Hey Everyone,
I’m just going to make a serious post as I’m thinking about whether or not I want to come back and be active here again.
I understand that some of my actions deeply hurt some of the people on here, and before all of this I was sincerely not aware that anyone felt that way about things I had done. However, the way everyone here reacted blew a very personal situation far out of proportion. I absolutely said some very stupid things in anger on my main, but that could’ve been addressed with me in private, rather than the… well, shit show, that occurred almost a month later.
Most of the problems you all seem to have with me aside from that…. Are really nothing to do with me at all. It always seems to be something ice has done, with me lumped into the side as an accessory regardless of if that’s true or not. In all honesty I hate hurting people, I hate people being angry with my actions, and I would never act out in ways that I thought would hurt someone. Hopefully you can believe me saying this.
The most major issue from all of this is people taking their personal beef with me to Doc himself both through spamming him on twitter and through his email. These were accusations that were passed around as being true without any evidence. Had Doc not done his own research, I could have been blacklisted from a major industry that is largely based on reputation, word of mouth, and networking. If Doc didn’t believe me, my career could have been ruined because of false accusations, blatant lies, and the sheer amount of anonymous messages both Doc and I received.
Hopefully you guys understand the awful kind of image that has been painted of the tumblr hermitcraft fandom at this point to the hermits themselves. Through both the harassment of Cleo that occurred and blowing your issues with me out of proportion and harassing me off of the site, through Doc, to the point where I have to seriously think about my mental health before I properly return, it has only made it extremely public how awful and ridiculous this place can be. I really love tumblr. I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I just hope we can all take a step back and think about how extremely stupid all this has become. The hermits used to like the tumblr community. Some checked in on it regularly but they no longer do because of stuff exactly like this.
And, I guess finally, on the personal side of things, if my support system through this was not as strong as it is, I would’ve ended up in a MUCH worse place mentally. We all need to be aware of the effects of our actions I think, I’m just a person behind this blog, and these past weeks have been extremely rough even though I had the support I do. People I have never spoken to were making claims about things i didn’t and would never do, and I was receiving horrible messages and hate across multiple platforms, which I won’t share. No one actually came and asked me about any of this. It hurt. You can’t in the same breath complain when people are run off a website and then turn around and do the exact same.
This is probably going to be one of my last posts like this for a long time, and I don’t want this to be treated like ‘discourse’ or something to just start more issues. Hopefully whoever ends up reading this understands.
<3
