Okay, didn't live-blog my Mirena insertion, but now I will give you the lowdown.
I was too busy staring at the cute puppy stickers plastered on the ceiling above the table/chair/torture device to play on my phone while it was all happening… But after spending half of the night lying awake scrolling the IUD and Mirena tags on tumblr and psyching myself out, I wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
Okay, yeah it hurt when it went in, and it hurts now, and it actually hurt beforehand from the meds they gave me to soften up my cervix… But all in all, I was prepared for a much worse experience. I’m currently about 2.5 hours post insertion and have my feet up on the dash for the ride home and I’m nomming on a candy cane, because Christmas. So let me walk you through the deal, and although I can’t speak for the next 24 hours or the rest of my possible long term side effects, I can say that if this was the worst part, I would absolutely do this again. x1million.
I am 24, have never had babies, and have been on the pill for 5 years. Having decided that I will likely never want to have babies, but also knowing I may be too young to decide that for good, I wanted a more long lasting but not permanent solution for birth control. And I’m pretty pumped to finally delete that alarm that buzzes “no babies” at me at 9pm every night to remind me to pop a pill. I have tried a few pills over the years but I always settled back into some form of Loestrin FE/Junel FE. It has a relatively low level of estrogen which did make me sick in higher doses with the first pill I tried. And I noticed no side effects aside from never having a period. Which is admittedly weird but very easy to get used to- hello, no buying tampons or ruining undies all the time. As long as you’re always stocked up on a 2 pack of pregnancy tests when you randomly stress for no reason, then there’s absolutely nothing to complain about. After researching other people’s experiences and talking to my doctor, I chose Mirena because it is more likely to cause my period to taper off or stop, as well as lighten cramping and other complications. I am not too worried about the hormonal stuff since I haven’t ever had major hormonal symptoms from my own period or the pill, and since its localized I don’t worry as much about full body issues. Paraguard seems to cause worse pain and bleeding problems, and I’ll take a few pounds of weight gain and a couple zits over that any day.
Alright, now that I’m done babbling, here’s how the past 12 hours has gone:
Around 8pm I had a late dinner and took 400mg of ibuprofen to start preparing myself (for reference, I can usually knock out a headache with 200mg since I’m so small, so I did load up for all this relatively speaking to my own body) then I just relaxed and watched tv and tried not to think about my impending doom. At 11:30 I had some peanut butter and crackers as a snack, took 400mg more of ibuprofen, slapped on a panty liner, and took my 400mg of cytotec by mouth as was directed by my doctor. Then I passed out… HAH. Yeah right. That was the goal, but of course I was worried and curious what these drugs would do to me, so I ended up lying awake trying to figure out if something felt funny or not. I did freak out a little for a few days before once I realized these meds to soften my cervix were the same ones they give people to aid in a medical abortion or to help start labor, but I convinced myself it couldn’t be all that bad and hopefully they would have the desired effect and make insertion easier. So I scrolled tumblr for an hour and started feeling moderately crampy, but no nausea or tummy troubles like I expected. I got up at 12:30 to pee before falling asleep, and then I definitely noticed a shaky, feverish feeling, but my doctor had said that was normal so I just curled back up in bed and eventually fell asleep. The cramps didn’t wake me up, but I was still sore enough when I woke up that I didn’t feel like getting out of bed.
Once I did get up, I got ready and on the way to the doctors office I drank my morning coffee, had a banana and a pancake, and took my required 800mg dose of ibuprofen around 8:15. I got to the doctor at 9:15 and they immediately allowed us to come back into the room. The nurse talked to me a little more again about side effects to be careful with and other more dangerous things to look out for, I signed the form stating they explained the risks, then got undressed from the waist down and sat around on the table kicking my legs under the seat. That’s when I noticed the ceiling puppies. Once the doctor came in, she and I talked again about the process, then she started by inserting her fingers and feeling around for the shape of my uterus. Apparently it is “normal and relatively centered with a slight forward tilt” or something like that… It wasn’t until after she poked and smushed around a little that she inserted a plastic speculum and started working on numbing my cervix. At this point she and others were talking to me because I didn’t want to be too focused on what was going on down there, but I know she cleaned my cervix with betadine, swabbed it with lidocaine, and hit it with a numbing lidocaine spray. That part stung, but it faded in about 10 seconds. Then she warned me about 2 cramps. The first, which I think was her clamping my cervix, I didn’t feel. The second was the sound to measure my uterus, and that one I felt, but it was over so quickly and she did them in such quick succession that it really wasn’t bad. She said she puts some lidocaine right on the tip of the measuring instrument so it helps a little to numb the uterine wall where it touches- hey thanks nice lady! She said I measured a 6.5, right where I should, but I don’t know 6.5 of what? I would assume centimeters and I could probably look it up. But hey I’m in pain, so… Then came 2 more cramps. The first again, wasn’t too bad. That was the actual insertion of the IUD applicator and device. Then I slowly felt a huge cramp radiate from inside my uterus as she said “and those are the little arms spreading out” and I swear I could feel them moving. So yeah, I felt that. And that was honestly the most painful part and I took about 2 good deep breaths and it was over. I was more sore than before, but nothing sharp or difficult to breathe and talk through. She swabbed around my cervix a little more cause it was being a “drama queen” (her words) and bleeding from being poked and prodded. But then she removed the speculum and I was done. We sat around for 10 minutes or so while I slowly inched into a sitting position and she made sure my blood pressure hadn’t tanked. I don’t remember feeling dizzy or nauseous, aside from being hungry again, but I had come prepared with snacks and drinks so I sipped some ginger ale while we waited. She left me alone and I stayed for another 10 or so just to make sure. Applied my super sexy granny pad, stopped to pee on the way out, and that was that. It was barely 10am by the time I was walking back out the door. She said the numbing agents would wear off in about an hour but I felt like a solid 2 on the constant cramping pain scale, so that wasn’t bad at all. I even ran a few errands before heading home, all the while waddling in my granny pad. I had stopped on the way in the morning to get some of the menstrual thermacare heat wraps and I was happy to be able to stick one of those on once we got in the car. As time went by I started feeling more and more, and there have been a few moments of more of a spasm type cramp, but I would say nothing has gone past a level 5. ******* Update 4:00pm —
Got home and laid down for a little while, then around 1 I had a sandwich and soup and took 800mg more of ibuprofen. Between that and my lack of sleep last night and the added stress of constant pain, I got super drowsy and just took a nap off and on from about 1:30-3:30. I was drooling everywhere and it was glorious. Now all I really want to do is take a shower and then lay around some more. Going to plug in my fancy heating pad soon now that the thermacare one has sort of cooled off. But I am moving around and stretching a little in bed and I seem to be okay. I have found it to be a little more comfortable stretched out mostly flat on my side or back instead of curled up, and I think it’s because when curled up the device is poking more places in my uterus from everything squishing in on itself. It seems if I stay like that for too long I start to get the more spasm type pain. But I haven’t taken anything other than ibuprofen and I would say I’m at about a 3 on the pain scale right now. I’m happy I didn’t go to work or anything today, but it definitely hasn’t incapacitated me, just given me a reason to be lazy. I’m actually starving and craving comfort food, so that’s nice compared to some women who talk about bad nausea. I’d rather not take more heavy pain meds if I can help it since I have to work tomorrow, but my doctor did prescribe me lortab so I may take some this evening if things become any less bearable. I also changed out of my granny pad cause I hadn't leaked more than a little spot of blood and betadine, and I have been flying okay with just a liner for now.
So, 7 hours out, and I would still do this over and over if it means no babies and no thinking about other protection from babies for 5 years. I will do my best to update as I go from here on out.
