My silence doesn't feel golden. It haunts me. Makes me feel uneasy. Letting it mislead me. Gagged and bound from the words and things that would grant me my freedom, my peace, my sanity... But it is, bits and pieces of pain that hurts me randomly. That disappointment, heartbreak, failure, forgetfulness, lack of confidence, these things are not the best brand of me... Sitting here thinking... why people always say they can't stand me??.. when I really need them to understand me... But instead running with the idea of me being... useless, lazy, unemployed, inmature. The person who can't think for themself or deal with their own problems. But yet I always find ways to solve them.... solve for the better and use a wise decision without hesitation... You sit here and think I'm a fool.. but I make those moves that makes me survive and thrive.. Being the best that I can be. Givng you the best of me... Yet, it ain't my best..... I know what my best is... I know what I can achieve... I have went to the highest heights. Climbed the mountains that you've never seen. Done the things that you never dared to dream... Yet you tell me that I ain't the one??... You don't know what I had to bear and what I've had to hide. The hills that I've tried and had to climb. The people the still see me as a burden that they have to hide. So why can't you see what everybody sees??... The problems that you hide inside. The pride that makes you confide in the wrong sides... To choose the wrong decisions,make the wrong steps in passing guides that you take. Its not easy trying to love in difficulty, indifference, unwillingness, rebellion and ignorance.... It creates selfishness, pride, ego, boastful narcissism, anxiety, depression, aggressive regression. Staying stagnant in a state of mind of thinking you are okay and things are going good..... Living in a fantasy of "I still have time" "I'm still young" "I'm doin me". Not knowing that your time is running out and slip it away so easily... I can't be that... I won't let that way of thinking drain me to not move forward and be the best that I can be with: wisdom, knowledge, empathy with a open mind, selfless, assertive progress... Granting access to serenity,booming into a righteous confident beautiful minded complex, balanced individual with limitless opportunity and blessings to share and grow. I watch as everyday around me. My character, presents, essence, vibe, the beautiful mind, spirit who can be wonderfully kind. Is being taken for granted. Do you not know I am a rare thing to find?????... I'm always imitating. but no one that you ever put in front of me will never duplicate the things that you know that make me great, And I'm just saying... This ain't overconfidence. I'm just asking you to name somebody truly like me?? I'll wait....
Make no mistake. A vibe can be great. but a person who makes an impacted on your life in your darkest moments. To pull you up from the depth of despair is a memory that you should always keep safe. Not someone you think that can entertain you for a few hours in the day. No judgment, if that's the way you want to stay. its no wonder why your life can't get underway. Eat,drink, sleep, watch movies repeat. Fuck your life away. when you could be meet, greet, travel, through spring, winter, fall,summer and discover our life beyond the four walls with a bed that only worth leaving stains on because the only thing its good for is for you to bang on with the multiple skanks, skeezers chicken heads, hoes in every area code that you can hang on to..... "Friends" or "BOOs" I guess that's what they called...
It just Me,Myself,& I with my thoughts, dreams, and goals to bring progress and success. Leaving the stress behind and let all hard work, dedication, plus patience, manifest and created motivation. Give my creativity life and longevity restoration.