Women vs Ocean: why we are alike.
Here is a story of self-appreciation and how we can compare women to the ocean. Beware: a lot of rawness in here.
Coming from the country of the most beautiful women in the world, I grew up dreaming to be a beauty queen. It’s something vastly instilled in our culture to tell our little girls they will be the next Miss Universe if they are pretty. With years I noticed I wasn’t growing tall enough and gave up on it. Last year I was invited to join Miss Scuba International, not the typical beauty pageant but a way to promote a great cause: saving the ocean. If you know me a little, you know I have spent my life trying to find a purpose that serves a bigger cause and how much I care for the protection of the environment. You may also be aware of my lust for new life experiences. Hence, I joined.
Truth be told, I didn’t think I had a chance at it and I didn’t tell my friends I was doing it until they started seeing photos on Social Media once the contest was running. I didn’t want to deal with the pressure. I didn’t go on a diet or a training program. Moreover, most of the contestants had won the national competition in their countries while I was directly appointed to the international edition so I was feeling like I didn’t deserved to be there. I don’t even have my own crown!! Then, I started to meet them and noticed they had sponsors who prepared them and gave them all the clothing/gear we needed. I felt somehow in huge disadvantage. Besides, they were all so beautiful that I couldn’t help but ask myself what on Earth I was possibly thinking when I joined. After all, everyone is expecting Miss Venezuela to be a stunning perfect woman and I didn’t want them to be disappointed. See, I have always considered myself pretty but I never truly believed I was that beautiful (or as beautiful as other girls). It’s hard to explain the reasons behind it. Although I usually draw a lot of attention from the boys, I have never felt like the girl they would leave everything for. Moreover, I think all men are inherently douche bags that only want to get in your pants and throw you away, so having loads of them around means nothing to me in terms of measuring my good looks.
To most people that knows me, I am the most resilient person they know: I could wipe the floor clean with others and leave them begging for mercy if I want to. That is true but only an act of self-defence, which will leave me feeling as a horrible human being. I guess I’ve mask a bit of insecurities behind my strong personality without never realizing it. If you really know me, though, you know how sentimental I could be despite my strength and courage. More often than not, I cry inside like a champion; but I also cry endlessly hiding in my room like an abandoned puppy if I’m hurt (which I hate, because I’m supposed to be strong and cold-hearted).
As divers, we get to truly experience the beauty of the oceans: its pristine waters, diverse fauna and colourful flora. Marine life comes in every shape, size and colour. There are so many different species all unique yet absolutely beautiful in their own way. Just like the girls sharing with me at Miss Scuba International. Getting to know them and seeing how many of them do not feel as stunning as I see they are, made me realize woman are like marine life: it doesn’t matter how tall, short, skinny or voluptuous we are, what makes us beautiful are the unique features we have both in our bodies as in our personalities. Specially our personalities. Trying to fit a woman in a stereotype of “beauty” is ultimately reductionist. In fact, having conceptualised ideas of how anything needs to be has caused more damaged than good to our society. We must teach our daughters, nieces, friends, to love themselves and do their own things without caring to please anyone. We must be like sharks: often misunderstood, they never stop to think about whether other fish or people are scared at them and they continue to be the magnificent, independent, animals they are.
I may have not won any titles at Miss Scuba International and to those who think I lost, I feel sorry for you. The things I gained can’t be bought or put in a suitcase: First, I learned to dive and my graduation was at the best diving place in the world (literally ranked number 1). Second, I spent the most amazing 2 weeks of my life and the memories will remain in my thoughts forever. Third, I have made amazing friends with the most beautiful young women in the world. I’ve never got along with female as well as I do with male. The past 2 weeks felt like girl’s camp and I loved every minute of it. I might want to send my future daughter(s) to girls’ school now. It was liberating to have conversations we wouldn’t normally have in front of the guys. Ultimately, I have learned a lot about myself and the way I take care of my appearance. I think I have finally accepted I am beautiful and worth being admired for it. I feel more comfortable in my skin and more likely to do things such as untangling my hair every morning not because of vanity but because it shows I take care of myself. Don’t worry, I would still refuse to wear makeup on a daily basis ;). Being always my transparent (genuine) self and just aiming to learn from the experience as opposed to compete, made people to actually find me hilarious and lovely, so I’m more confident know that I don’t have to ever act in a certain way to fit in because right people will be attracted to me when I do my own thing.
I’m not sure whether a bit more confidence in myself would have got me a better place in the competition or what I should have done differently. I don’t even think about it for I am genuinely happy for all the winners and the selected queen is the perfect girl for the role. I hope at the very least I make my country proud by showing how fun and optimistic we Venezuelans are. One thing I know for sure is how forever grateful I am for all the steps I took and the wonderful people life put on my way to lead me here Today. From the friends who believe in me when I don’t, to Miss Scuba International organizers Grace, Mr Robert Lo and the wonderful staff at SMART(aka Paradise); the loving David Douglas, my dear scubarettes, my wonderful dive instructor Roonie and even Mr belly button (our eye candy aka papacito), the experience would have not been the same without any of you. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Probably because I am a woman and not a girl (haha, bad joke).
To you who are reading this: It isn’t easy to wear my heart on my sleeve. Not many people do. Yet it is liberating and I think you should try it…. Now, please take care of your women as much as your oceans; they are both endangered.
And if you happened to be a pageant girl, here is something you have probably never heard from your advisers: have fun and try to be yourself!!! No award in the world compares to great memories nor friendship. You can be perfect on every single thing and do it right on every single step but if you are mean to people around you, chances are you won’t get far. And then you would have lost twice. I have heard many stories of beauty pageant horror but I learned it takes 2 people to fight and if you show respect and kindness, people will respond to you accordingly. Don’t be a pageant diva, be a queen of hearts.
Wishing you loads of Peace, Love and Good Music in your life <3 while I wear my invisible crown,
