Mar 9, 2015
Coochie Cutters, Cocoa Butter
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Coochie Cutters, Cocoa Butter
Mindrun: Friends.
It's a very strange thing to me. Friendship.
On some days, it would be very easy to make friends, talk to people, and keep a conversation.
On other days, I don't even know what friends are.
I'm not the most social guy out there, neither am I anyway special. I have flaws. Huge flaws. Hidden flaws that people find uncomfortable once revealed. I remember a time and place when I could talk to anyone, but now, people tend to ween away from my conversations because I'd rather talk serious stuff rather than small talk. I'm terrible at small talk, anyways. I know it's not particularly a bad thing, however, I do find myself blaming my lack of social skills to be responsible for why someone might not text me back, pick up my call, or approach me at a party. I know well that because of these issues I have with others and myself, my insecurities exist. I know well that by being alone, I can avoid the betrayal of trust. I know well that I don't want to be alone...
Is there something wrong with me? Do I have the right friends? Is it okay to be me? Who really cares? Is it okay to feel this way? Why should I complain when people have it worse than me?
The relationship from human another human is an interesting one. Almost impossible for me to understand.
Almost ambivalent enough to make me miss you.
Mind Run: Acceptance.
I believe truth is a subjective thing. I am a liberal. No, I am not gay, but I support gay rights, and I'll go the extra mile to defend them from hostility. I am ignorant. I am arrogant. I am disgusting. I hate religion. But not those who believe in one. Christian? Good job. Jewish? Cool! Muslim? I love you. Satanist? Teach me about it! Atheist? Lets hang out! No, just because I'm liberal doesn't mean I am atheist. I think war is stupid. Everyone says they hate war, but how many of us really do? I always question whether I really exist. Do I? I always lose in fights with emotion. I'm bad at school. I hate physics. Or my teacher. Or his method of teaching. I am a hypocrit. I want to be a better person, but I make no efforts. I am primitive minded. I can't stand people who are superficial. I fucking hate k-pop. I also hate lady gaga. I feel alone a lot. I hate people who say music is their life because in most cases, it's not. Yes. Yes. No. No. Yes. Yes. My views are merely a perspective. How many of you can really accept that?