TF2 MERCS AND WHAT FLOWERS I THINK THEY WOULD GET YOU
Note: every picture here is from pinterest
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TF2 MERCS AND WHAT FLOWERS I THINK THEY WOULD GET YOU
Note: every picture here is from pinterest
Enjoy🩷
🩷💛🩵🩷💛🩵🩷 💛🩵🩷💛🩵🩷💛🩵🩷
Scout: Lego flowers
When he asked spy for some advice on what flowers to get you, the response was to get you something unique that would impress you.
So the most logical thing for Scout was to get you a Lego flower set since the flowers won't wither and you will have a nice decoration that will remind you of him.
Soldier: wild flowers
He saw some dried flowers on the side of the road that reminded him of you.
Gathered a handfull of those and came running to show them to you. Ain't that sweet?
Pyro: crocheted flowers
He spend 3 months learning how to crochet and make them.
Took multiple tries before they turned out perfect and you can tell he poured all his love in them.
Demoman: Generic bouquet
He is sweet and lovable, but in reality, I don't think he knows anything about romance.
Therefore, he will get you the first most basic premade flower bouquet that his eye landed on. Sorry...
Heavy: Something classy
He can be described as stupid by some and terrifying by others, but at heart he is a distinguished gentleman.
He will get you something simple, but delicate.
Engineer: Tea flowers
He is a man that priorities functionality over looks so he will get you a bouquet of different flowers like lavander, roses or chamomile that you can dry and use for tea.
Medic: Also clasic, but bigger
Just like Heavy, he is a gentleman and will get you something classy.
But since he is a very flamboyant guy, Medic will have to show off by getting you the biggest bouquet he could find.
Spy: Something fancy
This motherfucker is an expert in romance and expensive things and so he will go all in by getting you the biggest and most breathtaking flower bouquet you've only seen on Pinterest boards.
Sniper: Handpicked
Another sweety that will bring you a bouquet of handpicked flowers. But Sniper will also add some wild berries he found around because they looked tasty.
What is it like when the mercs wake up in the morning
gn reader pls!!!
ah, i see someone's read my falling asleep with the mercs headcanons!
Waking Up with the Mercs
Contains: fluff, extremely slight sexual content
Scout
Just before his alarm wakes him up he's splayed out on the bed, gangly limbs sticking out everywhere.
If he was cuddling you before, you're probably just curled up against him now.
Enjoy it while you can because once his alarm goes off he's out of bed. It's the first two words of chop suey for him. WAKE UP.
If you're not a morning person then good luck getting used to it. He'll let you sleep if that's what you want but this guy never slows down and once he's out of bed he's just off to the races.
The only exception is on the weekends because that means sleeping in and watching TV and reading comic books.
Soldier
Unless you are also as insane as him he's waking up long before you.
Solly's up at o-dark-thirty, immediately gets dressed, gets a workout aka training in, probably makes and chugs a big smoothie full of protein and vitamins and all. alongside his breakfast of plain toast with nothing on it
or, god forbid, chipped beef. also known as shit on a shingle. I feel like this dude unironically likes it.
Engie and Pyro could be making bacon and eggs for everyone and he'd still eat like he's in the military. Probably has actual MREs stocked up.
You do your thing, he'll see you when he sees you. He'll save you whatever's left in the blender. He actually makes a mean smoothie.
Pyro
Has a habit of sleeping in, but can you blame him? Comfy cozy bed full of blankets, and plushies, and you of course
She doesn't wanna leave! Enjoy the early morning snuggles!
But they're usually on breakfast duty. Eventually Engie will show up to get them.
Pyro is one of the better cooks of the bunch, and also the one in charge of making happy face pancakes for everyone! Can't forget the presentation of the dish!
Those pancakes aren't gonna win hell's kitchen or anything anytime soon but they're happy to see you. A nice little pick me up if you've had a rough night.
Demoman
He's probably hungover, so he's not in a very good mood. That or he sobered up sometime yesterday and the withdrawal just hit.
Whatever the reason, he's gonna stay in bed for a bit. You're welcome to cuddle, but don't speak, don't turn the light on, don't have the blinds open, and don't stop him from sprinting to the bathroom if he has to puke.
And wake him when there's food.
He'll probably want a big breakfast, or his comfort food, shortbread cookies.
He's pretty much never at his best. Least you can do is try not to make it worse.
Heavy
Gets up on time, makes himself a coffee, and reads the newspaper.
Tries his best not to wake you up if you're still asleep.
If you're trying to wake up at a reasonable hour he can help you stick to that. Even if he has to pick you up and set you down at the breakfast table or in the bathroom himself.
If you think you're too heavy for Heavy to lift you are wrong. Yes, even you.
So you're in the shower trying not to fall asleep standing up but hey the hard part's over!
Engineer
Another early bird, but he's gotta make breakfast, so that's why.
He makes sure you don't miss out on that. He'll get you up when the food's ready and on special occasions he'll even bring you breakfast in bed.
Makes really good breakfast tacos. He likes to put the really good salsa verde from Chuy's on his instead of normal hot sauce
Of course, you might not see him until breakfast is ready if he decided to pull an all-nighter in his workshop
Which means you might have to make him go to bed at some point.
Medic
Also has a habit of pulling all-nighters, so expect to wake up to him joining you for a cuddle.
After he's fed the birds, of course.
Thinks you're just the cutest thing ever when you're sleepy. Even if you look like an absolute trainwreck.
Tends to enable your bad sleeping habits, if you have any. He just loves spending time with you so go ahead, sleep in!
He might need sleep even more than you, depending how the night went. Even if you're getting out of bed he will attempt to lure you back with cuddles.
Sniper
Wakes up disoriented and very much looking like an absolute trainwreck.
He'll look over at you and just the sight of you puts him in a better mood.
Grabs a jar as soon as possible you know it's piss time for that man.
Will skip breakfast if you don't hold him to it. He doesn't take the best care of himself but he'll trudge all the way to the kitchen for you, with you.
But first, coffee. Likes it black as night and hot as the outback on a hot summer day.
Spy
He'll ask you how you slept and how you're feeling after last night. (wink)
You're both probably long overdue for a shower. You're welcome to join him, but as the host he'll let you have it first if you'd rather shower alone.
Most complicated morning routine of the bunch. Shower, shave, skincare, suit.
The mask is off during this time, so even if you're not fooling around, it's still an intimate occasion.
He secretly really loves Engie and Pyro's cooking, just let him have his coffee and cigarette with it and don't tell anyone he's smiling back at Pyro's pancakes.
Could you do the tf2 mercs with kinda a smartass reader? Like that they say something that you'd have to look at with a confused expression but when they look back at reader they have this cheeky smile and squinty eyes. Or reader correcting someone like engineer on their craft and reader being right. Theyre obnoxious at it too, they know it and they take advantage of that.
Is that possible?
Tf2 x smartass!reader
Masterlist
Scout is so much fun to write kill me now HE ISSNT EVEN MY FAVOURITE??? LIKE HES MOT EVEN TOP FIVE??? (Still love him though)
• larp final boss
• he just rolls his eyes when you correct him like “huh! Yeah! I knew that! Shut up!”
• gets all in a huff
• THOUGH , he does also stand his ground sometimes and is purposely stupid to see if he can piss you off
• you have been sent from god to personally torment him
• he firmly believes that
• or you made a deal with the devil for only the knowledge you can correct him on
• he straight up gets to a point where he refuses to explain things around you for fear of you correcting him
• LEAVE HIM ALONE HES ABOUT TO JUMP YOU
• has a mix of engineer and scouts reaction
• he gets irritated and embarrassed but he plays it off.
• whenever you correct him on something it’s one of the few times you begin to see him loose his composure because it wasn’t a simple slip of memory
• he GENUINELY didn’t know and that makes him want to shoot himself honestly.
• he takes it a lot better than engineer-
• honestly loves it!!
• if he’s ever unsure of something he does genuinely go to you since it’s easier than flicking through books
• though if you correct him while he’s mid surgery he will just shrug and tell you “I’ll make it work!”
• honestly just sees you as another engineer
may i rq a scenario with any of the mercs where they find reader injured when respawn's down. maybe bc of an accident or an ambush. i like angst as long as its ok in the end
HOLY SAXTON HALE ANON THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME!
This isn't explicitly romantic, but you could definitely interpret it as being romantic if you want! You're def the team's fave <3
Anyways, enjoy about 8400 words of hurt/comfort goodness and the Blu team being pathetic lil meow meow when they think you're dead dead.
