12. things you said when you thought i was asleep. / for tifa, because i am a menace and i will not apologize 💜
things you said . . . ♡ * closed ! @militus.
as it beamed down her, the sunlight felt no different than something man-made, a tremble or misstep away from its illusion breaking entirely. she recognized the strangeness in everything, but most of all, the familiar dread of finding something once precious now alienated. at that moment, her eyes fixed on him, his own incredulity, longer than she realized.
to find nibelheim in its prime again was to lose meaning: in the self she became, and the steel-lined home she rebuilt. each building surrounded her as though the details had been plucked from the past, its collective mind’s eye⸺ and she was the impostor, and her mind was never reliable, and her being disturbed the nature of things. despite the stillness, life ran its course through everything but her; sitting in the water tower, she found a steady anchor of sorts within the stars’ glinting. lamps and house lights flickered below, the inn where the group agreed to accommodate beckoning her back. sleep evaded her even well after her escape, and how could it not ?
the wood creaked underneath. she didn’t look back.
cloud had explored around as she had, and she needed not to ask what he found, for nothing was missing. or so they were told. he sat where he once did, and though he was no child anymore, she felt that same distance. in her mind, her own voice echoed as it did in front of the bonfire: it feels like you’re going far away. despite his past reassurances, he was going away, and she could only watch. tifa was no stranger to it. she had done the same, seven⸺ five years ago.
it was hard for her to tell how long she had spent there, knees drawn in, a soft, violent sense of disquiet pinching her figure closed.
finally glancing back, she found his back was pressed against the cylinder behind, arms over his chest. waiting. or not. his eyes had fluttered closed, and the rhythm of his breathing seemed even. quiet, distant like a figment. it made no difference in her solitude, but she could finally muster a whisper, “ there’s things i don’t want to be right about, but . . . there’s things i never even considered mistaking. ” she swallowed, the pocket of air slicing down her throat. “ i don’t know which i fear more. ”
at the heart of what should be her nibelheim, in the company of who she thought to be an old friend, she felt it. “ what if . . . you were right ? what if⸺ what if we were both wrong ? ”
❛ we can't keep doing this. ❜ / for miss ma'am u_u
from, @militus
"I don't know~ I think we're doing preeeetty good so far! Won't be long before everyone knows your name.." A cheerful expression and tone represent enough enthusiasm for both of them. Their boots crunched through gravel as they made their way through the back of the slums; a few issues to deal with, but nothing they couldn't handle. "Hmm..." a tuneful thought. She swayed her arms gently at her sides and, at some point, held the wrist of her other hand behind her back, just below her bangles.
"If I didn't know any better, someone ( teasingly leaning towards him, voice slightly elevated in tonality ) might even believe you were enjoying yourself!" She bounces on ahead with a soft laugh. "C'mon - the sooner we return, the sooner this will all be over." Would she intentionally aim to trip Cloud over his words to bring forth his protest, knowing his words weren't meant to mean a faster parting? Perhaps.
here on this night to say I may look like I’ve been silent, but I am never silenced. the muses I have here will never escape me 🔪 but I have been about just not here - or in the case of one (1) insane friend (ahem @militus ) we’re just getting BACK to the old muses people associate us with!
(And that I finally uh. Semi sorted out Aerith’s new page @roseauitta )
It's incredible!
Aerith stepped off the platform, wide-eyed, the lights of the Gold Saucer sweeping over her like a dream. The air was electric, music thumping from every corner, neon hues lighting the sky in shades she’d never seen before. It felt surreal, a world so different from the one she knew - too vivid to be real. For a girl from a small corner of Midgar, this felt like a universe apart.
Her eyes caught her friends' familiar faces as they moved through the crowd, their presence a comfort in the unfamiliar chaos. Her heart fluttered as she realized they were together, in a place so far from the world they’d known. A smile tugged at her lips, soft and disbelieving—this was real.
With every step, her curls bounced, her eyes drinking in the sights around her—flashes of bright colours, the hum of energy in the air. She wanted to memorize it all, afraid that if she blinked, it might vanish.
But then, her gaze fell to Cloud, there was something undeniably endearing about the way he stood there, unaffected by the chaos around him. His frown almost comical in contrast to the madness of the Gold Saucer. She couldn’t help but laugh, soft and light, a giggle that bubbled out without thinking. Cloud…
As the group pressed forward, Aerith slowed her pace, letting the others lead the charge. Eyes drifting back to Cloud, watching him with that familiar mix of wonder and hesitation, but she could see that spark of curiosity in his eyes. She stepped closer, fingers brushing lightly against his arm, a touch meant to draw him in, to remind him that he wasn’t alone in this.
“Let’s try to have some fun while we’re here, hm?” Her voice was soft, teasing, like the lights glowing around them. She looked up at him, her smile warm and inviting, hoping to pull him into this moment of joy.
It felt like a fleeting chance to escape everything - the weight of their journey, the heaviness of their pasts - and just be here. Together.
Barret had barely had a moment to let everything that had happened sink in since Corel. Midgar seemed like so long ago, a distant memory. The laughter they'd had along the journey, those moments of quiet reflection. Cosmo Canyon... Hell, if he got a chance he was going back there. He never thought they'd be here...
He looked to the sky, though he'd been told not to. The man saw nothing except an endless blue... clear, calm. Nothing like how any of them felt inside, hollow. The weight of something, someone, missing held onto his shoulders. A familiar weight, one he'd experienced many times before. Loss. This one hit him differently though. Maybe because he thought it could have been avoided if only they'd been faster.
They all could have... Dyne... his home... Myrna...
But Aerith? That one pressed against his chest in a way he didn't even know how to describe. It's like someone went an' turned the damn sun off... Where was her lighthearted laughter, her teases? That bright smile could make even him believe they would all get through this. Her loss made him want to go back to Midgar and hug Marlene tightly.
He'd hidden his eyes behind his sunglasses, turning his face as he let his grief escape. Nanaki was sitting with Tifa, she looked lost. Haunched over herself. Even Cid and Vincent were quiet. But most shockingly was Yuffie, she had barely said a word. He couldn't help but wonder if somehow she could see them all... if she could see how much they all cared for her... she knew... she had to have known...
Shaded eyes fell on Cloud, him... Barret didn't know what to make of him. He didn't seem saddened... at least not in the way he'd have expected. Mebbe he is... mebbe he's jus' hidin' it... tryin' to tough it out. Hah, wouldn't surprise me... the dumbass. He rose from his position and walked over to him, his hand for once gentle upon his shoulder. Not the usual clap with his loud voice.
"We're gonna get him." He promised, "An' he's gonna pay for everythin' he ever took... promise you that."
Cloud had once told him that he was there for him, Barret had believed it. Now it was his turn to show Cloud it was returned. They were family. All of them.
