Sure, a big extended friend group trip might've been awful to plan... but isn't it worth it when a friend of your friend is absolutely gorgeous ?
【 Lunch & Train Card 】 - The8 (Xu Minghao)
Content : gender neutral reader (second person pov, please let me know if i gendered them somewhere in accident !) , non-idol au, strangers / acquaintances / mutual friends to lovers , kinda love at first sight , bestie Jun , other svt members mentioned , woohoo friends' vacation !
Word count : 2,006
Author's note: wow ! first posted fic !
》 read bonus SMAU here !
It was a spontaneous decision.
The friends’ trip had been going great. It was honestly such a huge group, you didn't know half the people there. Normally, you hated these types of plans, too many people you don't know well. You usually all ended up split into smaller groups anyways though, so it wasn't too much of a bother this time around.
It was especially not an issue when a gorgeous guy was passing by your group. You think you heard someone call him “Myungho”, and you swear someone else had called him “the eight” (???). Name aside, there isn't much else you know about him. He's pretty, he's quiet, and he's really fashionable. It’s a large shopping center you're all in right now, and you're sure he knows all the best stores to hit.
It would be a waste to let this moment slip by. Besides, as such a big group, it's safe to at least be in pairs.
You turn to the person immediately closest to you, who happens to be Jun. “Hey, I’m gonna go with him,” you say with a discreet gesture towards the gorgeous guy.
Jun glances over to who you're pointing at. “Oh, I didn’t know you were friends with Minghao!”
You gave him an awkward look and lowered your voice to a whisper. “I’m not, just curious about him…”
Jun returned a knowing look. “Well, now's your chance. He's great with clothes.” (as you’ve noticed)
A quick goodbye is exchanged between you and Jun, a mental thank-you for his assist with gorgeous Minghao’s name, and you're off before he gets too far away to catch up with.
As you fall into step beside him, he notices you. He greets you with a nod and the utterance of your name. If you're honest, you're not sure how he knows your name to begin with. It's not a complaint, as you feel your cheeks heat up a bit.
“Do you mind if I tag along for a bit?”
“Not at all.”
Just as you had guessed, he’s been in this area before, and knows the shops pretty well. You follow him to one. You giggle at some pieces that aren't quite your taste, are pleasantly surprised by how Minghao pulls them off, and end up trying on some clothes he picked out too. Then another store, and another, and another…
His eye for fashion is evident in his consistently flattering choices for you. He looks great in the clothes you chose too, but you're pretty sure his good looks are doing some heavy lifting.
It's surprising, the way both of you talk and act like you've known each other much longer than the actual reality of your acquaintanceship. It feels oddly natural.
His walking pace matches yours, and you wonder if he's adjusting his pace for you. “Do you want to go to the train station with me?”
You blink a bit in surprise. “To go where?”
“I know a cool place just a stop away, it's where I’ve been going when the others are too lazy to go out all together. It’s a forest-y area next to a park.”
“You're not trying to kidnap me or something, right?”
Minghao huffs out a laugh. “What, you think I would?”
“Hey, I seriously only just met you! Stranger danger…”
His gaze softened, unvoiced thoughts in his mind. “I’m serious, it's really pretty. If you really don't want to, that's fine, but it's a genuine offer. We could go another day.”
You feel your face heat up and you face forward in hopes that he won't notice. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
Before either of you can say anything else, your phones buzz with a message from the trip group chat. “Oh, Soonyoung and Jihoon are at the food court. I think they wanna gather there for lunch.”
Minghao leans his head closer to read off of your phone, and hums in approval. “We passed by it earlier I think, we can go back.”
The both of you were the first to arrive after Jihoon and Soonyoung. Others continue to trickle in, and a few tables end up getting pushed together to accommodate everyone.
When you take a lap around the food court to weigh your options, Minghao is following close behind you. His input is helpful for your indecisiveness, and you end up ordering together and paying together. He's not pleased that you paid for him, but he's thankful anyways. Jun gives you another look when you sit down with Minghao at the table. Lucky for you, he has the decency not to blurt out whatever it is you know he has on his mind. Most of the group is still gone ordering and getting food, and about half return when your buzzer for pickup starts vibrating. Minghao immediately gets up before you can. “I’ll grab it for both of us,” he said before swiftly leaving, and leaving no room for discussion. Jun immediately takes the opportunity to speak, moving from his seat across from you to the one made newly empty next to you.
His grin is nearly ear to ear. “What's going on with you two?” he whispered eagerly.
Hearing it addressed by a third party brings all the redness back to your face. “It's not like that,” you whisper back. When Jun’s smile drops, you truthfully add: “for him, I don’t think it’s like that for him.”
Jun laughs. “Really? He's like, glued to you.”
“I think he's probably just trying to get to know me better, since we’ve had mutual friends for so long. Anyways, don't make it weird.”
Seeing Minghao on his way back shut Jun’s mouth before he could protest. He had to stifle a giggle at the look on Minghao’s face, seeing the new seating arrangement.
He only makes a short rude comment towards Jun (not too rude; it pulls a laugh from both of you) before taking the seat across from you. He carefully places your order in front of you with utensils and napkins.
The rest of the meal goes by without any further teasing from Jun, something you’re grateful for. After the meal, everyone rides back to the airbnb in the same carpooling set up. For you, that means you're not in the same car as Minghao.
You honestly think you could’ve shopped more after the late lunch, but it wouldn't have been good for your wallet. Besides, it clearly did affect you, because you fell asleep earlier than usual.
You also woke up earlier than usual. As you dragged yourself through your morning routine, you remembered what Minghao said about the train station. Some of the clothes you ended up choosing were ones he had picked. They're pretty, you think.
When you step into the living room, you see Minghao, also dressed up. He was seated on the couch, and he subtly lit up at the sight of you. It would seem that both of you had the same plan in mind for this morning.
You’re walking side by side to the train station, not too long of a trip. It’s too early, so neither of you say much on the way there.
He’s first to speak once you arrive. “Do you have a train card?”
You glance at the machines. “I do, but I don’t think it works here,” you say sheepishly, a little embarrassed by your own lack of foresight.
His response is a gentle nod, soothing your worries. Your worries pick up immediately when he turns on his heel and starts walking away, before realizing he was headed to buy you a train card. Somehow, he gets to the booth before you can stop him, and you don’t want to make a scene, so you end up waiting for his return. It isn’t long before he’s back, handing you a brand-new train card. “Let’s call it even for the meal now,” he said with a soft grin.
“You didn’t have to pay me back for that,” you insist. “Thank you, though.”
The area you’re in wasn’t too busy, so you were able to get seats next to each other. Faint but consistent noise from the outside, the gentle shake of the train, and the warmth of the man sitting next to you feels like enough to lull you to sleep; either that, or you’re still feeling sleepy from the morning. After a bigger shake makes you jolt, Minghao reached to gently bring your head to rest on his shoulder. It makes you question if Jun was onto something.
Drowsiness has mostly left you by now, and so you and Minghao’s chatter makes the walk to the park go by quick. There’s a trail off the side of the park that you follow Minghao on; it’s lush and green. The ground is uneven, and you’re careful to keep your footing. (It’d be too on the nose to fall into his arms.) It’s already beautiful to you, especially as the sun comes out and shines its rays across the leaves and branches above you. You think the light is beautiful on him too, which you get to see every time he turns his head to check on you. Unbeknownst to you, he's thinking the same thing each time he checks to see that you're still behind him.
The brightness of his smile hits you before the glimmer of the sun reflects across the water. He steps aside so that you can see the huge lake in full, stretching wide across your field of vision. It’s sunny, but breezy enough to cool you off. You take a deep inhale of fresh air; the smell is wonderful. At the edge of the water, it shifts in a gentle motion, and you're sure you see little fish swimming around. There’s a couple little boats near the other side of the water, but otherwise, the area is completely private. It crosses your mind, the question of how he found this place. Only briefly, as the breathtaking sight cleared your mind. You hope this image stays in your memories for as long as you live.
Minghao sits on a flat rock, looking up fondly at you. If he's being honest, he’d confess that he liked you from the first time Jun had mentioned inviting you to a get-together. The only thing he had known at that point was that you were a friend of his friend, and that your instagram photos looked really nice from Jun’s phone screen. When there ended up being little chance to talk at that event, he tried to abandon the thought. It was only when he was informed that you’d be coming on the vacation that he told someone about his crush.
He was pleasantly surprised when you came up to him alone at the shopping center, and thrilled that you clicked so easily with him. Just as easily, his feelings were no longer shallowly based on your looks. The little stunt Jun had pulled in the food court had him rolling his eyes, and when he sat next to him in the car… if it wasn’t for the fact that the others were somehow fast asleep, and that Minghao needed to keep his eyes on the road, he would’ve held Jun’s mouth shut himself. He can't be too mad now, he thinks, seeing as being at this lake with you was practically adding years to his own life.
As you sit next to Minghao on the rock, you wonder what Jun will think when he hears about this. The teasing that comes up in your mind feels dismissable in this moment, with the gorgeous view of the landscape and of the person next to you. You turn to face him, and his face is much closer than you thought it’d be.
“Thank you for taking me here,” you whispered, as if speaking too loud would disturb the peaceful area. Minghao just gave you his soft smile in return.
In this moment, you hope Jun was right with his teasing. (He was.)
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓈒𓏸 sinopse: Porque Minghao iria te provar que o calor também poderia ser bom.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓈒𓏸 gênero: sugestivo
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓈒𓏸 avisos: Minghao x fem!reader, beijinhos, amassos, consumo de álcool
A noite está quente e abafada, vir em um dia de Summer EletroHits 2010s foi a melhor e a pior ideia que você teve. Não sabia que iria lotar tanto, e é até inocente da sua parte achar que as pessoas se esqueceram do Calvin Harris. Quis tentar ir a caráter do tempo: o vestido colado, bem acima do joelho, na cor preta; o salto fino e meia pata em um prateado brilhoso; e a maquiagem forte nos olhos com um preto esfumado. Pensou que o salto seria seu maior problema, já que ficar tanto tempo em pé seria seu fim, porém outras coisas ultrapassaram. O drink não tão bom assim que custou até mais carinho do que você pretendia gastar está se destacando mais.
Balança o quadril quando Save The World enche o ambiente, os gritos fazem a adrenalina correr por ser corpo. Bebe em um só gole o restinho da Margarita e coloca o corpo no balcão, dá um sorriso tímido para o barman bonitinho e se afasta a fim de ir mais perto do DJ. Desde cedo as pessoas estão animadas ao redor do homem.
No começo, você não quis saber, estava animada demais com o lugar e a música, porém, depois de um pedaço interessante do seu salário ir parar nos drinks com mais água e gelo do que bebida, não resta outra coisa para fazer além de ir ver o porquê de tanta animação. Empurra de leve os corpos para tentar se aproximar. Estreita os olhos quando as luzes alternam para um amarelo vibrante, mudando logo para o vermelho conhecido.
Consegue ver o equipamento antes mesmo da figura de cabelos longos e escuros que batem em sua regata preta. Faz uma careta ao vê-lo, não parece nada demais e se sente frustrada por sair do bar por isso. Está pronta para ir embora porque estar presa nesse aperto apenas para ver um homem que não é tudo isso não está te animando. Na verdade, parece piorar a noite que está sem graça.
Na virada entre Give Me Everything e Where Them Girls At com o show de luzes exuberantes, seus olhos encontram algo que captam sua atenção. As pupilas se adaptam entre as cores e o corpo alto que está do outro lado, os fios loiros do garoto tocam de leve os ombros sempre que balança a cabeça ao ritmo da música. O copo transparente com um líquido escuro, provavelmente uísque, que ele encosta de leve no peito coberto pela blusa oversized enquanto dança.
Os olhos também parecem focar em você, o sorriso sacana, acompanhado das sobrancelhas erguidas, são sinal verde para que saiba que a atenção é recíproca. Encara de volta sem qualquer vergonha, está perto de dar um sinal para o garoto, até que ele gesticula com a cabeça para uma área à direita. Com um sorriso no rosto, você dá leves empurrões nas pessoas para dar a volta na boate. Seu salto faria um som satisfatório se pudesse ouvir algo além dos gritos e a voz de Matthew Koma. Está tão lotado que achar um lugar vazio é impossível, porém ter uma área onde consiga conversar com ele já é o suficiente.
Aproxima-se, animada, para perto do homem. A mão grande envolve sua cintura para puxá-la para perto, o hálito carregado de álcool ocupa espaços em suas narinas e você franze o nariz, ele não consegue esconder a risada antes de se aconchegar perto do seu ouvido.
— Sou o Minghao — exclama, tentando ultrapassar o som alto.
— S/N — responde de volta, a voz em dois tons mais altos também.
— Difícil manter a atenção na festa com você gostosa assim me olhando — comenta, os dedos deslizando para acariciar sua pele por cima do tecido do vestido.
— Que fraquinho… Nem fiz nada ainda. — Leva a mão até o copo alheio e tenta fazer um charme para disfarçadamente dar uma olhada para ver se tem algo dentro. E não passa despercebido por ele, que dá uma risada.
— Não tem nada, gatinha — esclarece, a mão livre agora ocupa espaço em seu quadril junto com a outra.
Você ergue uma sobrancelha, pensando se deve confiar em um desconhecido. Pela demora, o próprio Minghao toma um líquido do corpo de uma vez só. Levanta as mãos em sinal de rejeição, abrindo bem os olhos para que as luzes possam mostrar o vislumbre de suas pupilas em tamanho normal.
— Ficou parecendo que sou uma careta — reclama, fazendo um bico que some enquanto você esconde o rosto no pescoço alheio.
— Você ‘tá certa, não pode confiar tão fácil assim — diz, simplista, os lábios tocam sua pele quente.
Você raspa as unhas no pescoço dele, descendo desde a mandíbula até a clavícula coberta, exibindo tiras que desaparecem na baixa luz do ambiente. Minghao te dá uma leve mordida, os dentes apertando a pele antes de levar a boca, finalmente, a sua. A mão direita do homem envolve seu pescoço suavemente, os dedos apertam a lateral com prática, como se estivesse acostumado em domar putinhas, e te manteve no lugar perfeitamente enquanto apalpava a carne macia da sua bunda.
A língua parece passar todo o calor dele para você, seus pelinhos eriçados pelo toque alheio que te cerca sem pudor. Seus músculos ficam tensos quando as fisgadas de tesão correm em seu sangue, tudo descendo pra sua bucetinha que já implora por atenção. O gosto amargo do uísque parece até docinho quando sua língua se envolve com a dele, o vestido subindo um pouco pelo movimento que o rapaz faz em unir os peitorais.
Quando o ar falta em seus pulmões, você se afasta a contragosto em busca de oxigênio e o encara praticamente implorando com os olhos por mais. Minghao está ofegante, os lábios inchadinhos trazem um charme a mais para o homem delicioso à sua frente. Por um instante, havia se esquecido da música alta que está no local de tão envolvida que está naquelas mãos que sobem e descem por seu corpo como se fosse o dono.
O polegar alheio faz um carinho em sua bochecha rosada, o dedo deslizando pela área brevemente para logo a mão descer novamente para seu pescoço a fim de te puxar de volta aos lábios famintos. As línguas familiarizadas fazem parecer mais simples o encaixe entre as bocas, tão fácil que você solta uma risadinha ao sentir o pau duro tocando seu ventre. Leva a mão sapeca para tocar o volume marcado por cima da calça.
— Já? — você debocha, e recebe um tapa estalado na bunda em resposta. A pele queimando em uma ardência gostosa que não falha em fraquejar suas pernas.
— Gostosa pra caralho, queria o quê? — pergunta, fazendo-se de inocente ao expor um bico.
— Não tem vergonha, né? — Puxa-o de volta para um beijo desleixado.
Seu corpo parece pegar fogo, cada rastro que os dedos de Minghao fazem em sua pele é como se fosse brasa. Os biquinhos do peito estão durinhos e pressionam o tecido da roupa, seu torso colado ao dele com pressão o suficiente para que o garoto sinta seu coração batendo rápido. A calcinha tão molhada que está colada em sua buceta babada. Solta um gemido manhoso entre os lábios do rapaz, e ele sorri satisfeito antes de apertar sua bunda com vontade. Os dedos ameaçando tocar a parte interna da sua coxa.
— Tô doido pra te comer… — confessa, depositando dois ou três selinhos pela extensão do seu pescoço.
— E você acha que eu sou fácil assim? — Ergue uma sobrancelha, a mão esquerda começando a empurrá-lo de leve.
— Por favor…
Dá um risada, surpresa pela cara de pau do homem, e envolve o dedo por dentro da gola desgastada da camisa, puxando-o para o bar. Precisa sair o mais rápido possível, quer ouvi-lo implorar mais vezes.
SYNOPSIS. In the year 2197, Xu Minghao works as a government shadow operative, hired to hunt down political dissidents. After surviving a catastrophic accident that should have ended his life, his body had been rewired to become nothing more than a living weapon solely engineered for one purpose: obedience. You live a different kind of double life. By day, a reclusive digital artist curating an elite art gallery; by night, a ghost hacker where you siphon power and secrets from the city’s corrupt core. But when your latest hack uncovers an unsettling truth, a target is painted on your back—and Minghao is assigned to terminate you.
PAIRING. shadow operative!xu minghao x ghost hacker!fem!reader
GENRE. cyberpunk au, futuristic au, angst, smut (minors dni 🔞), fluff, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers
WARNINGS (FOR TEASER). violence (murder, blood, gore, etc), minghao killing someone (yummy), body modifications/cybernetic enhancements
WARNINGS (FOR FULL FIC). explicit sexual content, cursing, drinking/drugs, violence (murder, blood, gore, etc), “implied” death, body modifications/cybernetic enhancements, government corruption, morally grey characters, brainwashing/memory manipulation, human experimentation
WORD COUNT (FOR TEASER). 1.3k
WORD COUNT (FOR FULL FIC). tbd, but hopefully 15k+
notes: hello :3 i hope u all enjoy this lil teaser hehe <3 this is for the @studiosvt cyberpunk: reload collab! tbh i have NO idea how long this will be, but this was def a genre i've been excited (and nervous) to dive into and i am honoured i got to write for minghao hehe
SECTOR TWO — THE VEIL DISTRICTS
The rain showering down from the night sky hisses against the alloy skin of the city.
Xu Minghao finds himself standing on the narrow maintenance ledge of a building sitting right across from the 47th floor of the Helix Tower, the tips of his combat boots hovering just over the edge as the wind snaps at the tails of his black trench coat. Right below his feet, the neon arteries of the city bleed through the thick layers of dense, permanent fog and rain.
Tonight’s target is a man named Arthur Kim. Age forty-three, married, with two daughters𑁋assigned to be executed under the orders of the Dominion for illegally accessing financial streams and attempting to sell them to some brokers located in the Undercity. A fatal error that costed him his entire life, and Minghao was sent to deliver the act within a termination window of two hours.
Minghao didn’t need all that time.
In due time, the ocular implant in his eye pings, immediately locking onto the target’s heat signature through the reinforced glass and walls. Minghao narrows his gaze, heat mapping across his vision, following the man’s dull amber silhouette frantically pacing inside of his dimly lit and expensive apartment, as if already knowing what’s about to come.
A forty metre gap separates the two buildings. Minghao steps into the void without any hesitation. The wind roars past him as he launches himself off the ledge, his coat flaring out like wings. Twin magnetic grapples fire out from the wrist of his right bionic arm with a sharp hiss, cables flying across the chasm until they latch onto the Helix Tower’s exterior frame.
At the apex of the launch, he releases the grapples and twists his body into a controlled dive towards the window. The second he makes contact, reinforced glass explodes inward as his boots smashes cleanly through Arthur Kim’s window, causing shards to rain across the carpet floor like confetti.
The man in question spins around too late, eyes blown wide with utter panic, clutching nothing but a half-empty glass of whiskey in his trembling hand and useless revolver in the other that he shakily points directly at Minghao.
“Don’t… don’t come any closer!” he begs, fingers twitching around the trigger. “I have connections𑁋I-I have a family, a wife, two little girls𑁋I can pay𑁋”
Minghao doesn’t speak. He never does on missions like this. Words are wasted on the already dead.
Instead, he crosses the room in three, perfect strides, way faster than any modified human should. Arthur attempts to shoot, but the revolver kicks back into his grip and causes the bullet to go wide and harmlessly punch into the wall directly behind Minghao, barely grazing the edge of his temple. The second bullet misses again and punches a smoking hole through a video holographic family portrait that flickers and dies mid-laugh.
When Arthur tries to bolt towards the door, Minghao cuts him off with a firm seize to his throat with his cybernetic hand, lifting the man clean off the floor and knocking the breath out of his lungs with a choked gasp. The synthetic muscles and servos whirr softly under the plating as Arthur’s legs kicked uselessly through the air, causing the whiskey glass and gun to slip free out of his hands.
Arthur’s screams are muddled when a sudden boom of thunder vibrates the world outside. Minghao doesn’t budge, even as the man claws at his grip with both hands. Forty-three years of soft living against a body rebuilt for war𑁋there was never a contest.
Minghao tightens his hold ever so slightly. Not enough to fully incapacitate yet. He wants the man to feel it, to feel the consequences of his actions with a teasing crush to his windpipe. The ocular implant in his left eye feeds him live data: heart rate 179… 203… oxygen saturation plummeting from 97% to 47%. It isn’t long until Arthur’s face bloats and washes into a deep crimson. Veins stand out like ropes along his temples. His eyes bulge, whites shot through with burst capillaries, tears leaking from the corners as his tongue presses thickly against his teeth.
Nothing but a wet, gurgling choke escapes him, barely audible over the storm raging outside and Minghao’s ironclad grip. “Please… my girls…”
The man continues to spew out gargled, pathetic words𑁋about his family who he only wanted to provide for, his wife who didn’t know anything, his innocent little girls𑁋and Minghao doesn’t feel a single ounce of remorse for it. He was assigned a task to complete. There was nothing programmed in him for mercy or pity.
When Minghao squeezes his fingers a fraction tighter, Arthur’s windpipe collapses with a wet, sickening pop. His eyes roll back completely in his head, his face drained of colour, as one final spasm jerks through his body before his arms drop limp to his side. Minghao holds him suspended in the air for a full ten seconds after the heart monitor flatlines before opening his hand.
Arthur’s body falls to the floor with a thud, sprawling among the glass shards and spilled whiskey. A thin stream of blood leaks from the corner of his mouth and pools beside his lifeless eyes. Updated data swarms through Minghao’s vision.
Target: Arthur Kim — TERMINATED
Elapsed Time: 8 minutes, 53 seconds
Minghao exhales a breath through his nose, rolling his shoulders back. The servos under his bionic arm hum faintly through the movement of his artificial joints, recalibrating itself from the temporary exertion. Eight minutes and fifty-three seconds. It’s somewhat sloppy by his standards, but the noise of the storm did well to hide most of the struggle. Still, the Dominion would be satisfied with his work as they always are.
He crouches beside the corpse, metal fingers brushing against the man’s neck to confirm zero pulse. Rain pours in from the shattered window, mixing in with the whiskey and the small pool of blood at his feet. This was definitely one of his messier missions, but the cleanup crew will do their task when he leaves.
He does a quick scan around the room, cycling through spectral overlays𑁋motion, thermal, electromagnetic. No alarms or security drones are detected. Arthur Kim had been arrogant enough to hide behind privacy glass and a single biometric lock on his door. What an amateur.
The apartment is dead silent now, except for the storm outside slowly beginning to dull out. But what catches him for a split second is the glitchy sound of laughter. Minghao shoots a glance toward the broken holographic family portrait that Arthur had shot at just moments ago.
His gaze lingers on the screen as it flickers erratically. What remains is a looping fragment: Arthur Kim smiling wide with his arms looped around another woman, and two small girls in front of them, both of them with equally big grins as if the world had never once been cruel. The audio stutters with one of the girls saying, “Daddy, look! I drew you a𑁋” before restarting the loop again.
Minghao forcibly tears his eyes away. He forces out a flat exhale through his nose, turning his back on the portrait entirely. Sentiment was a luxury for the wealthy civilians; for him, it was just irrelevant data. He mindlessly steps over Arthur’s corpse and treads his way toward the shattered window, climbing onto the rain-slicked ledge without looking back.
The wind claws onto him immediately, trying to sweep him off the building. He activates the magnetic grapples through his hand and anchors onto the opposite structure. With one powerful pull, he’s airborne again, swinging across the forty-metre gap like a shadow trailing through the void. Then he finds himself running across the rooftop before stopping right at the edge.
Below him, the city continues its restless slumber. Minghao watches it all distantly.
Then he jumps down into the void as the rain washes away the city’s sins.
This time, the fall felt a little longer than it should have.
Well, I don't give a fuck about your friends I'm right here. Oh, baby, take a look around. I'm the only one that hasn't walked out.
Minghao Doesn't care what other people say about your relationship or whether your friends like him because at the end of the day they always end up leaving you out of things, hurting you, being replaced or growing apart from you and he stays. He’s always going to be here when you need him. Can they say the same?
bsf Hao x fem reader, your friends suck and who else is there to pick up the pieces whenever they let you down but your always reliable best friend Minghao. DJs Hao and Vernon, it's the last time your so called friends let you down, you finally give in and admit Hao is more than just a fwb.
You dial a familiar number, sipping the drink you’ve been nursing for nearly an hour now. It’s the third time this week that your friends have let you down. This time their excuse for not showing up is that they mixed up the dates of this night out you’ve had planned for months, they already made other plans they can’t bail on. Surely you’ll understand. This behaviour isn’t new. You used to overlook it, just thinking they genuinely got busy and confused plans or mixed up dates on their calendar. Lately though, it’s become such a pattern that even you can’t write the way they continuously brush you off as accidental anymore.
So you call the one person who’s never let you down since you first met in middle school, your something more than a best friend but something less than a boyfriend - Minghao. It isn’t fair the way you string him along without committing, you know it isn’t, but neither of you ever speaks about it. You’re pretty sure he’s just waiting for you to admit you’re in love with him, something you realized months ago now and you’re sure he already knew. His patience far outweighs yours. You press call. He picks up on the first ring.
“Hao.”
“Hello darling, how are drinks with the girls going?”
It sounds loud but you can’t tell if the noise is coming from your end of the line or his. It doesn’t really matter. His voice is soothing even though he has to speak up for you to hear over the music thumping in the background.
You sigh, always feeling like an idiot when you have to admit they’ve left you out. “It isn’t.”
“Hmm?”
Hao makes a lot of judgments, you know how he feels about your friends, but he never makes his thoughts on them your problem. You appreciate it. You feel stupid enough right now for letting them walk all over you once again. You’ve decided it’s the last time you’re going to let it slide, but you’ll figure out what to do about it and how to finally cut them off tomorrow. Right now you just want a little comfort, or maybe reassurance? You’re not entirely sure. All you know is you’d like to not continue having to drink alone tonight and you’d like to turn this sour mood around before the night ends.
“They stood me up.”
“Again?”
You both know he expected this. He told you as much when he helped you pick out what dress to wear last week. You hate admitting he’s right but then, he usually is. Minghao is oddly good at reading people and their true intentions. It’s a skill you envy sometimes.
“Yes. Again.”
“You should stop letting them get away with treating you like this.”
It’s a conversation you’ve had more times than you care to count over the last year and a half since the behaviour started to escalate.
“I’m done Hao, I promise, but can we talk about that later? I just want to have a nice night.”
“You don’t need them for that.”
You smile softly. “I know.”
“You don’t need overpriced drinks at that shitty bar they keep insisting on dragging you out to either.”
That makes you laugh into your glass. Minghao has a lot of disdain for the place your friends like. He has a point. The drinks are expensive, and not even that good, and the whole place is just all about image. Your friends use it to sell a picture of themselves, the aesthetic photos and indirect bragging that they’re able to get exclusive vip tables whenever they want. They post a million stories whenever you come here, hoping to show a certain lifestyle you know isn’t really how any of them spend most of their time.
“Did you have something else in mind?”
You can almost hear the smirk through the phone. “Yeah, come watch Hansol and I play tonight instead. You can stay up in the DJ booth with us and actually enjoy yourself. Plus we play music that doesn’t suck.”
“How do you even know the music sucks here?” As far as you’re aware he’s only been once, and that was just a quick pop in to pick you up when you got way too drunk on Aerin’s birthday.
“Turn around.”
You do, on instinct, and it takes a moment to be able to focus enough but then you spot him. Minghao lifts his glass in a mock salute from where he stands just a few feet away, lounging against a concrete pole and watching you. You down your drink, hang up, and grab your purse. Your tab is already paid and honestly, getting out of here has never sounded better.
“Hello darling.” He’s practically purring when you make your way over and you have to shake your head at the confidence.
“You knew they weren’t going to turn up.”
He nods.
“So you followed me here to what? Sweep in and save the day?”
Hao raises a brow and finishes his drink in one long swallow. “I figured you might want an out.”
He’s right. He usually is. You just sigh and nudge him lightly with your shoulder.
“You look too good to let that dress go to waste on people who aren’t going to appreciate the effort you put in for them tonight.”
You roll your eyes but let him slip an arm around your waist and pull you into his side.
“You just want to get me out of it.”
He grins, leading you towards the door. “Later. FIrst I plan to appreciate the way it hugs every inch of you while you’re dancing along to remixes I made and watching me like I’m the only man in the room.”
“Confident, are we?”
“Mm, are you saying I shouldn’t be?”
The easy banter has you both smiling as you exit the bar and Minghao sweeps you into a cab, giving the address of the club where he and his friends work on weekends for the free alcohol and excuse to indulge in their hobbies.
“No, I’m just saying maybe you’re getting cocky.”
Minghao presses a kiss to your temple. “Tell me that again when you’re waking up in my bed tomorrow morning begging to go again and letting me make you breakfast even though we both know I can’t cook for shit.”
You don’t refute that, you both know you can’t. His smirk grows and you shake your head, but take the hand he offers anyway and lace your fingers together without another word.
“Maybe you were right.”
You break the silence when he helps you out of the taxi and he blinks.
“About what princess? I’m right about a lot of things.”
You just smile softly and wait on the curb while he pays for your ride. You know he’s going to make you say it even though you both understand. You wait until the cab drives off and he turns back to you, slipping his wallet back into the back pocket of his oversized jeans.
“You really are the only one who never left my side.”
He smiles and slings an arm around your shoulders, bringing your cheek to his. “I told you y/n, I’m right here whenever you need me. And even when you don’t.”
“I know. It’s why I keep calling. You always show up.”
He smiles softly, shakes his head and steps back a little. You just watch, leaning into the touch when his hand moves to rest against the small of your back.
“I’m not going anywhere, love.”
“Thank you.”
It’s so soft, so quiet, that you’re not sure he hears you as you walk together towards the club. But the way he pulls you a little closer as you walk past the line and the soft kiss he presses to your forehead as he shakes hands with the bouncer and walks you inside says he does. You think tonight might just be the night where his patience wins out and you make the choice you know he’s been waiting for. You’re not going to bother yourself about those fake friends anymore but Minghao? You’re not letting him walk away tomorrow without finally giving this thing between you a label. The way he smiles as he helps you up onto the small stage behind the booth, and the grip he keeps on your hand the whole time he greets Hansol tells you he knows he’s won. You just down the shot he hands you and smile back, letting your body fall into the rhythm of your friend’s music. He was right, it is better here, and you can feel Minghao’s breath on your ear as he sways behind you.
“I told you this place was more fun.”
You just laugh and reach back to settle his hands on your hips. “Okay, I’ll admit you and Sollie have much better music taste.”
You reach over to high five Hansol who smiles at the compliment before turning back to his work.
“And the vibe is infinitely less stuffy.”
Minghao laughs and you feel it vibrate through you where his chest presses against your back as he leans in to speak so only you can hear him.
“Fuck your awful friends darling, you should spend every weekend here with me instead.”
You shiver when he punctuates the end of that sentence with a little nibble on your earlobe.
“I’ll consider it.”
Your voice comes out breathier than you intend and you know he notices. The hands on your hips pull you back into him like there’s any space left between your bodies to close, and Minghao’s chin rests on your bare shoulder as he watches the crowd while you dance together. He doesn’t say anything for a minute. Doesn’t need to. The silence is peaceful. You both know you’re back where you belong now.
“Tell me you’re not going to walk out of my apartment tomorrow and pretend we’re just friends with benefits or whatever you keep telling those people.”
You hum softly and rest a hand over one of his, shaking your head. “No Hao, I don’t care what they think anymore. You’re still here and they never have been. I’m done pretending you don’t mean everything.”
The way he looks at you when you turn around in his arms is exactly what you’ve spent so long trying to find in other people. His gaze is soft, fond, and the smile curving his lips just begs for you to kiss it. So you do. That makes him laugh, His arms wind around your waist and you reach up to slip your own around his neck, fingers sliding into the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
“It suits you when you grow your hair out like this.”
He just shakes his head and leans in to press his forehead to yours. “Say it again.”
You smile. “What, that I’m yours?”
He hums softly.
“Hao, I always have been.”
He sighs softly. “I know. I just needed to hear you say it.”