Mercs x GN!Reader | Respawn Malfunction
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Hurt/Comfort | SFW | Cw: starvation, temp character death, excess drinking, animal death ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Featuring:
Everyone! Even Miss Pauling is here!
Scenario: During the last few moments of a match, Blu team's Respawn Machine suddenly malfunctions, with you inside! Left reeling by the loss of their Chemist, the team attempts to cope. A week later, Miss Pauling receives a most unexpected phone call...
There had been no warning.
If there had been, then the sharp eyes of RED and BLU’s Engineers would have certainly caught it. Unfortunately, the Respawn Machine had been just as reliable as ever for the entire match, bringing the mercenaries back from the great beyond time and time again, just as it had been designed to do.
Scout and Soldier had just been revived when it happened; the two men taking a moment to shake off the inevitable rush of nausea that came from going through the unholy machine. An Ubercharged Heavy had taken both them and their teammate, Y/N, known officially as the Chemist, out as the hulking giant made a final push to capture one of their points, and both BLU men knew it was only a matter of time before they heard the biting voice of the Administrator informing them of their failure.
Scout scuffed his sneaker against the concrete floor of the Respawn Room as Soldier launched into a furious rant, leaning against the wall as he waited for Y/N to come through, knowing that they'd been killed only a moment after him. He sighed when felt the gentle pulse of the machine as it vibrated like a speaker, getting ready to return his friend to the world of the living.
SKREEEEEECHHHH- BOOM!
A blast of hot air sent the two men crashing into the wall, stunning them momentarily. It was Soldier who regained his wits first, the BLU quickly pushing up his helmet and looking back at the source of the damage in shock and mounting horror.
“Aeughhhh… what da hell just happened?” Scout moaned, one of his hands rubbing against his throbbing forehead. He blinked, his blurred vision slowly clearing, and as he regained his sight, his eyes began to widen.
Respawn was on fire.
Flames licked hungrily at the walls as they spread out further from the Respawn Machine, with the contraption itself bathed in white and blue hues, the intense heat making quick work of what hadn't been destroyed in the explosion. Shards of complex metals and pools of gleaming Australium were littered all over the room, reflecting the light of the fire.
“HOLY CRAP!” Scout yelped, adrenaline coursing through his body as he attempted to scramble up off the floor.
His voice jolted Soldier out of his shocked state, and he shot a hand out to grab the back of Scout's shirt and yank him along as he made for the door.
“Emergency! Cease fighting immediately!” The Administrator's voice boomed out over the battlefield, the old woman's voice sounding more shocked than stern for once.
Scout finally found his footing as he pulled out of Soldier's grip, spinning around to stare at the encroaching flames. Fear roiled in his gut like an angry serpent as his disoriented mind finally allowed the reality of their situation to sink in. Respawn was gone.
Death was permanent once again.
“Private, this is no time to be standing around! We need to go!”
They could die. For real.
“Scout!”
If they'd come through only a moment earlier, they wouldn't have come back at all.
Wait…
“Solly, where's Chem?”
Soldier paused in his attempt to drag Scout down the hall, his gaze snapping back towards Respawn. He hadn't seen them when he'd grabbed Scout, too focused on getting away from the rapidly approaching fire, but he'd assumed that they were right behind him.
“They probably snuck past us! They're sneaky like that.” he replied. That had to be it! Otherwise that would mean they…
Scout looked down the hall, searching for any sign of the Chemist, before looking back towards Respawn, his face paling. He jerked forward, sprinting towards the blaze.
“Chem! Chem, hang on!” Scout yelled, reaching the doorway in only a few seconds, his eyes desperately searching for where his friend could possibly be.
The room was as empty as it had seemed before. There was no trace of the Chemist, alive or dead, to be found in the room.
They hadn't made it through.
“What in the Sam Hill is goin’ on here?!”
Scout wrenched himself away from the door as he heard his teammates gasp behind him. Engineer was up by his side in an instant, his mechanical hand gripping the doorframe so hard it cracked the material. He pushed his goggles up, and Scout could see real fear in the other's eyes.
“Vhat zhe hell happened? Zhe Respavn Machine vas fine only moments ago vhen I came through!” Medic said, pausing as he looked at Scout, who was trembling. Gently, the doctor led the young man away from the fire, “Scout? Are you alright? Vere you injured?”
“Chem’s gone.” was Scout's quiet reply.
“Vhat?”
“They was suppose’ta come through after me ‘n Solly, but Respawn went up in flames before they could come through.” the runner's voice was shaky and hollow, and he leaned more of his weight against Medic as his legs started to feel less dependable than usual, “They're gone. Like, gone gone.”
The gathered mercenaries went quiet, the only sounds being that of the crackling flames and Scout and Soldier's laboured breathing.
“DAMN IT!” Engineer bellowed, throwing his hard hat onto the ground, “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”
Medic closed his eyes, bringing a gloved hand up to his face as a wave of grief crashed down on him. He'd been rather fond of their newest teammate, glad to have someone around who was as interested in risky experiments as he was. The Chemist had often taken up many of the smaller, more neglected duties around the base, such as cooking proper meals and making sure that Medic's less used medical supplies stayed topped up, in case of emergencies. They'd also been of great help in wrangling some of his more… problematic patients, using their charms (or stealth) to herd them into the Medbay for check ups or shots.
He watched them die every day, but this was different. This was permanent. The machine he and Engineer had worked so hard to build, the one that had allowed them to cheat death time and time again, had finally taken its pound of flesh. Y/N had been taken from them, from him, before he'd been ready to let them go.
Now, this usually wouldn't have been a problem; committing sins against both God and nature was something he did quite often and with great delight, and he was sure he could wrest Y/N back from the afterlife, provided that he had access to their body.
And therein lay the problem. There was no body. Respawn hadn't even spat them out half formed or thrown them into the flames, it had simply not reconstructed them. Whatever remained of the Chemist was likely nothing more than a partially formed mist of human remains that had burned up almost instantaneously.
The tenth class was no more, and there was nothing Medic could do.
“Aw, hell,” Engineer gritted out finally, looking back at his teammates with a tired, beatdown expression, “Christ, someone go ‘n track down a fire extinguisher. If we don't get this under control soon, we'll all end up dead.”
Seeing an opportunity to both flee the horrific scene and be useful, Scout ran off like a bat out of Hell, skidding around a corner and disappearing from sight. Soldier, who was being uncharacteristically quiet and still, made to follow him, but Engineer stopped him before he could take more than a few steps.
“Hold on, pardner. I need you to round everyone up and let ‘em know what- what happened.” the southerner swallowed hard, trying his best to push down his emotions for the time being, “The last thing we need right now is to lose someone else because someone did somthin’ stupid and got themselves killed.”
Soldier thought of how often Demo tested his equipment after their daily battles, especially after a loss, and stopped only long enough to give Engineer a salute before rushing off, determined not to lose any more teammates.
“Gott, vhat a mess.” Medic whispered hoarsely, mentally preparing himself for the utter shit show that was inevitably coming their way. The Chemist had been a friend to all of them, even to Spy, who pretended that he didn't care, and losing them was going to be hard on everyone.
Personal loss wasn't something the mercenaries were used to, lulled into a sense of security, of immortality, by the Respawn Machine. After all, why be afraid of death when you knew that you would be back in what felt like only an instant? None of them ever considered that Respawn might fail one day.
“C’mon, Doc. We can't stay here.” Engineer said, leading his co-worker-turned-friend away from the fire.
“Ack!”
You yelped as you tumbled face first out of Respawn, hitting the floor hard and fast. You hissed in pain, pushing yourself up and rubbing a hand over your aching face. Instinctively, you check over the various vials of chemicals you have strapped to your person, praying that your odd tumble hasn't resulted in anything breaking.
A sigh of relief passes your lips as you determine nothing to be out of place or wrecked. You pulled yourself to your feet, stretching and cracking your knuckles. Christ, the RED Heavy must have gotten you good that time, because you felt just awful. Exhaustion made you slouch slightly, and your stomach ached something fierce.
After bracing yourself for the inevitable screech of the Administrator's voice telling you that you had failed, you allowed your eyes to fall open, expecting to see Scout and Soldier's sour faces.
An unfamiliar room greeted you, wooden planks replacing the expected concrete. Dust lingered around the space, and your only company was a chittering raccoon, which startled and ran off upon seeing you.
What the fuck was going on?
