Aug 12, 2024
i enjoy adding insane ridiculous lore to characters that don't matter actually. here's the black friday line (mix of canon and headcanon traits).
ask me about them?? yes.
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i enjoy adding insane ridiculous lore to characters that don't matter actually. here's the black friday line (mix of canon and headcanon traits).
ask me about them?? yes.
do you ship it?
woman #4 (woman/shopper #4) from the hatchetfield universe
i ship it!
i feel neutral about it
i don't ship it
i don't know the characters
Ash and I just love taking side characters from hatchetfield and making them prominent in our hatchetfield au so this is ‘Shopper number 4 / mildly peeved mega’ aka as he has called him Michael peanuts mega. And Edward mega as we have called him aka proud papa Ed.
In our little hatchetverse the two of them are twins who could not be anymore different. Mikey is a loud, extroverted guy not afraid to speak his mind, Ed however, is a reserved, quiet guy.
The two are main characters in our Black Friday au and are two of the only characters to survive to the end due to peanuts the hatchetfield pocket squirrel.
(Michael was drawn and written by @ashtxeman )
So my brother just sent me a link to mildly peeved Mega’s and Man in a Hurry’s wiki and it’s fantastic
Hatchetfield Side Characters I've Invented Random Lore For
written in collaboration with @venomousray! his writing is especially prominent for malone, proud papa ed, and the vet
Shopper #4 / Curt's Shopper / Mildly Peeved Mega
Name: Michael P. Mega [Initials MPM, same as Mildly Peeved Mega]
36 years old, and the identical twin brother of Proud Papa Ed
The lesser known twin. Unemployed, broke, and was homeless for some time (making him acquainted with the Homeless Man). The only reason he isn't still on the streets is because his brother has a ton of money from owning Peanuts so could afford to let him move in.
Loves marmite on toast
Used to work at the Hatchetfield Nuclear Plant which was bought by CCRP. All workers were promptly fired, sending him down a spiral to rock bottom
A recovering alcoholic
Pretty chubby, practically the opposite of his brother. They're only really alike through their faces
He wants everything his brother has - fame, recognition, and money- but gets none of it. It does make him jealous, but at the end of the day he loves his brother more than any of those material things
Very apprehensive towards his brother's boyfriend, James. He warms up to him later on, but it's far from immediate
Generally seen as grumpy and unlikeable, but is shockingly compassionate and defensive of those he loves
Proud Papa Ed
Name: Edgar Mega
36 years old, identical twin brother of Michael P. Mega
A very shy and introverted man, not really a fan of all the fame that Peanuts brought him
He found Peanuts when she was just a baby, having fallen out of a tree. He takes her everywhere and treats her like a child, spoiling her rotten. He'd die for her if he had to
Constantly tries to correct people who think Peanuts is a boy (everybody does), but speaks way too quietly to be acknowledged
If anything happened to Peanuts, he would immediately give up everything and never be happy again
Often comes off as dry and uninteresting, but simply struggles with social situations
Has a touch of the gift and is known by Webby. He's since lost contact with her but talked to her a lot as a child- anybody who knew him assumed she was just an imaginary friend
Discovered an escaped Charles Coven clone [James Shopper] during a walk in the park. He let him take shelter at his house and adjust to society. They later fell in love, and now they're dating. Their third wheel is Michael
Fears Charles Coven and is a target of CCRP due to harbouring an escaped clone
Wishes he had what his brother had- peace, quiet, and a simple life- but with Peanuts around there's no way to escape the constant questions and pestering whenever he goes out in public. The people of Hatchetfield can't get enough of that squirrel
Corrupt Man / James' Shopper
Name: Charles Coven #013 / James Shopper
37 years old physically, just like Charles, but in reality has only existed for around 2 years
An escaped Charles clone who broke out of CCRP following a malfunction with the vat he was being stored in. He was found hiding in a bush at the park by Ed, and took shelter from CCRP's forces at his house. He later fell in love with Ed and now lives with him permanently, becoming his own person.
