not gonna lie, haven't posted here since the start of the semester and although it was going really well, this last leg i fucked up really bad.
hit a really bad low last night, after a month of trip ups, and seriously considered just letting myself fail.
i really love learning, god i live to learn - it's why i want to be a teacher. i want to be actively learning and communicating something every single day for the rest of my life.
my screen time is astronomical because i'm usually watching some science or history deep dive, but when i get told to do something, when i have to engage with my interests inside a set of rules, I can't take it.
the worst part is, that i was doing so well. this was the best semester i've done, i was so close to being normal...
today, i'm finishing my final assignment, submitting it seven days late. it's cost me 35% of my grade.
i don't know if i'll pass to semester 2. i hope. i really fucking hope so.
either way i wanted to post this for myself, so wherever i end up in the future i can look back on this post and think "wow, that was rock bottom".