“Hell-o?” you called, confusing coloring your tone, “Scout? Soldier? Anyone?”
Silence greeted you. Not even the sound of gunfire and shouting could be heard, only the sound of a fierce wind blowing outside.
Thoroughly confused and more than a little creeped out, you stepped out of Respawn, head constantly swiveling about as you called for your teammates. However, no matter how much you yelled, no one ever responded. No matter how much you searched, you couldn't find anyone. No matter how much you listened, not a soul could be heard.
“What the fuck. What the fuck.” you chanted, rubbing your arms. It was so cold here, and your outfit was designed for the New Mexico heat.
Your breaths came in steamy puffs, and you could feel goosebumps prickling along your arms as you made your way towards what you hoped was the Intel Room. Whatever it was that was going on, you were too tired and too sore to try and puzzle it out. If this was some kind of elaborate prank, you were going to kill whoever was responsible, because the last thing you wanted to deal with after such a rough day was this creepy bullshit.
Finally, after a solid hour of getting lost within this bizarre, wintery base, you managed to find the Intel Room. A phone, blue in colour, sat mounted on the wall only a few feet away. Wasting no time, you dialed the number Miss Pauling had given you to use if there was ever an emergency, or if Engineer and Medic started spending too much time together again. (The last time they'd gone unchecked for too long, the base had become overrun by something they called Spycrabs. It took weeks for you and your team to get rid of them, though you were fairly certain both Spy and Pyro had managed to hide one to keep as a pet.)
“Aperture Bakery, where the cake definitely isn't a lie! This is Tammy speaking, how can I help you?” an obviously fake cheery voice greeted you after only two rings, and you smiled slightly.
“Jesus, Pauling, I think that's your worst ‘wrong number’ persona yet.” you groused, no real venom in your voice.
“...Y/N?” Miss Pauling’s voice suddenly became very soft and disbelieving, something you'd never heard it do.
You frowned, your brow furrowing. “Yeah, that's me, last I checked. I thought you were supposed to call me Chemist, though?”
“Holy shit, you're alive?!” she shouted, the volume causing you to pull back slightly, “How are you alive?!”
“Uhhhhh,” you stammered, completely at a loss as to how you were supposed to respond, “I… I breathe? And eat? And sleep? Jeez, Pauling, I don't know what you want from me here.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line, one that lasted so long, you began to worry Miss Pauling had hung up on you.
“Hello?” you tried.
“Oh! Shoot, sorry, I'm still here! I just-” there was a sound like papers being moved, “Chemist, what is the last thing you remember?”
“Losing the point and getting shot to pieces, why?” Was this a test? Had you already failed somehow?
“Right, yeah, okay that makes sense.” Miss Pauling took a deep breath, and you shifted uncomfortably, sensing that something was wrong.
“Chemist, Y/N, you've been declared dead for just over a week now.”
The phone slipped from your grasp, and it was only years worth of training and quick reflexes that kept it from smashing into the wall. You gripped the phone right, pressing it tightly into your ear as you spoke. “I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right, Miss Pauling. Would you mind repeating that?”
“You were dead, Chemist. Something happened to BLU’s Respawn Machine, and it was completely destroyed before you could come back. I- I don't know how or why it took so long for you to come back this time, but I'm so glad you did.”
You all but collapsed onto the wall, your free hand tangling itself in your hair. You'd died? Like, died for real? The thought made your stomach turn, and you had to suppress the urge to vomit.
“Pauling, Christ, I-” you swallowed, breathing in through your nose, “Is everyone else okay? Oh God, please tell me no one else… died.”
“No, no, no! Everyone's- well they're not fine, but they're all alive. The Administrator called for an emergency ceasefire the minute she saw what happened, and both teams got the message pretty quickly that something was wrong. The ceasefire is still in effect, since everyone needs to be relocated to one of the other base locations.” Miss Pauling replied.
You audibly sighed in relief, tension leaving your body as you uttered a soft ‘Oh, thank God.’ “I think that's where I ended up. One of the other bases, I mean. It's fucking freezing here, Pauly.”
“Shit, you're that far out?” Miss Pauling sucked in a breath through her teeth, “Okay, just- just stay put, alright? There's not going to be any supplies there, so just fine somewhere warm and try not to move too much. I'm going to come get you, okay?”
“Okay.” you replied, smiling slightly as you heard her immediately begin to gather various items on her desk, “Thank you, Miss Pauling. I know you're busy.”
“I'm never too busy for my mercenaries, especially when they manage to defy all logic and cheat death more than they usually do.” a warm, fuzzy feeling settled in your chest at her words, and it remained even after you hung up. There was something so viscerally pleasing about being wanted, about having someone care for you.
Worn out from your return to the living world, you peeled yourself away from the wall and wandered around the base a bit, before locating what had to be the common room. A couch and a few chairs were tucked in around an unlit fireplace. There wasn't anything around to burn, and you didn't feel up to going out to find something suitable, so you chose instead to simply curl up on the couch. Once you laid down, it was as if all of your strength left your body. The aches and pains that plagued you became more apparent, and your stomach growled and gurgled loudly. You were starving, but as Miss Pauling had said, there was no food at the base, and you certainly weren't going to be able to hunt any animals that might be scuttling around.
Resigning yourself to a fitful sleep and an empty stomach, you closed your eyes and pressed yourself in closer to the back of the couch, slowly drifting off into a light slumber.
The BLU base had never been so quiet. It was not a calm quiet, like one might find if they walked into a library, or in a room full of people simply enjoying each other's company while they entertained themselves, but rather a tense, unnatural quiet. A mercenary base with nine men living in it should have been full of noise and movement, but each member of the BLU team seemed more than happy to break away from the norm today.
Engineer was holed up in his workshop, pouring over blueprints, both new and old, determined to find some flaw, some imperfection, some failure, that could give him an answer as to why the Respawn Machine had gone up in flames. He needed to find the problem so that he could fix it. He couldn't leave things as they were; everyone, even the RED team, once they'd found out what had happened, felt unsafe going through any of the Respawn Machines, since no one knew what exactly had gone wrong.
Medic was working himself to exhaustion right alongside him, while also fretting over packing up his birds and equipment on such short notice. They weren't due to rotate out to another base for another month, but the accident had pushed the timeline up to a few days. What's more is that he needed to review the applications for a new Chemist, though he'd been putting that particular task off for as long as possible. He'd never once needed to replace a teammate, nor had he ever expected to. The process of both finding someone who was Respawn compatible and willing to fight and die everyday was an arduous one indeed, and Medic could feel a stress induced migraine begin to come on whenever he even glanced at the paperwork.
Heavy had been trying his best to help Medic prepare for the move, but he, like everyone else, was feeling the effects of their friend's sudden death. He kept expecting to hear their voice coming from the kitchen, or to see them waltz through a door with some manner of bubbling condition held in their arms. Often, he caught himself setting out the supplies for two sandviches, only realizing his mistake when he had plated the food.
Pyro had firmly planted themselves in the Chemist's room, taking special, delicate care to pack up their things into neat little boxes. When Medic had gently floated the idea of reusing their supplies for the next Chemist, Pyro had chased the doctor around the base with their fire axe. There were drawings of the two of them taped carefully to the wall, gifted to the Chemist by the resident firebug, and Pyro left them for last, wanting to keep pretending that they were simply packing up to move like the rest of them. When they'd nearly finished, Pyro noticed that the Chemist's uniforms, which had been folded up on their friend's bed, had mysteriously disappeared. They'd panicked for a moment, before the faint smell of cigarette smoke filtered through their mask.
Sure enough, the clothes were returned the following morning, freshly washed, dried, and without any wrinkles. Any and all holes or rips had been carefully hand stitched with expert precision. There was also a single rose lovingly tucked into one of the pockets on the outfit the Chemist wore most frequently.
Demo could often be found in the company of Soldier, sitting out on some roof or bridge, nursing his tenth or so bottle. Soldier didn't drink nearly as much, but when he inevitably did get drunk, only he and Demo knew about the few tears that would slip down his cheek. Neither acknowledged it, nor the sinking fear of having to inevitably go through Respawn again that sat like lead bullets in their guts.
Scout ran to ignore that same sense of fear and loss, to push it down into the deepest parts of himself. He ran from sunrise to sunset, pausing only when he absolutely needed to. Sometimes, when he would stop, panting and sweating and one small breeze away from toppling over, if he was in just the right spot at just the right time, he'd catch a glimpse of Sniper, tucked away on some far off cliffside or peering down from a tall, rickety building. The marksman hadn't been seen in the base proper since the accident, but he was always around somewhere, watching day and night to ensure nothing happened to his remaining teammates during the ceasefire.