Your smile only grows as he leans back to brush some stray hair behind your ear.
“I’ll say it as many times as you need, but right now I think you’re up.”
He glances over your shoulder to see that Hansol’s set is indeed coming to an end. Hansol just winks at you both as he hands over the controls, slips the headphones around Hao’s neck, and disappears into the crowd.
“I’m holding you to that as soon as we get to my place.” Minghao whispers in your ear as he sets up, refusing to let you move from where he has you pinned between him and the deck. “I want to hear you repeat it all night long, love.”
And you do. The words roll off your tongue from the moment his apartment door closes behind you until the sun streams in through the gauzy curtains hanging in front of the windows. When you wake tucked into rumpled sheets to the smell of burning green onion pancakes, your smile feels like it might split your entire face in half. It's so wide.
It turns out you don’t have to think about how to show up your shitty ex-friends. You open your phone to check the slew of notifications only to find that Hao posted several stories, and even tagged you in a post, showing everyone who turned you down last night for their “better plans” that you had way more fun without them. You don't really care how annoyed they are that you aren't coming crawling back because when you look up Minghao leans against the doorframe, arms crossed loosely over his chest, hair still ruffled from the way you ran your hands through it last night, dressed in a pair of sweatpants that hang just low enough on his hips to tempt you to drag him back into bed.
The amusement dancing in his eyes says he noticed. “Good morning darling.”
You climb out from under the covers and throw on his shirt, still draped over the chair in the corner where it landed when you got back. “Good morning Hao.”
You let him take your hand and when you follow him into the kitchen you can’t help laughing. “You should have let me help.”
It’s a mess. You can still smell the burnt rejected attempts he’s tossed in the garbage but the table is set with fresh flowers, a pot of your favourite fruity tea, and there’s more food than you know either of you can possibly finish.
“I mean, it looks great but how many tries did it take you?”
Minghao just sighs. “I gave up after the third batch still didn’t come out right. This is from that little diner you like a few blocks down.”
You just smile and lean up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for trying.”
“I think I’m going to need more lessons with my mother before I make breakfast successfully.”
His determination shines through and you laugh softly.
“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it eventually.”
He gets your chair for you. “Mm, but today this will have to do. Sit down and eat up, I’m taking you to meet my family properly this afternoon.”
You nearly choke on the one sip of water you’ve managed. “So soon?”
He shrugs and slides into the seat opposite you. “They’re in town for a visit, I didn’t want to wait.”
You just smile and let him start loading all of your favourites onto your plate.
“You really don’t leave anything to chance, huh?”
He smiles. “I play to win, love. And I don’t plan on ever not showing you off.”
“I noticed that.”
Neither of you stops smiling for the rest of the day. His patience really did win in the end.
in aeternum /in iˈtɜːrnəm/ Latin phrase — forever; into eternity
🔮 pairing: xu minghao x f!reader
🔮 genre: fantasy, magical realism, smut [18+ mdni]
🔮 wc: 10,627
🔮 warnings: sort of lore-heavy, scary imagery, mild weapon use, some morally gray plot points, mentions of prior physical abuse (not reader), drugging/poisoning, possessiveness, strangers to lovers, size kink, breast play, oral, multiple orgasms, unprotected piv sex (pls don't do this), marking, whining/whimpering, cum play, cum eating, fingering, reader passes out once, praise kink, a bit o' manipulation, petnames (baby, darling, good girl)
🔮 a/n: huge thank u to my goat @miniseokminnies for beta-ing ily!!!
written as part of my Cluetober Series — [masterlist]
SYNOPSIS: You know the woods like the back of your hand. There's little danger to be found, and you feel at home here; but there is one rule: Do not stray beyond the Outer Creek. A rule you've never broken, until today, when you got a bit too carried away foraging for mushrooms. You try to find your way back, to no avail; you are now undeniably lost deep in the forest, a sitting duck for the terrifying beasts that are rumored to live out here. You are very nearly attacked by something when a mysterious stranger appears, fending off the creature and saving your life. The stranger is kind, offering you shelter for the night. You are wary, but you decide to trust him — praying to the gods that it's the right choice.
Today was a perfectly ordinary day picking mushrooms until you got too curious.
You've been in these woods hundreds of times. You know not to stray beyond the Outer Creek — the unexplored part of the forest, where dark necromancers and foul beasts are rumored to live. And so for the most part you stayed far away. The only times you'd venture slightly toward the creek are when you were following the fungi — which is how you found yourself much deeper in the forest than you'd planned to be today. But the trail of puffballs was too good to pass up. I'll only go for another half-mile, you told yourself. Then I'll turn back around.
But you got carried away. It wasn't until you were mere feet away from crossing over the Creek that you realized how far you'd gone. You were about to turn back when you spotted a glowing pair of eyes coming from the dense brush ahead. Startled, you freeze, but a fluffy brown house cat appears from the shadows. He sits down, staring at you with his intensely-green eyes.
"Well hello there, friend," you say softly to the sizeable but tame-looking creature. You approach him slowly, as not to startle him. "What are you doing all the way out here?"
"I could ask you the same," the wind whispers in your ear as it suddenly picks up. making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The voice is clear as day, but there's nobody else in sight.
"Who said that?" you question, looking around carefully.
"It's me," the voice whispers from where the cat was sitting, but when you whip your head back around to where the feline was sitting you find it empty.
"Come and find meeeee," you hear the voice upon the wind again.
"I don't think so," you remark, collecting your mushroom basket and turning right around to head back the way you came, except… You're not entirely sure which way that was now. You're pretty sure it's this way, the way you were headed, but it all looks the same at this point.
"It's this way, of course," the wind breezes by your ear, but something in your gut tells you it can't be trusted.
"Who are you?"you call out.
"Nobodyyyy…." you hear off in the distance behind you. You instinctually turn towards the voice, but now you've gone and got yourself even more turned around.
"It's this way, I promise," you hear from the same direction as before.
"How do I know I can trust you?"
"You can't…"
You scan your surroundings one last time. The way the voice is telling you to go is the most logical direction you should head — but you still have an uneasy feeling about it. With a sigh, you take off, hoping you've made the right choice.
You walk for nearly 20 minutes. The voice doesn't speak again, and everything seems to indicate you are going the right way, but you still can't seem to find the main trail. The already-sparse sunlight peeking through the canopy is starting to fade — it is soon going to be dark, and you are lost deep in the forest.
You don't think you've passed the Outer Creek, but with each hesitant footstep you become less and less certain of that. The forest grows dimmer and dimmer, and soon night is upon you. The trees you've known and loved since you were a child no longer seem friendly — they loom tall and ominous above you, shrouding the path ahead in endless shadows, obscuring any sense of direction you had left. Finally, with dread, you admit it: you are incredibly lost.
Soon, the howling begins. It's distant, nowhere near you, but it is wholly unfamiliar — eerie and hollow echoing cries that linger far too long, chilling you to the bone. With every nearby rustle of the brush you brace yourself, expecting some horrible unknown creature to jump out and ambush you at any moment.
It's just the wind, you tell yourself. If something were there it would've attacked you by now. But you cannot be certain — and you can't seem to shake the feeling that you are being followed.
Though you can hardly see, you have a grave feeling you are only going deeper into the unexplored regions. The foliage starts to turn alien — trees larger than you've ever seen before, ambling vines snaking up and around their trunks, as if suffocating them. Brambles in the dense brush keep reaching out as you pass, snagging your dress and forcing you to pause and untangle yourself. To make matters even more terrifying, you start to see strange wooden figures hanging from the trees — bundles of sticks tied together with string to form various shapes. You try not to think about how some of them look… humanoid, like little dolls almost.
Despite everything you trek onward. You swear the howling sounds nearer now. You're nearly about to cry when a low rumble from behind makes all the hair on the back of your neck stand up in a prickle of terror. The approaching footsteps that follow are faint, undetectable if you hadn't been paying attention — but the deep thump, thump, thump, thump resonates through your skull as your heart pounds fearfully in your ribcage. The only thing you have on you to defend yourself is the small foraging knife you use for collecting mushrooms; you grip its wooden handle tight, brandishing the stout blade — a pathetic weapon, but better than nothing… right?
You slowly turn, bracing yourself for whatever horror may jump out at you from any given tree, but you find nothing. Suddenly a grotesque snarl fills your left ear — as if in slow motion, you turn, finding an enormous pair of furious red eyes attached to a gargantuan shadowy figure lunging directly toward you. You throw your arms up, hiding behind them as you brace yourself for the thing to attack you, but the impact doesn't come. You hear it screech, a shrill and awful sound — daring to open your eyes you look up to see a cloaked figure, human-sized, driving a spear into the indiscernible beast. It immediately retreats, scuttling off horridly back into the trees. The cloaked figure starts to turn; you instinctively raise your meager knife — because if they could fend off whatever that thing was then surely they could kill you in a swift second too. But instead you are greeted by a soft face, kind dark eyes looking at you from beneath long straggly waves of black hair. The man sets the end of his long spear onto the ground, carrying it now as a staff.
"It's okay," your savior whispers. He reaches toward you; you instinctively tighten your grip on your knife, raising it in defense, but he gently grabs your wrist, lowering the blade for you.
"Come with me," he orders in a hushed tone. "We're safe for now but it could come back at any moment. Maybe even with a friend or two."
He tugs you along, dragging you hastily through the trees. You know you shouldn't trust a stranger — not out here, especially. But the man did just save your life, and you don't really have much of a choice right now anyway.
"What in the gods' names are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" the man asks as he leads you with purpose. You're unsure where he is taking you, but he is seemingly very familiar with this part of the forest.
"I didn't mean to be. I was picking mushrooms but I got a bit, uh… carried away," you answer, slightly embarrassed. "Next thing I knew I had accidentally crossed the Outer Creek and gotten myself very lost."
"I take it you're from the Southernlands, then."
"Do you mean the Heartlands?" you ask, confused.
"Oh, yes. I've heard that's what they're calling it now."
"What do you mean, 'now'?"
The man turns briefly to look at you, a curious look upon his face.
"I'll explain later," he shakes his head, pulling you along as he picks up speed. "We're almost there, but we must hurry."
"Almost where?"
"My home."
Sure enough, you soon arrive at a small clearing. A humble but cozy-looking cottage awaits you; the man pulls out a skeleton key and quickly unlocks the large wooden door, shuttling you inside.
Whatever you were expecting, the cottage's interior is far from it. It is a small, one-room home, almost cluttered with the amount of tools and trinkets laying upon every surface, but everything seems to belong right where it is. Intricate tapestries adorn the walls, illuminated by the flickering glow of the numerous lanterns hanging from the low ceiling or sat upon a shelf; the furniture all appears to be handcrafted from dark spruce wood, rustic-looking but sanded and polished to near-perfection. A large fireplace stands built into the left-hand wall, its flames wispy and dying but welcoming; past it in the corner is a tiny kitchen with a wood-burning stove and a simple water basin, pots and pants decorating the area as they hang from hooks on the ceiling, surrounded by bundles of fresh drying herbs strung upon thin lines of twine, barrels of fresh-looking fruits and jars of pickled vegetables sitting scattered upon all the tables and counters. On the other side of the cottage sits a large bed, lined with plush pillows and draped with thick woolen blankets; beyond the bed is a massive bookshelf, leather-bound books of all shapes and sizes crammed into every nook and cranny.
"Wow," you whisper as your eyes feast upon your incredible surroundings. "This is so lovely."
"Oh, thank you," the man replies as he locks the door behind him. He sets his staff against the wall and removes his long cloak, hanging it upon the coat rack. As he turns you get a clear look at him: he's much younger than you expected, around your age, and for all the rumors you've heard of the crooked and evil folk who supposedly live out here he looks so… normal.
"Who are you?" you ask as he saunters over to the fireplace, throwing another log upon the dwindling hearth. The flames rise as it catches, radiating warmth throughout the room. You whisk over and kneel before it, warming your cold hands in its heat.
"My name is Hao," he tells you as he fetches a blanket and drapes it around you. You're not that cold, but you welcome its comfort anyway. "And what may I call you?"
Your lips part as you're about to tell him your name, but some small voice in the back of your mind whispers to you: don't tell him.
"You can call me Rosie," you reply. It's not technically a lie — you haven't gone by the old childhood nickname in years, but you figure there's no harm in playing it safe.
"Well, Rosie — you can stay the night here. It's not safe to be out there in the dark. When the sun rises I will lead you back to the creek — you should be able to find your way home from there, yes?"
You nod. "Good," he responds, shuffling past you and into the kitchen. "May I interest you in some stew?"
"Yes, please," you eagerly reply, realizing just how hungry you are by now. A small pot hangs above the stove's flames; he removes the lid, steam filling the air as he dips a long wooden ladle inside, spooning some stew into a ceramic bowl. Its delicious smell hits you as he carries it back into the living room for you, making your stomach gurgle excitedly as he places the bowl into your hands.
"Careful, it's hot."
It is hot, but that doesn't stop you from digging right in. You scarf the whole thing down, graciously accepting seconds when Hao offers them.
"What's it like in the Heartlands?"
He had been silent the entire time you were eating, watching you curiously from the other end of the couch; you were so absorbed in eating that you hadn't even noticed.
"Have you never been?"you ask as you slurp the remaining broth directly from the bowl.
"Not for a very long time," he answers. He speaks casually, but you detect a certain somberness to his words. You want to ask more, but it seems it might be a sore subject, so you don't.
"Um, well, it's pretty nice, I guess," you start. "I run my father's bakery, so I don't have too much free time, but when I do I usually spend it foraging in the woods."
"Like today."
"Yes, exactly. The mushroom trail was particularly good today," you say with a satisfied grin.
"Do others join you?"
"Oh, um, well there's some other foragers in the village, but I prefer to be alone."
"Alone in the woods," he muses. "And you're not scared?"
"Of course not. I know every inch of these woods," you nod confidently. "Well, not these woods," you quickly correct yourself. "The Inner Creek forest, I mean. A lot of people talk, saying that I'm some kind of odd loner for spending all my time in there. But I find it peaceful — I feel very at home."
You're not sure why you're telling him all this, but he's a very an attentive listener. He watches you with interest, his kind eyes resting upon you warmly. He's a stranger, your brain reminds you. You can't trust him. Yet a strange sense of kinship lingers in the air.
"I get it," he nods. "I feel the same way."
You wonder if you should inquire as to what he's doing living all the way out here — it can't hurt to ask, right? But you deliberate for just a moment too long.
"It's getting late," Hao remarks as he glances out the window. "You should get some rest, the walk tomorrow will be quite long."
As much as your mind is racing right now, you are exhausted. The thought of sleeping alone in a stranger's house does make you a bit anxious, but you don't really have any other options.
"You can take my bed," he instructs, gesturing in its direction.
"Oh, no, I couldn't—"
"The linens are fresh. I'm not going to sleep much anyway," he informs you. "I tend to be the most productive in the middle of the night."
You're about to decline again, but what does it really matter anyway? You're going to be unconscious regardless, so safety is a moot point — you might as well be comfortable.
"Okay," you agree with a shrug. "If you say so."
The bed is surprisingly plush. You cozy yourself beneath the sheets, sleepiness quickly washing over you despite your nerves. Your eyes drift closed, and you lay there listening to Hao tinkering with something in the other corner of the cottage; the soft sounds lull you into a trance, and soon you are asleep.
You wake an unknown amount of hours later absolutely freezing.
You tug the blankets all the way up, tucking your chin beneath it as you try to warm yourself, but the cottage air is frigid. Glancing over to the fireplace, you see its embers dwindling, long forgotten by the man aross the room. The only light in the house is the dim glow of the single lit lantern upon Hao's desk where he sits; you can only see the back of his head from here, tilted down between hunched shoulders — but he appears to still be deeply immersed in whatever project he was working on when you fell asleep.
Shutting your eyes, you try your hardest to go back to sleep, but your incessant shivering is unignorable.
"Hao?" you eventually call out quietly into the room. The tinkering stops, his head lifting as he peers over his shoulder.
"Yes?"
"I'm cold," you murmur timidly. "Do you have another blanket?"
"Oh," he replies, swiftly rising to his feet. "Of course," he answers as he zips across the room. He retrieves a thick woolen blanket from a large chest and brings it to the bed, unfolding it and gently placing it over you. His hand brushes against your hair as he pulls the blanket up to your face, and you swear it lingers there for just a second too long.
"Thank you," you tell him sheepishly from your cocoon.
"No problem at all." He looks down at you for a moment, eyes tired and dulled, then turns to head back to his desk.
"You should sleep too," you blurt out before he can walk away. He turns back to face you, looking at you curiously.
"You needn't stay awake just because of me." You scoot toward the edge of the bed, making space for him to lay beside you. "I don't mind, really."
He seems to consider for a moment, but without a word he turns and shuffles across the room. Your heart sinks slightly, feeling slightly embarrassed at your perhaps too bold suggestion; but then you hear a soft puff of air, and the lantern upon his desk is extinguished. It's now dark, but you hear approaching footsteps. The blankets lift as he slips beneath the covers, laying himself as close to the edge of the bed as possible.
"You can get comfy," you tell him with a small giggle. "It's your bed after all."
"I am," he lies, resting his head stiffly upon the pillow.
"Alright," you concede. "Goodnight, then."
"Goodnight," he replies softly.
Hao lays there uncomfortably for the next fifteen or so minutes. You've flopped onto your side, your back to him, seemingly asleep — but that's not stopping his mind from wandering. Imagining how soft you'd be in his arms; imagining running his fingers through your hair; imagining your scent lingering upon his skin even after you've left…
Stop it, he tells himself sternly. This was a bad idea…
He's about to give up on sleep and head back to his desk in defeat when you roll over to face him.
"Can't sleep either?" you ask quietly. You gaze up at him — eyes seeming to glimmer even in the darkness. Hao feels a rush of warmth course through his body; he shifts awkwardly, trying to think of anything in the world to stop him from getting aroused right now, but you are a terrible distraction. It's no secret that he's lonely — he loves living alone in the woods, it's a peaceful way of life and he's never been bothered by the lack of companionship. But you looked so pretty out there, so mysterious and alluring that he had to know more — and now here you are in his bed, a beautiful and dangerous temptation laying right there in his reach.
He shakes his head. "No," he answers, looking back up to the ceiling, avoiding your gaze. But it doesn't stop his heart from racing at the mere thought of you. You watch him for a minute; you roll over a little futher, bringing your body just a bit closer into his.
"I'm still a little cold," you say, casually sliding your hand over the mattress toward him. He tries not to read into it, tries not to delude himself — but then he makes the mistake of glancing over at you again. The way you're looking at him right now is undoubtedly sensuous; he met you mere hours ago, and you are already driving him fucking crazy.
"I can get you another blanket—" he starts, moving to get up, but your hand reaches his beneath the covers. He freezes — the coolness of your palm stings tantalizingly against his warm skin as you rest it upon the back of his hand, sending sparks through his veins. He instinctively turns his hand, letting yours slip into his grasp.
"Tell me to stop," you whisper as you intertwine your fingers with his; Hao lets out a sharp exhale.
"Tell me not to do this." You squeeze his hand, holding it tightly. He resists for a moment, his hand limp in yours, and you begin to think you've gone too far — but you let out a soft gasp as he squeezes back, taking your cold hand in his warm one.
"I can't," he responds, turning his head to look at you.
"Why not?" you ask as you brush a few strands of dark hair out of his eyes, running your fingers delicately over his cheekbones. His round, widened eyes peer back at you — eager and desperate.
"I want you to do this," his voice nearly wavers. He reaches for your face, cradling your cheek in the palm of his hand as he draws you into him — close enough to feel his breaths falling on your lips. "I want you."
Slowly he drags his lower lip over yours, a shaky exhale hot against the delicate skin making your arms tingle with goosebumps. You waste no time, pressing your lips into his as you grasp at his loose shirt and pull him into you; he begins to kiss you, strong with heated passion like nothing you've ever experienced. He savors you — long, slow kisses that elicit a fire in your belly as his hands wander over your body, desperate to touch every inch of you. His fingertips drift to the side of your thigh, tugging up at the fabric of your skirt, requesting its removal. Your lips part briefly, an excited grin coloring your face as you lift your hips, allowing him to pull your dress up and over your body. He drops it to the floor, eyes widened in amazement at the sight of you before him, in nothing but thin linen undergarments, the sheer fabric only barely obscuring the enticing curves beneath. You pull at his shirt, lifting up to reveal his bare chest and toned stomach as he lets you undress him. Your nipples poke through the thin fabric, erect with anticipation; he runs his fingertips over them, feeling the hardened buds, causing an immediate rush of blood to his cock. He can wait no longer — he pulls your top off of you, your soft breasts falling free.
"So beautiful," he whispers as he takes your breasts in his large hands. He rolls over on top of you, sliding down until his tongue greets your nipple, flicking against it gently.
"Ohhh," you sigh, letting him lap lazily at the perked and pebbled bud. A mess of moans quickly arise from your throat, your body squirming beneath his as he licks incessantly at the nipple. Eventually he takes it between his lips, suckling on it as he kneads at the flesh of your breasts.
"That feels… wow," you exhale, words eluding you in the face of such pleasure. Your eyes flutter shut, head falling back into the pillow as the tip of his tongue dances against the hardened nub. He suddenly switches to the other breast, nipping at the bud gently. You cry out, running your fingers through his long hair and grasping at his head; you hold him in place as he sucks away, your hips rocking as your legs spread open further. The heat of your clothed cunt against his bare stomach only worsens his erection; soon, he is painfully hard, trying not to move as not to cause any friction, but the movement of your hips makes that inevitable. He grinds into the bed, the pressure only making his cock throb against the mattress.
"Gods," he gasps as his mouth suddenly unlatches from your breast, lifting himself off the bed slightly, but you quickly grab at his sides and pull him up. His torso sinks into your body, the weight of his large but slender frame crushing you delightfully. You wrap your legs around his hips, grinding your core against his cock. It feels thick, heavy — and you're certain you've never wanted anything more in your life.
His forehead presses against yours, heaving breaths greeting your face as he locks onto your gaze with burning intensity.
"Let me love you," he whispers. "Please."
You stare longingly up into dark eyes, eyes that stare back at you with all the lust in the world. You've never felt so wanted, so utterly desired with pure carnal instinct; it makes your pussy ache deliciously. You nod, desperately eager — a lazy grin spreads across his face, staring down at you like he could devour you.
You reach for his pants, unfastening them and reaching within. Wrapping your palm around his warm cock, you let out a soft gasp — it's thick, and heavy, its weightiness causing an excited pang in your gut. You pull it out, your hand dwarfed by its size in your grasp. You give him a few strokes, squeezing gently as your hand glides up and down its length, making his eyes roll back into his head. The tip is wet, dripping with precum already.
"Your cock is so pretty," you whisper, eyes locked onto the massive shaft in your hand.
"Don't say things that," he grumbles, kissing you fervently. "I'll fall in love," he murmurs into your lips between kisses.
Soon, he cannot wait any longer. He sits up on his knees, reaching for your underwear and yanking them off of you. You lift your legs, allowing him to pull them up and over your feet, tossing them aside hastily. His hands slide to your inner thighs, spreading your legs, revealing your drenched and eager core. He says nothing, stunned into silence by how pretty you are, mouth agape and salivating at the sight of you.
Without warning he dives face-first into your pussy, making you cry out with pleasure. He laps up your juices with feverous need, savoring your incredible flavor on his tongue.
"Hao," you whine, stroking his hair again as he goes down on you. "Feels amazing…"
His mouth never departs your cunt for a single second, dragging his tongue through your slick folds and slipping it in and out of your hole before moving to your clit. He flicks quickly it over the stimulated bud, incessantly and hungrily, causing a white-hot sensation to burn in your stomach.
"Don't stop," you plead, and he doesn't. The burning sensation builds and builds, making you squirm and whimper as you reach orgasm. As you cum on his tongue he grips your thighs tightly, holding you still beneath him as your legs quiver and your back arches with ecstacy. Sure, you've had orgasms before — but they were nothing like this.
Your squirming begins to slow as you come down from your high. His grasp on your thighs loosens, but he still holds onto them as he lets you finish. Your chest heaves deeply as you attempt to catch your breath, but Hao needs to be inside you now. He crawls on top of you again, face hovering above yours as he takes his cock in his hand, guiding it to your entrance. He presses the head in; it slips in with ease, your soaked hole accepting his cock graciously.
"Ohhh, wow…" you mumble, clinging to his sides as he pushes his length into you. You whimper softly as he fills you up, your walls squeezing tightly around his thickness. His full length now inside you, he pauses, taking a deep breath as he gazes down at you longingly.
"Is this okay?" he asks, making sure you're comfortable.
"More than," you reply, staring up at him with eyes begging him to fuck you — a request he is more than pleased to fulfill. He thrusts into you, slowly dragging his cock out and pushing it back in, reaching depths you didn't know were possible. Your nails dig into his back as his pace begins to increase, gradually at first, but before long he is fully fucking you with uninhibited enthusiasm. Soft groans escape his lips, his eyelids fluttering as he strains to keep his gaze on you. But it feels too good — he dips his head into the crevice of your neck, swirling his tongue over the tender skin before planting his lips into your flesh and sucking on it eagerly while he fucks his cock into you. Nothing in the world has ever felt better than this.
"You feel like heaven," he moans into your neck. "So divine."
Unable to form words, you can only reply by whining pathetically — and it is music to his ears. You drag your nails down his back, scratching him and breaking skin in a way he knows will leave a mark. The thought turns him on impossibly more.
"I'm gonna cum, love," he growls into your ear. "Gonna fill you up and make you mine."
He kisses your cheek, dragging his lips across your face to find your mouth again. He kisses you and kisses you until he can hold off his climax not a moment longer. His lips break free from yours, groaning into your mouth as he releases inside you, cock pulsing as his hot cum spills into your cunt. You whine at the incredible sensation, wrapping your arms around his back and pulling him in as close as physically possible as he cums inside you.
"Fuck," he groans as he finishes, his body slowing and sinking into yours. He's practically squishing you, but you delight in the sensation. You relax your grasp on him, dragging your fingertips slowly up and down his marked back. With a kiss, he carefully pulls his cock out of you, watching as his cum drips out of you all over his bedsheets. He collects it on his fingers as it spills out of you, pushing as much of it as he can back into your pussy. You reach for his wrist, pulling it to your mouth and licking the cum off his hand.
"Gods, you're perfect," he praises as he lays down beside you again. He places slow kisses into the fresh bruises on the side of your neck, his large hand resting on your stomach as it rises and falls with your heavy breaths. You close your eyes, relishing in the sweetened intimacy, savoring the delicate attention as a deep sense of relaxation washes over you.
But before long, the noises begin; it starts with the howling wind, rushing angrily around the cottage exterior; then, the scratching sounds come, as if every tree surrounding the house is trying to break into the walls and snatch you away; but the worst is the growls and snarls — they're distant, and barely audible, but they chill you to the core.
The relaxed state you were in quickly dissipates, your muscles tensing anxiously. Hao notices, lifting his head to look at you.
"Relax, love," he mutters softly, taking your face in his hand and cradling it tenderly. "We're safe in here."
"How can you be so sure?" you ask timidly.
He smiles slighty. It's a knowing smile — but honest. "Trust me," he whispers, planting a kiss on your forehead. "I promise."
You nod silently. You do trust him, at least you think. You trusted him enough to let him fuck you, anyway.
He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace. His body is warm — comforting in the same way as sitting beside the gently roaring fireplace. Sleepiness starts to overcome you, but the many questions swirling around your mind are keeping you awake.
"Earlier, you referred to the Heartlands as the Southernlands," you say quietly. "What did you mean by that?"
Hao's sleepy eyes perk open a bit. He gazes at you silently for a moment, seemingly deep in thought.
"How do you refer to this region of the forest?" he inquires.
"You mean, beyond the Outer Creek?" You think for a moment. "I suppose there's not a specific name for it. The townsfolk don't like to speak of it, really. The elders simply tell us it's forbidden."
"And what do you know of the Banishing?"
"The Banishing," you repeat. You had learned about it in history studies in school; you don't remember all the details, but you're familiar with the story.
"Well, I know that the Heartlands used to live in harmony with the Outer Creek folk," you begin. "But four hundred years ago, an evil witch who lived out here started practicing dark magic. The practice spread, and eventually the witch had corrupted everyone who lived beyond the Outer Creek. The rulers of the Heartlands feared it would spread — so they banished the Outer Creek residents, forbidding them from ever entering our region of the woods again."
Hao nods slowly. "I see."
"But… I've never heard of the Heartlands having the name of the 'Southernlands'," you add. "I still don't understand that part."
"That's because the history you know of is a lie."
"What?" you ask, giving him a strange look. "What do you mean?"
Hao sighs reluctantly, but he starts to explain.
"You said the Heartlands used to live in harmony with the Outer Creek folk," he repeats your words. "That itself is not a lie, but it's also not the full truth. You see, the Heartlands used to be called the Southernlands, and the Outer Creek region was called the Northernlands. The Northernlands have always been sparsely populated compared to the many towns of the Southernlands — those who lived out here long ago did indeed go to and from the Southernlands, mostly for trade. But your polished history neglects to mention perhaps the most critical part of this story: magic was everywhere. Sorcerers lived in the Northernlands as well as the Southernlands, and mystical beasts roamed freely — magic was as commonplace as your mushrooms after a storm. And there was no such thing known as 'dark magic' — people would seek help from the sorcerers just as they would a healer or a priest, they were trusted and integral members of both societies."
He pauses, letting you absorb his words. You have about a hundred questions, and you don't even know where to begin.
"So… there was no evil witch?" you finally utter.
"Not… quite. There was one sorcerer who was discovered to have given numerous women in the town potions to kill their husbands."
"Oh how awful," you remark, a look of disproval coloring your face.
"That is what most people thought of it, yes. But the sorcerer insisted it was only intended for men who abused their wives. Beat them, screamed at them, threatened them — these women were terrified, and no one else in town would do anything to protect them."
"Oh," you reply quietly.
"The sorcerer maintained that if the husbands weren't taken care of, the women would have been killed themselves," Hao continues. "That it was the only way."
"That still doesn't make murder okay."
Hao nods slowly, but he seems to be in disagreement. "The majority of the town shared that same sentiment. The Council immediately outlawed magic, inciting a witch hunt against anyone who disobeyed. All magical creatures were banished to the Northernlands, and — fearful for their lives — the remaining users of magic soon followed them. The irony is that the Council kept one sorcerer captive to do their biddings — so they could maintain the 'peace'." Hao scoffs slightly. "But it was entirely about control. They forced the sorcerer to cast a spell of protection around the Southernlands, a boundary along the Outer Creek which segregated the Northernlands entirely, so no other sorcerers or beasts could ever return."
"What happened to them?" you ask. "The Council and the sorcerer?"
"Eventually they got old and died. The sorcerer vanished, presumably fleeing to the Northernlands to rejoin the others — and the spell behind the barrier was lost. But by that point nearly 100 years had passed. The banished sorcerers and creatures continued to keep to themselves beyond the Outer Creek, never to return. Eventually the history was forgotten — the Southerlands had long since rebranded to the Heartlands, and those old enough to remember the Northernlands had all died by then. The tale lived on only in stories, but those stories became nothing more than distant myths."
You're exhausted, but your mind spins with questions and more questions. One in particular stands out to you, though.
"So why do you live out here?" you ask, a deep yawn overtaking you.
"Well now that's a long story," he chuckles back, clearly equally as tired as you. "But it's getting quite late — I'll tell you in the morning."
He leans in, giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead.
"Get some rest, darling."
You wake the next morning to an empty bed.
Your eyes slowly flutter open to unfamiliar scenery. You blink, looking around for a moment, before you remember where you are.
Hao's cottage looks rather different in the serene glow of the little sunlight that can reach through the thick canopy. Without the warm luminance of the many lanterns, the cottage has a colder feel to it — but not necessarily in a bad way. The clutter is more apparent in daylight, odds and ends stacked in every possible nook and cranny, giving it a strange and mysterious air that wasn't present before. Also not present is Hao — you scan your sleepy eyes across the small home, but it is still and silent and lifeless.
You wait a few minutes, remaining patiently beneath the covers. A few minutes pass, and you wait a few more — but he doesn't return. A bad feeling starts to arise in your gut. Where did he go? Did he abandon me? What if he never comes back??
Fear begins to flood your veins. You can sit around no longer — you quickly hop out of the bed, scurrying to get dressed and gather your belongings and leave before it's too late. Your heartbeat thumps in your ears as you rush toward the door; you grab the handle, swinging the heavy wooden door open — and come face to face with Hao.
You jump at the sight of him. He looks startled, and then concerned.
"Rosie? What's the matter?"
You freeze, staring up at him like a frightened deer.
"Are you alright?" He looks down at you, spotting your cloak on your body and your belongings in tow. "Are you leaving?"
"I— I thought you left," you stammer softly. "I got scared, I don't know…"
He lifts his arm, showing you the small basket resting over his wrist. In it are an assortment of herbs and a few handfuls of berries.
