seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Nepal
seen from Germany
seen from Canada
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Finland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
Wear my usual clothes, and put on some lipstick, for my MHRT; "oh you look beautiful, we can see the effort you've gone to, that's a good sign" UMM thanks but seriously what?
If only "all the effort" could have swayed your decision. Nope, TA still stands. So so so disappointed. Disappointment doesn't even begin to cover it :(
Sometimes when I'm in that "I'll do what the fuck I want" mood I nearly turn off my computer when it's updating because fuck you and your DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.
Why is going to see music by myself this weekend any different than rocking up to a comedy night by myself? It's not. I'm just lonely I suppose.
I’ve been back at home since monday now. It feels so good but trying extra hard to stay out of hospital takes such an emotional toll on me. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to take my meds, I don’t want to take all the fucking vitamins I’ve been put on. I just can’t sleep. I don’t want to leave my bed though. I don’t care about the sleepless nights and dissociation.
FUCK IT THOUGH, Darling James are coming to Brisbane and I’ll be damned if I don’t make the effort and show up at Livespark on Sunday.
And I’ve got plans to check out the newmarket open mic on the 13th. I can look forward to that. I’ve never been there. And I get to see my friend Ace which will be soooo good. I’ve just got to hang in there until then.
This week I’ve had off from the neurofeedback. Back to it on Monday. I’m not looking forward to it. Don’t ask me why, I know it can help and I need to get started on it again, it was a condition of no ect this hospital admission, but I just don’t want to go. I just want to stay at home and make bad decisions like I’m used to at the moment.
Cannot wait for life to sort itself the fuck out again.
/work with neurofeedback training to change life situation
/get medication side effects reversed. thence feel better about myself.
/become independent again.
/spend more time with my friends.
/start study.
/become a real human adult.
I'm living in limbo here trying to do things- because I used to be able to do them by myself- but atm am needing help with everything, dammit. screw you ptsd.
