For @riselioness: Sobiwan + coming home (someone stop me? because apparently I can’t stop myself and I’ve got a May 4th challenge to write…)
(Fair warning: this is somewhat less cute than the last couple. Full list of prompts here. Feel free to send me more - although I should probably stop, I’d prefer to stop on a cute note!)
Being with Obi-Wan had always felt like coming home. From her first days of knowing him during the invasion of Naboo, his presence could calm her like nothing else.
Now, they had a real home together too. Technically Obi-Wan still lived in his spartan quarters at the Temple, but in reality whenever he was on Coruscant he spent most nights at their apartment.
The Council, thankfully, turned a blind eye. Sabé was never quite sure of their reasons, but suspected that at least part of it was that in the ongoing turmoil of the Clone Wars they had decided to let the situation be, rather than risk upsetting their best general by trying to address it. Anakin was disgusted at what he clearly saw as the Council’s hypocrisy, but since he still hadn’t admitted to his marriage to Padmé (though Sabé had known of it for some time) Obi-Wan felt unable to confront his former apprentice and have the conversation they so clearly needed.
Officially the apartment was Sabé’s, provided by Padmé’s office as part of her role as her aide, but Sabé took pains to make it feel as much like theirs as possible.
As a Jedi Obi-Wan had few possessions, so he didn’t have much to physically mark his presence there. But his small selection of toiletries were in the ‘fresher, and a few changes of clothes were stored neatly in one of the wardrobes. Sabé had been slightly surprised by the number of cloaks compared with the rest of his clothes, but she soon found out why.
Obi-Wan had come with her, somewhat under sufferance but knowing it was important to her, to one of Coruscant’s galleries. Together they had chosen a couple of pictures and a wall hanging to mark the already fully furnished apartment out as theirs. Sabé cared about these things only slightly more than Obi-Wan, but what mattered to her was they they had chosen them together. She knew Obi-Wan didn’t need things like this for the apartment to feel like home, but given that she was alone in it most of the time, it helped her to know they’d chosen them together.
These were terrifying, bewildering times, as they watched the Republic self-destruct before their eyes.
The knowledge seized her behind the eyeballs as she emerged from sleep. During the day she kept busy, her work occupying almost all of her time and at least enabling her to feel like she was doing something, even if it was futile. At night the darkness crowded round her as she lay in her bed and tried to sleep.
There were bright spots, but they were few and far between. Her brother came to stay, and after not seeing him for years she found to her delight that they soon established a genuine friendship. Yané had her baby, a sturdy little girl that she named Shara, after her grandmother. She added vibrostaff drill to her normal blaster practice, and soon found her old skill in the weapon returning, until she felt like she’d never let it slide at all.
But mostly though, her days were filled with anxiety and dread.
In addition to the war, she worried almost constantly about Padmé. Since the Battle of Geonosis she had been growing gradually more distant, closing herself off from those who had once been her closest friends.
When Sabé finally found out about Padmé's marriage to Anakin, her disquiet grew. She acknowledged that her feelings were influenced somewhat by the fact that Anakin had disliked her ever since the decoy ploy was revealed all those years ago, and being disliked by Anakin was not a pleasant experience. But even putting her personal feelings to one side, there was enough there to cause serious concern.
He was undoubtably a remarkable Jedi and a skilled general, and had earned both the love and loyalty of Obi-Wan, his Padawan Ahsoka, and his clone troops. But Sabé had seen glimpses of a darker side to this hero of the Clone Wars - his distrust of those who disagreed with him, his jealousy of those his wife liked and trusted, and occasional but alarming flashes of temper.
Padmé had closed down all attempts by both Sabé and Dormé to talk to her about it. When Dormé finally cornered her and made her listen to her concerns, it had resulted in a blazing row, which led to Dormé resigning from her service. Now only Ellé and Motée were left as her handmaidens, and their relationship with Padmé was much more one of employees and staff than it had ever been in Sabé’s day - it seemed unlikely they would ever challenge her.
Sabé learnt her lesson from Dormé’s experience, and reluctantly refrained from discussing the subject with Padmé any further. She clung to the hope that if she could just maintain the fragile bond of friendship that remained, Padmé might one day turn to her.
And so she continued every day under a heavy cloud of fear and worry, that weighed down on her and made it difficult to see a way forward.
But when Obi-Wan was with her, somehow the darkness didn’t seem so all-encompassing.
The galaxy might be tearing itself apart, but when they were together there was such a sense of rightness that the tension in her mind and body eased, and she was more able to live in the present and just enjoy being with him. It didn’t make everything alright, or even make any significant change to the situation as a whole, but it reminded her that there was still good in the galaxy, and somehow made her more able to believe that somewhere there might even still be hope.
Because amongst all the fear and uncertainty, she knew one thing for sure.
Whenever she was with him, she was home.