"I was just in the garden," he explains. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. Here—" he says as he steps across the threshold. His body is now terribly close to yours, causing an anxious pang in your stomach. "Let me make us some tea and breakfast."
You quickly take a small step back, lest he lingers a moment too long. Not that you would mind it…
He shuts the door behind him as he walks to his kitchen. You stand there for a moment, still considering running for it, but you figure a bit of breakfast wouldn't hurt. You still have a long journey back, after all.
As you put your things back down, Hao puts a small pot of water on to boil and then returns to the herbs, sorting and pruning them before tossing them into the pot as it begins to bubble. He unwraps the cloth off of a loaf of bread, gently cutting it into thick slices.
"Baked it yesterday," he tells you over his shoulder. "It's quite fresh. Though might not be so impressive to a professional baker," he adds lightheartedly.
"I'm sure it's delicious," you smile as you head over to the table. He serves you the bread with freshly-churned butter and an array of delicious-looking jams, accompanied by this morning's pick of berries and the piping hot tea. The tea's aroma is inviting; you gently blow into your cup as you take a small sip, finding it tastes as lovely as it smells.
"I must thank you for your kindness," you tell him as you spread some blackberry jam across your slice of bread. "I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't scared off whatever that was last night. And you've been more than generous to me with… everything." Memories of your intimacy last night begin to flutter through your mind; you do your best to ignore them — a task easier said than done.
"Of course," he smiles at you softly. "I'm more than glad I could help."
You sip your tea in silence for a few minutes, musing in the silence about the tales he told you last night. It all seems too impossible — but what reason would he have to lie to you?
Hao seems to be able to read your thoughts. "I understand the stories I told you last night may be difficult to believe."
"I believe you," you tell him. It's mostly true, anyway. "It's just… so much to think about."
You let out a small yawn, your eyelids drooping slightly. The warmth of the tea is starting to make you sleepy again. Unsurprising, given how little you actually were able to rest last night.
"I don't understand why they kept this from us though," you comment.
"The truth can be difficult to swallow," Hao replies with a shrug. "Sometimes the lies feel safer."
You yawn again, bigger this time. Your eyes suddenly feel quite heavy — your cup still has some tea in it, but you return it to its saucer. Best not get too sleepy before you have to go.
"You haven't told me why you live out here, yet," you tell him. Your tired eyes lose focus for a moment; you blink a few times, but the image of Hao before you is still a bit blurry. You press your palm into your forehead as it begins to throb achingly.
"Are you alright?," Hao asks, staring at you with concern. "You don't look so well."
"Yeah," you mumble. "I'm fine, I just…" Your head aches as the room around you wobbles a bit, then begins to spin.
"Rosie?" Hao asks, rising from his seat and catching you just in time before you collapse.
Your ears ring loudly. Faintly and far in the distance, the last thing you hear is him asking "Rosie, can you hear me? Rosie!"
The room goes dark around you, and you are now unconscious.
You wake to the cottage dim and shadowy again. You try to sit up, but can't — your body feels stiff and leaden. A soft groan escapes you; you can't see clearly, but you detect sudden movement in the near distance — a figure rushing toward you.
"Rosie!" Hao's voice calls out as he kneels beside the bed. He holds your heavy head in his hands as your eyes slowly focus on his soft features. "You passed out hours ago, I was so worried."
"What time is it?" you mumble, trying to get out of the bed. "I have to go home—" But you sit up too fast; head spinning dizzily, you fall back into the mattress.
"You're in no condition to travel," he tells you, brows furrowed with worry. "Please, take it easy, I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"What happened?" you ask him, rubbing your temples to sooth your aching head.
"You collapsed at breakfast," he answers, rubbing your arm softly. "You've been unconsious since then." He presses the back of his hand against your forehead. "You feel feverish — you must rest."
You shift back into the pillows, laying down again. You cover your face as tears begin to well in your eyes, quietly starting to cry.
"Hey, hey," Hao softly soothes you, holding you gently in his hands. "I'm going to take care of you, I promise. You're going to be alright."
He crawls over you to lay beside you on the bed. He takes you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest. His heart beats softly in your ear — you find it calming. You sink into his grasp, letting him hold you as close to him as physically possible. Laying there for several minutes in silence, you calm down again. You feel safe here; as long as you are with Hao, nothing can ever happen to you.
Hao watches you intensely. Your beauty is intoxicating; he doesn't know how he can ever let you go.
You feel his gaze on you, but you don't mind one bit. You fiddle with the hem of his top, lifting it slightly to expose his stomach. You press your hand against the warm skin, gliding your palm up and into his shirt. He lets out a huff of laughter; you glance up at him, meeting his eyes that remained fixed on you.
"You really know how to drive me crazy," he mumbles, planting a kiss into your forehead. His hand drifts to your hip, rubbing you through your dress and not-so-subtly squeezing at the flesh of your ass.
"Sorry," you tell him with a smile. He leans in, kissing your lips this time.
"Don't be."
He gathers the fabric of your skirt, pulling it up above your hips to expose your core. His fingertips flirt with the hem of your underwear, brushing against the soft skin of your stomach.
"Is this okay—"
"Yes," you immediately answer, nodding excitedly. He smiles, slipping his hand beneath the fabric, the pads of his fingers dipping into your heat. You sigh, relaxing as he touches you, gently circling around your clit. His movements are slow, but you quickly become aroused; your chest rises and falls with deep breaths as you can't help but squirm against the bed. He pushes one finger into your hole, eliciting a small whine from your throat. He pulses it in and out slowly, but your hips begin to rock restlessly.
"More," you whisper, staring up at him with aching need. He slips a second finger in, pushing them in as deep as he can. As he fucks you he curls his fingertips, sending sparks of ecstasy shooting through your body as he easily reaches your most sensitive spot.
"Oh my gods…"
"You're so pretty," Hao murmurs as he leans in to kiss you. His lips tug hungrily at yours as he fucks his fingers into you, his tongue eventually slipping into your mouth to taste you fully. Your moans drift into his mouth, turning him on immensely. He works in and out of your cunt, your juices coating his hand as you drip with arousal. He recalls the sweet flavor of your pussy from last night, and he simply has to taste you again. He pulls his fingers out and lifts them to his lips, shoving them in his mouth and sucking your juices off — delicious, but he's nowhere near satiated.
"You're incredible," he praises as he quickly takes his place between your legs, yanking your underwear off with urgent haste. Immediately his mouth is on you; he flattens his tongue, licking a thick stripe over your slit. You bunch your skirt up in your hands, making sure you can enjoy the view — and gods is it a sight to see. Hao's tongue dances around your folds with expertise, lapping up the incessant wetness dripping from your core.
"Never tasted anything better," he mumbles into your pussy.
With that he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently as his fingers take their place inside you again. The pressure against your g-spot combined with the delicate suction upon your stimulated bud kindles a fire in your gut, overwhelming pleasure building and burning white-hot throughout you whole body.
"Hao," you whine, trying to tell him how good it feels, but your release quickly overtakes you. You cum on his face and fingers with an explosion of blissful moans, his name slipping out a few more times in a way that makes his cock throb.
You brush your fingers through his hair as he releases your clit. He carefully retrieves his fingers from inside you, licking the glistening wetness off his hand; he then returns to your cunt, dragging his tongue slowly as he wastes not a single drop of you.
"Kiss me," you mutter softly. He flicks his tongue against your hole for a few more seconds before rising, crawling up to you and pressing his lips into yours. His cock is hard, straining against the fabric of his pants and forming a heavy bulge. You reach for it as he kisses you, stroking his length slowly through the thick canvas, making him moan into your mouth.
"Please fuck me," you beg quietly against his lips.
"Of course, darling," he mumbles through another kiss.
You make quick work of removing his pants, freeing his stiff cock, running your thumb over its reddened, leaking tip. He does not bother to fully undress; in the blink of an eye he is rubbing the head over your pussy, wetting it and making you whimper at the stimulation to your still-throbbing clit.
"Need to feel you," you groan quietly, wriggling your hips as you try to lower yourself onto his cock.
"My baby's so needy," he hums, his dark eyes staring down at you with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. Without warning he slips it inside you, making you whine sharply, a pleasurable sensation of fullness overcoming you as he sinks his full length deep into your cunt.
"Never wanna leave this perfect pussy," he mutters into your ear, nipping at your earlobe gently as he begins to drag his cock back out, nearly all the way, then plunging into you again. You let out a loud moan, and he's certain he could cum from the sound alone. He pumps his cock in and out, trying his hardest to go slowly, but the sensation of your walls squeezing against him tightly is overwhelmingly divine.
"More," you plead, gazing up at him with watering eyes.
"You want more, baby?" he croons, fucking you faster now.
"Yes," you moan desperately.
"Gonna fill you up, darling," he promises as he grabs your thighs, lifting them up and over as he practically folds you in half. His cock can reach even deeper now, flooding your eyes with tears at the overwhelming pleasure.
"Tell me you want my cum," he orders sweetly.
"I want it," you whine.
"Tell me this pussy is all mine."
"It's yours, baby."
"Good girl," his voice rumbles, low and husky through his heavy breaths. He gut burns with desire, his release imminent. A few more powerful thrusts and his climax overtakes him, his body stilling except for his pulsing cock spilling his cum inside you and his chest that heaves with racing breaths.
"Fuck," he groans, cock throbbing with a final few bursts of hot white ropes. "Fuck, your pussy is so good."
He catches his breath, slowly pulling his cock out of you, careful not to let his cum spill onto your dress. He fetches a towel, quickly cleaning you off before climbing back into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his embrace.
You lay there in silence, thinking. You feel Hao's gaze locked onto you; lifting your head you greet him face-to-face, finding intensity in his eyes but also softness.
"What are you thinking?" you ask him softly, running your hand beneath his shirt to grasp at his waist. He stares at you curiously for a moment, but then he shakes his head.
"Nothing," he tells you, planting a kiss on your forehead. "You should really get some rest, we'll need to leave at the break of dawn to get you back safely."
You know he's right, but your heart still sinks.
"What if I don't?"
His head tilts, brow furrowing at you with confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asks softly.
"What if I want to stay here with you?"
His eyes darken, but he just shakes his head. He rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling seemingly deep in thought.
"It's too dangerous," he says quietly. "There's nothing here for you."
"There's you," you tell him quietly, brushing your fingertips against his hand. He seems to stiffen — an unexpectedly cold gesture.
"Don't say that to me," he grumbles, averting your gaze.
"Why not?" you ask, tracing light circles onto the back of his hand.
His jaw clenches for a moment.
"Because," he sighs. "I'd let you stay. Forever, if you asked."
Your palm drifts to his torso, resting your hand atop his stomach.
"Maybe that's what I want."
He shakes his head. "I can't let you do that, Rosie. I'm sorry."
You lay in silence for a minute or so. The terrible sounds from out in the woods have begun again, furious winds against the cottage's exterior that perturb you, animalistic howling that chills you to your core.
"My name isn't actually Rosie," you tell him quietly. He perks up slightly, but still doesn't look at you. "I have been called that before — it was an old childhoodhood nickname. I was known for stealing flowers from every garden in town, the neighbors did not appreciate it one bit," you smile. "But my name is really y/n."
"Why are you telling me this now?" he questions.
"You were a stranger deep in the dark woods, and I was scared. I wasn't sure if I could trust you before," you admit.
He rests his hand atop yours, rubbing your skin softly.
"And what makes you think you can trust me now?"
It is uttered barely more than a whipser, but your stomach drops.
"W-what?" you stammer, your heartbeat beginning to accelerate in your chest. He slips his hand into yours, fingers intertwining as you lay there, frozen with anxiety.
You think back to how you got here in the first place: the mysterious cat, the voice in the wind leading you astray. All of it suspicious, sure, but you hadn't really given it much thought before — you were a bit busy trying not to get killed, and then spending intimate time with Hao…
"It was you," you say to the man laying beside you, voice small and shaky as the realization sinks in. "You led me astray."
"Beautiful and smart," he says calmly, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. He turns his head, greeting you with those dark eyes that pierce right into your soul. "Yes, it was me. I lured you in the wrong direction."
You stare back at him, frightened and enamored and feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions that shouldn't go together.
"Why?" you finally ask, the word whispered faintly as you remained trapped in his alluring gaze.
Hao looks at you as if deep in thought, staring back silently for a few moments.
"I'm not entirely sure," he admits at last. "You just were so beautiful out there — strolling through the woods lithely, foraging your mushrooms without a care in the world. I simply had to know more."
"But… how did you even do that? The voice in the wind, I mean. It called to me, almost as if by magic—"
You stop, horror washing over you as the pieces of the puzzle suddenly all clicking into place in your head. There was only one reason why anyone would be living this deep in the woods in the first place, and you cannot believe it didn't dawn on you sooner.
"You never told me why you live out here," you utter cautiously under your breath. Hao smiles softly, though it is a somber smile.
"I knew you would figure it out before long," he says, releasing your hand in favor of cradling your face in his palm. His touch is warm against your cool skin, yet you shiver. "I live here because I was banished those 400 years ago — all for the crime of seeking justice when no one else would."
Your eyes widen. You had already figured he was one of the magic-users of the old tales, but justice? That can only mean…
"You're the evil witch?!" you stammer in disbelief.
"Sorcerer, darling," he corrects. "We prefer the term sorcerer. As for evil… well, that's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?"
"So you're the one who poisoned all those people," you say, glowering back at him. "I'd say murder is pretty evil."
"I never harmed anyone who didn't deserve it," he says calmly, but you can tell a deep, honest anger is stewing within him. "Those people who received the unfortunate potions were worthless bastards, violent, abusive drunks who treated their wives and children like they were worthless — men that were truly the scum and filth of society."
He pauses, heavy breaths escaping him in his resentment. He stares past you now, his mind hundreds of years in the past.
"I ran the town's apothecary shop. People came to me for all sorts of reasons, seeking everything from common cold cures to tinctures that could calm their nerves. But soon I came to realize a disturbing trend: many women would come in bearing injuries, claiming them to be from household mishaps. But I saw the fear in their eyes — these were no accidents. I mended their wounds and sent them on their way, but I hated that there was nothing else I could do. One very late night a woman actually came to my home, banging on back door and sobbing inconsolably. She had the worst bruises I'd ever seen, accompanied by a broken rib and a wholly shattered spirit. Her husband had very nearly killed her, and she came to me in search of anything that could ease the pain — but I had seen enough. I gave her a small vial and told her to slip it into her husband's coffee; he died the very next day of heart failure. Nobody suspected a thing. Other women came started visiting me, looking for solutions to problems of their own. I was discrete, treading with caution as not to draw attention to myself. Nobody could prove a damn thing, but the town council had always had it out for me. One day a councilman was bucked off his horse and trampled to death; I had nothing to do with that, but they blamed me anyway. Said I placed a curse on him — trust me, if I had thought of that I would've done it sooner." His jaw clenches, tensed by the sour memories. "Never liked him anyway."
Your head spins as you process Hao's words. He admits he killed all those people, and you fucking slept with him. The thought makes your stomach curdle. But if what he says is true, you're not sure if you can really blame him.
"So, they banished you."
"They gave me one of two options: immediate banishment, or being hung at the gallows." He lets out a single huff of a laugh. "Some options, really. Anyone else who was known to have ever so much as attempted to conjur a spell was banished alongside me. Many were angry with me, while others sympathized. But regardless, we all set out for the deep woods of the Northernlands. A new village was formed, but I stayed out here, far from the others. Figured it was for the best that I kept to myself from then on. They went on with their lives, but eventually most of them grew old and died."
"But not you," you say quietly.
"But not me."
"So, you're immortal then."
He shakes his head. "Not quite. But I certainly have a much longer lifespan than the others. As far as I know, there may be a few still out there, but we all keep to ourselves now."
"But, how??"
Hao turns to you, a sly grin appearing on his face.
"Magic, my love."
You lay in silence together for a few minutes. Hao still holds your hand, and for reasons you can't explain, you let him.
"I have one more question," you eventually speak. "Did you drug me this morning?"
Hao is silent, but that's enough of an answer for you.
Eventually, you drift off to sleep. Hao doesn't sleep a wink.
You wake at the brink of dawn at Hao shaking you gently.
"Y/n, wake up."
"Hmm?" you question, popping one eye barely-open.
"You have to leave."
You yawn, not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed. "Right now?"
"Yes, right away."
He pulls the covers off, the coldness of the cottage hitting you abruptly. Reluctantly you allow him to help you up; he hurriedly fetches your boots and cloak.
"Why the rush?" you inquire as you lace up your shoes. Rising to your feet again, he wraps your cloak around you, unanswering. He walks you to the door, handing you your basket of puffballs.
"Hao—" you start, but he shakes his head, opening the door escorting you out.
"Go," he speaks quietly, staring solemnly down at the ground. "Before I try and stop you."
"How will I—"
"You'll know the way," he cuts you off. "Just follow your instincts."
He starts to shut the door, but you reach up and stop it before it closes.
"How can I ever find you again?"
He looks up, gazing back at you through the slim crack in the doorway.
"You shan't," he answers.
"Well I'm going to," you reply, refusing to accept that you will never see him again. He smiles sadly, but says nothing else. The door shuts, and you are once again alone in the woods.
You try not to cry as you start off through the trees again. You don't really know where you're going, and the forest's canopy is too dense for you to tell from where the sun is rising; but through the softly filtered dawn light, you set off in the direction that feels the most like south.
You walk for ten minutes or so in nearly complete silence. There is no breeze, no birds singing; no other signs of life to be seen.
Probably for the better, you think to yourself, remembering the fright you felt two nights ago as you were stalked by the mysterious beasts. But just as the thought passes through your mind, your ears tingle at the rustling coming from the nearby brush. You freeze, unsure if you should be still or simply run for it, but the creeping fear rising in your gut has your feet seemingly glued to the forest floor. You stare at the bush; whatever is in there seems small, but that doesn't necessarily quell your anxiety. Suddenly a pair of glowing eyes appears through the leaves, followed by a small furry creature pouncing out before you. You jump, but recognize the soft brown fur as your feline friend from before.
"Hey there," you say to the familiar animal, leaning down to pet it. "You almost scared me, cat."
The cat rubs against your legs, circling you a few times before heading off in a slightly different direction than you were headed. You watch it walk away, but after a few meters it stops, turning back around to stare at you. The cat makes no sound, but its eyes gaze at you intensely, as if saying follow me.
And so you follow after the cat through the woods. You walk and walk, eventually starting to wonder if it were a mistake to blindly follow after an animal, but soon the familiar sound of gently-flowing water pricks against your ears. Sure enough, a few moments later the Outer Creek comes into sight. You rush towards it, grinning ecstatically as your home forest comes into view. The cat stops before creek, sitting next to a sequence of large rocks you can easily use to hop across the water.
"Thank you," you say to the creature, kneeling down to pet it. It purrs gently, then with a swoosh of its tail knocks your basket out of your hand.
"Hey! You troublemaker," you say to the cat as you scramble to grab your mushrooms before they fall into the creek, but it's already prancing off. As you return the puffballs to the basket, a brief glimmer of something shiny at the bottom catches your eye. You reach in, hand closing around something small and metallic; as you pull it out you realize that it is a compass. It looks antique, with ornate designs etched into its polished gold exterior, but something seems slightly off about it. You rise to your feet again, turning in a circle and watching the needle swivel in a direction that is not north; instead, it points back into the forest — pointing in the direction you just came from.
Standing there at the edge of the brush is the cat. It watches you with a familiar gaze, staring at you knowingly. You grin softly, tucking the compass into your coat pocket for safekeeping. The cat watches as you hop across the stones in the river, making it safely to the otherside — home at last.
You look back at the cat one final time. It watches you for a few more moments, as if saying goodbye, then turns, disappearing into the dense foliage once again.
Contains explicit content that may not be applicable or uncomfortable for some readers
Pairing: Minghao x Oc
Language: Filipino/English
This work is pure fictional, I do not intent to ruin the image of any individual mention in this story. Stay delusional!
Disclaimer: not proofread, typos and grammatical errors ahead! Ignore the dates and years, I don't have time to calculate huhu forgive me. Im not confident in my writing but I hope you still like it😕
Read this! It's okay if you read this this first before that
A/n: natapos din sa wakas! Sana basahin niyo even though medyo cringe yung ibang part dahil im unfamiliar with somethings, awa na lang kaka first year college ko lang huhu😭 naputulan pa kami ilaw putangina talaga stress talaga.
First time posting a whole novel here, so I appreciate if you take your time to read this and leave a like 😢
You seem avoidant for a girl who yearns to be loved
"Yes, Minghao."
The photobooth screen flashed, capturing Minghao's shocked face to just what he heard right now.
He is stunned; he couldn't process anything at the moment.
Yanna smiled, the girl he's been courting for months now. She grabbed the printed picture below the screen, grinning and laughing at the last picture that the photobooth had taken. She thinks it was epic to see Minghao's reaction when she said yes. This is going to be a good tease in the future, she thought.
She faced Minghao, chuckling at his reaction. "Hoy, ano na?" Yanna asked, snapping her fingers trying to snap him out of it.
Minghao got back in reality, shaking his head to make sure again he wasn't dreaming. "Teka nga-- what do you mean y-yes?" Minghao stutters, making sure he got it right. He put both of his hands into her shoulders "Yanna, tell me it was what I was thinking"
Yanna nodded while smiling "Yes Hao. As in sinasagot na kita. That means tayo na, boyfriend na kita, in relationship, o ano pa man gusto mong sabihin-" Minghao hugged Yanna, giggling at his sudden action.
They pulled away from the hug. "Tangina, totoo ba 'to?' kasi kung nanaginip lang ako pwede ba pakigising na 'ko?" Yanna laughed at his corny response.
She began to shake her head and playfully rolled her eyes "Oo nga, ang kulit mo naman—" Minghao who can't contain his happiness, suddenly cut her off by putting his lips into hers.
They catch their breath after the kiss, putting their forehead into each other, smiling and laughing like an idiot.
"I love you. I promise, you will never regret being with me, I will give you my whole life if you wanted me to." Minghao broke the silence, on the verge of tears.
"I know Hao, I know. I love you too." Yanna cupped his face, looking at it, admiring every little detail of his feautures.
3 years had passed since then.
Nothing really changed the way Minghao treated Yanna throughout the years; he had always been a good boyfriend and a good partner, and never once gave Yanna a problem.
Minghao gave it all he's got, his love, his everything, even his whole existence was dedicated to Yanna at this point.
What else could've gone wrong?
"Babe, punta lang ako kila migs. Inuman lang kami." Minghao has asked for permission from his girlfriend for 3 years now, and all he got was a nod. Nanonood ngayon si Yanna sa tv habang nagcecellphone.
Minghao waited for his gf response, but he just stood there while watching Yanna scroll through her cellphone, eating a snack. "Um, love if you don't want me to go just tell me. Okay lang naman na wag na akong pumunta don" Minghao sits beside Yanna, putting his hands around her waist, hoping she will stop him to go out.
And Yanna did not even bother to look at him and just wave her hand to his face.
"Love?" Minghao said again, trying to get her attention. Yanna just laughs while messaging her friends, dismmising his boyfriend, acting like he was not even around.
Minghao performed a long sigh, starting to get annoyed. Halos araw araw na lang tong nangyayari, parang hindi na sila mag-jowa. Parang na lang silang mga boarder na nakikitira sa isang bahay.
Still, Minghao tries to keep his cool, trying not to get swayed by his annoyance. Though never naman siyang nagalit, nainis, o kahit nga sigaw never niyang nagawa kay Yanna.
In his defence, hindi naman ganito ang girlfriend niya nung mga simula ng taon nagsama sila, hell he didn't even know where it started. She changed little by little, and Minghao did not even notice it.
"Oh, kala ko ba aalis ka?" Yanna said when she noticed Minghao is still in the house, looking down at he's hands while playing with it. She did a short glance to him and continue at what she is doing.
Pinilit ni Minghao ngumiti at tumingin ulit sa gf niya. "A-ahh, oo nga love hahaha. Inuman lang kami ni Migs, babalik naman ako agad eh."
"Sige, wag ka palasing." tumawa ulit ito habang nakatingin sa phone, na para bang walang siyang pake sa kung sino ang kasama niya.
Napatunganga lang si Minghao kay Yanna for about a second and slowly realized that maybe, she doesn't care anymore. "Babe, do we have a problem?" hindi na napigilan ni Minghao magtanong. Nakangiti lang ito ng malungkot habang nakatingin kay Yanna.
That sentence makes her stop at whatever she's doing. Finally, he got her attention. The attention he's craving for.
"Why would you think that, Minghao?"
Minghao looks at Yanna's cold emotions. He no longer sees the shine; it's all empty and dark. Even in that short response he got sad—more like hurt. Hurt that she doesn't even notice how much she is stabbing him without her noticing.
Hinawakan na lang ni Minghao ang kamay ni Yanna, feeling the heat of her palm. Putting it to his cheeks, making her caressed his face. "I love you"
Please say it back
"I love you."
Napangiti si Minghao ng mapait. Bakit ang sakit marinig ng mga salitang 'yon? Dapat nga masaya siya na sinabi ni Yanna ito, ngunit bat hindi niya maramdaman?
Binawi ni Yanna ang kamay niya sa mukha ni Minghao na parang walang nangyari. "Sige na, umalis ka na, baka naghihintay na mga kaibigan mo don." sabi ni Yanna na walang anumang pag-aalala o pake.
Sa buong buhay ni Minghao, never siyang kinawawa ng mga tao. But why when it comes to his gf, tingin niya sa sarili niya mas kawawa pa siya sa mga nanlilimos?
Binigyan niya nalang ng halik si Yanna sa pisingi for the last time bago siya umalis "Matulog ka na lang if inaantok ka na, wag mo na akong hintayin, okay? Sige alis na ako"
Hindi na binigyan ng tingin ni Yanna si Minghao. Tumayo nalang ang binata at umalis na.
---
"Tangina, Hao. Tama na yan." sinubukan ni Donna pigilan si Minghao na nilalaklak ang buong bote ng alak na naubos niya, na siya namang di nagpatinag.
Nangungulila kase siya sa Girlfriend niyang buhay naman, pero parang multo kung umakto. Binawi ni Mingyu ang bote sa kamay ni Minghao "Pare tama na yan" sabi nito sa'kaniya at inalayo na ng mga ibang kaibigan nila ang tray ng mga alak para hindi na siya makainom.
Wala na siyang nagawa kundi umiyak ng umiyak na lang sa mga kaibigan niya. Donna puts her hands on his back, trying to comfort him.
"Putangina mga pare, may pagkukulang ba ako? Meron bang problema sa'kin? Tangina, ang sakit sakit na." tumahimik lang ang lahat at tanging naririnig lang ang hikbi ni Minghao.
"okay naman kami dati ah, bakit siya ganto? Ewan ko ba kung may iba na siya eh. Pucha baka ako pa nga magmakaawa kung meron mang bago" patuloy niyang pagrarant sa mga kaibigan niya. Tahimik lang ang lahat, dinadamayan ang warak na puso ni Minghao.
Donna stood up and broke the silence "Alam mo, hatid na kita sa bahay niyo. Lasing ka na." hinila ni Donna si Minghao patayo at sumunod naman ito.
"Ikaw bestfriend, tingin mo ba may problema sa'kin? Ha? Sumagot ka. Mahal mo ba ako?" lasing na tanong ni Minghao kay Donna na siyang nagaalalay sa kaniya.
"Oo naman." nahihirapang sagot ni Donna habang inaalalayan ang lasing na kaibigan. Ngumiti lang dito si Minghao habang binubuhat siya ni Donna sa braso.
"Buti pa ikaw mahal ako, siya kaya?"
"Puta! Hoy, tulungan niyo ako dito, ang bigat!" sigaw ni Donna na hindi pinansin ang sinabi ng lasing na bff niya. Tinawanan naman siya ng mga ibang kaibigan niya bago siya tulungan ng isa sa kanila.
They walk through the way until they reach the gate, huffing and grunting while helping and guiding Minghao to reach the car. "Hay naku, ano bang nangyayari sayo. Dapat kasi ako na lang eh" Donna muttered some words out of nowhere.
Tumawa naman si Seungkwan—ang tumulong na kaibigan sa narinig.
"Ako na nga lang maghahatid dito, baka di ka makapagpigil, umamin ka sa lasing mong bestfriend." Donna just smirked, scoffing at what he said.
"Ulol, kaya ko naman umamin kahit hindi siya lasing, alam ko lang talaga ang boundary ko kaya wala akong choice kundi mag shut up" she fix his position once more sa inuupuan niya.
"Yanna I love you so much, please tell me you love me too" Minghao suddenly spoke that make the two look at his drunk situation.
Tumahimik ang paligid. Pinagmasdan lang ni Seungkwan ang kaibigan niyang dalawa. He begins to observe whats happening between the two:
Si Donna na may gusto sa kaibigan niyang matagal na patuloy pa ring umaasa na balang isang araw, baka may pag-asa pa siya.
Eto naman si Minghao, nagpapakatanga sa taong hindi naman niya alam kung mahal pa rin ba siya.
Iniling na lang ni Seungkwan ang ulo niya sa mga naisip niya.
Seungkwan awkwardly put his hands around his nape.
Pinilit Ngumiti ni Donna sa narinig. Bumuntong hininga ito bago magsalita "Mahal ka rin ng girlfriend mo. Bobo niya nalang kung sasayangin ka pa niya."
Ngumiti si Minghao ng tipid ng marinig ito. "Talaga? Mahal ako ng girlfriend ko? Sana nga totoo" Donna nodded, combing his hair, putting away the strands of it that got wet from sweat into his forehead.
Unti unti namang pinagmasdan ni Donna ang pagpikit ni Minghao, at hinintay ang pagtulog nito.
Unti unting nawala ang ngiti ni Donna sa mga labi. Napatingin siya kay Seungkwan na agad naman siyang niyakap ng mapansin ang malungkot na postura ng kaibigan. "O ano, ikaw na ba maghahatid or ako na?"
"Ikaw na. Baka magmakaawa ako kay Yanna na ibigay si Hao sa'kin. Hay nako, once talagang binatawan niya siya, hinding hindi na siya makakabalik tignan mo" sabi nito na nagpatawa kay Seungkwan.
Silence swallow them for a minute before Seungkwan push Donna by her shoulders, pushing her away from the hug.
"sige na, pumasok ka na sa bahay."
"Ihatid mo 'to ng maayos ah." Seungkwan just rolled his eyes at Donna's reminders.
"Oo na. Dami mong ebas, bff ka lang naman. Saan karapatan natin?" Agad itinaas ni Donna ang gitnang daliri sa sinabi ng kaibigan.
"Gago, hahaha"
Pumasok na lang si Seungkwan sa sasakyan at hindi pinansin ito.
"Hoy! Balik mo maayos sasakyan ko ah! Tangina mo kapag may bangga yan, sasagasaan kita habang natutulog ka!" sigaw ni Donna habang paalis ang sasakyan.
---
Minghao sobered up throughout the ride. Since he got some sleep, he insisted na kaya niya ng pumunta sa condo niya magisa.
Seungkwan asks and makes sure if he's okay with it one last time and he just smiles and insists that he go back again with his friends.
Lasing pa rin naman siya, kaya he pushed himself to be okay para hindi magalala ang girlfriend niya. Kahit naman papaano, meron pa rin sa part niya na umaasa na kahit katiting na pake mula sa gf niya, okay na siya don.
Sususian niya na sana ang pintuan ng bumukas ito. Nagulat si Yanna ng makita ang boyfriend niya na maga ang mata. Nagalala ito, pero hindi niya pinahalata.
Pinilit ni Minghao ngumiti "Hello babe, sabi ko wag mo na akong hintayin diba?" he managed to speak straightly.
"Umiyak ka ba?— hay, whatever pasok ka na lang" umalis na si Yanna sa harapan niya at sinundan lang ito ni Minghao papasok.
Minghao sat at the dining chair, watching Yanna grab a glass of water from the kitchen. "Oh, tubig"
Kinuha ni Minghao ang baso kay Yanna. Pinanood lang siya ng kasintahan niya uminom. "Kung hindi na kasi kaya itigil na. Bakit ka ba uminom ng marami—" natigil ang pagsasalita ni Yanna ng ibagsak ni Minghao ang baso sa lamesa, at niyakap siya.
Naramdaman ni Yanna ang hikbi at luha ni Minghao. Sinubukan niyang ilayo ito pero hinigpitan lang ni Minghao ang yakap "Yanna, baby I miss you."
Napangiti naman si Yanna sa mga sinabi ni Minghao. She cleared her throat and tries to talk again.
"Hao—" natigil ang pagsasalita niya ng biglang tumayo si Minghao at hinalikan ito. Nabigla si Yanna sa nangyari kaya napasinghap at napaatras siya.
Pinigilan ni Yanna ang kasintahan pero natulak siya sa dingding kaya nakulong siya sa mga bisig niya.
Medyo may diin at agresibo ang halik ni Minghao kaya medyo hindi makahinga si Yanna. "Hao—mffhhh— what the fuc— hmfff— stop!" she finally pushed her boyfriend.