Named himself 'James Shopper' on a whim by taking words from nearby billboards
Loves wearing sweaters because they're comforting, and wears them even in warm weather. He hates wearing anything close to suits or fancy shirts because they remind him too much of Charles
Has a tendency to slip back into Coven's mannerisms. He'll sometimes speak like Charles, become drawn to money, or express a lack of empathy for people when bad things happen
Usually wears clothing that covers his wrist, as that's where his clone number is tattoed
Possesses all of Charles' memories and often has flashbacks or nightmares pertaining to them
Doesn't get along well with Ed's brother Mike at first, but eventually does become good friends with him
Tries to keep a low profile within Hatchetfield to avoid CCRP's detection. Known to most as 'sweater guy' or 'man who was a bit of an asshole but not enough to remember his name'
Jaime's Time Bastard Scientist
Name: Doctor Janice Springs
Her name is often shortened to 'Jan' as a nickname, it's similar to 'Jen' for Jenny on purpose
A long-time researcher at CCRP who specialised in automatons and human enhancement. Appearance wise she resembles an older Sally from MAMD.
Far before the events of Time Bastard, she became acquainted with Andrew Kilgore (at the time of meeting him, Andy Keller) after nursing wounds following a cybernetic surgery. They became closer over the years until they fell in love, and she began to urge him to stop his cybernetic enhancements and flee from CCRP with her to a better life. She was accidentally killed by Andrew in a fit of rage, sending him down a path of grief and apathy that would allow Charles to mould him into a pawn.
Even in the future, Kilgore was unable to move on from losing her and had an android replica made of her. The version of her seen during Time Bastard is unknowingly an android. Kilgore avoids her despite his instance on having her created, but refuses to have her deactivated, unable to handle losing her twice.
She is capable, brutally honest, and was a shoulder for Andrew to cry on during better times. As an android she's mostly the same but can't get close enough to Andrew to form any meaningful bond.
Sof / Lauren's Smoke Club Member
Name: Sophie Queen [A parallel to Danny King, fellow smoke club member]
19 years old, dropped out of school to become a full-time pothead. An official founding member of the Smoke Club, featuring herself, Danny, Deb, Alice, Ziggs, and Emma (as an honourary member).
Has absolutely zero worries since her parents are rich, but so rich they actually don't pay attention to her.. hence why she hasn't being scolded for her smoking.
Coughs up a storm practically everytime she speaks, but couldn't care less.
One of the most relaxed people in town, people can talk to her about anything and she'll just sit and listen.
Never seen without a bud in her hand.. or her mouth.. or both. She can pull them out of nowhere like some kind of magician. Take a bud off her and she'll gain five more after you blink.
Also never seen without Danny by her side. All they do is linger around alleyways and other dingy corners of town, coughing and smoking. As far as they're concerned, their lives are perfect.
In truth, her parents signed her up for a CCRP programme when she was young which resulted in her gaining hyper-intelligence. She's been subliminally conditioned into becoming a pothead because weed dampens her powers, making her completely unaware of her actual potential. If she became sober, she'd start reading thoughts and moving things with her mind. Both her and everybody she knows (except her parents) are unaware of this truth.
Xander Lee
No name needed, he's the same.
40 years old and a trans man! In a relationship with Macnamara, but is unaware of Macnamara's 'interactions' with Wilbur Cross.
Always wears his glasses, and is NEVER seen with them off. Nobody has any idea what they look like (ironic he isn't wearing them in the picture but trust me on this one).
His eyes are a bright yellow and glow when his glasses are off. This is the result of a deal made with T'noy Karaxis.
His deal with Karaxis occured following a deadly mistake involving the interdimensional portal, as Xander went against orders and tried to access it when it was unstable. This resulted in an immediate extinction event that erased the universe- however Karaxis had mercy on him, rewinding time to prevent the extinction event at the cost of Xander's memories.
He has no memory of the mistake he made, but is aware of the deal and is still haunted by the guilt, even occasionally experiencing flashbacks and nightmares about something he can't explain. The best way to explain it is a reverse Holloway situation, where rather than others forgetting him, he forgets things himself. Anytime he gets close to figuring out what's going on, any memory of his research is immediately erased.
His guilt manifests as a ghostly breeze that follows him wherever he goes. PEIP have tried to look into it many times, but it's impossible to decipher. This often results in him knocking over things as he walks by, but does look cool as it makes his jacket constantly flow in the wind.
As a trickster, Karaxis was not entirely truthful with the terms of the deal. If Xander is angered enough, a weregoat transformation occurs that can only be reversed by an engineered cure or an artifact that combats the essence of Karaxis.
In universes where the weregoat transformation occurs, Xander is kept as an experiment at PEIP or is cured by an amulet which he arranges into a fashionable belt.
