#mindofmusic

[ace-la]

I can’t get ready

You blew it, it's over, you lost, you had so many chances, it's no wonder why  your in this position. Even if you tried  you just not good enough, not strong enough, not quick enough to bounce back from this feel that's going to leave a big imprint on your heart and yet it doesn't count or doesn't amount to what you feel and even if you feel it. It don't mean shit to motherf**kers think it ain't real.  So loser deal with this feelin. 

It still will be hard to heal so fast. Sure people will say it won't last. But at this moment why does it hurt so bad. This wasn't just some fad or some phase I was going through in life. This was the highs the lows, the strained the blows, the pain and the strife. Can't stop thinking about "what if". Can't stop thinking about "I could have". But now all I can do is hold my hand in my head and look sad. I wanted to be so bad. Just didn't know how good I had....but this moment it's all I have. Yet I still can't get ready for losing something I could have had. 

But never have. There are no white clouds  No Blue Skies, no sun hit my eyes. Just rainy days with Shades of Grey. It feels like this feeling is here to stay. Wounds so deep its a painful to put myself to sleep in any type of way. Insomnia is the way forbmy soul to break. How much more can the Soul take. Who knew how much life could be at stake, with all the decisions that we make throughout this lifetime we take. Just standing here watching my heart about to break.I just can't get ready My mind refuses to keep a steady pace. Memories and thoughts of flying at a rapid rate. 

Feeling as though I'm in a nightmare that I can't shake. Failures I have to keep reliving because the mind, body, and spirit is in a comatose state. I can't get ready for losing you. I think about you in every way cause I know  the love I have is here to stay. It's making my heartbreak in every way. I can't  get ready for losing you. There are no other words for me to say. But love I have Is here to stay. I just can't....get ready........my won't stay steady.... I will never  be will or ready to lose.........

[ace-la]

I'm not that confident

I'm not that confident. I know how to use it and be it. but I'm not that confident. My courage is always here. But my confidence never stays. I can Sing, dance, cook, and make music but I never want to put it on display becsuse I'm not that confident. I am capable doing so any and every thing I put my mind to in my life that people don't know about me. But I don't have the confidence to show the best part of me. I can be encouraged to do the thing just for the sake of Courage. But to confidently staying in that mode it's a rare occurrence because I'm just not that confident. To socially take a step forward to be me fully. Is the hardest thing for me to do. Because not every part of me should be shown. Those things that I feel are sacred and should be kept under lock and key. Like the heart. Tge ability to love and also the pain Within Me. These are the things that affect the way I think see and feel about my confidence in me. The only to a degree. So now I can proudly say I'm learning to be me. Not letting insecurity, stress, and fear get the best of me. All these trials and tribulations I just test to get the rest of me. So I'll be able to take that Bets and invest in Me. Manifest my greatness is my destiny. So when is time of growth and development I will manifest in me. Not only the courage, but the confidence that will show you the rest of me. That will be the best of me.

[ace-la]

Crimes of the heart and mind

The brain: what have you done?!? how could you be so stupid?!? how could you be so Reckless?!? 

The Heart: I don't know I was in love, love makes you do crazy things. But not as crazy as this thing that I've done. The mess I've created makes me numb. So much so I think about pull that... 

The brain: don't you dare say what I think you're contemplate. Do that and we will end up faster going somewhere we might meet Satan. People already think that we're crazy, weird, strange, and deranged already. I'm trying to carry another burden like this makes us even more heavy. 

The Heart: damn you make it sound like we are Levi in New Orleans during Katrina. Like that one basketball player in Atlanta that run a gun in the arena. 

The brain: we'll look how you acted during this time you made it look like it was a punishable crime. did things that made you look us bad. You did things that made us both sad. You did things that we can't take back. You made the one person that we love hurt and now they won't take us back. 

The Heart: I know that, but you were supposed to have my back. be the voice of reason and keep us on the right track instead you were dormant this whole time.

What happened to all the knowledge we packed? 

The Brain: we were blinded inside track, that you got a attached.  Instead of listening to my reason you fought back. You made me fall back.... Look we can play the blame game all day was it still doesn't change the fact. That our world is crumbling down because we wish we have them back. 

The Heart: well what about us?? We need to get ourselves back to that. To who we used to be. The bond that we used to have. The dynamic team that we had. We used to be one whole person. Now we're just 2 half's. Who would ever want someone like that?? 

The Brain: No one..... So we got to get us back. It's a lot of work we got to put in and it's a long road ahead. In This Moment is hard to think straight. This burden is making us tread lightly. Part of us want to give up. But we need to keep going and so that we can overcome this instead.

[ace-la]

The moment you have all been waiting for is finally here!!! Go check out "Birth of #MindOfMusic" Link in the bio #mindofmusic🎧🎵 #TheLoneWolf🐺 https://www.instagram.com/p/B97EqYgjuff/?igshid=uee76eh5y0qj

[ace-la]

What you all been waiting for. "Birth of #MindOfMusic beatape EP" feats @pmajormontana33 and MiyagiTaughtMe! Out March 19!! https://www.instagram.com/p/B9PT3NjDaO1/?igshid=1nfrizbl1mu8o

[ace-la]

Get Ready and Stay Tuned. #MindOfMusic #TheLoneWolf🐺 https://www.instagram.com/p/B82QUtGjmXI/?igshid=155y9asfhukh1

[ace-la]

(Ace La)

[ace-la]

Back for the first time in a long time. #MindOfMusic #thelonewolf🐺 #StillHere https://www.instagram.com/p/BtjBXWEjx8K/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7s5myptcjegx