Nahimasmasan naman ang lasing na si Minghao sa nangyari. He watched her girlfriend catch her breath. Napasuklay siya sa kaniyang buhok, frustrated at what he did "Shit, Yanna i-im so sorry" sinubukan niyang lumapit pero lumayo agad si Yanna.
Nagulat si Minghao ng biglang sinampal siya ni Yanna. Napahawak ang binata sa kaniyang mapulang pisngi. Alam naman niya ang mali niyang ginawa, kaya he understands if she reacts this way.
"Forgive me Yanna, I didn't mean to do that—" Yanna cupped the boys face and continue the kiss that was interupted. This time, Minghao is the one gasping, holding his girlfriend's waist and let her deepen the kiss.
No one stopped. They just let their bodies be fully consumed by lust.
It was a hot night, and here they are, in their bed, having sex or making love as you call it. Finally, for the first time in months, they're doing it again. A proper one this time.
"Shit! Ughh, I love your body Yanna— I love you" He said while he was in her shoulders, rocking his hips into Yanna's body.
Yanna only answered with a moan, grabbing slightly into his hair. Minghao looked at Yanna's pleasured face and he cant help to admired her beauty. "Baby, you're so pretty" he kissed her lips, interwining his tongue into her.
"Love, cum inside me please" Minghao's heart jumps when his girlfriend calls him with his callsign he never thought he will hear again. It feels like forever.
He smiled, feeling hotter and in the mood to tease her horny gf "Say you love me first."
She groaned, desperately wants to feel her bf's liquid. She cums again for the third time. Minghao felt it. Ginanahan siyang pabilisin ang pagbayo na nagpatirik sa mata ni Yanna. "I love you, say you love me, please baby pleasepleaseplease" Minghao whines, nuzzling into her neck.
"I love you so much Hao. Kaya punuin mo na ako ng tamod mo. Paramdam mo sa'kin kung gano mo ako kamahal" she said into his ear making him whimper.
He came in a second after Yanna's begging. He groans, catching his breath, making her stomach full. Bumagsak ang katawan ni Minghao sa katawan ni Yanna, at ramdam na ramdam nila ang pagtibok ng puso ng bawat isa. He felt his gf combs his hair and caressed his head. He is so exhausted by the sex and alcohol in his body that he forgot to lie on the bed, and just let himself to be on her chest. "I love you, Yanna" he managed to say.
"Mahal kita Hao. Mahal na mahal" that's the last words he heard before he doze off.
Morning came, at nagising si Minghao na wala na ang kasintahan sa tabi niya. Nagtaka naman siya ng may naamoy siyang amoy sunog sa labas ng kwarto. Tumayo siya agad para icheck at nakita niya ang galit na Yanna na pinatay ang induction cooker, at pilit na pinapaypayan ang usok para hindi umabot sa smoke detector ng condo.
"Ughh! Putangina, wag na nga lang!!!" padabog nitong nilagay ang kawali sa lababo at binuksan ang tubig.
Pinanood lang ni Minghao ang nangyari at hindi niya mapigilan matawa ng mahina.
Pumunta agad si Minghao sa likod ng gf niya para yakapin ito, trying to make her calm.
"Bakit naman galit ang baby ko? Ang aga aga eh" sabi ni Minghao habang nakapatong ang baba sa balikat niya.
Humarap siya sa boyfriend niya. Natawa na lang si Minghao ng makita niya ang nakabusangot niyang girlfriend.
"mag-order ka na lang ng food mo. Meron akong tsaa ginawa diyan, malamig na tagal mo kasing gumising eh. Para sana yan sa hangover mo." She has her crossed arms, not looking at her bf while having a mad face.
Tumawa lang si Minghao sa inaakto nito kaya mas lalong nainis si Yanna. Tinarayan lang siya nito at aaktong aalis na sana ng bigla siyang ikulong ng binata sa mga bisig nito na nakapatong sa lababo.
"Ano ba?" galit na sabi ni Yanna.
Binigyan ni Minghao ng halik si Yanna sa labi "Lutuan mo ulit ako." he tuck her hair into her ears.
Galit pa rin ang mukha ni Yanna na nakatingin sa mata ni Minghao "Baka masunog ulit, sayang naman yung mga pagkain. Binubudget nga natin yung pera natin diba?"
"Kahit na. Gusto ko pa rin matikman luto mo. Kaya, can you please cook for me po, again?" Niliitan naman siya ng mata ng dalaga at wala ng nagawa Ito kundi bumuntong hiniga na lang. She cant resist those puppy eyes.
Tumango ng mabagal si Yanna na nagpangiti kay Minghao.
Hindi na naman alam ni Minghao kung anong nakain ng girlfriend niya at nag-iba na naman ang pakikitungo nito dito. He isn't complaining though, sana nga lang magtuloy tuloy.
Pinanonood lang ni Minghao ang gf niyang nagluluto kahit tinatamaan pa siya ng hangover niya, he still managed to watch his girlfriend.
Natapos ang pagluluto ng may tawanan at asaran, at wala ng mahihiling si Minghao kundi makita ng ganito ang girlfriend niya ulit.
Masaya niyang tinikman ang itlog at bacon na niluto ng gf niya kahit pa ito ay walang lasa at maalat. Hinintay ni Yanna ang feedback nito at pinagmasdan ang itsura ni Minghao habang nakain.
"Ano? Masarap?" kinakabahang tanong ni Yanna. Tinignan ni Minghao ang girlfriend niya na pinipilit lunukin ang pagkain at ngumiti. Makunat pa ang bacon at maalat. Ang itlog naman ay may unting shells pa pero kahit ganon man, eto na ata ang pinakamasarap na nakain ni Minghao sa buong buhay niya. Tumango siya at nag thumbs up pa.
Masaya naman siyang niyakap ng girlfriend niya sa likod at nalusaw naman dito si Minghao. "Yey! I love you Lovie, im glad you like it."
Napahawak naman si Minghao sa bisig ng girlfriend niya habang nakayakap ito sakaniya. "Of course love, I love you too."
Parang gusto umiyak ni Minghao. Ito lang naman ang hinihiling niya, ang maramdaman ulit ang ganitong pagmamahal mula sa kaniya.
---
Kinabukasan, nagising ulit si Minghao na wala sa tabi ang girlfriend niya. Ngumiti siya at inaasahan niyang nagluluto ulit ito, pero nang lumabas siya, nakauniform na ito at nagaayos ng gamit.
Yayakap na sana siya ng ilinayo ni Yanna ang kaniyang sarili "Not now Hao." Sabi nito at pumunta na sa pintuan upang umalis.
Napapikit na lang si Minghao at bumuntong hininga.
"Busy lang kase siya, 'yaan mo na. Mahal ka pa rin naman non" pagcocomfort niya sa sarili. Umupo siya sa sofa at hinilamos ang kaniyang mukha.
SI Minghao ay isang estudyante pa na may side hustle bilang social media manager, kaya naman nasa bahay lang siya most of the time dahil last year na rin naman niya in college kaya maluwag luwag na rin ang kaniyang schedule.
Kumuha pa kasi siya ng masteral dahil sobrang bored niya sa buhay kaya nagawa niya pang kumuha nito. Medyo may kaya rin kasi siya sa buhay pero ayaw niyang maging pabigat kay Yanna.
Tapos naman na lahat ang pinapagawa ng client kaya naisipan niyang hintayin nalang si Yanna.
Magagabi na so he is starting to get sleepy. But he push himself to wake himself up para maabutan niya ang girlfriend niya. Pinagluto niya kasi at alam niyang workaholic si Yanna kaya hindi na kumakain ito tuwing gabi. Pero hindi niya namalayan na nakatulog na pala siya sa sofa kahit malakas ang volume ng tv.
Nagising siya ng marinig niya ang susi na labis sinusubukang ipasok at buksan ang pinto. Hinintay niya ang pintuan bumukas dahil alam niyang si Yanna lang yon. Ngunit mag iisang minuto na, hindi pa rin ito bumubukas, kaya naisipan niya ng lumapit dito at tulungan na.
Bumungad naman sa kaniya ang pagod na Yanna. Walang emosyong tumingin ito sa mata niya. Pumasok lang ito ng hindi pinapansin ang binata at dumiretso sa kusina.
Pinagmasdan at kinakapa ni Minghao ang mood ng girlfriend niya, at halatang wala itong balak makipagusap. Kaya naman bilang boyfriend, naisipan niyang kamustahin ito at yakapin sa likod, para naman kahit papaano maibsan ang kaniyang pagod "Hello baby, kamusta work?" Wala siyang nakuhang sagot. Naka steady lang sila sa corner ng kusina nila, walang nagsasalita pero komportable ang katahimikan.
"Pinagluto kita ng bicol express, your favorite." Binasag ni Minghao ang katahimikan.
Mabagal namang inalis ni Yanna ang mga bisig ng kasintahan na nakayakap sa kaniya. "Hindi ako gutom."
"Pero alam kong hindi ka pa kumakain. Ayaw ko naman na malipasan ka ng gutom—"
"Tangina eh hindi nga ako gutom! Bahala ka kumain kung gusto mo. Ang kulit eh!" sumabog sa galit si Yanna at nagtungo na sa kwarto nila. Naiwang nakatengga sa kusina na si Minghao.
Tumingin si Minghao sa nakatakip na pagkain, at ngumiti na naman ng malungkot
Kala ko ba okay na kami?
Nawala na rin siya ng gana kumain at nilagay nalang sa ref ang mga niluto niya. For sure naman kakainin pa rin naman nila ito kinabukasan. Nakakalungkot lang isipin na nasayang di lang ang pagkain, pati ang efforts niya. Pero okay lang yon kay Minghao, basta malaman lang ni Yanna na pinagluto siya, masaya na siya roon.
---
1 week ding hindi nagpapansinan ang magkasintahan—si Yanna lang pala dahil si Minghao eto na naman, nangungulila sa taong buhay pa. Trying his best to understand and keep this relationship of them. Kahit ano namang mangyari hindi pa rin naman siya susuko.
Ayon nga lang, tao lang din si Minghao, napapagod din sa ganitong set up nila. One day papansinin siya, magsesex sila, magbobonding, maguusap, magyayakapan and then boom, wala na namang pansinan the next day.
Kahit ganito man, he still loved her. Hindi niya kayang makipaghiwalay, siya na ang nakatakdang babae sa kaniya sa isipan niya at hinding hindi na ito magbabago.
Wala eh, sirang sira na ang self-worth niya. Wala ng natirang self-love, puro kay Yanna niya na nabigay.
Sabado ngayon kaya nandito silang dalawa sa sala. Nakaupo, at gumagawa ng kaniya-kaniyang gawain. Si Yanna, gumagawa ng presentation for her upcoming project sa work, si Minghao eto, parang nakikitira at pinipilit nalang ang sarili niya sa loob ng condo na pinili nila.
Feeling ni Minghao sa tuwing magkasama sila, meron ng mabigat sa pagitan nila. He tried his best to keep up with this relationship, hindi niya nga alam kung nasa relasyon pa ba siya.
"Ah babe? Gusto mo nood tayo ng movie pagkatapos mo diyan? Balita ko maganda yung mga palabas sa cine eh." masayang pagyaya ni Minghao, sinusubukang makabonding si Yanna.
"Sorry love, im busy. Next time na lang siguro" she said still looking at her laptop.
He nodded, thinking of another plan to make his girlfriend make time for him "Ah ganon ba? What if kain na lang tayo sa labas—"
Minghao's words were cutted by the ring of Yanna's phone. Dali dali naman agad ito sinagot ni Yanna "Hello—Oh, Yes ma'am— Okay, So Mr..." bumuntong hininga si Minghao pinanood si Yanna malamon ng trabaho niya. Hindi niya na tinapos marinig at matapos si Yanna. Pumunta na lang siya sa kwarto nila at humiga.
Naisipan tawagan ni Minghao si Donna, ang bestfriend niya since highschool. Para naman kahit papaano maibsan ang lungkot niya.
*ring*
"Uy ano hao, napatawag ka?"
Tahimik lang si Minghao. Hindi niya alam ang sasabihin. "Hello? Uy Tol, jan ka pa ba?" sagot ulit ni Donna.
Hindi namalayan ni Minghao na may tumutulo na pala sa pisngi niya, kaya pinunasan niya agad iyon at sinubukang sumagot sa phone "D-Donna..." suminghot siya kaya naman narinig 'to ng bestfriend niya.
Hinintay lang ni Donna ang sunod na sasabihin ni Minghao. Sanay na rin siya na ginagawa siyang pampalubag loob ni Minghao. Kahit masakit okay lang, basta nandiyan parati siya sa bff niya.
"Tangina pare, hindi ko na alam." humikbi si Minghao ng mahina.
"Parang ako na lang ang lumalaban sa relasyon namin Dons." pagpapatuloy niya.
Narinig niyang may nag buntong hininga sa kabilang linya. "Bakit ayaw mo kasing kausapin? Sabihin mo kung anong nararamdaman mo, baka naman nagloloko na yan di mo lang alam—"
"Hindi magagawa yon ni Yanna, Donna" pagpuputol ni Minghao kay Donna. Pinunasan niya ulit ang mga luha at umupo sa kama.
"Okay? chill bro. Im just saying. Sa bipolar niyong relasyon, kilala niyo pa ba ang isa't isa? Sige, matanong ko sayo, alam mo pa ba ang nangyayari sa buhay ni Yanna? Ay, wag mo nang sagutin dahil alam ko na ang sagot. Haayy nako, sumasakit ulo ko sayo Hao, stress!" napaisip si Minghao sa sinabi niya, at kung sa tutuusin lang, hindi naman palakwento si Yanna..
Napakamot nalang si Minghao sa ulo sa sinabi ni Donna. "Di ko na rin alam." he sighed and lie on the bed again.
---
Habang nakahiga si Minghao sa kama at sinusubukang magpalipas ng oras, nakatulog na pala siya.
Nagising na lang siya ng may nararamdaman siyang basa sa kaniyang leeg. He whimper when he felt the tingling sensation he feel in his neck. Nahawakan niya ang ulo ni Yanna kaya alam niyang hinahalikan siya nito.
Bumukas ang kaniyang mata at sakto namang hinalikan siya sa labi.
Napahawak siya sa bewang ng dalaga. She moves her hips in his top while her hand is travelling around his neck and chest.
Napangiti si Minghao sa ginagawa ng girlfriend niya. Kung panaginip man 'to wag na sana siyang gisingin.
Itinigil ni Yanna ang paghahalik at tinignan si Minghao. Nakita ni Minghao ang pagngiti ni Yanna. Parang ang tagal ding hindi niya nakita ito.
"I love you," Minghao heard the sentence he had been waiting for her to say.
He kissed her again, changing their postion, putting her below him. She smiles between kisses.
And here they are, again. Making love like never before. Making love like there was no gap in this relationship.
It's always like this, they always forget their problem whenever they are in bed, making a mess. Perhaps, they choose-- Minghao choose to disregard Yanna's issues.
And here they are again as usual, they finish and cuddled after, feeling the heat in each other's bodies.
He kissed her forehead, before looking into her eyes.
"I hope this night will never end," he said, tucking her hair in her ear. "Ang ganda ganda mo" he admired her beauty, tracing her features while she was in his arms.
"Bolero ka talaga." napatawa naman silang dalawa.
"I love you Yanna."
"I love you, Minghao" she cupped his face, brushing his cheeks with her thumb.
Pumikit si Minghao, pinapakaramdaman kung nanaginip ba siya. Pero hindi, totoo ito. Totoong totoo.
Nakita ni Yanna ang pagtulo ng luha ni Minghao.
Pinunansan niya ito agad. "Bakit ka umiiyak?" tanong niya kahit alam naman niya ang dahilan.
"W-wala lang. Masaya kasi ako, kasi alam kong mahal mo pa ako." napangiti si Yanna kahit may kirot sa puso niya.
Mahal na mahal. Higit pa sa inaakala mo.
"Im sorry lovie." umagos lalo ang luha ni Minghao. Niyakap niya ang girlfriend niya sa bewang at humikbi sa leeg nito.
"Why are you saying sorry. Wala ka namang kasalanan" Minghao said.
Umiyak na rin si Yanna. Kaya napuno ng hagulgol nila ang kwarto.
"Because I made you feel like you are worthless, hindi naman ako manhid para hindi ko mapansin yang nararamdaman mo." humiwalay naman si Minghao sa yakap upang tignan ang kasintahan.
"No— No babe. Don't say that." he wipes her tears using his knuckles.
"Im sorry hao, im really sorry" she sobs. She continues to say sorry and Minghao cuts her off with a kiss.
"I love you Yanna. Kahit anong gawin mo sa'kin okay lang, wala akong pake. Wag mo lang ako iiwan okay?" he looks in her deep in the eyes.
She shakes her head "Im sorry Hao. I love you, I love you so much— I hope you know that. I love you with all my heart."
"I know baby, I know." They hugged each other again.
Im sorry, I love you.
---
Minghao woke up again without Yanna by his side. He smiled remembering what happened yesterday. He was excited to go outside the bedroom, expecting to see Yanna.
But no one is around.
Nalungkot naman si Minghao pero naalala niya ang sinabi ni Yanna kagabi. Inisip nalang niya na uuwian pa rin naman siya kaya napangiti siya ulit.
Gumawa nalang ng work si Minghao na pinapagawa ng clients niya, at medyo marami rami rin ito kaya hindi niya na napansin ang oras. Magagabi na rin ng matapos niya na lahat ng gawain niya.
Nag-unat muna siya bago tumayo sa office table niya. Bigla namang nagring ang phone niya at nakita niya ang pangalan ni Yanna. May ngiti naman niyang sinagot ito. "Hi baby! Bakit ka po napatawag?" excited na tanong ni Minghao dahil hindi naman siya madalas tinatawagan ni Yanna.
Wala itong nakuhang sagot kundi malalim lang ang paghinga ang narinig niya. Nagtaka naman dito si Minghao kaya napatingin siya sa phone niya para icheck kung naka-on pa rin ba ito. "Babe?"
She cleared her throat before answering "Hao, di na muna ako uuwi diyan. Wag mo na akong hintayin, matulog ka nalang."
Nawala naman ang ngiti ni Minghao. Pero sinubukan niya pa rin hindi malungkot ang boses niya "A-ah ganon ba? Kailan ka uuwi dito? May mga damit ka ba diyan—"
"Wag mo na akong alalahanin, bye na." magsasalita pa sana si Minghao ng binabaan na siya nito.
Napaupo siya ulit sa kaniyang upuan, napahilamos ng mukha, dalawang siko ay nakapatong sa mesa. Ano na naman ba ang nangyari? Hindi rin alam ni Minghao pero sige iintindihin niya, kahit ilang beses pa.
---
Isang linggo.
Isang linggo na ang nakalipas at hindi pa rin nauwi si Yanna sa kanila.
Puno na ang message inbox ni Yanna dahil kay Minghao, pero wala pa rin itong sagot.
He makes himself busy with his work. Kumuha siya ng maraming clients para makalimutan naman kahit papaano si Yanna. Kahit pagod na pagod na siya at nahihirapan na siyang imanage ang time niya, nakukuha niya pa ring gawing mabuti ang pinapagawa sa kaniya.
Binibisita ni Donna si Minghao from time to time para kamustahin at damayan. Naaawa na nga siya dito dahil halatang pagod na ang mata nito.
Kaya pa rin naman ni Minghao, mabuti na rin 'to, at makakapagipon siya sa anniversary nila. Binabalak niya na kasing mag propose kahit ganto ang kanilang sitwasyon. 3 years naman na rin sila, mahal naman nila ang isa't isa, ano pa bang rason para hindi sila magpakasal?
Pinanghawakan niya lang ang mga sinabi ni Yanna nung nakaraan. Mahal siya nito, mahal na mahal. At hindi siya magsasawang panindigan ang mga salitang ito.
Dalawang linggo
Dalawang linggo ng hindi bumabalik si Yanna sa condo nila.
Pinabayaan lang ito ni Minghao dahil siguro naisip niya rin na may kailangan lang asikasuhin si Yanna. Hindi na rin siya makakain ng maayos at inabala na lang kaniyang sarili sa pamamagitan ng trabaho.
Niyaya siya ng mga kaibigan niyang uminom o lumabas pero tinatanggihan niya lang ito.
"You did so well Hao. My followers love your work, thank you so much!" Kahit pagod nagawa pa rin ni Minghao ngumiti sa screen ng laptop niya habang kausap ang isa niyang client. Isa itong sikat na influencer at as of now, eto ang isa sa mga bigating kliyente ni Minghao.
"Im glad you like it ma'am" he said.
"Hmm, since you did a great job how about I send you the money early?" Nakita ni Minghao na kinuha nito ang cellphone nito. "There, check your account."
Nagtaka si Minghao ng nakita niyang may nagnotify sa bank app niya at dali daling pinundot ito. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya ng makita ang higit na numbers of digits kumpara sa binibigay nito sakaniya. "M-ma'am, you dont need to do this--"
"No Hao, I insist. Since you mentioned to me you planned to propose to your girlfriend, Im going to give you a break. Treat her, buy her a nicer ring. I know she is special to you, you're working so hard. And knowing you are still studying, how do you even handle it?" Natatawang tanong ng kliyente niya, humahanga sa kasipagan ni Minghao.
Ngumiti lang ang binata sakaniya "Thank you. Thank you again Ma'am. She is special to me indeed."
Napangiti lang din ang kliyente niya, "For sure she loves you too."
Lumiwanag ang mukha ni Minghao sa sinabi nito, at nabuhayan ng loob sa nangyayaring sitwasyon ngayon sa pagitan nila. "I know, thank you again ma'am" pinatay niya na ang tawag at sinarado ang laptop.
Mahal niya pa rin ako.
3 weeks.
3 weeks after, wala pa rin si Yanna. Yet, he still tries to be optimistic.
Andito sila ni Donna sa mall, nagpasama siya dahil magkasize ng kamay sila at parehas babae si Yanna at Donna, atleast, meron siyang mapagtatanungan at mahihingan ng opinyon.
Habang nagsusukat at namimili si Minghao at Donna, some ring caught his attention. It has this beautiful design on its body, and has a gorgeous stone on the top. It was simple but elegant. He remembers Yanna, for sure magugustuhan niya 'to.
"Miss, ayon ngang ring, pwede pakikuha?" turo niya sa glass at agad namang nilabas ng employee ang singsing. Nang mahawakan niya ito, alam niya na agad na eto dapat ang bilhin niya.
Kinuha ni Minghao ang kamay ni Donna. Sinuot niya dito ang singsing, and at that moment, Donna wistfully looked at him. She was steady while watching her best friend smile, looking at her hands wearing the ring he chose.
"Kasyang kasya sayo ah, angas. Panigurado, kasya din 'to kay Yanna." iniwas ni Donna ang kaniyang tingin at binawi ang kamay niya. Hinubad niya ito dahil sobrang masakit na. Hindi yung kamay niya, kundi ang puso niya.
"Bilhin ko na ba 'to?" Minghao waits for Donna's response. "What do you think?"
Donna just nodded and forcefully smiled at him. "Kahit ano namang singsing yan, for sure sasagutin ka niya."
Minghao chuckled. "Sana nga eh" he sighed before he looked at the employee "Miss, card po"
Pinagmasdan lang ni Donna si Minghao na nakikipag-usap sa isa sa mga trabahador sa bentahan ng mga singsing, at hindi niya mapigilang mapaluha. Pinunasan niya agad ito at buti na lang busy si Minghao kaya hindi nakita ito.
This is it Donna. Sign mo na 'to, wag ka ng magpakatanga.
1 month
1 month had passed since Yanna left.
And one month has passed since Minghao left a message and made a bunch of calls, leaving Yanna with a bunch of them.
He is so tired keeping his hopes up. Asan na ba si Yanna? Iniwan na ba siya? Hiwalay na ba sila? Yan ang mga tanong bumabagabag sa kaniyang isipan.
Bukas na ang kanilang anniversary at sinubakan pa rin ni Minghao maging positive. Nakahanda na ang singsing, si Yanna na lang talaga ang kulang.
Minghao call her again for God knows how many times already. He will not get tired of her, never will.
Nanlulumo na siya kakahintay kung may sasagot ba sa phone niya pero hindi pa rin nawawalan ng pasensya.
At the moment he closed his eyes, a voice suddenly spoke up. "Hao?" nabuhayan siya ng biglang sumagot si Yanna. Umayos agad siya ng upo.
Hindi siya nakasagot agad dahil lumuluha na pala siya ng di niya namamalayan. Tahimik lang silang dalawa, walang nagsasalita nagiiintay kung sino ang mauuna.
"Im sorry, love" Yanna spoke again. He wipes his tear and ready himself to answer.
"Bakit ka nagsosorry babe, wala ka namang ginawang kasalanan." Tahimik lang ang kabilang linya. Ilang segundo rin bago nagsalita ulit si Yanna.
"Anniversary na pala natin bukas 'no?" Pagiiba ni Yanna ng topic.
Ngumiti naman dito si Minghao habang lumuluha "Oo nga."
Tumahimik ulit ang mga linya. Hindi na napigilan ni Minghao iparinig ang kaniyang iyak. Hindi niya na kayang pigilan, he broke down making Yanna more silent than before. "Babe, umuwi ka na—umuwi ka na, please. Hindi ko na kaya," kahit mahirap magsalita, pinilit niya ang sarili niya kahit pa humagulgol na siya.
"Yes, Love. Im gonna go home. Uuwi na ako. Uuwi na ako sayo. Don't worry, okay?" pagaasure ni Yanna sakaniya.
Tipid ngumiti si Minghao. Nakalimutan niya na ang lahat ng problema niya simula ng marinig ang boses ni Yanna. Nawala na ang silbi ang pagiwas ni Yanna sa kaniya ng isang buwan. Wala na siyang pake doon. "Promise?"
Yanna chuckled, "Hmm. Yes po"
Minghao wipe his face with his arms "I love you baby."
"I love you" she answered.
૮︵⭒‿᧔☪︎᧓‿⋆︵౨
"Di na kita pipilitin kasi baka ikaw sa akin ay mas lumayo"
— synopsis: reuniting with an rare two-night stand on the mound was not something you ever thought would happen — but it’s not like he remembered who you were, anyway…right?
– genre: open-ended, not so strangers to lovers au / baseball au ; only a little angsty, smut, fluff. they're stupid.
— pairing: model!xu minghao x fem!pitcher!reader
– word count: 11.6k
— rating: 18+. minors do not interact.
– warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, honestly very vague, the smut is the star of the show here and not even all that well. that being said: smut warnings: oral (f.rec), masturbation/clit play, fingering (f.rec), body worship (f.rec), biting, nipple play (f.rec), unprotected sex (that's a no no) multiple orgasms, creampie.
— what to listen to: heartburn - sunmi ; diamond days - seventeen ; atm - jihyo ; 四月的漂流 - the8.
– author's note: i'll easily admit this is not my best work. i've been burnt out for a few months and i'm trying my best to get myself back in order. forgive me for the vagueness of it all, but i know all of you are incredibly imaginative and creative enough to fill in the gaps and also...leave room to wonder. thank you to hali @sailorsoons for allowing me to be part of this collaboration & being so patient with me. thank you to @/saradika-graphics here on tumblr for these star dividers. no beta, we die like men.
MINGHAO IS STARING AT THE E-MAIL ON HIS AGENT’S CELLPHONE.
“You’re joking.”
“I can assure you, I am not. Come on, Hao! It’s just a first pitch, and you don’t even have to stay for the game!” Lee Seokmin smiles brightly, and Minghao tongues his cheek as he gives the cheerful man a deadpan look.
“You will want to stay for the game.”
“I will! But it’s up to you, superstar.”
“You’re buttering me up and you know it,” Minghao sighs, leaning his head back against the wall of the studio. He’s surrounded by racks of clothing he’ll wear once for the camera, and shrugs his shoulders as Seokmin juts his lip in a pout. He gets in Minghao’s face, batting his eyelashes as Minghao scrunches his nose, pushing him back slightly and sticking his tongue out at him like a toddler.
“Fine. One pitch.”
“We’ll have to work on your technique! Don’t wanna embarrass yourself out there, you know. They’re a co-ed team.”
“They have those?” Minghao yawns, stretching his arms over his head as Seokmin types on his phone, nodding. “I don’t keep up with baseball like that, sorry.”
“No worries, I’m actually good friends with the captain of their team. Choi Seungcheol, I’ve introduced you, right? We’ve had dinner at his a couple times.”
“I know who Seungcheol is. Great brows on that guy, I’ll say.” Minghao rolls his shoulders back, adjusting in his seat.
“Great butt, too.” Seokmin nods again, and Minghao gives him an amused look as he reaches for his phone across the couch, “sure, Seok. Whatever you say.”
“It is! Have you seen it? Phenomenal, I see why the Diamonds are so big on social media.”
“Or...they could just be good.”
“They are, but he’s also a cutie.”
“You’re so funny,” Minghao chuckles, unlocking his phone to see two new messages from his manager, Boo Seungkwan, following up on the e-mail about throwing the first pitch at the last game of the season for the Daegu Diamonds. Tonguing his cheek, Minghao just shoots back a short response in the affirmative, before feeling Seokmin pat his knee.
“Alright, I’ve confirmed. We’re going to be down there tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll book the flights and send your ticket over before noon today. Pack light, we’ll only be there three days before we’re in Japan for Tokyo Collection. You’re walking for the Cherry Jubilee spring launch, and we’re having dinner with Seungkwan and Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan, the designer.” Seokmin looks at Minghao pointedly, who only glances up at him with boredom.
“Yes, I know who Jeonghan is. We’re friends.” He lolls his head back, and Seokmin shrugs, “you know so many people, Hao. I can only take the initiative and ensure that you remember them.”
Seokmin shoves his phone in his pocket, grabbing his jacket off the chair with a click of his tongue, “I’m gonna go on a quick coffee run, but they want you in the red set first. If you need help, Seungkwan is down the hall talking to the creative director. Do you want anything? Tea? Something to nibble on? Lunch is in an hour.”
“I’m good. You go ahead, I’ll be out of here in a bit.”
Seokmin nods, slipping out of the room whistling something that sounds a lot like Death of a Strawberry by Dance Gavin Dance. Minghao waits until the door shuts behind him to melt into the grooves of the couch, letting the soreness of the already-long day seep into his muscles as he drums his fingertips against his phone. He stares at a water spot in the ceiling tiles, his chest heavy as he opens his phone and scrolls down through his messages. Lots of old friends from back home, a few of his fellow modeling peers, a couple designers...
An unsaved number, with messages dating back two years.
He can’t bring himself to delete it.
He doesn’t remember your full name, either, and it bothers him – only remembering your face, and that you liked the Daegu Diamonds. If he scrolls up high enough, he’ll see the exchange of nude photos and videos, and his face will grow hot before he clicks off the message thread and chooses to ignore it for exactly ten minutes...
Before going back in and staring at the thumbnail of the singular video of you together, taken on his phone on the second and last night you ever saw each other. A week after meeting at a hole-in-the-wall bar, you’d gotten a non-disclosure agreement sent to him and he’d filled it out within ten minutes – sending it back with a ticket to meet him in Osaka the next weekend. He was him, and you were you – he'd said something about not having enough time, you admitted to commitment issues...and you both settled on two nights in Japan – away from the cameras, away from any friends or family.
Just you.
It had been fun. Of course, it was fun – as fun as risky, messy sex with a girl he didn’t know and didn’t have to know could be. You didn’t care to know him, either – only heading straight to business the moment you both crossed the threshold of the hotel room he’d gotten for the weekend. He had a pair of white panties in his apartment from that night, pulled off you with his teeth and shoved into the pocket of his True Religion jeans – never to meet the inside of your duffel bag again – but it wasn’t enough.
Unfortunately, you lingered in his mind at the most inopportune moments. He could be half naked in someone else’s bed and about to get down to business; when your body will flash by his eyes, enough to knock him off his game, even if just for a moment. He’ll be in meetings, and he’ll feel his skin prickle as if he can still feel the ghost of your blood red fingernails dragging down his back. He’ll be sitting at dinner, his eyes trained on the food in front of him as he sips his drink but all he can taste is you.
It feels cynical. Like a slow form of torture, to look at those messages and know that he’s drawn a line he cannot cross. To know that if he just presses play, even just once – he'll hear every single sound he drew from you in just those fifteen minutes. He’ll see the way your body was flush against him, the way you sighed at the feeling of his lips against your burning skin.
He’ll remember the taste of your sweat as he dragged his tongue up the slope of your neck before sinking his teeth into you – marking you for the weekend. Never to be in his arms again.
He hasn’t watched it since the night he sent it. The temptation is there. It’s always there, just like the photos of you that he can’t bring himself to look at.
Message From: +82 010-2015-0526
Best of luck, Minghao! See you around. (Delivered)
Message To: +82 010-2015-0526
You too, sweetheart. (Read: 4:32 AM)
Minghao barely unlocks the door of his condo when the warmth of the heater hits his face. He shivers, locking the door behind him and resting his forehead against the cold steel. He lets out a deep breath, shrugging his coat off as his phone buzzes in his pocket, arguably another message from Seokmin or Seungkwan, or even the most hidden person on his team — Soonyoung. A cheery, bright-eyed publicist with a knack for persuasion, carefully navigating Minghao into the oddest of situations that have skyrocketed his career. It's because of Soonyoung that Minghao is the face of so many brands, plastered all over in countries he's never even been to.