So it was no wonder that it was him who first spotted a frantic looking Miss Pauling as she parked her scooter and dashed off towards one of the base entrances.
Curious, Sniper pushed himself up out of his hiding place, ignored the burning sensation that rippled through his taunt, stiff muscles, and started to make his way down to the base. He didn't make any attempt to soften his footsteps, but he also didn't call any attention to himself. The dark haired woman had been heading for Engineer's workshop, so that's where Sniper went.
Just before he could reach the door that led to the workshop, he collided with someone coming down the hall. He let out a quiet ‘oof’ and stumbled back, baring his teeth instinctively when he saw an expensive suit and steely blue eyes. He calmed, however, when he saw that this Spy was dressed in his team's colours
“Bushman.” came Spy's snide greeting. The Frenchman eyed Sniper up and down, “You look like shit.”
“I could say the same for you, mate.” Sniper sneered back, and he really could have.
There were heavy bags around Spy's eyes, and he smelled as though he'd been absolutely chewing through his expensive, imported cigarettes. Clearly, the man had been coping just as well as Sniper had.
“I'm shocked to see zhat you are no longer wallowing in your mobile hovel, or rolling around in zhe dirt, or whatever it is that you've been doing zhese days.” Spy raised a brow, “What has brought you back to zhis cheap imitation of civilization?”
Now, normally, this would be the point in their conversation where Sniper would tell Spy to not-so-kindly fuck off, but the Australian was running on coffee and will, and Spy was good at getting information. If Miss Pauling’s sudden appearance was supposed to be a secret, then Spy would be Sniper’s first choice for a partner in crime.
“Miss Pauling just showed up lookin’ real frazzled, and I want to know why. I didn't get any alerts or messages, did you?” Sniper asked.
Spy pursed his lips. “Non, I did not.”
Both men's gazes flicked towards the workshop door, and before either could contemplate if this was a good idea or not, Spy had cloaked and Sniper was pushing the door open slowly. A conversation came into earshot as the door opened silently.
“Engie! Thank God you're here!”
“Miss Pauling? What are you doin’ here?”
“There's no time, I need to borrow your truck!”
“Whu- mah truck? What for?”
“Listen, I need to get up North. Fast. And my scooter isn't going to cut it for this trip. Also, I think I might need that emergency dispenser you guys built a while back.”
Sniper's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. Miss Pauling did many things to people, but healing them wasn't something he'd ever heard of her doing.
“Well, now, see that there dispenser is still a prototype. It ain't ready for fieldwork yet- HEY!”
“Sorry Engie! Look, I promise I will bring the truck and the dispenser back, but I really need to get going! If this works, I'll bring back something that will make up for all of this.”
“And just what the hell would that be?!”
“Your Chemist!”
Sniper jolted, his body moving faster than his mind, which was still struggling to understand what he'd just heard. He gripped the guardrails that overlooked the lower floor, arriving just in time to see Miss Pauling putting the pedal to the metal and hauling ass out of the workshop in Engineer's truck. Engineer himself was standing stock still on the workshop floor, hand still raised mid gesture.
A set of hands suddenly grabbed Sniper by the shoulders and spun him around. Spy was staring at him, eyes alight in a way Sniper hadn't seen in a long time.
“Bushman, you can fit at least four people in your disgusting van, yes?” the man asked, squeezing harder when Sniper's mouth failed to make words come out, “Well?!”
“Eh- ur- yeah mate, that's right.” Sniper nodded finally, still reeling from the idea that Chemist might still be alive, “What's it to ya, Spook?”
“Gather up Soldier, Heavy, and Demo. I will take Medic, Scout, Pyro and Engineer in my car. We need to get going immediately if we want any chance of catching up to Miss Pauling!” he exclaimed.
Sniper's eyes widened as he understood what Spy was saying. The Frenchman wanted to follow Miss Pauling, to see their supposedly not dead teammate for himself, and he knew the rest of them well enough to know that if they didn't take them along, then the others would find their own way to them. That, or they'd simply destroy the base if left alone for too long, and Sniper was willing to bet that Spy didn't want to risk Pyro or Soldier destroying his precious suit collection.
‘Still,’ Sniper mused, ‘It’s nice to see that Spook cares about our feelings, even if it is mostly for ‘is benefit.’
“Right, I'll go round up the boys. You focus on snapp’n Engie outta his stupor, yeah?” Sniper agreed.
Spy nodded, and the two separated, with Sniper wasting no time in flying back down the hall. Obsessively stalking- er, observing everyone over the course of the week had granted him a decent understanding of where they chose to spend their time while in mourning.
Heavy and Medic were up first, and Sniper knew exactly where they'd be. With a swift kick, he burst into the Medbay, startling both the pair and all of the birds.
“Augh! Herr Sniper, vhat do you think you're doing, barging in here like-” Medic started, but Sniper cut him off.
“Can it, Doc! Pauling was just ‘ere, and she says Y/N is alive!” Sniper exclaimed. The other two men's eyes widened, and Medic almost dropped the glass beaker he was holding. “She sped off a moment ago, and we're gonna follow ‘er. Spy's taking you, Scooter, Engie and Py in ‘is car, while I'm takin’ the rest.”
The dynamic duo shook off their shock and nodded.
“Heavy will grab Soldier and Demolitions. Leetle Sniper will find Pyro in their room.” Heavy paused, then fixed Sniper with a stern look. “Be very careful how you tell news. Fire starter has… not been taking loss well. May attack, if they think you are playing joke.”
Sniper gulped quietly. “Think we should hold off on tellin’ them why we're really leaving?”
Medic shook his head quickly. “Nien. Zhough it is not alvays apparent, Pyro is quite intelligent. Lying to zhem about zhis will not end well for any of us.”
The marksman winced, remembering the feeling of fire blasting across his skin. “Too right. Okay, I'll handle Pyro, and Heavy’s gettin’ the drunk bastards. Hopefully they can sober up a bit, because I do not want those two sicking up in my van.”
Suddenly, a thought came to him.
“Oh, and bring yer Medigun. Miss Pauling mentioned something about need’n the emergency dispenser, but Engie didn't seem too confident that it would work.”
Medic's face crumpled up in distress. “And he shouldn't be! Zhat machine is just as likely to kill both zhe Chemist and Frauline Pauling as it is to heal zhem.”
“Shit.” Sniper swore, “We better be quick, then.”
The three men scattered, each one going in a different direction. Sniper hauled ass towards the barracks, eyes flicking to the different class symbols that marked each of the doors. He had only ever been here once, but picking out the little blue and yellow picture of a bubbling vial was easy enough.
He skidded to a stop before the door, taking a second to rap his knuckles against the wood before pushing the door open.
Pyro was where Heavy had said they would be, sitting on their friend's neatly made bed, their stuffed Balloonicorn clasped tightly in their grip as they rocked slightly. Pyro tilted their head at Sniper, communicating their confusion at the man's sudden appearance.
“C’mon, matchstick. We gotta get going right quick now.” Sniper panted, motioning for Pyro to follow, “Miss Pauling was just here, and she seems pretty damn convinced that our Chemist isn't as dead as we all thought.”
Pyro stilled on the bed, their masked face staring right into Sniper's soul. The Australian licked his chapped lips, feeling a sense of unease creep across the nape of his neck. After a moment of relative silence, Pyro seemed to find no deception in his words, and quickly leapt up, pausing only to grab their axe and holster it on their back.
“Huddah huddah huddah!” They yelled, voice muffled by the mask. A thick rubber glove suddenly gripped Sniper's vest, and the marksman found himself getting dragged along towards an exit.
Barely able to keep up with Pyro’s quick stride, Sniper stumbled a bit, all but crashing into the firebug when the large door before them slid open.
“Let's go, let's go, let's go!” Scout's voice carried across the desert base as the young man practically flew towards the workshop, clearly having been told the news, “Py, Snipes, let's friggin hustle! We got places to be, ya bunch a slowasses!”
“Piss off, ya bloody roadrunner! We're goin’ as fast as we can!” Sniper shot back, no real venom in his voice. He knew that Scout had been hit hard by the loss of their teammate, especially since he and Soldier had been the last ones to see them. The kid was more sensitive then the rest of them, especially when it came to someone he cared about dying
Scout slowed ever so slightly, just enough to grab ahold of Pyro's hand. The runner and the arsonist took off together to where Spy was waiting, and Sniper deviated off towards his van.
