#mixed mood

[hussyknee]

Bipolar peeps: do y'all sometimes feel manic as hell, like ants are crawling inside you, but also…hollow inside. Like everything you feel can only permeate skin deep.

[21st-century-flapper]

Mixed mood is the worst. I want to hide from the world but if I don't leave the apartment and do something stupid like going dow town just to get Starbucks I'm going to gnaw off my own hand like some caged animal with highly maladaptive behaviour

[diaryofatryhard]

February 7, 2018 - Wednesday

I'm so conflicted right now. Okay so we know all about English girl and how she makes me feel. BUT N O W this boy who I hardly know, but like we've become fast friends, admitted he had a crush on me. And like- I liked him but I convinced myself not to and now hes like. So. Fucking. Cute. He makes me laugh all the time and he's really good at art and knows alot of factoids about space and the ocean and I feel like I can be myself around him. Like ugh.

"[My Name] sorry to make you cringe real quick but stop being cute so I can collect myself"

IM SORRY BUT SWOON I HATE THAT WORD BUT ITS THE ONLY ONE I CAN USE

Ugghggg I don't know man. I never talk to English girl in school, but this kid is friends with two of my good friends and I don't wanna make things weird.

[diaryofatryhard]

February 3, 2018 - Saturday

Hello. I just realized it was 10:49 pm, I thought it was still like 10:10. Lately my time has been off the charts. I've got the dates wrong all week. I've also decided not to write about the sad things today.

Last night I spent the night at S's house and we watched Forever My Girl. I hate to admit it but it was pretty good, even if it was cheesy. And then today I went for lunch with K. We've grown really far apart. Its like her whole personality has changed for the worst. S doesn't even want to be friend's with her anymore and I'm kind of feeling the same way. We don't have anything in common with her and she's just really negative all of the time. It's like she doesn't know how to be nice or act like a regular kid anymore. Everyday it's staying up late and partying and drinking and hooking up and acting hood, but she's not and its so dumb. She thinks that we're boring, she hasn't said it but we all know it.

I have made a new friend though. He's pretty cool and funny. Idk yet. It's hard for me to make friends. I'll write more another day :)

[m3nrtrash]

Mood/state of being today: Already I have an awful headache that may or may not become a full blown migraine. I'm slowly slipping into a mixed episode. I feel the depression, it's creeping just underneath the surface. I also feel irritated. I want to see the world burn, my anger is uncontrollable so I'm isolating myself today which makes it worse because I *need* to be social right now. The hypomania dictates I need 3 things and I need them now: drugs, sex & destructive behaviour.

My fwbs are all outta the city, my friends are all busy, my parents are combination ignoring me and guilting me and it's a hot mess.

It's 2 o clock and I've already wasted my day. Current mood really rn is like craving death.