At least, not yet.
Minghao hangs his coat with no urgency, smoothing the lapels before closing the front closet door and easing his way into his home. He toes his shoes off, sliding them onto the shelf in the foyer before stretching his arms over his head and walking into his empty living room.
Empty living room with a single lamp on, waiting for him to come home. Empty kitchen, with food packed neatly in the fridge waiting to be eaten. An empty bathroom, empty bedroom.
Empty bed.
He can never get too comfortable. His condo in Shanghai is the closest he gets to feeling at home – even if his apartment in Seoul has seen him the most, and his studio in Osaka is bare bones aside from a few art pieces on the walls and a singular photo of him and his parents on a desk in the corner.
Maybe that’s loneliness. Having so much and wanting so little, but to be rich in love...he yearns for that.
He reaches into his pocket as he sits on the edge of his recliner, tonguing his cheek as he reads the message across his screen.
Group Message From: Unnamed Group (4 Members)
Choi Seungcheol (DD): Hey, guys! Heard from our head of SNS that you’d be coming down for a game. Are you throwing the first pitch, Minghao? We’d love to get a team photo with you! Let us know.
Lee Seokmin (Work): You’re so cute. Yeah, we’re gonna be down there this weekend, we’re flying in from Shanghai in the morning. Should we expect to drop by the Choi residence for dinner? (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ )
+82 010-2015-0526: Shit, hey Seok. I asked Cheol to make the group because I broke my phone a few months ago and lost your number. I have gossip, call me when you can. Good luck this weekend!
Minghao stills, his brows furrowing as he looks at the number again. He exits the group, quickly scrolling down his message threads before seeing the number right there. Seungcheol replies in the groupchat as he stares at the conversation between you and him – his skin prickling as he enters and exits the thread almost anxiously.
“Shit,” he runs a hand over his face, tossing his phone onto the recliner as he gets up. He beelines for the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of his refrigerator when he hears his phone continue to ping with messages. He brings the bottle to his lips, taking a poor excuse for a sip before setting it down on his countertop.
The cold of it hurts his stomach.
He moves back to the recliner, quickly unlocking his phone and reading through new messages. Seungcheol, Seokmin, Soonyoung, Seungkwan, Seokmin again...
It’s not like Minghao to particularly care about the past, but he doesn’t remember your name. Surely, if you’re affiliated with Seungcheol, you could be very well affiliated with the Daegu Diamonds.
He nibbles on his lip for a moment as the chat bubble on your end pops up and disappears repeatedly before it dawns on him – Seokmin said that the Diamonds were a co-ed team.
He doesn’t reply to your texts, opting to go onto the official site for the Daegu Diamonds and scour through the roster. Many faces are familiar – Lee ‘Woozi’ Jihoon, Park Jihyo, Lee ‘Dino’ Chan...
Y/N Kim. A pitcher for the Daegu Diamonds, repping #08 on the mound. Your height, your weight, your birthday, your social media – it's all there, in color on his screen.
He, against his better judgment, presses the Instagram icon beneath your debut date – November 9th, 2015.
His phone redirects him to your profile. You’ve amassed millions of followers, your profile plain of any introduction aside from a cheeky photo booth strip as your profile photo and ‘#08 DD’ in your biography. You have Fire by 2NE1 linked to your profile, and there is a neat array of posts filling the screen.
Your profile is purely...you.
Not just pictures of you, but…the embodiment of you as an art. Your style. Everything he would've assumed a curated profile surrounding you would look like.
Candid photos, photos of you and friends at dinner or simply hanging out together. He spots several shots of his own colleagues and friends – Hansol 'Vernon' Chwe, a music producer he’d met in passing at a Cherry Jubilee show six years ago; Chou Tzuyu, a designer for Lazy Baby and Kim Mingyu, a fellow model and the face of Calvin Klein (and abs, and arms, that man is beautiful.)
Also Tzuyu’s fiancé.
Not that anyone knew that.
He scrolls further and further – before seeing an Osaka carousel from two years ago. The song over the post is Heart Burn by Sunmi, and he scrolls past several pictures only to stop on the second to last.
Him.
Well, not him.
His jacket, the corner of one of your photos. The Osaka skyline from the hotel room is the focus, but he can see the letters on the back of his monogrammed jacket – XU MIN visible before the photo crops the rest of it out. His watch is on the windowsill, and a sliver of his back is visible on the bed. The window was behind the bed frame, and you had to have been standing by the vanity to get that angle.
He chews on his lip anxiously, scrolling to the next photo before seeing your fingers holding a ring up to the light at the airport. A signet ring, his signet ring with an orchid stamped in the center – one he’d lost after that trip. He clears his throat, glancing at the caption before his eyes widen.
diamonddazed: i hope we find time for more than osaka someday.
His tongue runs behind his teeth as he closes the app, his head hanging low between his shoulders as he lets out a sigh. His phone continues to buzz and ping in his hand, but he ignores everyone else to move to your thread with him.
NEW! 2 Messages from: Y/N
[9:34 PM] I hope this...history doesn’t hinder your ability to come see the guys this weekend. They talk about you and Seokmin all the time.
[9:34 PM] But, it would be nice to see you. Maybe we can get drinks. LMK (:
Minghao taps his foot as he opens and closes his keyboard. He tries typing a few letters, erasing them. Tries again, deletes them.
He opens his email instead, typing your name into the search box before seeing a copy of the non-disclosure agreement he signed. He opens it, reading along the lines of when the contract ends. Maybe he can get out of this, state personal differences. Maybe say it wasn’t good for his brand to be tied to so many things plus baseball.
Two weeks from today.
“That’s not soon enough,” he murmurs, closing out of the application and moving back to messages. Seokmin has texted him six times, but he doesn’t care to reply as he opens your thread again.
Message to: Y/N
[9:39 PM] Are you in Seoul right now?
He presses his thumb to his lips, and he can almost imagine the smile spreading on your lips as his phone shows that you’ve read the message. His knee bounces as you type, only to stop when your message comes through.
NEW! 2 Message from: Y/N
[9:42 PM] [1 Attachment]
[9:42 PM] Shanghai. Fly out for the game tomorrow afternoon.
His stomach drops as he sees the Shanghai skyline fill his screen, and he can barely see the subtle reflection of you in the window – wrapped in a white towel, the glisten of your red nails bouncing off the fabric. He glances around the photo, trying to see anything else in the reflection before another message bounces in.
NEW! 1 Message from: Y/N
[9:43 PM] I’m alone if you want to swing by. Room 1107 @ the Conrad Shanghai.
Minghao feels stupid as he nearly falls out of his recliner, shoving his phone in his pocket as he moves back to his foyer. He shoves his shoes on, cheeks hot as he grabs his coat and pulls it on haphazardly. He barrels out his front door, not bothering to check that it has shut behind him as he beelines for the stairs.
He feels a rush course through him as he pulls his phone back out of his pocket, stopping at the top of the stairs to type a quick message.
Message To: Y/N
[9:47 PM] Lose the towel.
Getting past the lobby proves to be far too easy. He flashes a few quick smiles, signs a few slips of paper before he calmly steps into an elevator, knowing the Conrad like the back of his hand as he presses your floor button. He fiddles with his coat's buttons, flapping it open, before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He trills his lips, leaning against the wall of the elevator as he watches the floor counter go up. The elevator seems to sense his urgency, and it jolts to a stop on your floor.
He slides out between the barely open doors, his eyes scanning the doors for your room number – finding it at the very end of the hall. He knocks twice, softly – adrenaline making his hands shake as he shoves them back into his pocket.
The door opens slightly, but you’re behind the door as your hand beckons him inside. He tongues his cheek, slinking in through the gap to see you wrapped in a robe. He raises a brow at it, his fingers pinching the tie and tugging lightly.
“Room service,” your voice is soft, “can’t be indecent, you know.”
“Doesn’t look like room service is here, though.” He responds, nerves making his tongue feel larger than it is as you glance at his fingers still holding the tie. He rolls his eyes, wrapping it around his hand and using it to pull you closer, “you sleep with anyone else here?”
“No.” You shake your head, your hair still slightly damp as your hands splay on his chest. His jaw is tense as he runs his eyes down the slope of your neck, across your clavicle to the small chain snug at the base of your throat. He glances up at your face, your lips smooth with lip balm and your cheeks still soft, still as supple as he remembers them.
“Are you lying?”
“No, Minghao. I wouldn’t have asked you over if I had.”
“So, I’m just a quick fuck before you fly home?”
You don’t reply, rolling your eyes as you press your lips to his. Your hands on your chest slide around his slender waist, pulling him closer as his hand loosens around the tie of your robe. He kisses you back carefully, pulling at the knot of the tie as your tongue slips into his mouth. The same taste that’s sat at the back of his throat for the last two years coats your tongue as he sucks on it gently, your robe falling open as he pulls away. The back of his head hits the wall lightly, making him wince as your hand immediately cards through his hair and rubs at the spot.
“Can I touch?” He murmurs, his hands ghosting over the warmth of your skin as you nod. You move further into his space, your fingers pulling at the buckle of his belt and undoing it quickly. His hands are cautious as they shove your robe off your shoulders, the same small tattoo he'd bitten two years ago peering back at him as you pull his belt off and toss it to the side before kissing him again. Your lips are so soft against his, your hands proving desperate as you unbutton his jeans and shove his shirt out of the way to reveal the waistband of his boxers.
“Why are you so fucking dressed up?” You mutter against his lips as your fingertips slither under his shirt, and he smiles as one of his own find the lace of your panties snug to your hips, “you don’t need all these clothes to fuck me.”
“Believe it or not, I work, too.” He speaks between kisses, nipping at your lip with a soft growl in the back of his throat, “why do you taste like that? Did you touch yourself before I got here?”
“I always touch myself when I think of you,” you’re breathless as your fingers curl around his waistband, tugging uselessly. You pout as he laughs, “it’s true! I'm already halfway to getting in your pants, no need to lie. We’re all friends here.”
“I wouldn’t say we’re friends at all, actually.” He refutes, sliding his fingers under the fabric of your panties to cup a handful of your ass. His lips press open mouthed kisses to your neck, earning him those soft, soft groans he’s had daydreams about for the last two years as he scrapes his teeth against your skin. “I don’t typically fuck my friends, much less make them sign NDAs about it. And if we were friends...”
“You’d fuck me in your bed?” You interject, your fingertips pulling at his zipper and cupping his half-hard cock. He tries not to keen as you run a finger against him over the thin fabric, "you’d fuck me in your bed, right? Mark me up? Make me yours?”
“Wouldn’t be my friend if you were mine.” He tugs at the ends of your hair, a quipped gasp falling from your lips as he gives your ass a gentle squeeze. “You hear me?”
“Uh huh,” your fingertips are teasing at the waistband of his boxers, but he pulls your hand away, sliding his own back out from under your panties. He kisses the shell of your ear, your lips pouted as he squeezes your hips, “Minghao.”
“Show me how you touched yourself,” he whispers, your lips parting slightly as he physically turns you around. “Then maybe I’ll give you what you want.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe.”
“Cynical,” you huff, squealing as his fingertips land a soft smack against your ass. Your hands cover it as you scurry away, and he picks up his belt and follows, with a grin threatening to breach his lips. He doesn’t remember talking to you this much the first time (or even at the bar you met him at) but...the sound of your voice has something in it. Something...addictive. Erotic, even.
He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care to figure it out right now.
He pulls his coat off his shoulders as you pull your robe off fully, a tattoo across the dip of your spine new to his eyes and stark against the lace of your underwear. He stops what he’s doing, his eyes running over it as you glance over your shoulder at him.
Lucky.
“It’s new.”
“I know.”
He doesn’t say anything else as he pulls his shirt over his head, toeing his shoes off as you move to sit on the bed. He watches the way your demeanor shifts slightly, a bit shy as your thumbs hook on the waistband of your underwear. He shakes his head, motioning for you to get on the bed, “all fours.”
“But I—”
“Just wanna see that new tattoo, sweetheart. All fours, please.”
You oblige, carefully sprawling yourself on the bed as he asks. He moves closer, his fingers wrapping around your ankles and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. You move easily, your back smooth in the low lighting of your hotel room as he slides his hand up it, curling his fingers around the back of your neck. Your skin litters in goosebumps as you push your hips back, meeting his lightly as he bends slightly, pressing his lips to your hip. You shiver as his teeth scrape the skin of your hip, pulling gently at the fabric of your panties and sliding them down your thighs.
“I’m keeping these,” he says as he pulls them off entirely, shoving them in the back pocket of his jeans as you scoff.
“Pervert.”
“You smell good. Show me.”
He peers down between your thighs, the swell of your ass covered by his hands as he spreads the cheeks carefully. Your hand covers you immediately, the sheen of arousal spread between your inner thighs as he smirks inwardly, “I haven’t even touched you.”
“You know I’m sensitive, shut up.” Your breathing is shaky as you drag your fingertips through your folds, spreading them lightly and circling your puffy clit. He sucks in a breath, his cock twitching beneath his boxers as your thighs slightly weaken at the stimulation. You bury your face in a pillow as you rub your clit in tight circles for him, shuddered whimpers wracking your body before you tease your hole with a finger. He leans forward slightly, enough that you can feel his breath as he drops a wad of spit on your pussy. You jolt as he presses a kiss to the curve of your ass, “come on, pretty. Make yourself cum for me.”
Your whine rings in his ears, making him bite down on his lip as he runs his hands up and down the back of your thighs, “so pretty when you’re touching yourself, huh? Like putting on a show for me?”
“Minghao...” your voice trails off as he watches you slip a finger in and then another, a breathy chuckle falling from his lips as he kneels behind you. He kisses the side of your foot, trailing his lips up your ankle as he watches your juices coat your fingers. He kisses up your calf, dragging his lips up your thigh as they shake.
“So close already? Tsk,” he mocks you as he presses a kiss to the curve of your ass, then another. He switches to the other side, watching your hand still as if to stave it off before he presses a kiss to your knuckles, “can’t do it yourself?”
“Hao,” you’re whining, your fingers slipping out to spread your pussy for him to see. He smiles inwardly as your hole clenches around nothing, begging for something in it as he sinks his teeth into the meat of your ass. You only groan, pushing your hips back as he laps his tongue over the marks of his teeth before your fingers find your clit again, tracing slow circles into it as he kisses them. He takes them into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as the taste of you coats his tongue. He presses a kiss to your fingertips before pushing your hand away, hooking his arms around your thighs and pulling your cunt to his face.
“Please, please...” your hips are pushing back, and he can’t deny you anything as he presses a tentative kiss to your clit, covering his lips in your arousal. He flattens his tongue against it, licking long, languid strokes through your folds to taste you entirely. His lips wrap around your clit carefully, sucking it into his mouth as your hand reaches back and finds his hair. Your thighs are a shaking mess as he holds onto you tighter, his cock painfully hard against his boxers and aching for release – threatening to come undone at the mere taste of you paired with your soft thank you, thank you, thank you.
He pulls away abruptly, using his strength to flip you onto your back before diving back in. Your thighs threaten to clamp shut around his head, but he doesn’t care as he feels your walls flutter around his fingers as he brings you closer to the edge. Your voice is barely audible with the flesh of your thighs pressed against his ears, your fingers tangled in his hair once more as you come undone on his tongue.
He keeps his fingers inside you, thrusting them in and out gently as your thighs fall apart, trembling as he works you over with his tongue again.
“H-Hao—”
“You can give me another. Just one more, then I’ll fuck you. Yeah?”
Your legs must feel like jelly the way you spread them limply for him, your cunt covered in his spit and your cum as he slips his fingers out to smear your juices around. A soft gasp falls as he slides them back in with a coo, his lips pressing a kiss to your clit.
“Messy,” he murmurs, biting his lip at the wet squelching sound you make around his lithe fingers. He can’t tell if you’re embarrassed or not, your hips grinding against his hand lazily as he peppers kisses across your hips. He nips at the skin, sucking soft marks as your whimpers fill the air, “greedy, too. Just taking everything I give you, huh? Such a good girl for me.”
Your reply is too quiet for him to hear, and he pushes off his knees, trailing kisses up your soft belly as your fingers rake through his hair. He plants his free hand next to your head as he feels himself press against your inner thigh, before his tongue slides in the valley of your breasts. He kisses the flesh carefully, open-mouthed as he makes his way up your throat. Your breathing is all soft pants and bitten moans as your swollen lips are shiny with spit. Your face is flushed as he kisses up your jaw, biting your earlobe lightly and making your eyes open slightly. They’re hazy, watery as your lashes are coated with tears of pleasure as he kisses the side of your face, your pussy clamping around his fingers as his lips ghost over yours.
“Tell me you missed me.” His mouth brushes yours as you nod silently, “nah, not like that. Tell me. Tell me you missed my cock inside you.”
He knows it’s not the same thing, but it’s all he’s got in the moment as your eyes widen, his thumb pressing against your clit as a choked sound falls from your lips. You cant your hips up, but he stills his fingers as he sinks his teeth into your lower lip, “say it.”
“Missed your cock inside me,” you whisper, tilting your head up to kiss him. He lets you, slotting his lips with yours chastely as you wrap one leg around his hip, “missed feeling you. Haven’t stopped thinking about you.”
The admission, fake or not, makes his fingers start moving again, your eyes rolling slightly before you shut them. You kiss him again, your hand gripping the ends of his hair between your fingers as if to keep yourself grounded. The kiss is all teeth and tongue, a groan from your lips as you taste yourself all over him, your pussy clamping around his fingers at it. He smirks into your kiss, gently rutting his cock against your thigh as you coat his fingers again with a shuddered whine.
Your hand shoves his fingers away as they circle your clit, shaking your head as you snap the waistband of his underwear against his hip, “take them off. Wanna feel you.”
You pull his fingers into your mouth, slipping your tongue between them and collecting your juices off his skin. His eyes are glued to your lips, swollen and bitten from his teeth as his other hand cups your breast, running his thumb over your nipple and smiling inwardly at the way your back arches off the mattress lightly. Your ankle kicks his hip lightly as you pull off his fingers with a pop, and he pushes off the mattress to reach into his pocket for his wallet.
Not a single condom in sight.
“Shit,” he mutters, and you sit up, pointing at something on the nightstand. He glances at it – a pink pill case. Slots reading Monday through Sunday...
“You’re clean, yeah?” You lean back on your elbows, your chest heaving slightly and your skin shiny with a layer of sweat. He nods, and you gesture at his jeans with your foot, the French tip pedicure glossy in the low light, “so take it off.”
He wastes no time shucking off his pants and underwear in one go, hissing softly as his underwear brushes over his leaking cock. You sink your teeth into your lower lip as he wraps his hand around himself, a soft laugh slipping out as he slots himself between your legs.
“What’s so funny?” He asks as he spreads beads of his precum through your folds, a soft breath falling from your lips as you feel his tip bump your clit. You shake your head, “nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“...Just nice to see you so worked up over going down on me.”
“That’s the way it should be,” he scoffs, forcing himself to focus as he grinds his cock against you, slick and messy with you all over his shaft. “God, missed this pussy.”
“Just her?” Your voice is airy as he pulls you to the edge of the mattress, your leg resting against his body and your foot against his cheek. He presses a kiss to the side of it, his other hand spreading your thighs apart to peer at your bare cunt against him.
“Gotta miss you to miss this, you know. One plus one.” He grinds down against you harder, brushing his lips against your ankle as he feels your hole clench around nothing, empty and wanting for him.
“Not always the case.”
“You’ve plagued me for the last two years, shut up.”
His voice is lacking confidence as he feels himself grow close just from the feeling of you against him, feeling his limbs slightly fuzzy as he takes his cock in his hand, his tip circling your hole carefully.
“I won’t last very long,” he admits softly, and you tilt your hips up, his tip barely dipping inside you. He sinks in fully, his hips flush to yours as you clamp around him like a vice. A whine gets caught in his throat, annoyed at himself for being so close at the feeling of you – so wet and warm and delicious. “Shit.”
“Fuck me,” you mewl, his hands moving to wrap around your thighs and pin you in place. He gives a roll of his hips, muffling his groan by sinking his teeth into your calf. You’re trying to move against him, but he gives a harsh thrust, hitting that spongy spot inside you and making your back arch up off the bed. Your hands trail up your body, cupping the bottom of your breasts before running your fingers over your hardened nipples. He watches you through hooded eyes, fucking his cock into you at a menacing pace that makes you whimper his name sinfully. He rests his head against your leg, kissing the skin of it as you continue to touch yourself, rolling your nipple through your fingers as his lips ache to be wrapped around them.
He splays his hands on the underside of your thighs, holding them apart as he bends at the waist, dragging his tongue up from your navel and between your breasts before your hand finds home in his hair as he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it, shivering at how hard you clench around him, your walls fluttering as your moans fill his head. He feels like it’s swimming, intoxicated with the smell and taste of you all over him as he switches sides, scraping the neglected bud lightly with his teeth and earning a tug of your fingers in his hair, his groan covering your skin as he laps at the peak gently.
“Want you to cum inside me,” you breathe out, “fill me up. Please.”
He doesn’t respond, trying to stave himself off as his hips threaten to stutter. Your nails dig into his shoulders, dragging down slightly and he has to force himself to rip them away and pin them next to your head. He finds your lips, “can’t use your pretty nails. Have a show next week, baby.”
You pout against his lips, kissing him slowly as he sinks lower against you, your chest flush to his. His hand slips out of yours, running between your bodies and curling around your hip as he sinks into your kiss. It’s slow and sensual, your legs wrapping around his hips and locking your ankles at the dip of his spine as his cock twitches inside you.
“Feel so good,” his face is buried in your neck, his hand on your hip slipping between your thighs to circle your clit and make you finish before him. You’re a whining mess under him, his eyes squeezing shut as he buries himself to the hilt inside you, feeling the rush of your orgasm dripping down his thighs and soaking the mattress as he spills inside you. Your chest is heaving in tandem with his as he rocks his hips into you, working you into overstimulation as your moans grow weak.
“S’too much,” you’re barely speaking above a whisper, and he covers your mouth with his as he stops, his hips flush to yours as he kisses you softly. You try to keep up, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him close as his hands circle your knees, pushing them to your chest before carefully pulling out. He pulls away from your lips with a chaste kiss, his eyes glancing at the mess of you and him between your thighs.
He feels his cheeks hot as he looks back up at you, an embarrassed look glazing your eyes as you clear your throat.
“...I didn’t even say hello when I walked in.” He says suddenly, and you cover your mouth with your hand as you bite back a sound akin to a snort. He presses your knees together, “hi.”
“Hey,” you laugh, running your hand through your hair. “It’s...nice to see you.”
“Cut the shit,” he scoffs, and you only laugh harder as your arms cover your chest. He smiles inwardly, pressing his forehead to your knees, “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Me either, but I’m not mad about it.” You wipe at your eyes, before scrunching your nose, “I’m gonna have to ask to get the sheets changed and they’re gonna know I got laid.”
You cover your face with a pillow, letting out a groan of embarrassment as he laughs, “you’re an adult and you had a visitor. I’m sure they didn’t think we were just going to talk.”
“Speaking of, you got here fast. Desperate to see me?” You lift the pillow just enough to show him the wiggle of your brows, only for him to tongue his lip and land a soft smack on your ass. You squeal, swatting his hand away as he turns his nose up, “I was taught never to keep a lady waiting.”
“And you sure didn’t,” you tease, making him stick his tongue out at you as his hands slide down your thighs. He gives them a soft squeeze as you toss the pillow aside, stretching your arms over your head. You’re still covered with his spit and blooming nips of his teeth, “kind of a funny reunion, huh?”
“The NDA is up in two weeks, otherwise I would’ve used it to get out of throwing that damn first pitch.” He admits, looking around before spotting a towel on the vanity. You snicker as he grabs it, carefully wiping you down. You wince here and there, before sitting up on your elbows, “there’s more towels in the bathroom, if you want to...shower before you go.”
“I can’t promise it won’t get frisky if we’re both in there,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your knee.
“Who said I was joining you?”
“The fact that you probably can’t even stand up on your own.”
“Damn, got me there.” You sigh, his fingers massaging into the flesh of your thighs instinctively. A silence settles over you both, your eyes meeting as he smooths his palms against your skin. He squeezes carefully, "should we skip the small talk?"
You don't respond, merely spreading your knees with a quirk of your brow. He rolls his eyes, pinching your thigh gently and making you suck in a breath, "use words."
"I don't know what we are or what we're doing, if that's what you want to know," you say pointedly as he kneels back on the bed, his hands holding your knees apart as he scans your face. "I don't even know why I came to Shanghai. I don't plan ahead, I don't think twice. I just do it. I just go."
"So, you're reckless."
"I'm spontaneous."
"You're full of shit," he snorts, making you smirk as you shrug, opting to lay back against the bed with your arms crossed behind your head. His hands slid up your thighs, squeezing the soft dip of your hips carefully. You shrug again, hooking a finger around the dangling silver chain and giving it a soft tug.
"I'd say I'm a spontaneous young woman with a promising career and good taste in sexual deviants," you nod slowly, and he has to bite back the smile threatening to spread on his lips as he hovers over you. He presses his lips to yours chastely, feeling the warmth flushing on your cheeks as he cups your face gently.
"Sexual deviant, huh?"
"Sorry, do you prefer fuck buddy?"
"Shut up," he mutters against your lips, slotting them with his and swallowing the limp attempt at a chuckle from your throat. You card your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at the roots as you kiss him eagerly. You're just as smooth with your tongue as you were then, carefully licking into his mouth as his hand wandered down between your bodies, wrapping around his cock. You spread your thighs further for him without breaking the kiss, and he smiles against your parted lips as he slides the tip of his cock through your slick folds. "Give me one for the road."
"Let me get on top."
"Whatever you want, baby."
MINGHAO DIDN'T END UP LEAVING YOUR HOTEL ROOM UNTIL AN HOUR BEFORE YOU DID.
He'd spent the entire night and most of the next day between your thighs, if not holding you flush to him in the shower and washing your hair for you. Conversations were fulfilling though limited, often interrupted by a pair of lips kissing some expanse of skin — he ignores the coil in his stomach when he thinks about the sweet taste of your lip balm fading as the night went on.
Another Monday night of parting felt…laughable, honestly. He snorted at himself as he shoved himself into the black taxi he ordered, letting you kiss him goodbye one too many times for it to just be casual. Your scent lingered on his lips, his skin, and he felt exactly the same way he did when he left Osaka before you did — six hours earlier, pressing a lingering kiss to your soft mouth and wishing you a safe flight.
He'd done the same then, but he let you get carried away. He let you pull him in again, he almost let you take his pants off again but managed to get himself together before you could. You were almost too tempting, and it made his skin prickle as you watched from your door as he walked down the hall to the elevator. He stepped into it, thankful that there wasn't an awkward wait before waving again. He heard your laugh ring out before the doors closed, and he closed his eyes, gripping the railing and taking a deep breath.
This doesn't mean anything.
Just two people blowing off steam with someone that knows what the other likes.
He knows you prefer receiving oral, you know he prefers giving it. He knows that you're not into edging, rather overstimulation, he knows that you like to be held closely afterwards. He knows you like to be kissed breathless, that you like to be bitten, nipped at, suckled on…
That you would rather be on top and control the narrative — but you know he craves that same control, grappling at the ends of his sanity the same way you do.
The spotlight is something you both share, and though in different lights…you understand each other. Flashing cameras, winded magazine articles, online criticism forums — neither of you discuss your professional lives in depth. He knows you like to dabble in drinking with friends or long nights out to distract from the giant baseball career weighing on your back, you know he disappears completely into EDM parties and recording sessions to duck out of the blinding runway lights.
There is an unspoken comfort, an unvoiced observance that gives you both the answers you seek about one another.
And yet, he still rolls his eyes when he finds himself wanting to hear your voice.
He hasn't seen you since that Monday in Shanghai. It's been a total of four days, and he made a pit-stop in Seoul before Seokmin, Seungkwan and Soonyoung hauled him to Daegu in the back of an unmarked SUV that felt suspiciously like a kidnapping — he eyed them with more suspicion as they whispered on and on within themselves before flashing him falsely reassuring smiles.
Your schedule was packed; you'd done a handful of interviews, a few features in magazines and updated your Instagram profile since. In which he saw himself, once more, riddled in the crevices of your photos. The same Shanghai skyline photo you'd taken, a few snapshots of beautifully plated dishes, you in fitting rooms and hanging out with blurred friends…
And a singular photo of you in the steamy bathroom mirror right after he'd washed your hair — clad in a loose pair of blueberry-print pajamas and a blur of his (accidentally) scratched back. You apologized for the nail marks, he just shook his head and pressed his lips to yours, swallowing your apologies and pressing you into the tile. He winced when the hot water hit his skin, your fingers squeezing his hip gently before you lathered gentle soap over the expanse of the lean muscle.
You had taken it after he kissed you for an hour until the water ran cool, wandering hands spreading soapy suds all over each other. After he'd grimaced at the bruising of his teeth littered on your skin, a mark sucked deep on your inner thigh. After he'd brushed his teeth next to you — the second toothbrush and his collection of jewelry glistening in the corner of the photo. The carousel has a soft song over top — Heart Burn by Sunmi, again.
diamonddazed: i hope i'll be home to you someday, even if shanghai is the closest i'll ever get to it.
You posted it just after he landed in Seoul at two-something in the morning, and was clambered into the SUV by his team. He stared at the photo for fifteen minutes, sat in the back of the van before closing his eyes and shamelessly double tapping the screen. He turned his phone off right after, sliding it into the cup holder and settling his neck into the travel pillow Seungkwan had slid over his shoulders.
They'd been far too awake for two in the morning.
The team kept the curtains drawn, but he couldn't sleep — opting to stare out the sunroof as dawn crept in, his eyes burning with fatigue. Seokmin typed away on his laptop next to Minghao, eyes low as they peered at the screen's low brightness. He clicked around, rubbing his face once or twice before Minghao reached over and blindly closed the laptop. Seokmin sighed, settling his rigid shoulders into the stiff leather seats.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," he says softly, and Minghao peels an eye open as far as he can with a shrug, "I have a pit in my stomach."
"Tomorrow is a short day, don't worry. We'll have all day to rest up today."
"When does the game happen?"
"Six, but we'll be there by four to get you situated with everyone. Take some pictures, get some refreshments, maybe have one of the players help on your form. You might not care about baseball, but it's important you leave a good impression."
"I assume this was all said in that groupchat with Seungcheol?" He murmurs back, lolling his head against the seat as Seokmin nods, "and Y/N."
"I'm sorry?"
"Y/N Kim. The pitcher? She's in the group."
Minghao feigns confusion, shrugging before closing his eyes. He feels his cheeks warm at the memory of your lips on his, your fingers carding through his hair with a rough tug that made him sink his teeth into the column of your throat.
"Right. Is she nice?"
"Yes, very. She'll be at dinner with Seungcheol with us, but she won't be staying there like we will."
"Cool, cool…anyone else I should know about?"
"Sure," he shrugs, crossing his arms on his chest. He eyes Minghao hard enough that the younger man can feel it, prompting him to look over, "mhm?"
"Jeonghan flew in." Seokmin raises a brow, and Minghao snorts, "Jeonghan? What for? We have a show."
"Because Seungcheol asked him to."
"You'd think those two would have tied the knot by now."
"Someone's dragging their feet and it's not Jeonghan."
"Ooh, messy," Minghao chuckles, shaking his head, "I forget they're dating at times."
"Don't we all," Seokmin stretches his legs as best as he can, wincing as soreness creeps up his thighs from the cramped seat. "I'm just hoping they'll do it sooner rather than later. Jeonghan's impatient and Seungcheol keeps pushing it back with things happening in their careers. I wouldn't be surprised if Seungcheol flew to Tokyo with us at this point."
"The more the merrier."
The rest of the ride is splattered with small talk — the weather, what does Minghao want to wear, is he comfortable staying at Seungcheol's house instead of a hotel…but none of it really registers. Minghao gives half-assed answers, bunching his blanket high on his lap when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. Seokmin has dozed off, his cheek mushed against his own travel pillow as Minghao digs his phone out of his pocket.
NEW! 3 Messages from: Y/N
[5:29 AM] Hiii
[5:29 AM] Cheollie told me you're staying with him? Is that true?
[5:29 AM] I miss you.
He bites back his smile, tonguing his lip as he quickly types a few responses out. He sends them off, pressing his thumb to his lips as he watches the read receipt pop up almost immediately.
Message To: Y/N
[5:30 AM] Five in the morning, shouldn't you be in bed?
[5:30 AM] Yes, we're staying with Seungcheol. I don't know why but I'm not complaining, either.
[5:30 AM] And to say you miss me…feels like a lie, hm?