Heavy was already waiting for him when he arrived, the hulking giant holding both Soldier and Demo over his shoulders. The two had clearly had more to drink than usual, because neither of them were conscious. Sniper contemplated waking them for a moment; this was important after all, and he knew neither man would want to be left out of the loop.
And then he considered how completely insufferable the duo would be if they were awake, and he simply nodded towards the back of the van as he moved to sit in the driver's seat.
Heavy joined him a few moments later, and they were off, speeding down a dusty New Mexico road. Spy's expensive, gleaming vehicle was tearing down the same road as them, the light of the gradually setting sun bouncing off the well maintained blue paint job. He'd told Sniper the name once, while also threatening to gut the marksman if he so much as stepped near the vehicle, but Sniper couldn't be bothered to memorize it.
Sniper had thought that Spy wouldn't ever dare go as fast as he was now, what with all the potholes and tumbleweeds around that could potentially damage the Frenchman's precious ride, but perhaps he'd underestimated how much losing the Chemist had weighed on their most elusive teammate. Spy, for all his aloofness, did occasionally let slip the fact that he actually liked his teammates. Sometimes. Rarely. And usually in some strange, hard to interpret way.
He saw Scout's head pop out of one of the backseat windows, and the lad raised a hand to shield his eyes, like he was trying to see something in the distance. He must have spotted something other than desert, because he pointed towards an upcoming side road before popping back inside.
Sure enough, the car skidded around the corner, and Sniper followed, squinting his own eyes in an attempt to see what Scout had been pointing at.
Tire tracks marred the road, ones that hadn't been caused by Spy's quick turn, but that were also very recent. Sniper grinned and pressed harder on the gas, accelerating until he was only a few feet behind the other vehicle.
He'd never had a target escape before, and Miss Pauling wasn't about to make him break that streak.
Cold.
You were so cold.
You'd awoken to the sound of your teeth chattering, the sound only made worse when another wave of ripples inevitably wracked your prone form. Each breath came as a gasping wheeze, catching on the film of phlegm that had made a home in your throat and chest. Your stomach felt almost alive in your guts, spitting acid on your sensitive middle as it growled and snarled and roared for food that you couldn't give it.
You tried to get up, but your body began to shake and wobble dangerously as you began putting pressure on your forearm. Apparently, all your energy had been diverted to shivering in a, perhaps futile, attempt to keep your internal organs from freezing over. Breathing out a puff of warm air, you slid your hands over your chest and stomach, eyes widening as you realized that something was deeply, deeply wrong.
Gone was your well earned muscles and insulating body fat. You felt dangerously thin, like a starved greyhound. Whatever dark magic and science pulled you back from death had seemingly lost most of your fat and muscle reserves in the process. Truly, it was a miracle that you'd been able to walk at all!
You were in a bad spot, and you weren't sure Respawn would be able to save you again, should the worst happen. After all, no merc had ever starved to death before, and you had no idea what would happen if you did.
‘That’s not going to happen.’ You tried to reassure yourself, ‘Pauling will come to get me.’
How long had you been asleep? It hadn't felt like long, but there were no windows in this common room, and it wasn't as though you could rely on your stomach to tell you that a great deal of time had passed.
With little else to do, you lay your head back down on the cold couch cushions, attempting to curl up closer to the plush, velvety fabric. You tucked your arms into your armpits and folded your knees up close to your chest as you shivered once again. You'd lost feeling in your toes and fingers, but you could still, with great difficulty, wiggle them, which you counted as a win. Your eyes slipped shut as you turned your face down towards your chest, nose buried in the fabric of your uniform in a desperate attempt to seek out any scrap of warmth.
Sleep came easy enough, but it was far from a peaceful rest. Nightmares of endless darkness and being reborn wrong plagued your mind. You woke frequently, but exhaustion dragged you back into unconsciousness just as quickly. Each time you awoke, you were reminded of just how hungry you were, and the urge to gnaw at your own dangerously thin arms grew in intensity. Thirst plagued you as well, and each time your failing mind allowed it, you licked desperately at the inside of your mouth, trying to acquire some moisture for your sandpaper-esque throat.
On your next return to the waking world, as you stared out towards the door that led to the hallway, contemplating drinking one of your fatal mixtures, if only to end your suffering and quicken your return to Respawn, a sound echoed out into the lonely building. You lifted your head, blearily squinting towards the door. Had that been real? Or simply an illusion, a trick crafted by your starved brain?
“Chem? Chem, can you hear me?!”
Miss Pauling.
She did come for you!
You grinned, the action pulling at your chapped lips. You tried to call out, but all you managed was a slight cough. Huffing, you flopped your head back down, eyes locked on the door. You knew that she knew where the phone was in this place; there was no way someone like Miss Pauling didn’t know the ins and outs of every place her mercs set up shop in, so it was only a matter of time before she found you.
Sure enough, after a few minutes passed you began to hear footsteps pounding down the hall. It wasn’t the heavy, familiar footfalls of your team, but rather a lighter, quieter sound. A blurry purple figure entered your field of vision, and after your eyes finally focused, you saw a disheveled, red-cheeked Miss Pauling standing before you.
“Hey there, stranger.” You rasped, wincing slightly when you felt hands suddenly cup your cheeks. Pauling’s hands were warm and slightly calloused, and you blinked slowly, leaning into her touch.
“Jesus Christ, Chem. You never do anything by halves, huh?” Pauling laughed, though the noise came out more like a sob.
“Can't. I wouldn't be a very good Chemist if I did, right?” You joked softly, your eyelids drooping slowly as you began to relax, “Things’d be spillin’ all over the place.”
“Woah, hey!” A series of quick, rapid taps against your cheeks made you open your eyes again, “Stay awake, okay? You're in rough shape, but I brought- well, stole but that's really not important- Engie's truck and his little mini dispenser thing-”
“You stole Engie’s truck?” You interrupted, voice tinged with a sense of horrified awe, “He's gonna kill you.”
The raven haired woman gave you a half smile as she reached an arm under you, pulling you up to your feet to stand beside her. Your vision swam, and you had to lean heavily into her.
“I think bringing you back will soften him up a bit.” She said, looping your arm around her shoulders, “Come on, let's get you to the truck. You look like you're about to pass out.”
“I might.” You admitted. “Got anything to eat? I'm starving.”
Miss Pauling glanced over your emaciated form. “That… actually might be the case. When Respawn brings someone back, it usually leaves them feeling a little bit drained, and it's why you're all so hungry at the end of a battle. Respawning takes energy, and I'd say this last trip took almost all of yours. It ate right through your fat and muscle reserves!”
“Ah,” You replied, “I was afraid that might be the case. What happens if I Respawn again?”
“It's… it's probably best if we don't test that out.”
The two of you walked through the base in silence after that, with you leaning heavily on Miss Pauling for support. She didn't seem to mind, however; though you often caught her casting worried glances at you. You felt the temperature in the air steadily drop as you reached the entrance to the base, yet you were still caught off guard when a chilly blast of wintry air smacked you in the face. Snow swirled all around you, coating the base and battlefield in white. The first rays of an early morning sunrise were just starting to peak over the horizon, giving you enough light to see by.
In the distance, you could see Engie's truck, the blue vehicle standing out amidst the white. However, something seemed… off about the truck. You squinted, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Hey P, did you bring a… a dog with you?” You mumbled, tilting your head at the canine shape that stood in the headlights.
“What?” Miss Pauling looked confused for a moment, before she, too, saw the creature. “What is… uh oh.”
“Uh oh? Why uh oh?” You questioned, before taking a closer look at the dog, which was now slowly moving towards the two of you.
Oh.
Uh oh indeed.
It wasn't a dog.
It was a wolf.
The beast was huge, with a thick, ungroomed black coat and amber eyes that glowed a bright, golden color in the early morning. It growled as it approached, and you could see saliva frothing at its mouth.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” You balked, stumbling as Miss Pauling pulled you both back, “A rabid wolf. Why not!”
“How did it even contract rabies all the way out here?!” Miss Pauling yelped, quickly drawing her pistol. You eyed the small gun, wondering if she could aim well enough to shoot the hulking animal with your dead weight hanging off her.
Left with no other options, you weakly pawed at your coat, trying to locate something that could help you fight off the rabid beast. You had all the ingredients needed to make something truly dangerous, but if you tried to mix them now, you'd just as likely make something that would kill you before the wolf could.
