#minjungfmd

[fmdjace]

◤so what?

❝ people that soaks into heart what kind of person am i? am i a good person? or a bad person? @minjungfmd

​jihoon feels like he is holding onto every single thread of sanity he has left. he feels like a little kid being scolded, for something he isn't entirely aware of. he understands where minjung is coming from. he was a dick last time they spoke, but he was honest, as honest as he could be to salvage some of their friendship. if anything, jihoon thinks he did really good, compared to any previous discourses he's had, he is impressed that minjung had the guts to approach him in a public setting.

let alone to call him out for being as friendly and cheery as ever. maybe if she looked a bit fucking deeper, she would notice that wasn't the case. maybe he should have bared his teeth more, scared her off and make her leave him to wallow in self pity. just like she did about juyeon, maybe even worse than that.. oh, it was definitely worse than that. they've had plenty of friendly interactions through the event, he was being as civil as civil could get. so he doesn't understand why minjung expect him to tear into her in a public setting with cameras and people lingering at every corner?

he is chewing on his lips as he listens to her, eyes scanning the perimeter every few seconds because he feels the need to get out. he doesn't care how disrespectful it is, he wants out.

"if you would like to lecture me on being civil in a public setting, pass the feedback onto my manager." jihoon finally spits out, after noticing the silence between them had gotten ever so slightly suffocating. "or maybe, you should take a hint and act the same, stop harassing me in public about doing my job at keeping our images in tact." the words come in the same tone and urgency, a bit through gritted teeth because the male thinks he might explode if minjung pushed anymore. asked anymore.

[fmdduri]

@minjungfmd, august 26th at the bbq party, off camera.

he had done much of social butterfly runs through the bbq party, after making a dish using only a microwave. truth be told, duri just went with the cold dish option, putting his masterchef skills to the test, but nothing would seem to come out right in the microwave. though, he at least wished that he got to use his kitchen for a titan dish, without having the private chef, considering duri didn’t actually need the private chef - he could have just done it on his own. but, atlas, he managed to make it all work out in the end. 

duri decided to take a short time to himself, sitting against a tree, off camera, as he looks around the area. he felt, content, at least, and everything in between, that soft smile upon his lips. he had his notebook sitting in his lap, as he’s writing words down upon the paper - the general vibe of the area giving duri random inspiration to simply just write. so, with the sounds of the bbq party going on, he sat there and wrote. 

though, as time passed, his eyes looked up, and he saw someone else walking by, a familiar face. his smile grows a bit, before he’s greeting the other. “hi minjung!” he said, in his usual happy tone. “taking a bit of a break from the bbq too?” he asked, a small happy giggle leaving his lips afterwards.

[fmdkiana]

first week of rehearsals, off camera

"it’s not like that.” ki had aimed at a strong sound in her sentence, but the words drew out, closer to a whine. when she had brought up to minjung that she was starting a dance unit with gyujeong, her expectations were that of congratulations. with how excited she was about the prospect, she’d have thought her members would be excited for her, but given the group’s relationship, she could understand that they might not have known before now that it was a goal of hers. however, kiana would have accepted many reactions with mild disappointment. neutral, even dismissive, she could make sense of those.

but, this? again? kiana didn’t know how long minjung could keep up this rouse. “don’t you think if i had a joey, i would have been showing by now?” she wasn’t even all that sure if pregnant women should be dancing in the first place. “we’re not like that, honestly. next you’ll be saying we’re in a throuple with daemin.”

@minjungfmd

[fmdjoosung]

a couple days after the ranking announcement, off camera

“i’m a bit worried we’re playing it a little safe.” healing took time, and joosung hadn’t had much of it yet. while she felt better in general, she’d found herself worrying over the decisions that were made for the group, styling, choreography, concept, everything. like then, she didn’t want to play it safe when they were already in the red zone. “before the punishment, it would have been a little different, but now it’s like a reversal of the first round. we did a girl crush concept for a bright song, and now we’re doing a bright concept for a girl crush song.” the members held so many talents and suited concepts between them, so why weren’t they pushing the boat out further? though, to be fair, the decision was never really on the members’ shoulders. whatever bc wanted was how the story would progress.

sung didn’t want to spend all of their time talking about herself. that’s not how this -or any- relationship went. healing together meant both of them as participants. “how are you feeling about equinox’s performance this round?” curiousness made her wonder how much involvement minjung had when it came to making decisions with her group, but as too forward a question, she rephrased into, “was the concept your idea?”

