Alright! I went to Adepticon and got to participate in the charity Paint and Pass at Ft Wappel.
The theme this year was Battletech! They had a 3d printed dropship and it was decided that it would be a pirate dropship lifting off while surrounded by mechs.
I thought "how would pirates pay for their travel costs other than pirating? They'd sell a billboard space for the Restaurant at the End of the Universe!"
I freehanded the Milliways logo onto the dropship on the livestream, I did some extra weathering onto the base and dropship, everyone did their own tags, someone painted an AMAZING sun themed face on the top. It was a great time and someone won the entire bundle to take home.
I dont know if I'll be able to attend Adepticon next year, so I tried to make the most of it.
Quite proud of this, also it's my birthday today :)
First part
"Hey, Arthur," Trillian said, smiling at him as she came up. Arthur just looked at her, but she was undeterred by Arthur's lack of response. Still smiling, she invited him to dinner at Milliways that night. Table 21 in the section Beta. Arthur looked at her strangely but accepted, saying he'd be there.
One down, one to go.
A few hours later, back on The Heart Of Gold, Trillian knocked on Ford's door. It opened with a sigh, and there stood Ford, half awake and in rumpled clothes from two nights ago. She smiled a bit at him.
"Go away, Trillian, I don't want what you're selling." Her smile faltered just a bit, but she went on, plastering a new smile over the faltered one.
"Ford, will you meet me tonight at Milliways?" Ford stared blankly at her for a moment, seemingly trying to gain the words to tell her something, before he got the better of himself and just nodded. Trillian flashed him a bright smile. "Okay, see you there! I'll be at table 21 in section Beta," she chirped, and the door closed in her face with another sigh.
She wiped the smile off her face and headed up to the bridge. One down, none to go. She got onto the bridge where Zaphod was lying passed out on the sofa after having had too much to drink the night before. She picked up the pitcher of alcohol and dumped it into the sink in the kitchen, refilling it with water and filling a second pitcher with ice water. Pitchers in hand, she walked back to the bridge. Zaphod was still passed out, so she set down the pitcher of water on the table beside him.
Hefting the pitcher full of ice water, she dumped it over his two heads. Both sputtered awake immediately, sitting up straight. Trillian smirked to herself as she picked up the second pitcher to hand him to drink. Water was the best way to cure a hangover, from her experience. He stared at her for a long moment.
"What the hell was that for?" he asked incredulously, almost as if he couldn't believe she had dumped ice water on him. She handed him the second pitcher, telling him to drink it fully. He begrudgingly started to drink it, pausing only once when one of his heads choked on the water.
"Now, get on an outfit for Milliways," Trillian said as soon as he’d finished the pitcher. Zaphod stared at her for a second, both heads focused directly on her. "Why?" He asked, still bewildered.
"Because," She said, a sly grin forming on her face again, "we're going to watch a date."
Zaphod looked at her. Then at himself. Then at her again.
"We couldn’t do that from here?" he tried. She shook her head.
"No, because I'm setting Ford and Arthur up on a date." Zaphod groaned, putting his head in his hands. His 2 hands fully covered his right head; his left head had only one hand holding it up.
"I thought you had given up after getting Fenchurch to set them up. Besides, they don't have to get together." Trillian ignored the mention of her failed attempt to get Ford and Arthur together. "We don't know they hadn't been going on a date then. Fenchurch left, remember?" When Zaphod nodded, Trillian continued, "And besides, I sent in the reservation to have a romantic dinner!"
"At Milliways?" Zaphod asked, trying not to point out that Milliways was the least romantic place to take Ford and Arthur. They'd been there enough times for the shine of the restaurant to have worn off. Trillian nodded before grabbing his third elbow and pulling (or trying to pull, at least) him off the sofa. She put the second pitcher in his hand and sent him off to put them up before Ford got out of his room.Arthur checked himself in the mirror, fixing his tie and checking to make sure his fly was up before heading out and hitching a lift to the nearest ship headed to Milliways.
Ford got to Milliways and got seated. He was a few minutes early, so he ordered himself a beer and waited for Trillian to get there for their dinner meeting.Trillian had been there for 2 hours already, watching from table 24 as Ford came in first. She watched him sit down and order something. Zaphod was sitting across from her, eating a steak. She had a steak as well, but hers had come out wrong. She watched Arthur come in a second later and sit down across from Ford, who had ducked under the table to grab his fork that he'd dropped. She watched as Ford came up and locked eyes with Arthur. He sprang up and looked at Arthur in shock.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Arthur asked, staring at Ford in an equal amount of confusion. Ford gaped like a fish for a bit before responding with "I was supposed to meet Trillian about something." Arthur relaxed, saying that he, too, was supposed to be meeting Trillian for something. They both settled down and waited for her to join them later.
Ford rechecked Arthur's watch. Trillian was an hour late. Max Quordlepleen had started his spiel about how he was so glad everyone was here for the end of the universe as we know it (again). They both clapped politely when it was needed, and went back to drinking their drinks. Both were hungry, but didn't want to order before Trillian arrived. That would be rude. Ford spotted Zaphod a few tables over and toyed with the idea of going over to say hi to him. Before he could, he got tapped on the shoulder by Arthur. He turned around to see Arthur looking at the menu.