Grabbing something that would at least blind the animal, you braced yourself as best you could, ready to try and help Miss Pauling fight.
“INCOMING!”
You, Miss Pauling, and the wolf all turned your heads as one, eyes widening when Sniper's van suddenly emerged from the snowstorm like the chariot of an angry Australian god. The vehicle slammed into the wolf, sending it flying out of sight. A few seconds later, an expensive looking car skidded to a stop a few feet away, one of the back doors opening before the car could even fully stop.
Scout came barreling out first, slipping on the snow and ice as he tried to regain his balance. Sniper, Heavy, and Spy followed suit, with the other's appearing behind them. They all looked absolutely horrendous; their eye bags had eye bags, Soldier and Sniper clearly needed to shave, and none of them were even remotely dressed for the cold weather of the north.
But they had never looked better to you.
Scout spotted you first, and you hardly had time to blink before the Bostonian was upon you, yanking you out of Miss Pauling's hold and into his arms.
“You're alive! Holy crap you're alive!” Scout cried, spinning you around and pressing his face into your shoulder.
Pyro joined you next, the arsonist all but smothering both you and Scout as they sobbed. You patted their back, leaning into their warm suit, attempting to leech their abundant body heat.
Before you could get a word out, a fierce yell startled you into a defensive stance. Suddenly, you were being held up by your armpits and being shook like a maraca.
“DO NOT PULL SUCH A STUNT AGAIN, MAGGOT!” Soldier yelled angrily, but you caught a glimpse of wet eyes under his helmet, “IF YOU DIE LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY RIP YOUR YELLOW-BELLIED SOUL RIGHT OUT OF HELL!”
“Sol, put them down, consarnit!” Engineer chided, smacking Soldier in the side. Once the helmeted man set you back down onto the ground, Engineer pulled you into a warm, firm hug, his flesh hand coming to rest on the back of your neck.
“Hey Engie.” You murmured softly, “Don’t be mad at Miss P, okay?”
“Buddy, ah’m gonna be treatin’ her to a steak dinner after this.” he chuckled, before gently passing you over to someone else, “Here, Demo. Be careful with ‘em. They ain’t lookin’ too good right now.”
“Aye, ya look like shite, dont’cha?” Demo laughed softly, gently ruffling your hair before pulling you into a hug, tucking you under his chin. “Ah, I’m glad yer alright. Ye gave us a right scare, ya wee bastard!”
“Sorry.” You chuckled, leaning into his chest. Demo patted your shoulder, before you were released and spun around to see Medic, Heavy, Spy and Sniper. While Heavy lifted you up into one arm, Miss Pauline began questioning how the mercenaries had found out where you and her were.
Medic descended upon you like a mother hen, fretting about the poor state you were in while simultaneously raving about the unexplored limits of the Respawn Machines. He plucked a few tablets out of a bottle in one of his coat pockets, instructing you to swallow, not chew them as Sniper handed you a well worn thermos. It was warm, and when you opened the lid, the smell of coffee hit your nose. A quick sip revealed that it was made just how you liked, which made you smile, because it meant that the usually unsociable marksman had gone out of his way to make the drink specifically for you.
“Here, mon ami,” Spy strode forward, a blanket draped over his arm. He wrapped it around your shoulders gently, tucking it in tightly, almost like your parents would do for you when you were small, “this should warm you up a bit.”
The tenderness of your usually tough, rowdy teammates made you sniffle, and you snuggled in closer to Heavy, clutching your thermos.
“I love you guys.” You said, your voice wavering with emotion, rather than cold this time, “Seriously. I- there isn’t a better team out there.”
Your praise made the gathered men puff up slightly. It was clear your opinion mattered a great deal to them.
“Hell yeah! We’re da’ freakin’ best!” Scout shouted.
“Leetle Chemist is included in that.” Heavy added, and you blushed slightly.
“Heavy is right, mein Chemiker.” Medic agreed, “Jou have cheated Death more zhen anyone else before jou! It is truly amazing!”
“I don’t feel amazing.” You said, quickly sipping the offered coffee.
“Vell, you are severely malnutritioned, so I am not surprised.” Medic replied. “Ah, don’t drink zhat so fast. Jou’ll just zhrow it back up.”
Once the word ‘malnutritioned’ passed the doctor’s lips, you could practically hear Engineer’s ears perk up. You were sure many home cooked meals with Engie in his workshop were in your future.
“Come on, mate, let’s get em’ outta the cold, yeah?” Sniper suggested to Heavy, gesturing towards his van. Spy snorted.
“Please, you want to have our dear Chemist rest in zhat thing? The last thing zhey need is to be surrounded by piss and crocodile jerky.” he snarked, which drew a disgruntled sneer from Sniper.
“Oi! My van is perfectly clean, and its leagues bettah than your dinky lil’ car! You just wanna hog all their attention ‘cause you’re a needy, selfish buggah!” Sniper shot back.
Heavy sighed deeply as the two men started arguing, before looking down at you.
“Heavy thinks it would be best for leetle Chemist to ride with Engineer in his truck for now. Team is very excited you are alive, and this makes them act-” the two of you winced as Soldier started yelling again, “more like loud idiots than usual, да?”
“At this point, big guy, I’d welcome the noise.” You admitted, “It was… quiet here. And lonely.”
Heavy looked at you with a saddened expression. “How long were you alone for?”
“A… a day, I think. It was hard to tell, since there were no windows.” You glanced over in the direction the wolf had been flung. “Honestly, that might have been for the best, considering what was waiting out here for me and Miss Pauling when we finally got outside.”
“Was wolf, yes? Heavy could not see very well, but it looked like wolf.” The heavy weapons expert said as he started off towards Engineer’s truck.
“Yeah, it was a wolf. A rabid one. You guys showed up just in time. I was afraid it would get close enough to bite us.” You shivered, pulling your blanket in closer.
“Miss Pauling would not have allowed that. She is small woman, yes, but very fierce.” Heavy paused for a moment, looked over at Scout and Soldier, who were talking to Miss Pauling, then leaned in to whisper: “She is better shot than some of the team. Do not tell them I said this.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t say a word.” You winked as Heavy gently set you down in the passenger seat, careful not to jostle you. The seat was still warm from the heater, and you relished in it, almost not even noticing when Engineer slipped into the driver’s seat next to you.
“Buckle up, darl’.” He grinned, reaching to pull the seat belt over your chest.
“Thanks, Engie.” You returned his smile and lay back, resting your head against your seat belt.
As you got comfortable, you noticed that the truck had an extra few passengers. Pyro waved to you from the back as both Soldier and Scout climbed up into the bed. Both men looked visibly cold, but they stubbornly plonked themselves down, dead set on staying near you. Just in case.
Spy and Sniper finally stopped squabbling when they realized that you were no longer around to fight over, and both slunk back to their respective vehicles as Engineer started up his truck. Miss Pauling and Medic followed Spy, while Demo and Heavy trailed after Sniper. Knowing your team, there would be another fight the second you all stopped for gas or food, likely over who you should sit with for the rest of the drive back. Honestly, it was like being back in school, surrounded by a friend group of mentally ill lunatics who fought like spoiled dogs for your attention.
You wouldn’t change a thing. You were, after all, just as needy and clingy as the rest of them, and you knew you’d be even more desperate to be near someone all the time, afraid to be back in that horrid silence.
How wonderful for you, then, that you had 8 men, 1 woman, and 1 Pyro who would be more than happy to indulge you.
hello is this mcdonalds?
great! can i order sick headcannons with the mercs (reader is the sick one. idk how else to clarify that)
okay coolio bye then
-apple anon ✌️
haha imagine being sick. enjoy covid, apple :)
(disclaimer, i'm not mean to anyone else. I just know apple IRL.)
When you're sick - headcanons
All the mercs (+ Ms. Pauling) x G/N reader
(I added Pilot because pretending my OC is a canon character is fun.)
Fluff
Scout:
Ok, let's be honest, you aren't getting a lot in terms of anything genuinely helpful to your health.
He'll sit at the edge of your bed and keep you company, rattling off about his day or the current happening around the base.
He lived with seven older brothers, thus naturally developed a pretty good immune system. He'll snuggle with and kiss you all over. He'll get under the covers, too. He's taking a nap there. You don't get to kick him out. Here's there forever now.
Will get you a juice or something, but don't expect him to get you anything you'd need to cook.