NEW! 3 Messages from: Y/N
[5:30 AM] I am in bed, Mr. Xu. Just checking in 👀
[5:30 AM] Seungcheol invited me to dinner tomorrow after the game but I haven't given him an answer in case you don't want me there.
[5:30 AM] Maybe I'm a little tipsy but I still mean it. Come see me if you want…I'd love to see you.
He can picture you sprawled on your bedsheets in those soft pajamas you like. Freshly washed hair, with the taste of soju on the tip of your tongue — he'd seen you in Mingyu's Instagram story earlier that night with Jihyo and Tzuyu, huddled over a steaming hot pot and clinking shot glasses together.
You'd looked pretty. The strap of your dress had fallen down your shoulder, and you were squished against Jihyo's smiling face with all your teeth gleaming in the flash of the camera, plump lips slick with gloss and those very same nails that dragged down his back.
Message To: Y/N
[5:32 AM] And I'd love to come see you but I'm on zero sleep. I'd be of no use to your needs.
[5:33 AM] But…come to dinner. Wear something pretty.
Your message comes in almost instantly.
NEW! 2 Messages From: Y/N
[5:33 AM] Come see me anyway. I only live down the block from Seungcheol, you can lie and say you're getting breakfast at the convenience store across from me.
[5:33 AM] Please.
Minghao chews on his lip — glancing up to the dashboard and seeing that he'll be in Seungcheol's neighborhood in less than three minutes. He doesn't think about it too much; silently transferring a shirt and pair of sleep pants into his backpack as Seokmin snores softly.
He'll make up an excuse later.
Getting out of Seungcheol's house is a lot easier than anticipated. His team was far too tired to question why he was so awake, and he helped them all settle in Seungcheol's spare rooms. Seungcheol and Jeonghan were getting tipsy on the back deck, and Minghao let them know he'd be slipping out for a second. Seungcheol glanced at him, eyes glassy as he gave him a soft smile.
"Y/N's gate code is 1-1-0-9." He sang quietly, and Minghao only feigned amusement, ruffling the older man's hair before ducking out the enormous front doors. He shoved his hands in his pockets, thankful for the chilly air that kept him alert as he made his way down to your house. You'd been telling him you'd fall asleep if he didn't get there soon — and he wonders if you've fallen asleep when he stands in front of the heavy steel gates of your home. He glances around, nibbling on his lip before flipping the gate pad open and typing in the numbers Seungcheol had teased him with.
The gates unlock with a clunk, and he slips in and shuts it with his foot. He makes sure the lock has moved back in place before glancing up, seeing you standing at the open glass doors. Your pajamas are rumpled and you're squinting in the morning sun, your hand covering your eyebrows as he makes his way up the mosaic path made of colorful stones.
"You're unbelievable," he greets, fighting back a smile as you grin brightly. You're still clearly tipsy, the sway in your stance amusing as he steadies you carefully when you reach your arms out to him. He reaches one hand back to close and lock your front door; the other carding through your hair as you hum in satisfaction, resting your chin on his chest as you wrap your arms around his waist. "Still tipsy?"
"Oh, I got hammered. I can't tell you how I'm standing right now."
"On your legs."
"You're really annoying."
"Yet, you begged me to come over." Minghao chides, his fingers settling on the back of your neck as you give him a deadpan look, "begged is hyperbole, Mr. Xu. Take your shoes off."
"Hyperbole, understatement…it's whatever you say, sweetheart." He shrugs as he toes off his shoes, and you do the same, puckering your lips cutely. He rolls his eyes, craning his neck to press a chaste kiss to them; the minty scent of toothpaste wafting off. You twist out of his hold, sliding your fingers in his and tugging him towards the back of the house.
The common areas say more about you than he could've ever figured — dozens, if not hundreds of photos and memories scatter the baby blue walls from crown molding to baseboards. Huge art pieces are tastefully hung around the living room, gorgeous Tiffany lamps on glossy side tables, a beautiful deep sapphire sofa set with soft throw blankets. A pair of cream pillows with golden stitching are strewn on the recliner in the corner, the coffee table exhibiting an open book with highlighter and annotations next to a journal with blue ink scrawled across the lined pages.
"This is my humble abode, you can get a tour later." You hoot, pulling him through a dimmer hallway. The walls are painted a deep cherry red behind the quilted sapele shelves of vinyls, a player atop a barely open matching credenza. If he peeked inside, he'd see even more vinyls — retired ones you no longer played until you remember that one good song, what was it? I think I have the record!
Your bedroom is nothing like what he'd expect from you. The walls are forest green, the curtains dark brown and the blinds drawn. Your bed is in the middle of the room, surrounded by stunning zebrano furniture. Your ceiling boasts a massive fan, the blades shaped like moth wings and spinning slowly. The walls are covered with baseball paraphernalia, rock music posters, a Catwoman poster next to your closet and another vinyl — Hold The Girl by Rina Sawayama, hung directly above another player.
"Do you like?" You ask, your hair still in disarray as you tilt your head. He nods slowly, "very cool. Earthy…a little dark."
"I'm gonna have a massive hangover. Gotta keep it dark for now."
"Oh, no doubt babe."
"Not your babe."
"True," he says pointedly, glancing down at you. You're pouting, and he coos; lithe fingers tucking your hair behind your ears. He toys with the earrings speckled about the shells, a gold hoop catching his attention as he fiddles with it, "what's with the face?"
"You didn't call."
"Ahh…did you want me to?"
"…Maybe. I don't know."
You shrug, toying with the strings of his sweatpants. He hums, smoothing his hand over your hair before pressing his lips to your forehead, "we can talk about this later, yeah? When you're not tipsy and I'm not about to pass out."
"We could, yeah." You agree quietly, dropping your hands from his clothes and gesturing towards the bathroom, "that way. You can change or shower, too, I set some stuff out in case you did."
"Can barely stand but is a good host. Very redeeming."
"Careful, you'll fall in love with me and I don't quite feel like cleaning up that mess."
He chuckles, pinching your cheek as you swat at his hip. He makes his way to the bathroom, the door ajar as he slips in. He hears you shuffling around, likely making yourself comfortable as he flicks the light on — a soft yellow light illuminates a stone shower with a smooth bench and golden fixtures. There's a fluffy white towel on the sink, a new toothbrush laid out next to it with a small array of travel toiletries. He tongues his cheek, glancing at himself in the mirror — more pictures of you and your friends. Polaroids taken in that very bathroom tucked neatly into the corners of the mirror's frame. Mingyu, Tzuyu, Hansol, Jihyo. A bunch of other people he's met in passing — Yoo Jeongyeon (a singer-songwriter), Jeon Wonwoo (a photographer for Cherry Jubilee)…
Wen Junhui, his life-long best friend and an actor — also a model on his limited free time for Cherry Jubilee and the face of Tzuyu's Lazy Baby menswear. He raises a brow, filing the photo away in his mind as he strips to get in the shower.
He doesn't let himself think much as he goes through the motions of his routine, opting to get in quick and get out quicker. He brushes his teeth, opting to towel dry his hair so as to not wake you if you're already asleep. He glances at the pictures once more, his eyes lingering on Junhui's squished cheek with yours before flicking the light off and ducking back out.
You're curled into a ball, facing away from the bathroom but the duvet is pulled back where he assumes you want him to lay down. You stir slightly, your hand blindly reaching behind you as he slips onto the mattress. Your fingers brush his shirt, quickly bunching it in your hand as you pull him down. He bites back his smile, sinking into the bed behind you and pulling the duvet over his hips. Your hand grabs his, interlacing your fingers and holding them to your chest.
"Can I ask you something?" He murmurs, and you hum, nodding as he curls himself around you, holding himself up on his elbow. He peers down at you, biting back his smile at the way your lashes kiss your cheeks. "What's your walk-up song?"
You snort, letting out a tired laugh as you peel an eye open, raking it over his face as he leans over you. He presses his lips to your cheek, the warmth of your skin flushing against his, "it's When I Grow Up by The Pussycat Dolls."
"You've always known you'd be a big deal, huh?"
"I was made for this. Now, sleep. Hold me."
He snickers, planting a kiss to your temple as you hum. Your hand is tight around his, high on your chest as he buries your face in the back of your neck, a thin necklace brushing his lips. Your skin smells of pears and lilies, an underlying powder scent filling his nose as he sighs, letting his body sag into the mattress.
He doesn't bother thinking about how he could fall in love with you.
And maybe, already has.
THE BALL PARK IS MASSIVE — MINGHAO CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE'D SEEN SOMETHING SO ARTIFICIALLY GREEN.
He's still peeking out through one of the hallways, basking in the chill of the air conditioning that will disappear the moment he steps onto the field. There's people sitting in the stands that aren't exactly customers. There's managers, photographers, even interviews happening right on the turf. Some players are dressed fully, caps set backwards and casualness drifting off their set-back shoulders — and then there's you, in black shorts and a Daegu Diamonds Training Camp t-shirt and standing at the mound.
A woman in standing in front of you but he knows its you — red nails, now trimmed short, digging into your arms as you cross them on your chest. She's got you looking up, passing a fluffy brush under your eyes before allowing you to step back from her. Your lips have that same gloss carefully glimmering under the lights, and your hair is slicked back with a sheen of gel — but he can't focus on just you as more people surround you. A taller man hands you a ball of many in his bag and a permanent marker, making you talk about one thing or another as you're scribbling your autograph on the composite leather.
"That's Y/N Kim." Seokmin's voice is suddenly in his ear, as is the slosh of the ice in a drink. Minghao glances down, seeing Seokmin holding a Daegu Diamonds Collectible cup filled to the brim with lemonade and covered with a clear lid — and a jersey draped over his arm with a matching one resting on his shoulders.
"Guess you're having the time of your life, huh?" Minghao chuckles, and Seokmin shrugs as he holds the jersey out to him. It's a crisp white with the signature powder blue and navy grey details of the Daegu Diamonds logo, and it's not sporting any of the autographs that Seokmin's is. "You earn those stripes?"
"You know it," Seokmin sips his drink, before gesturing around the park. "I spent my weekends growing up driving all around the country with my parents to see the Diamonds play. Got the shirt big so it'd fit forever. Look at me now, close with the players and with season tickets! Oh…and bringing you along!"
"Aww, you're sweet," Minghao chuckles as he rolls his eyes, carefully taking the jersey and pulling it over his shirt. He doesn't bother buttoning it, opting to look around the park from his spot in the hall, "we'll be in the audience during the game?"
"And we're having dinner with Seungcheol and Y/N before we fly out tomorrow at noon. The other teammates have plans, and a few are actually going out to Japan to see you strut your stuff," Seokmin bumps Minghao's hip with his, before the crunch of cleats and your voice traveling catches his attention.
"It was incredible! Shanghai never disappoints me," your laugh is soft as you're suddenly in front of him and Seokmin. Your eyes are wide as you feign surprise, extending your hand to him, "you must be…Minghao. I heard I was going to meet you today."
"Xu Minghao, yes. He's throwing your first pitch today!" Seokmin beams beside him, as Minghao carefully takes your hand as though he hadn't pinned it by your head only a week earlier. You gave his a soft squeeze, "you're even more ethereal in person."
"Haven't heard that one yet." Minghao smiles gently, making you roll your eyes. "Y/N Kim. I've heard a lot about…you."
"You don't know a thing about baseball."
"Not nearly as much as I know about soccer."
"Zero times zero is still zero, Mr. Xu."
"Sense of humor, I like her," Minghao looks over his shoulder at Seokmin. He's got that twinkle in his eye that Minghao has learned to recognize when he wants to say something he shouldn't. "Whatever you're thinking—"
"I'm not thinking anything! Y/N, beloved, teach this guy a thing or two." Seokmin pats Minghao's shoulder, before his eyes catch your hand still holding his. "You can't hold hands, rumors will fly."
"Not a baseball player and a model, what would the people say?" You pretend to be scandalized, but effectively drop Minghao's hand to hold your own to his chest. "Xu Minghao steps into the Diamond Life…pretty catchy headline."
"I'll leave you two to this…odd mating dance," Seokmin turns on his heel, and Minghao almost turns to face you before Seokmin turns once more, "oh, don't let me forget…I'll ask why you're both wrapped up in an NDA dated back two years after the game."
Your face reads like a book — and Seokmin only smiles before holding his phone up.
"Don't CC me next time!" He beams, walking backwards before turning around and calling Seungcheol's name, the captain whipping his head over to see him bounding over. Minghao gingerly reaches over and closes your mouth, his knuckle tapping your chin as a sheepish smile spreads on his lips.
"I may or may not have forgotten that my email is automatically set to do that." He says softly, and you cross your arms with what he can't discern is playful or serious disappointment. He matches your expression easily, "hey, it's no better than you soft-launching us on your Instagram! My back, my jewelry, my jacket—"
"You don't even follow me on there! How could you possibly—"
"You're involved in so many people's lives that are important to me. It's only common sense that you'd eventually make that team, too." He states firmly, and you make no move to hide the way a soft smile is spreading on your lips. "Stop."
"Aw, I'm important to you?"
"Y/N."
"Invite me to your show in Tokyo."
You're almost too close, your hands clasped behind your back as you bat your lashes at him. He scoffs out a laugh, cheeks warming at the proximity as he realizes people around you give absolutely zero fucks about either of you.
He could kiss you and no one would care.
He wants to. And he wants them to care and he wants to brag.
"Don't you have to go practice or something?" Minghao's voice is much less confident with you in his face, his eyes flickering down to your lips as you pout. His knees feel slightly weak, "don't do that."
"Invite me to your show, Minghao."
"I already know that Jeonghan gave you a ticket on my behalf."
"True…but I want to hear it from you."
He rolls his eyes, his hands finding home on your hips and pulling you slightly closer. You easily drape your arms over his shoulders, peering at him through your lashes with a shy smile, "I missed you."
"You saw me yesterday. In your bed, mind you."
"Mmh…but you didn't kiss me before you left."
"Didn't know our NDA required goodbye kisses."
You press your lips to his gently, his arms tightening around your waist as he nips at your lower lip, "come to my show."
"Say please and I might even let you—"
"We're in public. Please come to my show and tell me I look pretty."
You only smile against his lips, "can I soft launch on Instagram again?"
"If that's what you need to do to ease me into the Diamond Life."
"Come on, loser. I can't have my NDA partner embarrassing himself on the mound. Today, pitcher. Tomorrow…supermodel. What a life you live."
Minghao hadn't bothered to hide the way your thigh was thrown over his at dinner, and neither of you explained anything to Seokmin — it was easy to figure out. Seungcheol and Jeonghan had fun dissecting your vague Instagram posts, finding details of Minghao in almost any and every post — including the orchid-stamped signet ring that was in almost every single one of your posts. Minghao doesn't know how he missed it, but all he knows is that he'd really missed you.
It's been three days since the show.
You'd sat quietly, dressed in a beautiful red dress from Tzuyu's unreleased Lazy Baby Spring collection — and that same dress was featured hanging in the back of one of the photos in Minghao's latest Instagram post. Along with a snapshot (courtesy of Jeonghan) of your hand tucked into the back pocket of his jeans while the two of you roamed Tokyo, a cropped picture of your friends all crowded together in a too-small booth for a delicious dinner…
And a picture of your hands interlaced, with a new, matching orchid-stamped signet ring on his finger — all of it set to Heartburn by Sunmi.
xuminghao_o: home, no matter where we are.
↳ 💬 diamonddazed: welcome to the diamond life, lover ♡
Synopsis🎱 Your boss is an arrogant, rude ass hole. Whilst working at his club, you start getting a little too close to the truth. It's at that point, your whole world starts to unravel.
Warnings🎱 violence, guns, character deaths, references to past sexual encounters, references to drugs, lots of crying, poor family dynamics, references to family deaths (sort of), unprotected sex, very soft/ fluffy sex, a very open ending, Chan and Wonwoo continue to be idiots (but I love them)
Word count🎱 19k
a/n🎱 This is so long but I got carried away with it 😭 I loved writing this though and I'm hoping to put out a little bonus chapter in a couple of weeks because the ending is sort of a cliff hanger/ open ended. Thank you if you read this series, I hope you enjoy the final part 🩷
He can’t be serious?! He seriously thinks you’d drink anything he gives you! It’s probably laced with something that’ll finally finish you off.
“Will you please just drink the water ______!”
Silence. You just face forward, trying to block him out.
How did he find you?!
How did he even know where Woozi was living?
His phone rings, diverting his attention away from you. There’s no point trying to escape, the doors to the car are locked and you can’t run far in your state.
“I’ve got her. We’ll be there soon. Don’t let anyone know what we’re doing,” the person on the other end of the line says something, “yeah, idiot, I know you don’t know what’s going on. I’ll tell you when I get there.”
He hangs up and turns to you.
“Please, drink something.”
You ignore him. You’ve nothing to say to him. And you’ve no reason to drink anything.
He gives in. Turns the engine on and speeds off from the only safety you had left in the world.
You creep into the house behind Minghao, the last time you were here, albeit not very long ago, it didn’t end well. You’re certain Mingyu is probably hiding behind a curtain somewhere, wanting to make this whole thing a great big game of violent hide and seek.
The second you enter, you hear men’s voices and panic. Terror running through your veins and over taking your senses. You can’t help it, your air ways feel like they’re closing in on you, and your body wants to make itself smaller on instinct. Fuck being brave, fuck not wanting to beg. You can’t take anymore of what they’re planning to do to you, the pain sears and your panic only makes things worse.
“No, no, no!!!! Minghao please, I’ll do anything,” you hold his arm to stop him walking not noticing how he stops immediately with a look of horror on his face, “I’ll try to talk to my dad! Fuck please don’t let them near me again. I promise I’ll do anything you want,” you sob, knees falling to the ground as you try to cling to Minghao, willing him to take pity on you.
Two men rush out the living room when they hear you crying and again, it’s instinct, you curl into a ball and cower. If you’re as small as you can be, they can’t get to you as much. You clamp your eyes shut, your body stiffening in the hope that doing so might help in some way ease the pain that’s coming your way and brace for whatever is about to hurt you next.
“No,” you whisper, desperately clutching your knees, “please don’t, please I’ll do anything, I’ll do anything you want me to. Don’t let them Minghao please.”
If you were looking at them or knew what was happening, you’d see the sadness and distress on Minghao, Wonwoo and Chan’s faces. Disgusted with themselves that they’ve driven a woman who’s been so strong, through all the shit she’s been through, to hide on the ground at the thought of what might happen to her.
Chan had followed you for months. He doesn’t know you. He’s never even spoken to you. But he’s watched as you’ve given homeless people a sandwich you’d just bought for yourself, he’s watched you smile at little kids when you’re on the bus. He’s seen you be left by everyone in your life and still shake it all off and carry on as best you can. And now you’re like a shell, cowering on the ground, and it’s because of them. Because of what they’ve allowed to happen, not just over the last day, but in the last year and a half.
“______?” Minghao says softly, crouching down beside you, touching your arm but moving it pretty quickly when you jump and cry out in fear. “______? We’re the only three here. I need to talk to you.”
His soft voice can’t fool you now. Not now you know who he is. What he is.
“Please. Let us help you up and then you can shower and get changed?”
You open your eyes. Looking between them, body still shaking in fear.
“W-why....why should I trust you?”
“I don’t expect you to. But I need to tell you something that I think is going to be a bit of a shock and so I think it’s better you get out of that dress and feel as fresh as you can do.”
A bit of a shock?! He thinks finding out your dad is a corrupt criminal police officer and your boss is the head of a fucking mafia organisation, wasn’t a bit of a shock?!
What else could he even have to say?!
“You promise they’re not here?” you almost whisper. In the back of your mind you still think there’s a high probability that they’re here somewhere and if they hear just how desperate you sound, they’ll even you that against you. So staying quiet is the best option.
Wonwoo reaches into his pocket. Panic sets in once again, you scuttle off towards the wall as best you can, horror rippling through you and heart pounding. He’s got a gun. He must have. Your hands cover your head like that would somehow stop a bullet.
“_______, it’s just my phone.” You look up and find all of them looking worried, “see.” He holds it up, “I just want to show you something.”
You look between the three of them, finding no anger on their faces and so nod a little, agreeing for him to show you whatever he wants to.
He presses the screen a few times and then turns it round so you can see it. Your eyes are swollen and bruised, it’s hard to focus but eventually you manage to see what he’s showing you.
What? They’ve locked their friends in that fucking awful concrete room?! But why?! Some sort of punishment for not finding you? For letting you go? Your head already felt like it was hanging on by a thread, now you just feel like it might explode.
“Why?” you look at the three men in front of you.
“Because they’re animals and it’s where they belong.”
You can’t even form words, he let all of this happen to you. He stood there whilst you were beaten again and again and again until you could barely sit up right. And now he has the audacity to call them animals.
“Look,” Minghao stops your spiralling, “please let us help you. You need to get warm, get out of those clothes. And then I’ll try to explain everything.”
You stare at him.
You don’t trust him. You don’t want to be near him right now. But you do want to know what he has to say. For some reason, he’s not killing you like he intended. And you want to know why.
“Wonwoo can help me.”
“But, you need a shower. I’ve seen you....”
“I don’t care what the fuck you’ve seen, and I don’t need help in the shower! He can help me when I need it.” You turn your attention to Wonwoo, “if that’s ok?”
Wonwoo stares between you and Minghao, like he doesn’t want to really get involved in whatever this is. Because there’s definitely something underlying that isn’t to do with this current situation.
“Why me?”
“You’re the only one here who hasn’t done something to hurt me.”
Minghao’s heart breaks so powerfully, he’s surprised you all don’t hear the cracks.
“I haven’t!”
“You followed me for months!!! You think I trust the man that stalked me!”
Chan looks horrified, “I didn’t stalk you. I just......followed you!”
This man is clearly another weirdo you think to yourself as you stare at him. You’ve never met Chan before tonight. You’ve no idea where he’s come from and, to be honest, you’re pretty pissed you didn’t spot someone following you for that amount of time.
But one thing is clear.
He’s as dense as Mingyu.
“Stalking is literally following someone.”
Chan opens his mouth to argue but Minghao holds up his hand to stop him.
“Wonwoo will help you.” He glances at Wonwoo who nods and moves towards you slowly.
He holds your arm, wincing along with you when he sees just how many bruises are on your arm. Your body is still aching and everywhere feels like it’s been pommelled repeatedly, but you manage to pull yourself up.
“Use the bathroom on the ground floor, then she doesn’t have to use the stairs. I’ll get some clothes.” Minghao mutters to Wonwoo, not taking his eyes of you, like he’s scanning every bruise, every smear of blood on your dress.
“I am not wearing anything of yours.”
They all turn and look at you.
“I’m not in the habit of keeping women’s clothes in my home _____. You want to walk around naked?”
Fuck. You hate that he can make your cheeks flush. Not that he’ll be able to see it through the bruises.
“Whatever.”
You walk past him. Well, more hobble past him, clutching your side but you hold your head high none the less.
“Er ______? It’s that way.” Wonwoo points awkwardly in the direction you’re meant to be going.
“Of course it is. Fucking idiots.”
You turn and shuffle in the right direction, not sparing them a glance and hoping Wonwoo will hurry up to show you where you’re meant to be going. Now you’ve started moving, you’re on a roll, you don’t want to stop again.
Chan and Minghao watch you hobble away, giving a very apprehensive looking Wonwoo a pointed look to get moving and help you.
He rushes after you, guiding you to the bathroom and hoping you were being serious about not needing help inside the actual shower. He doesn’t need Minghao interrogating him later about what he had or hadn’t seen. It’s clear something more has happened between you two than Minghao has let on, and he would rather not be involved. CCTV and hacking banking systems? Wonwoo is your man. Matters of the heart and everything that comes with it? He’d rather spend the afternoon with Seungcheol and Mingyu.
“So” Chan turns to Minghao, a devilish grin on his face, “you two did fuck then?”
Minghao doesn’t answer. Just stares into the space you’ve just disappeared from, selfishly wondering whether you’d ever forgive him for all of this. Heart aching and head spinning from the sight of you screaming and crying in fear on the ground.
He’s going to fix this. If it kills him, he will fix this.
You can’t even bring yourself to care about what they’re doing, or planning on doing, whilst you’re in the shower. You cried out a couple of times when the water hit a cut or bruise a little too hard, and to Wonwoo’s credit, he stayed outside the bathroom and shouted to make sure you were ok whenever he heard you in pain. But that doesn’t mean you trust, nor do you have an inclination to be kind to him, but he hadn’t done anything to you. He didn’t do anything to help you. But he didn’t add to it. Minghao sent him to recruit you and then Wonwoo kept himself to himself after that, he didn’t use you, fuck you and dessert you like Minghao did.
Once you’re dressed and hair dried a little, it being too much in the end to hold the dryer above your head and the heat was making the bruises and swellings hurt even more, you head out of the bathroom.
Minghao had given Wonwoo a pair of his sweats and a hoodie and Wonwoo sort of slid them into the bathroom, so he didn’t have to open the door fully and disturb your privacy.
You hate yourself for feeling weirdly calmed by the scent of Minghao’s clothes. Even though they’re clean they hold the familiar scent of him somehow. But you’ve no business feeling calmed from his scent, you’ve no business feeling anything for him other than fear. But even now your heart betrays you.
Enough of this. You need to forget any desperate need for Minghao you’ve developed. You just need to listen to whatever he has to say, though you can’t see what could be so shocking, not after what you’ve already learnt in the past few hours. You’ll listen to him and then hope he lets you go.
You follow Wonwoo silently, it almost feels like the one time you got in trouble with the principle in high school and the secretary led you down the long corridor to the principal’s office. You genuinely thought your life was over that day, now your life might actually be over, and you can’t bring yourself to even care that much.
When you reach the living room, Minghao and Chan are huddled over a phone, deep in conversation about something you don’t really have the energy to care about. Wonwoo launches onto the couch across from them, the large white u-shaped couch taking up half of the room. It’s only then that the other two realise you’re there.
“______!” Minghao springs to his feet, a weird sort of half smile on his face.
You just stand there. You don’t know what the fuck you’re meant to do when you’re left with the people who are to blame for most of your suffering, but who now seem to be the only people who can help you. Or who aren’t actively trying to kill you. Which is an improvement from a few hours ago, you suppose.
“Sit down, please…” why is he acting like he’s nervous?! This isn’t a fucking date or something. He’s basically just kidnapped you. Again.
“No, thank you.”
“I think you really are going to need to sit down,” Wonwoo mumbles, looking pretty nervous as he glances and Chan.
“I’d rather stay a good distance away from you.”
“We’ll all sit over here,” Minghao rushes to say, dragging Wonwoo off the couch and over to the side where he and Chan were sitting.
This is like one extreme to the other. One second, he’s letting his deranged pack of lunatics abuse you and the next he’s acting like you’re royalty, desperately trying not to upset you in anyway.
You sigh, there’s no point arguing with them and you are really fucking tired.
You lower yourself slowly onto the sofa, wincing at how it puts pressure on your ribs.
“Should we get you a doctor?”
“Stop acting like you care and just tell me what you wanted to tell me,”
Minghao ignores you, already turning to Chan to ask him something.
“Just how many levels of Candy Crush did you do for that doctor? Do you think he’d come here to check ______ over, when he’s done with Vernon.”
You must have concussion. All that hair pulling and slapping has addled your brain. Candy crush?! And what does that all have to do with Vernon?! They’re not honestly going to try and tell you that the mafia and your criminal father are feuding over Candy fucking Crush.
But if they’re talking about Vernon and someone being “done” with him. Does that mean he’s alive? Or this weird Candy Crush doctor is mutilating him?!
“Where is Vernon?” you interrupt their rambling.
Three sets of eyes snap to you.
“With a doctor at Seoul University Hospital.”
Good. That’s good. They’re not particularly famous for their mutilations.
“He’s alive?”
“He is. He should be out of surgery soon. See the doctor owed me a favour because I played Candy Crush for his wife......”
“We do not need to get into your weird fucking side quests again Chan.”
“Fuck you Wonwoo, it wasn’t a side quest, we had an appointment at the hospital!” he argues, gesturing at you.
When the hell did he go to the hospital with you?! Did you black out earlier and missed the part when he took you to the hospital? They did a pretty shit job of patching you up if that’s the case. The only other time you’ve been to the hospital was a few weeks ago, you needed your annual..........
“YOU FOLLOWED ME TO MY FUCKING PAP SMEAR?!”
It hurts to shout and they look shocked but you don’t fucking care. Is nothing in this world private anymore?!
“I waited in the cafeteria!!!! I didn’t see anything! Although it seems one of us has,” he smirks, looking at a wide eyed Minghao.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP CHAN.”
“Oh so you tell them but not those freaks you’ve got locked up, let them think I’m even more pathetic than I already am?!” you demand.
“I,” Wonwoo holds his hands up in surrender, “haven’t been told anything and so I’d quite like if we skip over this and you guys can circle back another time.”
You ignore Wonwoo.
“I’m not circling anywhere with a man who uses women for his own ends!”
“I didn’t use you!!”
You hear Wonwoo groan as he sinks into his seat but you don’t care, your eyes don’t leave Minghao’s furious ones, the tension in the air soaring higher each second.
“Oh I’m sorry. You fuck someone, you leave them on their own and then what was that other thing?........oh yeah!!! You let them get beaten to within an inch of their lives. And then you kidnap them. Twice!!!!”
Minghao’s breathing is ragged, eyes burning into yours though you notice he occasionally glances down at your lips. But you tell yourself that’s because they’re probably bleeding again with how much you’ve just been shouting. Not for any other reason. It’s clear now that anything you thought might be there, was all lies.
“I did not kidnap you!!!”
You stare at him, astonishment etched on your beaten features. He cannot be serious.
“Ok, well.....yeah maybe I did just now. But I didn’t do it to hurt you. And technically it was Mingyu who did....” his words trail off when he realises just how bad it sounds.
“We have bigger worries than your unresolved sexual tension.”
“FUCK OFF WONWOO!” you and Minghao shout in unison before you go back to glaring at each other.
“How sweet.” Chan claps, beaming at you both.
This is like being in a fucking bad dream. How are these men in charge of a criminal organisation?! They’re like a troop of failing comedians.
Minghao sighs. Looks at the ceiling and then looks back at you.
“I never wanted this job......”
“If this is some bullshit sob story that’s going to make me feel sorry for you before you wheel your pair of bumbling beef heads out to kill me, don’t bother.”
“It’s not. But I need you to know everything then we can figure out what we do next.”
“WE?! I’m not doing shit. I’m leaving this fucking country as soon as you let me go! Either that or I’ll die like you intended me to!”
“Can you please just hear me out. It’s important ______.”
You don’t answer him. You sit and stare, giving him the green light to carry on.
“I never wanted this life. My parents would be disgusted if they knew. But I wanted a job at Yoon and Associates when I was at university.”
“Last time I checked. You didn’t need to be head honcho in the mafia to get a job.”
He ignores you and carries on.
“My law professor, Mr Yoon, he was Jeonghan’s father.”
“Yoon Jeonghan?”
“Yeah, as in your old boss. His dad used to be me, the Yoon’s are an old crime family, and he used me to do a couple of drug drops that I didn’t realise were drops when I was applying for jobs. He said if I helped him, he’d help me get into Yoon and Associates and before I knew it. I was in too deep. He died. Other people died and somehow, I ended up at the head of this fucked up world.”
“Jeonghan is in on all this?!”
“He was, but not by choice. His mom ran that company before him and she’s as bad as his father, if not worse. The second his dad died, he cut all ties, made the company squeaky clean and wanted nothing to do with crime or his parents, once his mom retired. She’s in a retirement home now, can’t remember her own name.”
“That’s how you got me fired? You told Jeonghan who my dad was?”
“Fuck, you’re clever!”
Chan looks at you in amazement, like figuring that out was like solving world hunger.
“Anyway,” Minghao side eyes Chan and carries on, “your dad got cocky when he knew the Yoon’s weren’t involved anymore.”
“Sounds like him.” You huff out a sad laugh.
“But that’s not what I need to tell you. And I think if we put our heads together, we can end this whole fucking thing. All of us free of it.”
That does sound good. You’ve only known about it for less than a day. But you’ve been suffering because of it for years. And you don’t trust the three of them, but you also don’t have anyone else to trust.
“Why should I help you? If I even can.”
“Because.” He sighs, he looks almost scared of saying what he needs to. Whatever it is, it’s weighing heavy on him. “I went to your house before I found you.”
Makes sense. It’s the first place you’d check.
“I saw the photos in your room. Of you and your mom.”
You just glare at him, a little annoyed he’s bringing up your mom. It was the one time you felt like he was being genuine with you, when he spoke about your mom.
“A few months ago, me and Wonwoo had a meeting set up with your dad and his associate. Just the four of us. Anyone else and it was off. We’d never met before, still haven’t.”
“Ok?”
“When we turned up at the house he’d told us to go to, we checked it out a bit before we went in, from the car I mean. And we ended up leaving because there was someone else in the house with them.”
Your heart is pounding, you’ve no idea why, but you feel like your world is about to come crashing down just by how he’s talking. Even more than it already has.
