#mind splurge

[jordanwitzi]

I shouldn’t be scared of him but I am... Can I trust him?

[paradigm-twist]

I love life, I hate death, be mindful of the power of your actions and words, love yourself, make mistakes, be free from the obligation of other people, love the way you would want to be loved, friends is overrated, let's be BEST FRIENDS, having a brain doesn't mean you don't have a heart, having a heart doesn't mean you don't have a brain, live in the moment, plan your next step,read a book, skip a chapter (IF YOU DARE!!!!!),hate is a choice, LOVE is not an emotion, it is a lifestyle, feel the air, judgement is overrated, let's just say HAPPINESS WILL PREVAIL Don't let others take over your love,or YOUR LIFE

[curley-and-erinaceous]

Year abroad...

French-speaking country: France, Bordeaux (✓) Spanish-speaking country: Somewhere in Latin America, but where?!

[chatonx]

Text|| Gabriel

Binky: You need to stay away from me for the next day

Binky: Promise you'll stay away?

Binky: Please, Gabe.

[fireflyfantasy-blog]

My sister is hours away, settling down to study three years away, and I'm here to stay. I'm so lonely. I've never been apart from her for more than three weeks.

And also, I can feel an on-coming storm inside my head, and I know I have to stop it, but it's roaring and thrashing and it's hollowing me out.

There's a storm coming Mr Wayne, and I cannot seem to batten down my hatches.

[sangimander-blog]

.: There's a Time and Place for Everything :.

I like to think that I support my boyfriend as much as possible. In fact, I know he claims that sometimes I support "too" much (in a loving way, of course). I think so much about the past....the present...and especially the future. Think. Think. Think. It's a blessing and a curse. Sometimes, my "tidyness" and need for planning/organization leads to rigidity and fixation; I've become more flexible in the past, but coupling the plentiful room to become even more flexible and my over-emotional trait creates a kind of conflicting and struggling feeling at times. Specifically, if I am told one thing, I take it to heart and feel discouraged and/or uneasy if it falls through. This is pretty ironic considering many past experiences of people telling me something and then not backing up their word; it's exhausting to be on the receiving end (because nothing is coming that way but disappointment). I guess I'm warming up to the main part of this mind splurge. But first, I need to address this: I trust Nick with all my heart. He doesn't fall into the category of being someone I can't rely on or who I feel disappoints (especially with an intentional manner). His choices are in the best thoughts for not only him, but for us together. So with that, comes this: I found out today that the idea of Nick and I being able to live together/be closer together "physically" will not happen for another year. It first started out with him being with me last summer....but circumstances of school/class availability didn't work in his favor, so he had to move back North. Then, I was told he'd be back winter term (now), but classes he needed to take were not available at one school, so he is currently getting into classes at his secondary school (i.e. community college). I find myself very patient and understanding, and I am happy he is chipping away at his degree and moving on the way he sees fit for his life! Yet, it was honestly hard for me to hear that he has decided to work on a certification that will ultimately help him with his degree in the future, and he could also get jobs based on the certification alone. A big reason for this was money. Money money money....oh school, why must you be so expensive??? He figured coming back to the University early in the year would accumulate a lot of debt due to loans and the atrocious fees put on classes, and there also seems to be more demand for people with skills in the certification he is going rather than the degree. The plan: work on the certification (which takes about a year) and then work on the side to raise/save money to use for school at the university level later on. Again, I am very happy he has been able to find a path he feels more or less confident taking. I know that he had a hard time trying to figure out what to do; he struggled all day today trying to work out the pros and cons to each direction, and then we spent 2+ hours over the phone talking about it. He is such a sweet heart and keeps me in mind. I started getting teary because that's just how I am sometimes...I get worked up with some emotions and can't hold it in, especially around Nick. I was really looking forward to living with him soon and being able to spend more than just every other weekend or so with him. I'm ashamed because some bitterness leeks out...I sometimes wonder how it doesn't seem fair because we've been dating for awhile and can't have this chance while others might have dated for 4 months and they are living together, or dated for 8 months and got married already, etc. I see so much of this around me, and even with more than 2.5 years under our belt, we haven't been able to really secure a next phase. However, there really is a time and place for everything. I love where I am with Nick because it is our time together. We are working towards a better future for each other, and in many cases that means putting off some sooner pleasures, such as long road trips, certain activities (like snowboarding), and, well, living together. I've realized recently that it's not the time but the situation and circumstances that push people to a next step. I still think time should play some factor, but it's not all of it. For instance, the examples I mentioned earlier? Those people either both have pretty stable jobs or one is finishing school, and the other has a pretty good situation in terms of benefits with housing and money (i.e. military). So since they feel secure, they can go on with whatever step they want. With that, I need to be more patient and more understanding, though I am grateful and blessed that God has granted me those traits already. I truly do support Nick, and I know that we'll have our time <3

[sangimander-blog]

.: 2013 :.

see, listen, speak, hear, feel, open, share, learn, read, write, express, respect, appreciate, explore, give in, resist, create, grow, cultivate, sharpen, flourish, love, etc. (light and kindle passion and positive energy into the world!) the things, plus many others, that I will work on in 2013 ♥ Overall message--> develop and embrace into the person that I am meant to become!