Soldier:
Sick?? You shouldn't be sick!! It's those damn communists contaminating the water supply, he swears by it.
Nonetheless, he will be sure to stay by your side and give you an honorable burial if you were to perish. Not that you will! You're a strong american man (regardless of your nationality. or gender. just go with it, it'll make him happy.), and he knows you'll pull through.
Stands at the foot of your bed doing surveillance. You're at your most vulnerable, so he has to keep watch!!
He cannot cook. Good lord he cannot cook. He'll try though for you, but you better expect it to taste or look horrible.
Pyro:
Will prance to your room, move all of their stuff in there, and have sleepovers with you until you're better.
They'll color with you, bring you snacks and treats, and spend a lot of time with you in general.
They don't really get sick themself, partially due to wearing the mask all the time, so they don't know exactly how to take care of you on the practical side of things, but they'll grab you anything you want if you ask them!!
Demoman:
He knows a lot about being sick. Mainly due to hangovers, but he's pretty experienced in terms of getting sick, so he knows what to do in a lot of cases.
He's making you a hot toddy if your throat is sore. (He's making one for himself too.)
Will offer a bunch of weird remedies that he swears by, which only a handful usually work. His eagerness to help you out usually wins over you though, so you end up trying them.
Heavy:
I think he would be one of the best to care for you. He took care of his family when he lived with them (and still visits!), so he'd for sure know exactly what to do for you.
Makes a mean soup. It's his mother's recipe, so you better compliment it.
Can and will pick you up and carry you to other rooms if you want a change of scenery. He doesn't much care about getting sick himself, and he can usually power through it if it spreads to him, so don't worry about giving him your germs. Just don't kiss him or anything, he's not that interested in getting sick.
Will take you to Medic if he thinks it's getting bad.
Engineer:
Okay, this might be a controversial take, but I think he'd be absolute dogwater at taking care of you.
MAN CAN'T EVEN GET UP FOR A GLASS OF WATER FOR HIMSELF IF HE'S WORKING, AND YOU EXPECT HIM TO TAKE CARE OF A WHOLE 'NOTHER PERSON???
Okay, he'll try.
He'll talk to Medic to see what can be done for you, might move some of the stuff he's tinkering on so you can spend time with him if you want, He might make you a snack if he has the time, but probably not much more than that.
He genuinely cares about you, but he doesn't exactly have the resources or time to be with you the whole duration of your sickness.
Medic:
Sick? Under his watch? Impossible. The second you start showing symptoms of anything, no matter how small, he is testing you for everything under the sun.
Be prepared to spend ninety percent of your time in the medbay, because he's running tests on you like there's no tomorrow.
Will give you so many pills or random liquids to down, and not tell you what a single one does.
He's definitely giving you a remedy of his own invention that may or may not be banned in multiple US states.
Sniper:
Now this is a man who can take care of you when you're sick.
He has a lot of knowledge on how to help, because his mother would always talk about what she was doing or making to help him feel better whenever he was sick growing up.
He knows (and can probably cook) whatever meals will help get your energy back, he knows what medicine to get from Medic, and he'll do his best to make you all comfy cozy.
He'll probably call his parents if he doesn't know what to do in a specific case, as he doesn't really want you spending too much time in the medbay. It's just overly sterile and serious in there, and he knows that a comforting atmosphere can be better for trying to recover from being sick.
Spy:
He will reluctantly bring you a few things, but do not expect him to spend time with you.
He is wearing a facemask when entering your room, giving a brief greeting while bringing you food or something, and leaving. If you ask him to stay, he will not.
I feel like he would have mildly germaphobic tendencies, just based on how clean he tries to keep on a regular basis.
The only reason he even bothers to bring you anything is because he thinks you're the least annoying and wouldn't survive being around everyone else if you died.
A little melodramatic, but he's got the spirit.
Ms. Pauling:
Let's be honest, she wouldn't have the time to take care of you.
She'll make an effort to tell the others to make sure you're doing okay and are fed and given proper care, but she probably won't be able to do anything past that.
WE STILL LOVE HER THOUGH.
Pilot:
Pilot is a little bit of a mess, but will try his best.
He usually makes food for everyone when nobody wants prepackaged meals, so he's got quite a bit of soup-making experience.
Is the comforting king. Will let you lay your head in his lap and sleep while he reads or writes. Will gently play with your hair if you want him to.
He'll get you a ginger ale and swear that it helps. It tastes good, but it's unclear if it actually helps with nausea or a sore throat.
Let him kiss you. He will get so sick, but he wants to kiss you so bad. He doesn't care that he's getting your germs, he just wants to comfort you.
---
my Kofi if you'd like to tip me!
headcanons on how the mercs would react to giving reader a belly bulge ?
is my size difference kink apparent with this ask
gn pronouns with afab reader if possible
a/n: ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVEEEEEEE. Heavy, Engineer and Demoman for now, But I'll probs do the rest soon!
Heavy, Engineer and Demoman reaction to a belly bulge.
Heavy
❥ Heavy already knew this would happen. He knows his side and he knew that he was going to cause a bulge. ❥ But fuck was it different to actually see...Seeing your smaller frame struggling to take him sent him wild. ❥ The two of you finally had time alone together after the busy schedules the two of you had. You were an assistant to the administrator and you finally had time to be intimate with your partner. ❥ You didn't want him to be gentle either, despite the eyebrow raise and his concern for you.
"are you sure about this? I do not want to hurt you." "Mik...baby, after the day I just had..I need it."
❥It would boost his ego a little more, even though he knows he'd cause one. ❥"You take it so good. Tell me how good it feels for you." ❥ definition of size kink just has a picture of heavy beside it lmao-
Engineer.
❥ Talk about a man nearly about to lose his shit-. ❥ Engineer likes to be very intune with you when it comes to sex, he like to ask you if you alright and make sure you feel as good as he is. ❥ You would bring it to his attention, moving his hand to feel the lower part of your stomach. ❥ he would feel it and look down, before a deep groan would leave his mouth. He wouldn't be able to control himself.
"S-shit..look of you darl'..look at that..shit.." "takin' my cock like you were made for it.."
❥ Oh yea, be prepared to be fucked silly by him so he can see it more. Bottoming out repeatedly so he could hear your moans and feel how deep he could get inside you. ❥ Definitely leans into the breeding kink this man has, even if he can't get you pregnant he is going to make sure you feel full of him.
Demoman
❥ Another one that would boost his ego. ❥ He wouldn't notice it at first, he knew he was pretty big compared to you. and he would chuckle as he watched you struggle to walk or sit down the next day after the two of you go at it. ❥ It would be one day you would be riding him, his hands would be on your hips, running them across your lower stomach as he would buck up into you. when sudden he would stop. ❥you were confused at first until he runs his hand along the bulge, moving slowly so he could see it move. ❥ It unlocked something in his mind, suddenly you would find yourself on your back, and Tavish would start moving faster than he ever did before, On top of getting to hear your sweet sounds he got to see what it did to you.
"seeing me..so deep in you..hope you don't have anything planned.." "Cause i'm not lettin' ya up from this bed.."
Hi everyone!! I missed writing for you all!! I apologize if this is not as good as my previous writing as i am trying to get back into the swing of writing! Enjoy!!
Can i request some tf2 headcanons of some of the mercenary boys (it can be anyone i dont mind and i honestly have a hard time pick also i dont know if you have a character limit)developing a crush on someone from the enemy team(reader), who found the respective merc injured in a corner, and instead of finishing them off they hand the merc a nearby health kit and just tell them to be safe before running away. Hopefully that's something you'll do and thanks for letting me request! I really like your writing style and your little art doodles are always a pleasure to see!! Thanks again byebye hope you have a good day!
╰﹒ARE YOU FALLING IN LOVE?
General Red/Blu Engineer, Sniper, Spy headcanons/short
• genre: romantic
• a/n: Hey! Sorry for the super late answer- this was just kinda stuck in my draft so sorry for that! ( >_<) Also, glad to hear you enjoy my doodles :) also i like your idea, it actually reminds me alot of how i potray my verison of reader so that may have made me a little carried away while writing this- And yeah, i apologize if my rules aren't very clear, the character limits are around 3-4!
Engineer
Dang nabbit!
That stupid snake spy was up to it again. Sapping his buildings and hiding like a coward. A few fragments of the broken sentry manage to crash on his leg when he tried to fix it but it suddenly exploded likely due to misconception in the system.