Carol Davidson
Her maiden name is Carol Brief, she then became Carol Goldstein before finally marrying Ken and becoming Carol Davidson.
63 years old and the very loving wife of Ken Davidson. The two are insperable and easily the healthiest couple in Hatchetfield. It may have taken them a long time to finally find each other, given they'd known each other since college back in the 70's, but now they're united not even the end of the world couold break them apart.
Was a complete idiot in college, a generic 'popular girl' who flunked her classes in favour of parties and spending time with her boyfriend, Leonard Goldstein.
She became pregnant during college and ended up dropping out not long after the deaths of six students (the workin' boys). She gave birth to Gary Goldstein and raised him practically by herself, as Leonard was fast in becoming a deadbeat dad. She decided to drop out of college to look after Gary full-time, and became a single mother after dumping Leonard. She was always too good for him.
Would later run into Ken a good while after their college years, now both adults and with Gary away at law school. Ken helped her get back onto her feet and pursue the education Leonard had always stopped her from achieving, allowing her to get a degree in literature. She's an author now!
On very good terms with her son Gary, who visits often and even calls Ken 'Dad' at times.
A lovely women who's beloved by all who know her, although she's mostly known for simply loving her husband more than anything else in the world. Ken is more head over heels for her than she is for him, though.
Private Investigator Malone
Name: Eugene 'Malone' Dikrats
43 years old and a complete sleaze. He's known around Hatchetfield for being greasy, weird, and a general nuisance to all.. considering his entire career is producing blackmail, he isn't beloved by many people.
Has a rivalry with Gary Goldstein as they both compete for cases, with Malone often getting the upper hand. He and Gary have more history than just a simple rivalry however, as they dated in college and became quiet close. They parted after Gary went on to better things. In the present day Gary despises Malone in every way possible, avoiding him whenever he can and becoming enraged at the very sight of him.. but Malone loves to stick around and get on his nerves, even calling him 'G Goldy' as a nickname to piss him off. Gary won't admit he still somewhat likes him.
He smells like cigarette smoke and sweat. His hygiene is terrible and he knows it, refusing to do anything about it just because it's funny. A true piece of shit with absolutely no moral code or sympathy for the people who blackmails. As long as he's getting paid for it, he'll do pretty much anything.
What little sympathy he has shines for his brother, Randy, who works as a vet, however this love isn't mutual as Randy prefers to avoid his brother and shows disdain for his immoral work. Not that Malone cares, Randy is his little brother and he'll do anything to protect him.
Never seen without a cigarette, his camera, and a flask full of whiskey.
He wears pink crocs and a floral shirt with about two buttons tied. Fashion is the least of his concerns.
The Vet
Name: Randall 'Randy' Dikrats
32 years old, the younger brother of Malone Dikrats who wants absolutely nothing to do with him. He works as a vet at St Juniper's Veterinary Clinic, having always had a soft spot for animals since he was a child.
He almost rivals Paul for how much of a basic guy he is. Although he's not a Lord's favourite plaything, he's generally ignored in the town and can walk on the streets without being recognised a single time.
He absolutely despises his last name but really can't afford to get it changed. Most of the reason is because it associates him with his brother.
Although he actively avoids his brother and could live happily never seeing him again, he doesn't want any harm to come to him and would be upset if something ever happened. If Malone decided to get a more moral job, he might consider rekindling their relationship.
He owns a cat named Sugar and often petsits Frank Pricely's dog Buddy on his behalf. This makes him excellent friends with Frank, being one of the only people other than Holloway that he can rant to when he's having a bad day.
Thanks to his love of animals, especially cats, he happens to be in a relationship with Melissa.. which can only end well. As of now his genuine care for animals and generally uninteresting attitude has prevented him from being a dirty dog in Melissa's eyes.. but his brother is a different story.
He refuses to swear, using alternatives like 'fluff' and 'sugar'. He's a very PG man.
Completely disturbed by Sherman Young.. he knows something is going on with him, but can't figure out what.
A small analysis of the Black Friday line and the townie's individual wants
some hc stuff dabbled in here (mostly for james shopper), but the majority is based on canon!
Sherman Young: A classic case of being spoiled, he's greedy, if he wants something he'll get it no matter what. He's got the power of a hot rich Mother on his side so, there was no way he wasn't going to be there. If he lacks something, he feels incomplete and he'll probably wine about it too. Wiggly to him is like the final piece in his collection, the crowning jewel of all toys. As long as he doesn't have him he's not going to be happy.
