#mildly lonely

[leviathandoodles]

Todays just been incredibly uneventful as always.

[fyredreame]

Is there a good reason you're not in my bed, because I can't think of any.

[tasseographic]

Monday nights: 

thinking about exes

watching Firefly for the nineteen-hundredth time

feeling sad about lots of things that I can't control.

I hate Monday nights. 

[tasseographic]

I have mixed feelings when my partner leaves for overnights. I adore being alone in the apartment, blasting K-pop and bleeding great freshets of words all over my recent silly-scary project. But there is no one to tell about the twist my prose has taken.

Then again, even when he is here, it is not as if he cares.

I think I need to get out of this relationship. I just don't know how.

It always comes close to ending, but we never quite get there! Frustrating.

I promise this will not always be about my whining. Tomorrow, another 1600 words, and painting, and sewing for Fanime. Then Japanese study.

Tonight, in the quiet, I may allow myself a very small dream of another girl, someone who cosplays and might understand some things...

I wonder about the realities of a stable triad. I wonder if I am the kind of person who can manage that. I have had inklings of polyphilia before, but I do not know what is real and what is wishful thinking.

Bisexuality is not as fun as television would lead you to believe.