Engineer groaned as he try to remove the metal off him which only resulted more pain to his crushed leg. Earlier on, the spy was able to land a few shots which he was able to barely survive from by pretending to be dead.
He was seriously going to get back at him at the next round. He vowed and began forming some sinistrous plans mentally as he still tried getting back up again.
As he looked around the surroundings, his eyes snapped to the health kit nearby. He knew it's hopeless at this point, but he tried just once again to reach it.
Suddenly, the sounds of distant shouting caught his attention. He looked at the corner where the noise was coming from and froze, hearing footsteps and a shadow coming closer to where he is.
Engineer could only stare, taking out his pistol and ready to give his best.
He was about to shoot when he sees your head peeking out the corner and the two of you lock eyes.
You gasped faintly, retreating back your head again, making engineer drop his gun down a little. For a while he only observes, expecting you to pop out again and this time with a weapon.
To his surprise however, you only slowly came closer with your medi-gun and stood infront of him, this made him distracted and you looked to the side seeing the health kit. He also look at the direction you were looking and then you two look back at each other.
You walked towards the kit and picked it up and came close to him as he watches closely, loosely letting the pistol down. You kneel down beside him and handed him the health kit, to which he can only gawk at for a moment before accepting it. You then peer at the metal scrap crushing his leg and motion to him to push it off while you try to lift it up.
At last, with some struggle, you succesfully were able to remove the scrap off.
He thanked you, feeling certainly grateful for your aid. You only smiled and nodded making engineer blush. Then you stood back up, picking your medi gun and gave him a final glance and a wave on your way back to outside.
He can only gaze at your frame leaving, still blushing and thinking about what just happened even while fixing himself up.
Sniper
Ah, piss.
Sniper was so close on pulling the trigger on a enemy's head when he just had to be shot a few times near his chest and shoulder by another sniper.
Now he's currently sitting on the floor, unable to really move due to his wounds. The medic is obviously too busy and far from his spot so all he could do for now is keeping his guards up while trying to ease the pain with some bandages he had.
As he's paying close attention to the ongoing battle, His eyes landed on you emerging from behind a rock, healing your team's scout with your medigun while charging forward.
Now his interest shifted from the enemy's fighting to just paying attention to you instead. He'd seen you time to time through the scope but usually you'd stay behind as extra help. He wasn't sure why sometimes when he aims for you, he'd hesitated. It's almost somewhat wrong.
His thoughts were interrupted by the stinging pain in his shoulder as he groan and lean closer to the wooden window. Suddenly your team soldier's shout rang aloud alerting about his presence.
Sniper panicked as he push himself far away from the wooden window, hearing fast footsteps rapidly approaching his spot. He took his kukri and prepare himself to fight.
Shortly to his surprise though, only you were the one who came. He was really close to attacking─ yet there it is again. The odd hesitating feeling. While being confused with his own choices, you took the medkit you found just outside and offered it to him. While you only smile, sniper is left dumbfound. By the fact that you're not trying to kill him here and there, but also because he did not notice there was even a health kit literally sitting feets away from him.
As he took the kit from you to heal himself, you also proceed to use your medigun to slightly fasten his healing process before you hear your name being called. You call back to them, confirming that you're okay. You gave him a wave and a warm smile before you quickly ran out to your team.
Sniper only sat down there at one of the crate boxes as he proceed the aimless thoughts in his mind about this encounter with you. Well, atleast now it seems like he knows the reason why he's so hesitant to hurt you.
Spy
Oh it's just perfect.
Spy sighs deeply in annoyance as he sat down in a corner with his burnt leg, arm and wounded stomach. His broken Invisibility watch in his hand as his attempts on turning it back on didn't work as it only let out a few sharp electric sparkings.
Great. His invis watch is broken and he is still in the enemy's section with the high possibility that anyone could easily figure out where he is. He feels oddly dreadful about this whole situation as he imagined the worst scenario that could happen in his mind.
It was all oddly quiet at first before he heard a few distinct voices and footsteps passing by. He tries to focus more on where the steps are heading to so he could escape before they caught him first.
He feels rather confused and irritated by the random noises and constant back and forth steps, combined with the pain he's feeling makes him want to just scream but he holds back. He takes deep breath and stood up and accidently hitting his wounded arm which he let out a yelp before he shuts himself up.
It was too late though. He heard some yelling and a brief talk before he hears footsteps once again. He tries to get away but it seems like he was not fast enough as by then, you appeared by the entrance.
You two stared at each other for a moment before he took out his revolver and aim it at you, but you quickly shot it away with your syringe gun.
Spy only looked at his hand then at you in shock. And he realizes that he's basically helpless at the hands of the enemy now.
So close to accepting this defeat, he stumble back and sat down with a tired and dejected look, closing his eyes.
Instead of a quick shot in the head, he felt something being dropped on his lap and a sudden soothing sensation enveloping his body. Confused, spy opens his eyes to see you standing infront of him, using your medigun on him and a healthkit on his lap. He's left baffled by this and was about to ask just what you were doing but you only shush him by nodding softly.
So the two of you only settled in silent as your medigun continue to help speeding up the process. He decided to take out another cigarette, placing it in his mouth and was about to light it up, but he wasn't able to find his lighter anywhere. Just then a lighter reached near his face and lighten the cigarette up for him. Your face was close to his, with the flame illuminating the small details on your face as he stares at you with wide eyes.
Even when you pulled away, spy was still stuck in daze for a moment before he blushes in embarrassment at the gesture. Thankfully you weren't able to see his face with that mask.
He cleared his throat and thanked you in an almost sheepish manner and you smiled in return, giving him a thumbs up. Then you used your syringe gun and shoot at one of the empty bottle laying around before you wink and walked out hurridly.
REBLOGS/ FEEDBACK/ COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED!
@redamoureux
S/O Who Flinches Often
Words: 455
Request: Omg hiiiiii!!! I’m in love with your blog at the moment and was wondering if I could send in a request for tf2? Where m!reader (is that how you do it?) just flinch’s a lot a lot, say when you start a conversation, when you touch their shoulder ect and it’s due to a bad experience with maybe a ex or their parents with different mercs (?) like for spy it’s ex and for sniper it’s parents? (If it’s okay to ask I was wondering if the characters could be medic, engi, spy and sniper? Of course if that’s too many then sorry) make sure to drink water enough and have a good day/evening/night byeeeeeeee!!!! Requested by: @vxnom100
This can be read as gender neutral as I couldn't really fit the male part into it, although Spy uses 'beautiful' once
This man was kinda baffled when you first flinched, he had just brushed his hand across your back while walking past, he watched and felt you flinch.
Tries to brush it off as “You have such sensitive reflexes! No wonder I never need to heal you.” Though this causes him to watch you even closer now.
Is so cautious when approaching you now, as if you’d go running off when you see him. It’s weird, but also somehow respectful? In his own way…
But eventually he’ll corner you in the infirmary, making sure you know that he knows, how much he has been watching you. And that you can come to him for almost anything, once again keeping a careful eye on you.
Look, he wasn’t the kind of man to go around startling people, he didn’t even like it. So when you flinched as he lightly tapped your shoulder, he froze.
Apologizes to you every time it happens, making sure you realise it wasn’t on purpose. “Sorry there darl.” “Didn’t mean to scare ya’ there.”
He is a smart man, we know this. So quickly he started changing his tactics when it came to approaching you. Calls your name, walks, talks and even puts things down louder than normal.
Soon enough it’s very clear when it’s him coming up behind you, he makes sure of it.
He only meant to get your attention for something, opting to reach out while saying your name. Almost offended when you jerked away, not that you would notice.
“Ah… I’m sorry, beau. J'aurais dû le voir...” Being in his job for as long as he has, he understands and expects people to flinch, but when you do? It silently breaks his heart, he never expected it from you.
Does his best to comfort and assure you, this comes in words and actions.
Being noticed isn’t his strong suit and he’d rather not, but for you he calls out your name, tapping the walls and doors.
He was never the touchy type of man, but the first time you flinched when he simply said your name, it was like a punch to the gut.
Anyone could notice the shift in his voice, suddenly becoming slightly softer but loud enough for you to hear him.
Really treats you like a skittish animal, no more sudden movements, no raised voices. If you ever apologise he tells you that it isn’t your fault, “It aint your fault love, you deserved much better.”
Never pushes you to talk or anything, but he always leaves the option open to you. Leaving cups of coffee or anything else you drink, a small nod of acknowledgment when you meet his eyes. Nothing that pushes your limits.