@minjungfmd

[fmdxsuji]

a six month wait between one comeback and the next didn’t seem like a long wait, but suji thinks that a single album is a very low effort comeback for gold star to put out. nevertheless, when she got approached about writing for the upcoming night comeback, she was rather excited to get back on equinox’s discography. she had been busy the last year with her own activities to really focus on her group so this felt like a nice shift to have. though she had a drama to film as well as words of another possible single release, she didn’t have as much in her hand as before and was able to contribute. quite minimally but it was still a contribution.

recording most likely wouldn’t take too long even with her amount of lines as the main vocalist seeing that they only had two songs. like fate, her time had lined up with minjung’s as well, and the two members were made to be on standby together before their respective recording times came up. “it’s weird because this comeback is definitely not being rushed, but it feels rushed,” she comments as she looks down at her lyric sheet. 

@minjungfmd

[fmdjace]

◤not knowing me

❝ what does that bastard have that i don't? why can't i have you, exactly? that bastard doesn't love you until when are you going to cry like a fool? @minjungfmd

jihoon would much rather be anywhere else but here right now. mainly because minjung had been venting about someone he would much rather not even recognize they exist. his hand is placed on his face, practically looking at minjung through his fingers, slouched down in his chair. he feels like he spends so much time in it, he will grow roots into it. he used to be so hard to pin down, people used to get his manager to get a hold of him, but lately, the studio was the first place people would search for him, his favorite dance room was the second.

jihoon has parted his lips a few times, in an attempt to ask something but he isn’t sure whatever comes out of his mouth would be reasonable. so he keeps quiet, lets minjung vent because she seems to  need it... he knows he is horrible to talk to about these things, “if you got ghosted like that, why are you so hung up on it? actually, why are you surprised he’s done?” he eventually cuts her, brows furrowed as he attempts to understand. juyeon and her had been going on with this limbo for what? years? why is minjung so surprised this is what has happened. jihoon isn’t and he isn’t even part of the equation. he got the short end of the stick, and has just been wallowing in misery and self-pity.

[fmdjace]

◤meaningless conversations

❝ get up at one or two seeing caffeine instead of water in my hands thinking of nothing the whole day wasting time, just today adulthood, ooh @minjungfmd

simply put, being in a recording studio all by himself is weird. if anything, jihoon should be in a dance studio, the music blasting so loud it would cause people to come and tell him to lower it, the bass making the mirrors vibrate, the floor move, moving so much he is sweating buckets. that is where catalyst's main dancer should be. not in a quiet and rather dark recording studio, where the only thing he had with him were his phone, energy drink, notebook and pen. it's not him, it's not his element either, everyone around him knows it. the biggest surprise has come from the in house producers and lyricist that helped him here and there, made empty promises about keeping this little endeavor a secret.

you shouldn't trust anyone in this industry, its a given, its cut throat and suffocating.

"sorry,” the english slips, he catches himself “could you repeat yourself?" jihoon asks, sinking further in his chair, eyes glued to minjung who joined him not that long ago. he plays dumb, he wants to play so fucking stupid right now, pretend he has something else to do and leave in a hurry. he could be quite a good actor, he was after all catalyst's variety boy. he was good when he wanted to be, but right now, he wasn't sure. he heard something, latest love songs, in house producers gossiping. it makes the rapper purse his lips, head shaking a bit in disbelief.. he feels his heartbeat in his ears, loud and clear, a feeling he hates and hasn't experienced in years. it's almost anxiety inducing. the possibilities of where this conversation could go.

"do you really believe i write songs? love songs? please.." he scoffs, rolls his eyes. he's defensive, people could see through it if they payed enough attention to him in general. he hopes minjung hasn't paid that much attention to him...

[fmdjace]

◤and i can't fight

❝ i don't think i know the feeling that's in my chest i'm up all night twisting, turning breaking out in sweat inside this room i found my doom @minjungfmd off camera, august 27th

it would be a lie if jihoon said he didn’t actively look for minjung first thing in the morning. he says morning, its way past 11am but jet lag was ruthless. having been in the states within the same few days of moving to these lovely house wasn’t ideal. however, he takes his time with it. messages her with the promises of a coffee and her prize from the bet she won this time. catalyst had somehow skyrocketed to third. unexpected to say the least really. 

it takes him no more than fifteen minutes to get the two coffees ready, feet quickly dragging him to where he told minjung to meet him, sleep still evident on his features, hair a mess compared to usual. he doesn’t care, he is tired and sure that the americano with two extra shots of espresso he made himself wouldn’t do him any good. however, the fresh air he makes sure to inhale a lot from is doing wonders to his mood. one good thing for today.

“sorry i’m late, almost fell asleep standing up.“ jihoon calls out when he is within earshot of minjung, still looking like he can fall asleep if he stopped for more than a second “i made you an iced americano, i feel like its too hot to drink anything else at this point in summer.“ he explains, lopsided smile pulling on his lips as he hands her the drink.