“______. I don’t even know how to say this.” He looks at the ceiling again, gathering his thoughts. “That person in the house was a woman. She looked scared. She looked like she didn’t know what was happening. That woman,” he pauses, “is the same woman I saw in the photos in your room. The same woman in the photos of you and your mom.”
Silence. Nothing. You can’t even feel if you’re breathing anymore.
Is this some sick fucking joke?! Your mom’s death is just something he can use against you?!
“YOU’RE SICK. YOU KNOW THAT!!!!!”
He doesn’t look shocked. He was presumably expecting this reaction.
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me. And I get that. I got Wonwoo to check the cameras for that area. I knew there must be a chance something had picked her up somewhere. He found her graduation photo online, cross referenced it with the CCTV cameras in the area and he’s found her on there ______.”
You swear your heart is beating so fast you’re going to have a heart attack. This can’t be real? It just can’t. There’s no way she’d have left you like that.
“Do you want to see it? Wonwoo sent it to my phone.”
Your breathing is heavy, tears welling in your eyes. You don’t know if you do want to see it. Whilst you haven’t seen it, this is just some cruel joke that Minghao is using to ruin you even more. The second you see it. It’s reality. She’s been alive all this time and never tried to find you. The one person you were certain loved you. Who cared for you. All another lie.
But you need to know. You need to see her.
“Show me. Please.” It’s more of a whisper, your whole body in state of shock.
Minghao gets up and makes his way over to you, settling a healthy distance away from you, knowing you probably won’t want him close to you. Not after everything that’s happened tonight. Even Chan and Wonwoo look pale and anxious, their bickering grinding to a firm halt.
His screen lights up. He opens his messages and clicks on the photo.
He hands the phone to you. But 10 seconds later it hits the ground, with a thud that matches your breaking heart.
“Why?” you cry, your heart aching and body screaming in even more pain, “WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?! I thought.... I thought she loved me. I thought someone loved me,” your last words are more sobs than fully formed words.
Minghao moves towards you, you fight him off as best you can for a few seconds before your body gives in. You slump into his arms, them securing round you like a safety blanket as you cry into his chest. Your whole body shaking as you try to catch your breath between sobs. Your cracked ribs and bruises aren’t even the most painful thing anymore, it’s the spiralling knowledge that the one truth you thought you knew, was yet another lie.
Your dad. Your brother. They let you believe she was dead?! Years you’ve struggled to come to terms with it, no one ever letting you mourn her fully. It drove you to fucking depression in high school and all the time she was alive?!
“Let it all out _____, you’re safe.” Minghao whispers to you, hand rubbing soothing circles on your back as he holds your body close to him.
“T-they,” you cry, “they let m-me think she’d been killed. They wouldn’t talk to me about her. I needed her Minghao, I n-needed her and I meant nothing to her. What have I done? Why does nobody f-fucking care?”
Minghao looks over at his friends as he rests his head on yours, swaying you slightly like you’d do with a baby, hoping they’d know what to do. There must be something he can say to help, to stop the pain you’re going through.
But all he sees in his friend’s eyes are tears. The sight of someone so used and broken in front of them breaking their hearts and making them hope they never forget this image. Because one thing is for certain, they never want to have been one of the causes for someone feeling the way you are now, ever again in their lives.
So Minghao does all he can do. He lets you cry. He whispers that you’re safe and he lets you cry some more. Until eventually your crying stops, your breathing finally steadies and you sniffle into his chest.
You don’t let go of him though. You can’t. Him holding you is the only thing keeping you from having a panic attack at this moment in time and luckily, he seems to have no intentions of letting you go. His arms hold you tight and his head rests on yours like he’s cocooning you from anything else happening.
You shouldn’t feel safe with him. But you haven’t got it in you to question why you do.
At some point you must’ve dosed off, everything that’s happened to you and the revelations you’d learnt catching up to you as you sobbed into Minghao’s arms. A banging on the door breaks through your dreams though and brings you crashing back down to reality, jolting you awake and realising that Minghao is still holding you close to him whilst he sends Chan to answer the door.
He must sense the panic building in your body at the idea of someone else arriving sends fear running through you again, certain that the temporary safety in this house that seems to hold so many secrets, was too good to be true. You tear yourself away from him, noting his hands try to keep you close, but now you’re fully awake, all you feel is pathetic. Finding comfort in the man that used you, hurt you and let others almost destroy you.
“It isn’t them _____.” He says softly, his fingers twitching like he wants to pull you back to him, but he holds himself back. You don’t want his fake pity or whatever the fuck is making him pretend to want to help you.
“I think I should go,” you mumble, looking round like something might appear to help you out of this mess. But where are you even planning on going? You can’t go back to Woozi, they’ve done enough with cleaning you up and letting you stay even for a short amount of time.
“Where? We need to sort this out”
“Sort what out? What the hell do you expect me to do Minghao? In the space of a night, I’ve found out my dad and brother are corrupt, you are…whatever the fuck you are, I’ve been used and beaten and now I find out that the one person who I thought loved me, didn’t. What do you want me to do?” You wipe a stray tear off your cheek, looking between Minghao and Wonwoo.
“I…..” Minghao sighs, looking like he’s struggling to find the right words, “I want to make this right. I want to help you. All of us.”
“You want my help to pin something on my dad, then you can all get away with it, and I’m left with nothing and no-one. I won’t even have a place to live if you have my dad sent down Minghao. Between all of you, you’ve made it so I’m completely isolated. And now you say you want to help me?!”
He opens his mouth but before any words can escape, someone follows Chan into the room.
“This had better be worth my while Minghao, I don’t appreciate being woken up this early in the morning.”
Jeonghan. Just what you need, your old boss who probably thinks you’re some sort of Mafia boss in waiting, destined to take over your dad’s criminal empire.
“Fucking hell,” he looks at you, eyes wide, “what the hell happened to you?!”
“You believed whatever tale he told you,” you point Minghao, who’s still sitting on the sofa with you, “and now I’ve just found out that my dad is a criminal, this idiot is some sort of mafia king, and my dead mom is alive. Oh! And I’ve been dragged, punched, hit, I think at one point one of them spat on me! But what about you, have you been well?” You ask sarcastically, you don’t owe any of these men anything, especially not your pleasantries.
Jeonghan stares at you, clearly trying to make any sense of what you’ve just told him.
“Please,” Minghao gestures to Jeonghan, “sit down. I need your help.”
You glower at Jeonghan who looks like he’s scared you’re about to pounce at him as he walks past you.
“I don’t want anything to do with the illegal bullshit my parents were in with Minghao, I’ve told you that.”
He looks just how you remember him, perfectly fitted double breasted suit, from only one of the top designers. His hair is a little longer than you remember but it suits him. You remember when you first started at Yoon and Associates, his whole aura was intimidating. He’s beautiful in that classic sort of way and his intelligence is that of a mensa member, add onto that his kindness for his employees, and he was a formidable man to encounter. But you can’t find it in you to be in awe of him, or anyone, you just want this whole thing to be over.
“I know you don’t. But I think you’re going to know a lot more than I do.”
Jeonghan looks between the three men, his eyes then lingering on you and you sense that his intrigue in what’s going on is overruling his wanting to stay out of things.
“I have questions before we proceed.” His says, eyes still on you.
“Go on,”
“Not you. ______.”
Why you feel the need to look for Minghao for reassurance is beyond you, but you find yourself needing to know that he’s there before you agree to answer Jeonghan’s question. He nods and you note his fingers twitching again like he wants to reach for you, but why the hell would he want to do that when he’s behaved the way he has?!
You nod at your old boss though, allowing him to ask his question.
“Who did this to you?”
“I did.” Minghao interrupts before you can answer.
“I’ve no doubt you ordered it,” Jeonghan says smoothly, glancing at Minghao but quickly diverting his eyes back to you, “who did this to you? Was it Mingyu?” you nod, “Seungcheol? Jihyun? Soonyul?”
“How did you know that?” you narrow your eyes at him, wondering how he knew all four names.
“Because they did the same to me once upon a time. No…..” he stops you when you turn to stare at Minghao in disgust, “it wasn’t him, in fact what he did that night is the only reason I’m here, I owe him. My dad sent his thugs after me when I said I’d have nothing to do with all this bullshit, Minghao is the only person who stopped them.”
So, he does have it in him to stop people harming others then? It’s just you he doesn’t see the point in saving? You haven’t even got it in you to cry anymore, and you certainly don’t see the point in staying quiet. What more could possibly happen to you if you stand up for yourself.
“So you can do that then? Stop them from hurting someone?”
“______........”
You ignore him and turn your attention back to Jeonghan, you can’t look him in the eyes because there’s something drawing you to him even now.
“Was that all you wanted to know?”
Jeonghan’s eyes flit between you and Minghao like he’s trying to work out the dynamic, but he soon gives it up when he realises neither of you are going to say anything more.
“No. You say you’ve just found out about your dad, does this mean you were at my company for legitimate reasons?”
“I was there to uphold the law with the degree I worked my ass off to get. But what the hell does that matter now?”
“I just wanted to clarify.” He shrugs.
“There’s me thinking it might be to apologise?” you scoff, lifting your legs to cross them onto the sofa, forgetting the excruciating pain that comes with that. “I don’t need any of your help.” You scowl when all four men move to help you.
“I don’t remember you being so stand offish,” Jeonghan frowns.
“Yeah well shit happens, doesn’t it? I don’t really feel like being very nice to people, it hasn’t got me very fucking far has it?”
Silence. For four men that always have a lot to say, they’re pretty fucking quiet now.
“Are you going to get on with this or should we all start singing kumbaya and holding hands.”
Chan’s snort of laughter cuts through the silence but you weren’t saying it to be funny. You just want to know what the fuck is happening.
“R-right, yeah, sorry. Jeonghan, ______’s mom worked for you,” your eyes snap to Minghao, why is he talking about your mom? “did you know who she was?”
“I did. Do you know what your mom was doing?” Jeonghan asks you.
You wish people would stop asking you this. Because as it turns out, you clearly don’t really have any grasp of what anyone does around you. In fact, it seems like you’ve been gleefully wandering around the world with your eyes closed, if the past twenty-four hours are anything to go by.
“Well, if she worked at your company, she was probably a lawyer. But you’re probably about to tell me she was an assassin or some shit.”
Chan snorts again but quickly bites his lips when he’s sees you glaring at him.
“She was head of litigation. I only knew her for six months before she died…..”
“She’s not dead.”
“Excuse me?!”
“She isn’t dead. I thought she was but apparently, I’m not worthy of knowing she’s alive.”
Jeonghan looks at Minghao who you see nod a little out of the corner of your eye.
“Ok?” he says slowly, “anyway, she was working there and knew everything about my parents’ real business,”
“So she was a criminal too?” you shake your head, not believing this is happening again.
“No! She wasn’t! She’d been there a long time before I got there. When she realised I wasn’t like my parents, she asked me to help her. When she married your dad, she thought it was for love. It turns out that he knew she worked at Yoon and Associates and the whole thing was built on him being able to have someone on the inside. He was a junior cop at that point, but his dad was head of police, your grandfather I mean. And when she found out one night that her whole marriage was built on a lie, she vowed to break it apart.”
How can this keep happening? Why every single time someone tells you something does it feel even worse than the last? He used your mother. He married her, built a home with her all so he could spin a bigger criminal web?!
“Their whole marriage was a lie?” you ask quietly, tears coursing down your cheeks. “Get off!” You blast Minghao when his arm goes to wrap around you to comfort you.
“I was just trying to……”
“Keep your fake comfort for someone who matters to you.”
He looks like he wants to argue with you, but Jeonghan saves him by carrying on with his initial story.
“It was. I was working with her to try and bring it all crashing down but then she died…..or didn’t die. The drug business carried on, until years later some bright young student caught my dad’s eye,” he smiles sadly at Minghao, “he died left the business to Minghao about two years ago and my mom retired. The law firm had just got clean when you started and then I get told who your dad is and I panicked, I couldn’t take the risk of it starting again. I hated it. So I let you go. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” you pout, eyes narrowing at Minghao.
But this time you find you can’t draw your eyes away from him. There’s a sadness in them when he stares back you, but also a glint of something else, the same something else you saw that night that you thought meant something.
Silence washes over the room as you and Minghao can’t take your eyes off each other.
“Are they always like this?” Jeonghan whispers to Chan and Wonwoo.
Wonwoo just shrugs, trying to not pay attention to whatever is happening in front of him. But Chan is thriving, like drama and gossip are the only things that fuel him.
“I think they love each other. It’s all very Romeo and Juliet don’t you think?”
“Should we stop them?” Jeonghan looks at the two of you warily, as you continue to stare at each other.
“No….” Chan tries to say but huffs when Jeonghan interrupts whatever the hell is happening here.
“So, what do you need?” He says loudly, both you and Minghao jumping when you realise you weren’t listening at all.
The jumping makes your ribs throb again and Minghao moves once again to comfort you, like you being in pain, makes him hurt too.
“Don’t touch me!!”
“Fine,” he holds his hands up, leaning away from you on the sofa, “I’m sorry.”
“Jeonghan. He has the drugs that came in this morning, do you have any idea where he’d be keeping them? Any addresses you and _____’s mom found when she was at the company?”
You huff out an incredulous laugh, he just wants the drugs back? That’s what all this is about, even now?
“What?”
“Nothing. I forgot the drugs are more important than me that’s all.” You nod, getting up from the sofa slowly, clutching your side and making your way out of the room. You can’t stand to be reminded of how worthless you are unless it means them getting what you want.
“______, that’s not what I meant!” Minghao rushes to stand up, watching as you leave the room. “I just need to know where they are then we can end all this!”
“Yeah right,” you ignore him and shuffle towards the dining room where you’d been earlier, “just let me know when you’ve all decided what’ll happen to me.”
You don’t look back, just wander through the house until you make it to the dining room. Far enough away from them that you that you don’t have to hear that you’re just a pawn to every single one of them.
“Can I come in?”
The sound of Minghao’s voice startles you. You’d completely zoned out, ignoring everything around you whilst you try to come to terms with the fact that literally your whole life is built on lies.
“It’s your house,” you shrug, trying to not look at him.
It all feels too familiar, sitting at this table, in this house. Yes, you’d only been here once but with it only being last night, and what happened on the very table in front of you, it just makes your heart ache. You weren’t happy, you were still alone and hating life, but you didn’t know everything then and you felt at least some comfort from having Minghao close to you. Even if it was a lie.
He brushes past you and takes the same seat he was in during the dinner with his parents.
“Am I being taken to the gallows then?” you smile sadly, playing with your fingers.
“We’ve moved on a bit since the gallows. We stick to guns now.”
You know he’s trying to carry on your joke, but you don’t really see the funny side.
“Sorry. That was the wrong thing to say.”
He doesn’t get a response, you just nod once and keep taking a particular interest in your fingers nails. You’d painted them for the dinner with Minghao’s parents. Even though the occasion was odd, being able to dress up and do something other than wallow in your own self-pity was thrilling. Now all your nails hold is the chips that youyour earned along the way as Mingyu dragged you into the club.
“The others have gone.”
“Why?” you frown.
“Jeonghan thinks he has an address for where your dad might be hiding the stuff.”
“I’m pleased for you.”
“Wonwoo and Chan have gone to the house where I was meant to have that meeting with your dad. Where I saw your mom,”
You’re certain your heart has stopped. Either that or it’s permanently moved into your throat because you feel like you’re about to faint.
“Why?!”
“Because I don’t think you heard everything I said before. Baby......I-i mean ______.” He blushes when you look at him, his mistake making your head spin more than it should. “When I saw her. She looked scared. Yes, it was just through the window but I know fear when I see it. If we can get her away from them, we will.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because those pictures I saw, they don’t lie ______. Your mom was so proud of you in those photos, the woman in them wouldn’t leave you behind willingly. I think your dad has a lot more to answer for than either of us will ever probably find out. But if one thing can come from it, I hope it’s that your mom can get here safely.”
“So you believe she wasn’t involved in all this?”
“Jeonghan has no reason to lie.”
“What happens now?”
“When Jeonghan gets back to us, I’ll head over there, check what’s going on and if I can, I’ll call a guy I know in the cops that hates your dad. With what we have and what Jeonghan has, we think we can take them all down without us being caught up in it. The police will think your dad was just carrying on what old Mr Yoon started, there’s no trace of the rest of us.”
“So you come out of this squeaky clean? Pretty good going,” you mumble sarcastically, desperately trying not to look at him, especially after the baby slip up.
“Once I know your dad is in custody, I’ll let Wonwoo and Chan know to try and get your mom.”
You’re not sure why but the idea of seeing your mom makes you nervous, what if she never wanted to see you again? What if she doesn’t want to see you now?
“What’s wrong? Apart from the obvious I mean, which I’m sorry for if it helps at all.”
“Sorry for what exactly? For using me? For letting me think I meant something and then ignoring me? Or for letting those animals do what they did?”
“I hated watching what they were doing.”
“And yet you still did! You let them keep going even though I kept telling you I didn’t know anything!”
“There was still a chance you were lying! That you were working for your dad!”
“Was there anything I did that would suggest I even knew about my dad. Even my fucking therapist turned out to be a lie!”
“I’m sorry!” he cries, like really cries which catches you entirely by surprise. “I hated it! I never wanted any of this! I wanted to make my parents proud, and I got dragged into this bullshit and once you’re in, you can’t get out!”
Your hands itch to comfort him, that pull still there though you remain strong. Well.......you decide to sit on your hands then you’re not tempted to comfort him.
“And that night, it was all a set up. I wasn’t drunk. I was going to get to your place, fool around a little bit and wait for you to go to sleep,” your heart sinks at that, you’re not sure why. You knew it was all a lie but it still hurts. “But then you were so fucking kind, and you seemed to care about what I said. And then I looked at you,” he smiles sadly, looking at you out the corner of his eye, “and you were so fucking beautiful. You are so fucking beautiful and I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t lying last night when I said I remembered everything, it meant something to me. You mean something to me. It fucking broke me to leave you that morning. I spent a good twenty minutes just watching you sleep for fucks sake.”
“But still found it in you to search the house.”
“I didn’t. I wandered round your dad’s office, just thinking about how much I wanted to be back with you, holding you. But I couldn’t do anything, this life it consumes you ______. So I left. Acted like it meant nothing and ignored you.”
“You expect me to believe it meant something when I’m left feeling like a worthless piece of trash and you continue fucking anyone and everyone at the club?”
“I’m not proud of that. But it’s just how I dealt with it. All I can do is apologise.”
You risk looking at him and you wish you hadn’t, his swollen eyes and damp cheeks break your heart. Every part of you wants to believe him but you don’t watch someone you care about being beaten the way he did.
“You still let Mingyu drag me out of here, let all of them do whatever they wanted to, you don’t do that to someone you care about.”
“I’ve no way of even asking for your forgiveness for that. It is unforgivable. But I just need you to know I am sorry. And it did mean something. And you’re not unlovable, I’m sorry I played any part in making you feel the way you have been.”
Your whole head, no your whole world, feels like it’s spinning. There’s too much new information, too many emotions trying to vie for top position in your mind, that it makes you feel like wanting to scream. Or cry. Or both, probably. But instead, you just sit in silence, trying to make sense of everything.
“Do you think my mom...” you’ve no idea why you’re asking him, but he’s the only person you have right now, “do you think she really didn’t leave me? That it was all my dad and brother?”
Minghao thinks for a second, before he finally turns to face you. Your mind flashes with how his hands felt on you last night but you will them to disappear.
“I think your dad is a bastard. And I don’t think he has an ounce of care in his body. Your mom was trying to end all this and like I said, those photos, you could feel the love coming from them.”
“Do you think she’ll want to see me?”
“I think she’d want to see you _____,” he chuckles, his fingers twitching to take yours again though he resists, “but please don’t get your hopes up. The guys will try to get to her but just don’t get your hopes up.”
That’s sensible. You get it. But fuck would it be amazing to see her, to have her hold you close and tell you everything will be ok. To have someone in your life that has your back no matter what.
A knock on the door shocks you, your ribs flashing in pain once again when your body jolts. Minghao stands but pauses as if asking if he should help you.
“Go,” you sigh, clutching your side but waving him off with your other hand.
You watch as he rushes off, wondering if anything he’s just told you is true or not. You want it to be. You want more than anything for it to all be true. And it’s not even that you think anything could happen between you, he still let you get hurt, but just to know that you didn’t imagine everything, that it did mean something more than a quick fuck helps. Even just a little bit.
“_____, this is Dr Park. He’s just operated on Vernon, I asked if he could check you over? If that’s ok?”
You stare at the man, squinting to see his hospital id because even now, he could be another thug in disguise for all you know. But his id checks out and he seems a kind, if not slightly bewildered man.
“Is Vernon ok?”
“He is,” he sighs, “I told him to stay put but he wouldn’t have it. He’s gone home to his mom and dad and discharged himself. He gave me some cash, asked me to buy this and give it to you though.”
Dr Park hands you a bottle of pancake batter with a note attached.
I said I’d buy you breakfast, didn’t I? I meant what I said, you’re stronger than you realise. I’m heading back home, this big city bullshit isn’t for me. Stay safe _____!
Ps. It was Minghao that got you out, I just did what I was told. I’m fucking shit under pressure!
You read the note twice before you finally glance at a very confused looking Minghao. In fact both men look a little confused as to why you’ve been sent a seemingly useless gift. But to you, it warms your heart. You’re just relieved he’s alive, that he’s managed to get out of all of this and go home to his parents. He never seemed like the rest of them and it turns out he wasn’t. His revelation about Minghao surprises you though. So that’s why all the doors were open, why he came back after the rest of them with Wonwoo and Vernon. He told them how to get you out.
“Shall I check you over then? Then this bizarre night can be over?”
“My friend’s girlfriend already cleaned out the cuts on my face and gave me a box of antibiotics,” you look around you, “although I think I left them there when I was taken...I mean when Minghao came to get me.” you cover for Minghao.
“That’s fine. I brought some with me,” he scratches his head like he wants this all to be done with, “if you can take your top off, I’ll check your back and ribs. Chan said you were clutching your sides. Last time I get some random man to play candy crush...” he trails off as he waits for you to stand up.
“I’ll go.” Minghao rushes to leave the room.
A part of you wants to get him to stay but he’s gone before you can even ask.
“This will only take a few minutes.”
And he wasn’t lying. He checks your bruises, mumbling about how you should really have an x-ray but signs you off with a few cracked ribs that should apparently heal on their own, and some bruises.
He barely waits for you to thank him before you hear the door shut and Minghao reappears in the room.
“Well?”
“Cracked ribs and bruising. But nothing life threatening. You’ll have get Mingyu to try harder next time.”
“That. He will.”
Your blood runs cold as Minghao moves to stand in front of you when someone appears at the other door to the dining room from where he’s just been.
“How the fuck did you four get out?”
“Wonwoo asked Chan to get his laptop. And he did, but he forgot the other one when he panicked at the sight of Cheol’s gun. So we managed to get out. This all looks very cosy? You been playing us Minghao? Working with her all along?”
“Of course not you fucking idiot! I’m your boss!”
Mingyu scoffs, moving into the room to allow the other three to come in too. Your heart is hammering as you hide behind Minghao, his hand reaches for yours and he pulls you closer to him then you’re completely shielded against him.
“Oh how sweet!” Seungcheol pouts, fists balling at his sides, “you have been playing us!”
“It took you all these hours to figure out how to use a laptop?”
Why is he antagonising them?! He may be their boss but it’s clear they’re out for blood.
“You know I’m pleased we never slept together.” Soonyul adds in. “You clearly have no taste.”
“Who I fuck is none of your business. But if you want to know. Nothing happened with either of you two because you’re the most disgusting pair of human beings I’ve ever met, except of course for those two.” He points at Mingyu and Seungcheol.
Although you’re pleased he’s putting them in their place, you just wish he’d shut his damn mouth. They have guns. You have a box of antibiotics and two cracked ribs. Unless Minghao has a gun hidden in his t-shirt and sweats, you’re very much at a disadvantage here.
“I’ll fucking kill you both!!!!”
But just as you brace, clutching Minghao’s back whilst he shields you, four loud gun shots ripple through you, your ear drums ringing as the four of them fall to the ground. Blood spills over the floor and you peer round Minghao to see what’s happened. He turns slightly and takes you into his arms, checking you over to make sure nothing happened to you, before he looks to see who exactly just saved your life.
You just stare at the bodies on the ground. This is first time you’ve seen a dead body and even though you hate them, the sight is truly disturbing. The fact life can just end like that, in the blink of an eye, that could’ve been y.....
“Joonho?”
WHAT?! Minghao’s hold on you tightens, though loosens a little when he hears you wince because he’s inadvertently pressed your ribs when he saw your brother standing in the doorway.
“Don’t do anything fucking stupid. I mean it!”
“I’m not going to do anything,” he holds his hands up, putting the gun on the floor. “Are you ok?”
Your brother just stopped you from being killed? But why?! He’s in it all with your dad, you know he is. He’s never shown any care for you, he’s always been worse than your dad in some respects. Especially with what he did with your best friend and that stuff with the therapist. And he knew about your mom. Now you think about it, why the fuck is he asking if you’re ok?!
“Why do you even care? Why are you here? You wanted to kill me before anyone else?”
“_____, if I wanted to kill, I wouldn’t be likely to put my gun on the floor, would I?”
That’s true. Though you don’t trust him.
“Sit down ______.”
“No.” You cling to Minghao. Ironically, he’s the only person you feel any ounce of safety with.
“Hao!” you hear Wonwoo in the distance, “get her to sit down!”
Minghao frowns, not used to not knowing what’s going on but ushers you to sit down anyway.
“What the fuck is going on? How dare you fucking come here and act like this. You’ve treated me like shit all my life and then you come here and ask me if I’m ok?” you ramble on at your whilst your brother moves the bodies to the side of the room, not a care in the world for the fact he’s smearing blood everywhere. “I told you I wanted to end everything. Your sister tells you that she wants to end her life and you send her to a fake therapist. I thought it was fucking weird you were being helpful.....”
“For the love of everything in this fucking world ______, will you shut the fuck up!!!”
Well. At least you know it’s still very much your brother, fucking asshole.
“Don’t speak to her like that!”
“I’ll deal with you and the fact my sister is in that state later,” Joonho points at Minghao now he’s moved the last body to the side.
“Like you care Joonho, you’re such a hypo.......” your words are cut off when your heart now fully stops working. You’re certain your body can’t take much more shock but somehow it is doing.
This can’t be real? Tears cascade from your swollen eyes, a weird mix of relief and pain swirling through your veins as you lay eyes on the one person you’ve wanted to see every day for well over a decade.
“MOM?!”
You run to her, them all wanting you to sit down be damned, you ignore the pain in your body because the only thing on your mind is to get to her. Your feet are covered in the blood that’s decorating the floor but you don’t care, you launch yourself into her arms, Wonwoo and Chan making sure you don’t throw yourself and your mom on the ground as you sob into her shoulder. The feeling of finally being back in your mom’s arms, the feeling of warmth that only a mother can bring overpowering any pain or fear you might’ve just been feeling.
“Oh my sweet girl,” she says softly as she holds you close, stroking your hair and comforting you as you cry. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”
She pulls back to really look at you, wiping your cheeks with her thumbs and frowning at the state she finds you in. “You’re even more beautiful than you looked in the photos. I’m so proud of you _____. So incredibly proud.” She pulls you back into her arms and all you can do is cry.
Joonho gestures for the others to follow him, Minghao not really wanting to leave you, but Wonwoo and Chan seem to think this is safe and so he gives in. He knows his friends won’t let anything bad happen to him or you.
You don’t really care what anyone else is doing. You’re back in your mom’s arms, the teenage girl that mourned her finally feeling whole again and healing something inside you that you thought would ache for a lifetime.
You’ve never really had a family Christmas. Your dad and brother would always pick up extra shifts so you were alone. When you were with Woozi, you had perfect Christmas days with his family but that feels like a life time ago now.
If you did have family Christmases though, you’re certain it would feel like this. Particularly if they all hated each other. You’re all sitting around Minghao’s living room, each sofa holding two of you. Your mom and brother. Wonwoo and Chan. And you and Minghao. Your mom didn’t question why you instinctively sat with him, you didn’t question it until you realised you’d done it. All you can think is that it’s some sort of trauma bonding or Stockholm syndrome, but you can’t seem to feel safe unless he’s there.
You’re currently waiting for Jeonghan, him seemingly having had a great deal to do with the fact that Wonwoo and Chan arrived back with your mom and brother. Joonho had seen Seungcheol getting stuck in the window as they snuck into the house, as they pulled up out front, and knew he had to rush ahead of your mom and the others to make sure they didn’t do anything stupid.
But you can’t get your head round the fact that he’s helped you. And that he seemingly has a great relationship with your mom, holding her hand and fussing over her broken toe. Which you’ve since found out is why Wonwoo and Chan were having to help her in the house, Chan having been the idiot that broke her toe when he smacked a door into her by accident.
Other than that, you know nothing.
It feels like you’ve been waiting hours, your mom trying to make small talk with you, but you feel a weird shyness around her. Like you don’t know how to speak to her or how to act. The last time she saw you, you were a teenager and an awful lot has happened since then. One thing you do realise though, is that she knows a lot more about you than you were expecting, your brother having seemingly kept her up to date with your life and shown her photos of you through the years.
None of this makes any sense.
All you know is that Minghao protected you when those hooligans reappeared earlier and somehow that has triggered something in you that hopes he’ll keep you safe, whatever you’re about to find out. Even after everything he’s put you through.
“Where the fuck is he? I’m starving, I want to order food!”
“Do you want me to make you something?”
“Mom, he broke your toe. You’re not making him anything.”
You watch your brother like a hawk, not trusting anything he does. You’re not even sure you trust your mom yet.
“I didn’t break her toe on purpose. _____, tell him I’m not like that!”
“I’ve known you twenty-four hours and before that you were stalking me. I’ve no idea what you’re like.”
“You were stalking my sister?! You said I could trust you!”
“Don’t you shout at him like that! He might be a stalker but you’re fucked in the head!” you defend Chan.
“_____!!” your mother scolds you.
“Do you know what it’s been like, living with him and my dad?! You think I owe him anything?!” The fact she feels like she can scold you annoys you no end.
“I know what’s been happening. I’m not happy about it. But I know.”
You stare at her in horror. She knew?! She knew your dad and brother were behaving like a pair of callous bastards and yet she wants you to be pleasant to him?!
“I think we just need to wait for Jeonghan.” Minghao tries to calm the situation.
“And you can shut up too!” You turn on him. He might be your safe space right now, but he’s still lied and basically ruined your life.
“Why am I being shouted at?!”
“Oh where should I start?!”
You glare at each other, not hearing the door or noticing Wonwoo rushing off to answer it. Seconds pass by but you still glower at Minghao, caught between anger, confusion and you hate to admit it, arousal, at the way he clenches his jaw.
“They’re still doing that then? Just looking at each other?” Jeonghan asks as Wonwoo rolls his eyes and throws himself back on the sofa.
“Mrs ______!” his booming voice pulls you and Minghao out of whatever the hell you were doing, “It’s wonderful to see you! _____ you must be relieved!”
You just smile and nod. You are relieved. But you’re also hurt and betrayed that she seemingly knows what’s been happening and never tried to stop it.
“Can we skip the pleasantries and just tell us what’s happening?”
Jeonghan frowns, eyes flitting between Minghao and your mom, your mom waving off Minghao’s short temper and ushering Jeonghan to carry on.
“Right. Your dad _____, he’s in custody. As are all of his associates. There’s enough information and intel in all the combined files to have him sent down for the rest of his life. He can’t hurt any of you anymore.”
Relief washes over you but one thing pisses you off, though you bite your tongue. He can’t hurt any of you? As far as you can tell, you’re the only one hurt here. Your mom’s toe not included. And obviously not including the four dead bodies that lay in a grave in the garden. But your brother is perfectly fine. Your mom too, though you don’t know what she’s been through. The only one that bares any scars from all of this, is you.
“You mean he can’t hurt _____. As far as I can tell, she’s the only one who’s been hurt.” Your eyes snap to Minghao, not expecting him to be the one to stand up for you.
“Yeah. By you.”
“You think not finding help for someone who’s suicidal is taking care of them, Joonho? Or making it seem like she doesn’t even exist? I saw that house, it’s like she doesn’t even live there. I’m not proud of what I’ve done but you’ve made her so fucking isolated, she had no-one.”
Your brother opens and closes his mouth like an idiotic fish. No come back for anything Minghao just said.
“You don’t know what it’s been like, dealing with my dad!” he settles on.
But Minghao ignores him, just simply turns back to Jeonghan and waits for him to carry on.
“Well. That’s all I’ve got.” Jeonghan says, taking a seat on the coffee table. “I did my bit, helped you how I could.”
“That doesn’t explain how you two are here?” Minghao looks back at your brother and mom.
“When we got to that house,” Wonwoo buts in, wanting all this to be over sooner rather than later, “he found us outside,” he points to your brother, “I thought he was going to kill us, but he didn’t. He went back in the house, got his mom and came out. Asked to be brought wherever _____ was, we didn’t really have a choice, he had a gun but we presumed your mom wouldn’t cause you any harm _____.”