"Order Ford, I don't think Trillian is going to make it," He said, sliding a second menu over to Ford. He took it and started flipping through it, noting the steak at the next table over. Arthur was milling over his when Max started back up again.
"I would like to welcome a few parties!" He said, "The group of minor gods from Asgard-" they cheered, and whistling came from the table- "A group of researchers for that wholly remarkable book!" Glasses clinked in another section, followed by someone shouting for a towel. "The couple who haven't bought a thing other than beer, good luck, you guys!" he said with a finger towards Ford and Arthur. He muttered under his breath, "You're gonna need it." He then went back to finishing the list.
Ford and Arthur just stared at each other. "Couple?" was mouthed between the two men. Trillian was glaring daggers at Zaphod. He ignored her and went back to eating his third slice of cake.
"Did he just call us a couple?" Asked Arthur after his brain started back up again. Ford nodded. It was at this point that their thoughts deviated.
Arthur was thinking about Ford not being gay in the slightest, so there was no way that the two of them could be on a date. It's not like Ford had ever shown any interest in him romantically. Not that Arthur could recall anyway.
Ford was thinking that Arthur looked good in the light of the dying universe. He was also wondering if Arthur thought they were on a date. He didn't think Arthur was that interested in him; he'd never shown any interest in him romantically. Not that Ford could recall anyway.
"So," Arthur tried to ignore the part of his brain screaming that he should go for it and ask Ford out, "What are you planning on getting?" The part of his brain that had been screaming groaned and slunk back into the back of his mind.
"Steak," Ford said. Arthur nodded before replying, "I think I'll get the steak too, looks good." Ford grunted in response. They ordered and ate, both not making eye contact with the other. Arthur stared at Ford's bag on the chair beside him, if he had to look up to talk. Ford just stared at the table behind Arthur. The two men finished their dinner, which was paid for by Zaphod, and left before the universe ended. They headed back to their ships, walking side by side in silence.
Ford stopped at The Heart Of Gold, which he hadn’t taken to the restaurant, but he didn’t care at that point and got aboard. Arthur debated heading to his ride, but got on with Ford and headed to his old room on the ship. Trillian got on a few minutes later with Zaphod.
Ford and Arthur heard her get on and both headed out of their room to tell her off for blowing the two of them off.
“Trillian! What the hell!” Arthur started, Ford was nodding along, “Why did you blow us off tonight? We were supposed to have dinner together, per your invitation!”
Trillian watched Zaphod leave from the corner of her eye. Coward, she thought. “I didn’t blow you guys off-” she tried to explain, but Ford wasn’t having it either.
“You did, though. You told us table 21, section Beta, and we thought you wanted to talk about something. Turns out, you didn’t even show up, and we had to sit around waiting for you to come. You were obviously here; you just walked on the ship that’s still parked in the parking garage. Why didn’t you do what you said you’d do?” Ford asked pointedly.
“I wasn’t supposed to go meet you guys. I was supposed to meet Zaphod.” Both men looked at her, waiting for her to continue. She felt too embarrassed to admit that she was trying to play Cupid between the two, so she turned it around on them.
“Why did you assume that I was going to meet you there?” She asked. Ford gave her an incredulous look.
“You invited us to that table! You told me,” he raised his voice into a falsetto to mimic her, “Ford, will you meet me tonight at Milliways?” She blinked back at him in response.
“So?” Both men stared at her. She rolled her eyes, “Look, you had a good night, yes?” Both nodded slightly. Trillian smiled and turned away to leave. “Then you have nothing to be mad about!” She left. Ford and Arthur were still upset about her not showing up, but decided that it was no use to keep being angry about it at that moment. They both headed back to their rooms to go to sleep.
When I get up in the morning, I walk over to my chair and press a button. This causes lightning to strike patterned rocks on my desk and display images to me. This, many would say, is impossible.
The rocks not only do my bidding, but convey it elsewhere -- thus without a single spoken word, an individual shortly arrives at my door to provide me with food. This is, many would say, equally impossible.
If I am not hungry enough to eat all the food, I may place it in a cold box for later -- and reheat it with the power of really bright invisible light. This is, many would now insist, absolutely impossible.
The magic rocks also show me images and produce sounds, as I choose, of faraway places in an instant, or of events of the distant past, allowing me to learn from a fascinating cross-section of the population of space and time on planet earth. This, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible.
When my friends send me an image of their cat, I can use a magic rock to capture the likeness of my own cat, and send it back to them, within minutes. This, even if the rest were true, which it isn't, is patently impossible, say the doubters.
These magic rocks have connected the world like nothing before, organizing both fascist movements and protests thereof on unthinkable scales and speeds: a message shared by one individual may be viewed by millions within a day -- even if the individual is not famous, or rich, or previously well-known. This, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane.
So if you've done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off by transitioning your gender?
Does The Guide have an entry on what to do if you're stuck facing a temporal customs officer who will not accept the explanation that the version of you that took the travel bag full of duty free alcohol from Milliways just before you was actually from further in your personal timeline than you are, so he's the one who should have had to pay import taxes on it, not you?
This is a very frustrating dilemma. In the future, we recommend timing your arrival with your departure so that you can say you didn't have it in either the first or second place, or do a quick hand-off.
