall-in-a-fit-of incorrect quote from: @darkdeception-incoquotes my requests are open btw :3 also this isnt canon to most of my stories i just lost my mind at 1am

Rated: G (Implied suggestive content) Warnings: referenced/implied cheating ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47867194

(Fic under cut)

“That cheating prick!” Elise growled, gripping the tablet hard enough to make slight white spots appear under her press. She stared at the pictures, face white with rage. “That lying, cheating prick!” 

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” Evans sighed, trying to be as gentle as he could with her. Normally, Evans simply pleaded with Doug not to cheat on Elise, tried to get him to change his ways and go home instead of ‘working’ late in his office. This time, though, Doug had the audacity to text him some pictures snapped during his illicit exploit. Evans had threatened Doug that if he ever dared do such a thing, he would show the images to Elise, and, well, now he was making due on that very remark. He hated watching Elise’s rage at the confirmation of her suspicions. Even if Doug never denied her accusations of him cheating, she never had any proof, and it was enough for her to cling to. But now…. “I’m sorry, Elise.” 

“No. Thank you, Evans,” Elise shook her head. She took in a deep breath, and looked back at the pictures. “I needed this. Goddamnit, I needed this.” 

Evans shifted, slightly uncomfortable, as she began to scroll through his and Doug’s text history. He bit his lip to keep from protesting. She had a right to see, even if he hated sharing any glimpse of his private life with anyone. She laughed incredulously, venomously. 

“He even tried to get into your pants!” she scoffed, pausing in her scroll. Evans’ cheeks heated significantly while he recalled the several soliciting, salacious texts Doug had sent him. “Good on you for shutting him down! God, that backstabbing, crass, disgusting shit!” 

Evans tried to calm her down, but he was a moment too late. The enraged woman threw the tablet against the wall. Evans winced as it shattered.

“Um, Elise?” Evans quietly remarked, his hands shifting to hold each other in his meekness. “That was mine.”

Elise stared at the broken device for a moment before a soft pink blush colored her cheeks. 

“Oh,” she replied, sounding surprised. She pursed her lips for a second before commenting, “I’ll pay for it.” 

“You don’t have-”

“I’m going to use Doug’s card.”

“Oh. I see,” Evans nodded. Fair enough. “I’d appreciate it.”

“You know what I would appreciate, Detective?” Elise asked, looking at him through her lashes. He swallowed down a blush, shrugging. “If you’d be a sweetheart and cuffed Dougie onto a chair.” 

“Seems like a mild punishment,” Evans dryly remarked. 

“It’s so he could watch me go down on you,” Elise explained, dancing her fingers over his chest. 

Evans felt all of his blood rush to his face, and he choked on air, gaping at the coquettish woman before him. 

“I have to go,” he stammered.

“See you around, Detective,” Elise grinned, and winked. She called after him. “I think it would be a great way to keep him from cheating!”

“Not listening!” Evans answered, still blushing. 

[sezjackvo]

Just mispronounced Leonard with the same intonation as Leotard

[nazrinparis]

found this on facebook 😂😂