do you have any posts abt decentering your life from men? i think i rely on male validation wayyyyyy too much lol. love your content btw ✨
✧˖° how to stop centering your life around men (because you have way better things to do)
(a guide to decentering men, breaking free from male validation & making yourself the main character for real this time)
so you’ve noticed it... the way your mood shifts depending on whether or not he texts you back, the way your confidence is high when you’re getting attention and low when you’re not. maybe you catch yourself subtly performing when guys are around, or maybe you find yourself molding into the kind of girl you think they’d want.
and honestly? same. we’ve all been there. society trains us to believe that being wanted is the ultimate achievement, that our worth is measured by how desirable we are to men. but that’s a lie. your life was never meant to revolve around them. you were always meant to be the sun, the main event, the entire storyline.
i really hope this post can help you understand you were never meant to revolve around them. love you - mindy
✧˖° step one: start seeing them for what they actually are
listen, it’s time to be so for real with yourself. ask: do I even like this man, or do I just like the attention? do I actually think he’s interesting, or do I just want him to think I’m interesting? do I want him, or do I just want to be chosen?
because half the time? the men we obsess over are painfully mediocre. and yet we assign them so much power. letting them dictate how we feel about ourselves, letting their validation (or lack of it) determine our worth.
take a step back. stop romanticizing them. start seeing them as human beings. flawed, regular, not the prize. the real prize? is you.
✧˖° step two: detox from male validation (yes, a real detox)
you don’t realize how much male validation fuels your self-worth until you cut it off. so let’s go cut. it. off.
for the next month, no:
dressing for male attention (dress for you instead).
posting just to see if he will like it.
checking who watched your stories.
replaying conversations to see if you sounded cool enough.
instead, every time you feel the urge to seek male validation, replace it with self-validation.
take pictures just for yourself.
romanticize your own opinion of you.
remind yourself that your value doesn’t shift based on their perception of you.
✧˖° step three: become the most interesting person you know
a lot of us center men in our lives because we have nothing else filling that space. so fill it. with things that actually excite you.
start a niche hobby that makes you feel alive (pottery, screenwriting, blogging (girlblogging to be exact), literally anything).
go to cafes alone, sit in the prettiest spot, and enjoy your own company.
build your dream life piece by piece, your wardrobe, your routines, your vibe.
when you’re truly obsessed with your own life, the need for male validation just… disappears. because suddenly, you’re so content, so full, that their attention feels like an afterthought.
✧˖° step four: unfollow the pick-me content (yes, even the guilty pleasure stuff)
what you consume matters. if your feed is filled with “how to make him obsessed with you” content, if you’re constantly absorbing media that glorifies male attention, you’re subconsciously reinforcing the idea that men = purpose.
so let’s cleanse. unfollow the pick-me content. mute the male gaze influencers. instead:
fill your feed with confident, self-sufficient women.
read books by powerful women who own their narrative.
watch movies where the female lead’s story isn’t about a man.
you are not the supporting character in a man’s story. start consuming content that reminds you of that. you are a goddess, an angel, the main character of YOUR story! please remember that <3
✧˖° step five: enforce the highest standards (with zero guilt)
decentering men doesn’t mean avoiding relationships, it just means refusing to settle. it means knowing that you don’t need male validation to be worthy. and that means setting real standards:
if he’s inconsistent? he’s gone.
if he makes you question your worth? he’s out.
if he needs you to shrink yourself to fit into his life? bye.
your love life should enhance your life, not become your life. you don’t need to be chosen. you need to be cherished. there’s a difference.
✧˖° mindy’s personal tips ✧˖°
some little things that helped me fully break free from male validation: ➝ talk to yourself like you’re the love of your life - hype yourself up in the mirror, take yourself on cute dates, write love letters to you.➝ wear perfume, do your hair, and put effort into your looks even when you’re alone. let your beauty be for you, not for male approval. ➝ when a guy doesn’t text back, shift your energy immediately. instead of spiraling, get up, put on music, do something fun. do not make him your focus.
✧˖° homework: shift your energy back to you
for the next week, every time you catch yourself seeking male validation, pause. redirect that energy inward. do something for yourself instead. and watch how your entire aura changes.
because when you stop chasing their approval? you start living for real.
love you <333 so sorry this reply was sooo late
xoxo mindy