“Yeah,” you scoff, “because that assumption really worked out for you when you thought my dad was going to turn up when I almost got killed.”
“I would never let anything happen to you ______.”
You gawk at her. She might be your mom and you might have missed her. But you literally have broken ribs. Something has happened to you.
“Do I look well to you?!”
“No,” she pleads, “But I didn’t know all of this was going on! I knew things weren’t great at home, like I just told you, but I didn’t know all of this!”
“You seem pretty close with him,” you glare at your brother, “why should I trust you?”
“Because I’m your mom! I love you!”
“You don’t pretend to be dead if you love someone. You don’t leave your daughter with a dangerous criminal and his psycho son when you love them. I needed you,” you sob, you can’t hold it back any longer, “no-one would talk about you. No-one let me grieve you!” you don’t even fight Minghao off this time when he wraps an arm around you.
“You know I got diagnosed with depression when I was 15?” you wipe your eyes, not caring that they all hear this, “do you know how much it took for me to get help? Your perfect son didn’t help me. Dad didn’t help me. I had to find help on my own and when I finally get over it, manage make a life for myself, finally find someone who loved me, he ruined it!” you point at your brother. “He drove Woozi away. He drove my best friend away too! And you want me to believe you love me?!”
Minghao tries to soothe you, rubbing your arm and holding you close as your mom and brother both wipe tears away, looking almost in pain at your suffering.
“WHY ARE YOU CRYING JOONHO?! YOU DID THIS. YOU ALL DID THIS. WHY CRY?!”
“Because I know I treated you like shit! It was the only way I could keep dad on side and thinking I was his perfect criminal heir, the next in line to be a corrupt cop! I never wanted to do all of this! I only know mom is alive because he thinks I’m as fucked in the head as him. She’s only alive because I couldn’t treat her the way he wanted me to. He had her locked up _____. I persuaded him that she was useful, he let her move into a house, thought she was helping out with legal things and shit like that. But I couldn’t tell you. You’d have wanted to see her, you’d have ruined everything.”
“What because I’m so fucking useless?! Why do you all think I’m so fucking terrible?! What have I ever done to any of you?!”
“Nothing! But _____, you’d have wanted to see mom. You know you would. And whilst you thought she was dead, you were safe. You knew nothing about what was going on, about what dad is, you being oblivious to it all kept you safe!!”
“It was keeping me safe when you fucked my best friend?! You just tripped and fell into her?!”
“_____!!”
You ignore your mom’s outrage and the glares Minghao and Wonwoo send Chan when he snorts in laughter. You want answers. It’s all well and good him saying he didn’t mean it but there was no reason for treating her the way he did.
“That was fucked up,” he glances at your mom who seemingly knows nothing about your brother and your best friend, “but in my defence, we were both drunk, we both agreed it was a one-time thing and then she kept trying go on dates with me and wanting more.”
You just glare at him. He’s such a man. You hate it.
“That’s not how you treat a woman Joonho, I thought you knew better than that.”
“Fucking idiot.”
“_____, will you please stop swearing. I’m just getting my head round you being here in front of me, a fully grown adult!”
“AND HOW IS THAT MY FAULT?!”
Why are you getting fucking scolded by your mom when it’s quite obvious, you’re the only one in this room that hasn’t done something illegal in your life.
“It isn’t,” she sighs, “just please listen and then hopefully you’ll understand a little better.”
“I doubt it,” you pout, shrugging Minghao’s arm off you and waiting for several explanations.
“When I married your dad, I thought he loved me. I thought it was perfect. But it was all a lie, he was just using me.”
You give Minghao a very pointed look, Chan snorting again on the sofa to the side of you.
“Do you have a sinus problem Chan? Do you have to keep snorting like that?”
“That’s fucking rude! I thought we were friends!”
“You’re a stalker. Not my friend.”
Chan looks like he wants to cry whilst Wonwoo smirks behind his hand. Your mom doesn’t let the petty arguing carry on though.
“When I found that out, found out everything that he was doing. I started working to bring him down. If he was gone, I could get you two away from him. He was only with me because of Yoon and Associates, so I knew there must be information there, that would help.”
She smiles at Jeonghan, him staring at her in a weird sort of awe. It must be strange, to have the person who was guiding you in your first professional job, who you thought was dead, to be sat in front of you.
“But he found out. He faked a car crash, locked me up and spent the next few years feeding me bread and milk and telling me if I tried to escape, he’d kill you both.” Guilt ripples through you, that must’ve been fucking terrifying. To be locked up and not know whether the man you thought you loved, had killed your children.
“When he turned up one day with your brother, saying he was going into the police force to follow in his footsteps, I thought he’d turned you both against everything I believed. That you’d both turned out just like him.”
“I didn’t know she was alive until a year or so after we were told _____. I didn’t speak to you about her because dad said I shouldn’t. He scared me. He still does. If I did as I was told. No one got hurt.”
Tears fall but your body doesn’t move. You just feel numb. All of this going on around you and you never knew. He did all that, to keep you safe even then.
“When I signed up for the police force, he truly thought I was just like him. He thought I’d revel in mom being locked up the way she was. All I felt was sick. But he’s fucking greedy. It’s the one thing I knew about him for sure, that he would do anything for money and power. And so I said that mom knew the ins and outs of Yoon and Associates and surely that was useful. It took months but finally he let me move her to a house where she could live securely. She was still locked in most of the time unless I could make sure she could go out without him knowing. But it was better than the cell he had her in. When he thought I was there to get information from her about what Jeonghan might be doing, it’d be some bullshit that didn’t matter anymore, and I got to make sure she ate well and was looked after.”
“So you got to spend quality time with mom whilst I was slowly losing whatever little bit of life, I’d made for myself?”
Yes, you’re pleased she’s healthy and he’s made sure she’s safe. And you’re pleased your brother isn’t the monster you thought he was. But there’s a part of you that’s jealous. That resents the fact that he’s known all this, known she was alive whilst you suffered more and more.
“_____. I promise I felt horrible about it. And we spent hours talking about you, I showed her pictures, everything!”
“Did you know how bad things got for me?”
You turn to your mom.
“No. I thought I did until tonight. But no. If I had, I’d have tried to do something.”
“You knew.” You look at your brother.
“I only knew it was that bad when you said you didn’t want to be here anymore. I told dad, I panicked and told him when I should’ve kept it to myself and found a doctor. But he said he’d found one, I didn’t know it was a set up. I thought somehow, his fatherly instincts kicked in and he wanted to help you. But he just wanted power over you, hoping whatever you told that man, would help him have control over you.”
“But before that. You knew how you were treating Woozi. That I’d lost my job and was working with for Minghao.”
“I didn’t know it was Minghao. Neither did dad. He’d have used it, if he did. And I only treated Woozi that way because dad told me to. You have to see _____, he was blackmailing both of us. If mom did something. We die. If I do something. You and mom die. What was I meant to do?!”
“When Wonwoo and Chan turned up tonight, it was my chance to get mom out and for you to finally know what’s been happening. They called Jeonghan, found out what he knew, triangulated where they thought dad was with the drugs and after that, it was in Jeonghan’s hands.”
“And like I say. He’s in custody with everything your mom and brother said, my information and Minghao’s intel on the drugs coming in and out. It’s over. And we’re all in the clear other than witness statements from you, and your mom and brother, about how he’s treated you and what he’s done.”
You’re not even sure what to think or what to say.
“So this has all happened because of Minghao giving me a job? Which he only gave me because he wanted to control my dad?”
You all turn to Minghao, him looking wide eyed, like a child caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“I just did what I thought would end your dad. He was being erratic, wanting more power. I told you I never wanted this life, it’s only when you told me you didn’t know anything, that I thought something was wrong. This was all a simple mafia war before I gave you a job!”
You scoff, glaring at him. A simple mafia war? Like it’s the most mundane, everyday thing in the world.
“Well. Thank heavens you did,” your mom smiles, “you’ve inadvertently brought together a group of people that’s taken down a monster.”
Minghao seems relieved that your mom isn’t screaming at him for what’s happened. Although you get the impression that your mom may not be fully aware of everything that’s happened tonight.
Your brother though, definitely is.
“Yeah, that’s great and everything mom, but I’d quite like to know why my sister is in the condition she is.” He demands, the air in the room turning chilly.
“It’s my fault......”
“It was those idiots you shot.” You interrupt before Minghao can finish his sentence.
“He ordered it. He let it happen.”
“And you let your fare share of stuff happen. Just leave it Joonho.”
“______, you’re covered in cuts and bruises and god knows what is broken, I’m not letting this slide.”
“I don’t expect you to!” Minghao interjects angrily. No doubt thinking that he deserves whatever is coming.
“Can we just drop it, please. Whatever has happened has got us here. Just stop it all. Now.”
“______, you can’t expect us to ignore what’s happened to you.” Your mom pleads with you now she realises Minghao isn’t as innocent as she thought.
“Well people have ignored me my whole life. I’d like to ignore this. Please. Just move on.”
They all look sceptical, even Chan, but they all nod, content to draw a line and breathe a sigh of relief that everything is now over. After decades, in your mom’s case, it’s finally over.
You try to sleep, but you can’t. Your brain won’t switch off properly and every time you close your eyes, it’s like a vicious circle of Mingyu, Soonyul and your brother laughing at you.
Minghao had said you could all stay at his place. One of the perks of having a mansion, you suppose, is being able to house lots of people on a whim. Chan and Wonwoo went home, as did Jeonghan and so it just left you, your mom and brother at Minghao’s place. And you felt fucking awkward about it. But neither you or your brother could face going home and you knew your mom could never likely face going back in that house. Minghao offered and so you had to accept, you’re not in the right frame of mind to sort anything out at the moment. Not without sleep.
Things had been awkward with your mom and brother but by the time you were ready to call it a night, things had gotten a little easier. Laughing over some child hood stories and catching your mom up on work you’d done as a lawyer. Things would get there with them. Eventually.
Deciding to give up trying to sleep. You decide fresh air is the answer and luckily Minghao has a pretty sizeable garden so you won’t even have to try and relax near the graves that have so recently been filled, since they’re a good half a mile away from the main garden.
Any little noise in the house spooks you as you make your way to the back, folding doors. Your brain and body not quite realising that any danger it faced, is either dead or behind bars.
You stop in your tracks though when open the door and find Minghao sitting on his garden sofa, a look of horror on his face when he realises, you’re not in bed.
“S-sorry... I just wanted some air. I’ll leave you to it,” you turn to head back into the house, presuming he wants to be alone.
“_____, it’s fine. If you’re prepared to sit with me, I’d like the company.”
You should find him repulsive. You should hate the sight of him. But you don’t. You felt weirdly on edge when he left you and your family to get to know each other again, earlier tonight. Him deciding to head to his room to give you all some privacy, instead of sticking around.
But your feet move of their own accord. You walk slowly over to where he sits and lower yourself down onto the sofa, the pain killers you’ve taken now kicking in, though the pain still throbs a little.
“Are you ok?” he fusses over you as you sit next to him.
“Do you care?” you didn’t even mean to say that, you’re still in defensive mode and you still question if what he’s told you about that night, is true, “sorry” you sigh, “I’m fine. All things considered.”
“I am sorry, you know?”
“How could you let all this happen? Your mom and dad seemed like two of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, how the fuck do you end up doing all this shit Minghao?”
He pauses for a second, weighing up how much he should tell you or whether you even want to hear his sob story.
“I wanted a job at Yoon and Associates but I wanted to do it on my own. Sure, my mom and dad could’ve just used their connections to pull some strings, but I wanted to earn it. Mr Yoon was my professor, he asked me to “drop some documents off” one day, they weren’t fucking documents, they were drugs. But then he had me where he wanted me. He’d filmed me handing over the drugs and said he’d use it against me to have me disbarred and deported.”
“You could’ve gone to the police? Or your parents?”
He looks at you sceptically, eyes scanning your features before he looks back out onto the sprawling lawn and garden.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, the police aren’t always who you think they are,”
“True,” you mumble, pulling his sweater over your hands since you’re still wearing the clothes he lent you.
“And I couldn’t tell my mom and dad. They’d be so fucking disappointed in me. So I told them I was working at Yoon, I knew Jeonghan would cover for me if by chance, my dad and him ever crossed paths. He owed me for stopping them trying to kill him. And I ended up in it so far over my head that I just couldn’t escape it.”
“But how are they all so scared of you? I’m not being rude but Mingyu and Seungcheol are twice the size of you and yet one word from you, and they shut up.”
“Lies. Or maybe not lies, more smoke and mirrors. If you’re the boss of something like this, it automatically lets people know you’re not to be messed with. And I never let people meet me, no clients or enemies ever saw me, so you build up this reputation and they build up a vision of you in their head and somehow, they begin to fear you.”
You stare at the side of his face, him still looking straight ahead, and you can’t help but believe him. He’s no reason to lie at this point, his empire and your dad’s have both crumbled, all he has is the wealth he’s accumulated and the lies he’s spun to his parents. The rest of it, is like it never happened.
“What will you do now?”
“Go home. My dad always said he wanted me to end up back home at his company, one day.”
You should be relieved. You should want him nowhere near you but the prospect of him leaving makes your heart ache a little bit more than you’d ever admit to him. You’re not even sure you know the real him, before last night, he’d barely spoken to you. But he’s helped you in a weird, twisted way and even now you feel a bizarre sense of safety with him.
“What will you do?” he asks.
“Try and find a job. I doubt my dad made any previsions for us,” you chuckle sadly.
“He didn’t. But Wonwoo did. He hacked into his banking system, I’ve no idea where your dad kept his dirty money, but the account where his salary and stuff was kept, is empty. It’s all in an account in your name. And it’s a lot.”
“What?!”
“I figured you wouldn’t want anything to do with the dirty money and I knew you wouldn’t take a hand out. I mean fuck, you were working in my club instead of asking your dad and brother for help. But I thought if it was clean money, you’d accept it.”
When does he find time to do all this shit? And Wonwoo never ceases to amaze you, the man seems to be able to hack into anything and anywhere, all from his phone. It’s just a shame he had to rely on Chan to remember both his laptops otherwise Mingyu would never have figured out how to get out of the club and there’d be four less dead bodies in the ground.
One thing does confuse you though.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“When you picked me up for the dinner with your parents. You told me to not mention anything about the club but made a point of saying not to mention Wonwoo. Why? He seems alright enough to me. You surrounded yourself with far worse people than Wonwoo.”
For the first time since you’ve known him, you hear a genuine laugh from him and fuck if it doesn’t make your heart swell. You try not to look at his lips or the way his tongue pokes out to moisten them every now and again, a habit you notice he seems to do a lot. But when he’s smiling along with that habit, it makes it a whole lot harder not to look at his lips.
“What’s so funny?”
“My mom hates Wonwoo. In my first year of university, he’d broken his laptop or some shit and used mine to play Roblox. He didn’t realise it was linked to my credit card, well…my mom’s credit card and when she got the statement that month, he’d more or less maxed it out. They’re fucking rich so you can imagine just how much he’d spent to almost max out her card. Since then, he’s been public enemy number one in my mom’s eyes.”
You can’t help but smile along with him as you hear him laughing at the memory of his mom and Wonwoo, wondering if this is how the old Minghao would have been, before old Mr Yoon and his mafia empire.
“You know you’re all really fucked up. Just how much of this mafia organisation is centred around games?” you laugh, “You’ve got one bankrupting people on Roblox and another playing Candy Crush for random doctors!”
“They’re my best friends,” he smiles fondly, “they’re the only thing that meant I didn’t lose myself completely.”
“You’re lucky,” you didn’t get that with your friends. Perhaps they weren’t really your friends, if they leave you when things get tough but how can they even help when other’s around you were spinning you in their webs.
“I never knew things were so bad for you _____. I swear I wouldn’t have….”
“Wouldn’t have what?” you challenge, “ruined what little of my life I had left?”
His face shows nothing but sadness and regret as he stares into your eyes again, like he’s willing you to see just how sorry he is through them.
“I am sorry. I know it means nothing and it doesn’t change anything, but I’ll never forgive myself until the day I die”
He seems genuine, everything that’s happened backs up everything he’s told you, but it doesn’t change the fact he hurt you. That is let others do even worse. Yet still. There’s that pull to him that you can’t ignore, though you know you should. He’s leaving anyway, you’ll never see him again once you leave this house and you know that’s how it should be, but you can’t help wanting him to stay.
“I meant what I said you know,” your eyes shoot to his, “that night, it meant something to me. You started to mean something to me. I know nothing will ever happen, but I feel like I should apologise for the way I behaved. It fucking broke me to leave you the morning after we’d slept together, and last night after dinner, I shouldn’t have said it was a quick fuck. It was never that. And, I suppose, I should apologise for last night too. I took advantage, I never intended for something to happen, but I don’t know….I needed to be near you, to try to make you feel good just for a little while.”
You wipe a tear from your scratch tarnished face, not realising how much you needed to hear all that again.
“I felt like an idiot for letting anything happen last night. It’d just been so long since anyone even paid attention to me, let alone looked like they wanted me. Even if the person wanting me was based on a lie,”
“It wasn’t a lie, I meant what I said,” he rushes to correct you, eyes looking into your pleadingly.
You look at the man beside you, his eyes shimmer with unshed tears and he looks almost desperate for you to believe him. But his tongue darts out again in that habit you noticed earlier, and you can’t help that your eyes follow the movement. It’s only when your eyes flit back to his that realise he’s been gazing at your lips too.
This is all wrong but yet you can’t help wanting to feel his lips on yours. Both of your eyes alternate between looking each other in the eye and selfishly glancing at each other’s lips.
You lean forward a little, your breaths intertwining in the chilly night air, the only sounds you can hear are a rogue owl somewhere in the distance and your heart hammering in your ears. You want this, you want him and so you let your lips brush his, not wanting to do something he doesn’t want you to. But he doesn’t pull away, his eyes close as his forehead leans against yours before he moves forward a little and connects his lips properly with yours.
Just the simple feel of his pillowy lips on yours sends warmth running through you. They’re as soft as you remember and he tastes a little like mint toothpaste rather than the whiskey on his breath from last night but it’s the way he kisses you that surprises you. It’s not fervent or wanton but its possessive in its softness, like the pressure he’s using is showing you that he means this, that this kiss isn’t fake or for some deal, but because he wants you, because he needs you. When his tongue prods at your lips you waste no time in letting him in, his hands gripping your hips softly and pulling you onto his lap.
But that’s when the night before finally catches up with you.
“Shit!” You wince, clutching your side as you sit on his lap.
“I forgot! Fuck I’m sorry _____. We……we shouldn’t be doing this anyway, I’m sorry.”
He moves for you to get off him, but you don’t move, the pain is subsiding anyway and he’s no business telling you that you shouldn’t be doing anything. Not after he’s kissed you like he has done just now.
“Don’t do that.” You frown at him, sick of every other fucking person in the world making decisions for you. “If you want to stop then fine, but if you’re stopping this because you think I should want to stop, you’ve got no right.”
“I know I’ve got no right! _____, do you not see? I have no business even being near you, let alone anything more!”
“But I want this!”
“You’re confused, you’ve found out so much in the space of a day and I can’t take advantage of that.”
You can see where he’s coming from. But it’s not taking advantage when you want this.
“Please, just let me have this,” you whisper, tears streaming down your face, “I won’t beg. But I just need to know something is real, that at least something out of my whole life isn’t a lie. I need to feel something, anything that isn’t pain and betrayal. I just need…..I need you, Minghao. Just for a little while at least. Then we can both move on and you’ll meet someone and might find it in me to leave the house,” you joke sadly, noting his hands are back on your hips, gently rubbing them in soothing circles as you speak. “I just need you.”
“I’m so fucking sorry _____,” his lips connect with yours as tears course down both your cheeks, your need to feel each other far outweighing any other emotion you both might be feeling, “so sorry baby.” He mumbles against your lips before his tongue finds yours again, swirling and whirling slowly around your mouth, like he’s savouring the taste, knowing he’ll never feel it again after tonight.
His hands move to take your sweater off, but you stop him.
“Don’t, I don’t want your last image of me to be bruises,”
“Ok,” he whispers, hands moving under your sweater anyway, fingers gliding so lightly that you barely feel them as they brush up your stomach and find your breasts.
His strong hands are gentle when they cup your breasts, thumbs running backwards and forwards on your nipples, occasionally pinching them lightly causing you to grind softly on his now hard dick. The pain is tolerable at least as you slowly move your hips on his, his hands still slowly groping you and your tongues refusing to leave each other’s, even for air.
“Are you sure you can do this? It doesn’t hurt?” he mutters, before reconnecting your lips, perfectly happy to wait for an answer if it means he gets to feel your perfect lips on his.
“Not too much,” you pull back a little to look at him though you don’t get the chance. His lips softly wander down your neck, you’re certain he’s trying to heal your bruises with his perfect pout such is the care he’s putting into it.
“Can you stand up for me again baby?”
You nod and stand up slowly, Minghao watching you closely for signs of any great pain, but he doesn’t find any. He helps you remove your sweats and ushers you to sit back on his lap, his loving eyes wandering between your eyes and your dripping pussy.
“You’re so perfect,” he says, almost in awe as he helps you settle back where you belong, “you’re certain about this?”
“I am,” you smile, palming his hard dick through his sweats before pulling the waist band down a little to free him.
“Fuck,” his head hits the back of the sofa, his luscious lips between his teeth and eyes closed in ecstasy from how your hand feels pumping him.
You lift your hips, trying to ignore the ache from your ribs, and run his tip through your sticky folds, moaning a little when his leaking tip glides along your clit, the pleasure shooting straight through you and making your knees shake. You glance at him but his eyes are set on where your drooling cunt hovers over his throbbing length and so you don’t see a point in waiting and longer.
As soon as his tip kisses your hole, you remember just how big he is. That night he’d spent with you, you’d never felt so full, no man had ever hit so deep as he did and now, you’re caught between agony and ecstasy as his bulbous tip bullies it’s way into you dripping core. The stretch is incredible and it’s only now you remember that your mom and brother are sleeping somewhere in the huge mansion behind you, so instead of moaning at the feeling of your cunt stretching around his tip, you bite your lips, eyes rolling back a little when you sink further down onto him.
“You’re taking me so well baby, fuck how do you feel so fucking incredible?”
“You’re so b-big,” you huff, once you finally impale yourself fully onto him.
“I don’t remember you complaining last time,” he chuckles, voice strained from how tight you’re gripping him.
“Not complaining,” you moan with a smile and resting your forehead on his, “just making an observation.”
“Can you move?”
“Sorry,” you sit up to start moving your hips.
“No,” he stills you, “I mean can you move? Or should I,” he thrusts up a little making you moan and rest your head on his shoulder, “do that?” he chuckles at your reaction. “I think we’ll go with that baby, you relax, let me take care of you.”
You just nod with your head still on his shoulder, the feeling of him filling you up and the way he’s being so gentle with you making you feel safer than you have in years.
His hips are slow, thrusting up into your tight cunt just gentle enough to not hurt your already aching body, but enough to make you clench around him every time it feels like he’s hitting your cervix.
Because you’re not bouncing on him or he’s not fucking himself into you harshly, his perfect dick never has the opportunity to leave your clenching hole. The feeling of him nudging that spot deep inside you repeatedly never gives you chance to even miss him and he holds your hips down just slightly so that he hits you even deeper where you need him.
Your moans are airy, hands clutching his shoulders as you lift your head to take his lips into your possession again. He doesn’t hesitate in letting you, his hands clutch your hips, his own rutting up into you as his tongue searches your mouth at a pace that tells you he’s got all the time in the world to give you.
“You’re so beautiful baby, I never,” he grunts when you clamp down on him, the sound of his fucked-out voice making your head dizzy, “I never should’ve ignored you. How could I ignore someone so perfect? Does it feel good beautiful? Am I making you feel good?”
His pace is speeding up as he gets more desperate to fill you up. It’s more erratic every time you feel his thick dick gliding against your warm, wet walls but fuck does it still feel good. You’re surprised he can even still move from how much you’re gripping onto him, your pussy wanting to mould itself to shape of him, so you never forget him after tonight.
“Mm-hm, feels so good,” you mumble, still trying to stay quiet, “so close.”
He already knows, he can feel how much of your sweet essence is staining his sweats beneath you and how much your dripping hole clenches around him every time he hits your sweet spot.
One of his hands leaves your hip to wander back up under your sweater, his hand groping your left breast with such care, like he’s savouring how it feels in his hand, how your pebbled bud between this thumb and finger make you leak even more all over his dick.
The slight sting of it and the way he feels rutting up into you is the thing that tips you over the edge. Minghao manages to take your lips onto his as your highs hit you at the same time, your mouths swallowing each other’s moans and groans as you cum all over his cock and he fills you up with his sweet, sticky release.
You hold onto him as you shake, your arms wrapped around his neck and mouth sucking on his tongue as heat sizzles through your body. The way he’s clinging to you as he thrusts the last of his cum into you only makes you wish you had more time with him.
But you know this all ends tonight. It has to.
His hips slow and his lips leave yours, but his hands never leave you, rubbing your hips and caressing your thighs, gazing at you like you hold his whole world.
But sadly for you, it’s the world that’s catching up with you. Your dreamy smile lets Minghao know that the past two days have finally caught up with you and now he’s made you feel good, your eye lids beg to close and your body slumps against his, your cheek smushed onto his shoulder as dreamland begs you to visit.
“Are you tired baby?” he asks, his fingers running up your ass cheeks and along your spine.
“Yeah,”
“Can I ask you something before you go to sleep?”
“Hm-mm,”
“Do you hate me?”
You don’t even think before you answer, your exhaustion making you blunter than you would normally be.
“Yes.”
Minghao’s heart breaks but he can’t expect anything else after everything he’s done.
“But....”
“Yeah?”
“I like you too.”
He doesn’t ask anything else, just smiles sadly as he holds you close, as you drift off to sleep, watching the stars and hoping one day, he might find his way back into your life. He knows it’s selfish, but he can’t help but want you, there’s something about you, like you were always destined to find each other. Or rather, he was always destined to find you. He did tell you that you couldn’t run from him that night at your place. He just hopes that turns out to be true. The one day, he finds you again.
Ten minutes must pass by before he eventually decides that you should be in bed, wrapped up warm and not sat half naked on his lap in the garden. He tucks himself back in, not even finding it in himself to grimace at his cum covered dick or the way he leaks out of you onto his sweats. It’s just a reminder of how much you needed him, if only for a short amount of time.
He’s aware carrying your through the house with nothing on your ass isn’t the best of ideas but the house is silent and he can always hide if he hears your mom or brother waking up.
Minghao makes it to your room, placing you gently on the bed whilst he rushes to the ensuite to get a warm wash cloth to clean you up a bit. You grumble a little in your sleep when he moves you around but don’t wake up. Once you’re clean, he gets you another pair of his sweats, gets you into them and pulls the duvet over you, making sure you’re tucked in just how his mom used to do for him.
He doesn’t leave you. Not like last time. But he doesn’t hold you either. He doesn’t have that privilege, no matter how much you’ve both just shown your need for each other. So instead, he pulls the arm chair from the corner of the room over, takes your hand in his and sleeps in the chair beside you. Making sure that when you wake up, you know he hasn’t just left you again.
Six months later.
This elevator might be the one thing you’ll never get used to about being back at Yoon and Associates. Who’s stupid idea was it to make the whole thing glass? And then have the offices on the top floor of a high rise building? The whole thing makes you want to vomit like you’re on a roller coaster every time you arrive for work. But it’s a small price to pay to have your old job back. Jeonghan gave you a couple of weeks to recuperate before he knocked on your door one day and asked if you wanted your old job back.
You were thrilled, if not a little on edge from how he’d found you. You hadn’t moved back to your old family home. You just couldn’t after everything. It was currently on the market to be sold, with the proceeds being split between you, your mom and brother. Things were going well with them, though you can only really take them in small doses. The hurt and betrayal you feel, no matter how much it was done to protect you, still stinging even now. They moved into an apartment two floors down from the one you’d rented for yourself. It worked well, it meant you felt safe and didn’t feel like you needed to rely on anyone, or trust anyone, more than you needed to. But it also meant that they were never far away, both of them realising it is going to take a long time until you’re a close family like you used to be before she died (or didn’t die). But you eat dinner together three times a week, you and your mom try to grab lunch just you two on the weekends and you and your brother have even started hanging out watching dramas together. It’s taking time, but you’re getting there.
It did confuse you though, how Jeonghan had found your address. That is until he told you who their new in-house investigator was, he introduced you to him on your first day back at the office. Everyone greeted you warmly as you made your way to your old office. He’d told you that there was a new attorney too, at the same level as you, so you’d be sharing an office with him and the new investigator. It didn’t bother you, you liked working as a team and if they worked for Jeongan, they must be competent at their jobs.
How fucking wrong you could be.
As you entered the sleek glass side office, three desks with desktop computers on them and a view out over Seoul anybody would die for, your hold body froze.
Wonwoo and Chan. Dressed in sharp suits, big, broad smiles on their faces and a very sheepish Jeonghan beside you.
“Well, that explains how you found me,” you scoff, folding your arms and glaring at the two men in front of you.
“What can I say,” Wonwoo shrugs, “I’m great at my job.”
“He’s your new in-house investigator?”
Jeonghan looks a little nervous but that’s more due to you looking like you want to strangle him, than anything else.
“You have to admit. He is great at his job.”
“I thought you said the other person was a lawyer. Why is he here?” You point at Chan, his gormless smile still plastered on his face.
“I am a lawyer.”
“Yeah right. You’re an idiot,”
“I hate to say this, especially as he annoys me more than anyone ever has. But he is a lawyer, he begged me for a job as we left Minghao’s house that night, now they were finally clean, they could go back to what they studied for at university. Him being annoying is what makes him so good at his job, he annoys the judges so much that they agree with him just to get him to leave the courtroom.”
You can’t help snorting in laughter along with Wonwoo, at how Chan’s smile disappears slowly when he realises what Jeonghan has just said. Though there’s a pang of sadness at the mention of Minghao.
“I thought you’d make a good team.”
“Why? Because he stalked me and he’s….well, he’s Wonwoo?”
“I DID NOT stalk you! I was just following you!”
You ignore him. Stupid man.
“Just trust me. I think you’ll work well together.”
And it turns out Jeonghan was right. Almost six months later and you actually look forward to getting into work each morning (obviously excluding the death ride in the elevator). Chan and Wonwoo are still idiots, but they brighten your day and you do work well together. You and Chan work on defending the victims of organised crime and Wonwoo makes sure you have all the evidence you need and more besides. You’ve had eight convictions so far, all of them joining your scumbag father in prison whilst you continue to go from strength to strength on the outside. Once everything came out, once you all knew just how horrific your dad’s world was, he got handed five life sentences. Knowing he’d never get out, that he had nothing and no-one who loved him, helped you heal and move on a little faster than you expected.
But one thing still lingered. That feeling somewhere deep down in your heart that yearned for someone you knew it shouldn’t. Minghao.
When you woke up the next morning after that night in his garden, his head was in your lap, and he was snoring softly against you but that soon felt like a dream. That morning you told him you couldn’t impose on him any further and you left with your mom and brother to stay in a hotel until you found somewhere permanent.
There was no grand goodbye. No loving kiss or tears. Just a small knowing smile and the secret of what happened between you both the night before. But it doesn’t mean you don’t miss him. You barely know him, but you feel like you know him better than anyone. And even now, when men occasionally flirt with you or your neighbour asks you if you want to grab coffee with him, all you think about is him.
You hope one day it’ll go, that he’ll just be a memory of a time you should really want to forget. But for now, his touch lingers in your dreams and your mind wanders to him whenever you find your hand between your legs.
Wonwoo and Chan speak to him, but they never tell you about it. They don’t even mention his name. You presume it’s because they know what happened and know it’ll make it harder or bring back bad memories. But some days, you have to bite your tongue as you try not to ask if he’s ok.
The elevator finally bongs telling you that you’re at the top floor and you startle a little when you find Jeonghan waiting for you.
“_____, I was wondering if you could help me with a new staff member?”
“Sure,” you agree, always happy to help Jeonghan as you follow him towards your office.
“Great, he’s in your office. We’ve had another desk added, there’s plenty of room after all.”
“That’s a shame, you could’ve always moved Chan,” you joke as you walk through the corridors with your boss, “I was thinking the roof might be a good place for him.”
“I’ll bear that in mind,” he chuckles, looking at you fondly, although there’s a hint of mischief in his eyes that you’re not used to. “He’s a transfer, from a law firm in China.”
“Cool,” you nod, thinking it’ll be interesting to have a fresh face around.
You reach your door to your office, noting Wonwoo and Chan are making more noise than usual. Jeonghan being ever the gentleman, opens the door for you as you carry on the conversation, not really paying attention to what’s going on in your office.
“Which firm?”
“Xu and Associates.”
Just as those words make their way into your senses, you catch sight of the man standing in the middle of the room.
“Hey.” he smiles. Hair now blonde and looking as handsome as ever.