James Shopper/The Corrupt Man: He's a clone of Charles Coven, and struggles heavily with seperating himself from his creator. He sees Wiggly as a way to be somebody new. Also explains his attachment to Linda's cheque, good treasure and great coin y'know. Wiggly is an opportunity to have a hobby or interest outside of what he's inherited from Charles.. and his want for Wiggly is also excentuated by the very greed he got from Charles.
Linda Monroe: Wilbur said most of this himself, she's desperate for adoration and thinks she'll find it if she gives her bratty children what they want.. or what she assumes they would want. We know they would never have actually mentioned Wiggly or shown interest, but Linda as a very shallow minded individual when it comes to these things would take a look at Wiggly, think of him as the latest 'trend', and set off to get the dolls for her boys. But her children don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, she's getting the Wiggly for herself as a source of adoration. She gives it to people who want it, and in return to she gets that love she craves so deeply.
Becky Barnes: On a surface level Becky is there to get dolls for the children, but in actuality she more likely wants the doll because she feels empty and alone. After the incident with Stanley she probably helps those feelings by interacting with the children and helping them, but once the doll is introduced she's drawn to it as a permanent source of happiness. A cure. Children come and go, but Wiggly is forever.
Tom Houston: Tom thinks he's here for his son, in a similar way to Becky where he feels empty and alone since the loss of Jane but finds those feelings easier to bare when Tim is happy. But deep down, he's here for himself. He knows that eventually Tim is going to grow sick of him, he's convinced himself that Tim blames him for what happened and they're inevitably going to grow apart. He'll be left more alone than ever before. If he gets a Wiggly, he can impress Tim and make him happy, make him want to stay. Or maybe, if he gets one, Tim won't even matter anymore.. Because just like it is with Becky, children come and go, but Wiggly is forever.
Curt's Shopper/Mildy Peeved Mega: He mentions that he 'lost his job when the plant closed' and he's clearly low on funds given how he complains about Wiggly's price fluctuating, so it's pretty obvious he's here for a Wiggly because he thinks it can help him forget his employment and financial troubles. Being unemployed must suck, especially in Hatchetfield where the threat of homelessness means a whole lot more. He's desperate for a crutch to help him forget. And who knows, if he has a Wiggly maybe people will think his cool and they'll hire him.
The Homeless Man: Joey's actually said a lot about this on commentary and such. The Homeless Man really wasn't there for a Wiggly at all.. he just saw everybody crowding and thought it looked warm, so joined in. Simply a case of him not wanting to freeze to death out in the cold. Though, when he does finally get his hands on a Wiggly and finds himself in the cult, it's easy to assume why. If anybody has holes that need to be fixed, it's him. His lovers dead, everyone hates him, and he's been haunted by a massive goat. Of course he'll think a cuddly little doll could help him!
Barry Swift/Man in a Hurry: Barry has one surface level character trait, and it's that he can never slow down. If you look to his dialogue in Daddy where he mentions trouble with his past relationships because of his tendency to hurry, you see just how much it ruins his life and even get the sense that he hates hurrying, but somehow has no choice but to do it anyway. A man who can never stop and enjoy life? Always gotta be on the move, looking for the next thing? The moment something like Wiggly comes into the picture, he's going to want it. Perhaps he thinks it'll finally motivate him to slow down and let him enjoy something.. or maybe he's just greedy and wants it so he can laugh in people's faces and say he's got one.
Gary Goldstein: Gary loves everybody in town, and really just wants to be appreciated and maybe even admired. Nobody credits him where he's due and some of his best clients treat him like shit (Sherman abusing his services for petty things, and Linda doing the same with the added threat of her husband if their affair is discovered). He's here for a Wiggly just because he knows it's the latest trend and if he gets in on it, people might like him more and he'll finally feel appreciated. He will do anything to be liked. Even join a cult and kick a man to death.
Hatchetfield refs OOOO.. Charlotte, Paul, Mildly Peeved Mega, James Shopper / Corrupt Man, Charles Coven, and Donna Daggit! These are all going towards a Hatchetfield Toyhouse project me and @venomousray are working on together. :)
do you ship it?
gogurt/attorney #4 (gary goldstein/shopper #4) from the hatchetfield universe
i ship it!
i feel neutral about it
i don't ship it
i don't know the characters