#misc. things

[canary-cargo-co]

Happy Women's Day to them

[canary-cargo-co]

does swanz have any more thoughts on horses besides that they're easy to beat up

Something like this

[canary-cargo-co]

Make an assumption about any of the characters below and I'll confirm/deny them!

[canary-cargo-co]

Who would they main in smash brothersAND what do they usually get at the gas station. Their gas station order. Words

Swanz mains Falco and Banjo & Kazooie, Tilly doesn't really have a main but does often play as Steve/Alex, plus there's some other older freighter members who have primary characters but nobody else really plays the game nor do they... Nor do they actually know what you'd be talking about with Smash Brothers. But I'm giving them ones anyways

Captain = Olimar

Jim Co-Pilot = Fox or Snake

Sonny = Lucas or Ness

Nurse = Wii Fit Trainer

Riley = Yoshi

Shinsuke = R.O.B and Game & Watch

Caspian = Mario

Winnie = Ice Climbers

This isn't based off anything besides which one I think fits the most just from a glance. I don't play/watch Smash Bros please have some mercy on me

As for gas station orders, the crew would rather not say. But Captain knows what they all like! And he can always answer the question for them instead: He likes getting big packs of whatever, stuff that can qualify as family packs with its sheer size

Canary Cargo does often offer plenty of snacks, refreshments, and other things on the freighters themselves (what with their freighters having chefs), so there's no need to stop for snacks anywhere! You can stay right on the freighter for the duration of your delivery trip, the whole time!

[krinard]

thankgsiving follies

Partner (holding out a ziplog bag when some long, weird looking pinkish thing in it): can you close this? My hands are a bit greasy from brining the turkey.

Me: sure (struggles with the ziplog bag. The bag is greasy from partner's attempt to close it, making it a challenge for me). What's in there?

Partner: the turkey's penis.

Me: what?!

Partner: the turkey's penis.

Me: argh! (holds out the bag) Take it back!

Partner (takes the bag): it's actually the neck. It just looks like a reticulated penis.

Me: oh god, I touched the bag. I probably have salmonella on me.

Partner: possibly. Mostly you just have cooties.

Me (runs to the bathroom): argh!

[krinard]

Freaky Friday the 13th

[krinard]

fifty shades freud

I just misread Fifty Shades Freed as Fifty Shades Freud. Oddly enough, I still think it works.

Freud: tell me about your mother.

Christian: she was a crack whore who let her pimp put out his cigarettes on me.

Freud: … normally I would wonder if you secretly wanted to sleep with your mother. You, though, I suspect not.

Christian: absolutely not! Though … fifteen of my subs kind of resemble her. As does my wife.

Freud: it sounds like you still want your mother’s love.

Christian: why would you think that? She was a crack whore. She means nothing to me.

Freud: but -

Christian: the file the investigator gave me on you didn’t say you were so annoying.

Freud: …

[krinard]

sharknado: order of the beer

So we're currently watching Sharknado. When the time came to make plans, it was like the film suddenly became a shark infested Lord of the Rings.

Dude: I must go to Mt. Doom and make sure my ex wife and kid are okay.

Other dude: I shall go with you.

Cool chick: as will I. You will have the aid of my pool stick.

Last dude: and my bar stool.

Shark: seriously? A bar stool?

*last dude kills shark with bar stool*

Shark: ack! Never underestimate a guy with a bar stool.