#internet friend

[circusbutch]

I love being an artist, I love being sappy, I love writing poetry in my notes app, I love drinking tea, I love sunsets, I love fresh snow, I love fog, I love my friends, I love the warm glow of my wax melter, I love earnestly forever and ever and ever

I love you too

[starseneyes]

The Holes Love Leaves Behind

Two summers ago, on June 27, 2023 I lost one of my best friends to Cancer. But this post isn't about Cheryl. It's about Ali.

If you've followed me for any length of time, you know I was passionate about the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. And at the tail-end of things in November 2023, a post of mine went viral on Bluesky.

I had no idea how that happened, but traced it to a poet I'd never heard of. I checked out her profile and thought, "She looks neat! Why not? I'll follow".

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Because the heart of this post is love.

I loved Cheryl. We'd known one another since we were 11, and there were parts of our lives only we understood. We were chronic illness warriors, abuse survivors, and badass women held down by society.

When she died, a hole opened in my chest that will never ever be filled. Because no one can know me like she did.

But when I met Ali, I slowly realized another hole I didn't know I had within me was filling—because nobody knows me like Ali.

I think sometimes we see the holes left behind by love and become obsessed with filling them.

When my mother lost her mother, she tried to force six-year-old Rachel into a slot meant for a grown woman. It has informed and tainted our entire relationship.

Often when a lover leaves, there's an instinct to fill that hole immediately with someone else, to mixed success. Because, ultimately, that hole is unfillable.

These holes don't go away—but they can be minimized by filling the rest of our hearts with love.

New lovers that aren't tied to anything except our love for them. New friends who open up entirely new pieces of us we didn't know we had, or nurture parts of us no one has ever understood.

Ali couldn't fill the Cheryl-sized hole in my heart. But she could fill the Ali-sized hole I didn't know existed.

I've never met another human who understood my drive and devotion to loving others for the sake of loving them. No strings. No conditions. No expectations.

She understands my creative drive and expression through writing like no one else—how it's an extension of self, even these blogs!

And she was the lone voice saying "you deserve better" over and over and over these past two years. She literally spoke life into me.

If I'd approached our relationship as, "Oh, here's this person to fill my Cheryl hole!" we'd never have the relationship we have today.

Love lost always leaves holes behind. The temptation may be to fill those holes.

But I challenge you to fill your heart with love for the sake of love, and not in an attempt to fill an unfillable hole.

In time, that hole won't feel as cavernous as you drift through the other parts of your heart filled to the brim with love. Those holes will always be there, yes, but the ache won't be as all-encompassing.

I'm so glad I let love-for-the-sake-of-love in. And you will be, too.

[20kmemesunderthesea]

Contact with @nautilusgays has been made!

Gonna see his opera performance tomorrow and I'm so excited!!!

The TKLUTS Fandom contains the most wholesome people, I swear. 🥹 I'm thankful both to the internet and Jules Verne for creating avenues by which I've found such great friends. ❤️

(Also, kids, meet internet friends for the first time in public places in case they're creepers or catfish. 👍 We went to a museum and Starbucks. I can now attest that @nautilusgays is not a maniac. I hope he can say the same about me.)

[jaynethejackalope]

My horrible internet friend was like "go watch love after lockup" and now I'm addicted and it's so bad, this is why don't be friends with goths. They make you watch crazy tv.

[sicksadstar]

a star for our friends-!! the system be lobing our friends

[jeanpaulpaintsandlovespaintings]

Here’s the finished painting. I’m really excited about it! Thank you so much, @theitssosof , for your inspiration and support and for letting me use your image as a reference!

[just-slightly-chayotic]

love is in the random mentions of your friends. "oh. i started watching a new tv show with my friend, so it was nice. how was your weekend?" and "oh yeah. i remember my friend mentioning this to me. they thought it was genius." and "oh. look at this stuff! i have a friend who would love this. i should send them a picture, could you wait for a second while i take it?" and "wait wait wait. my friend once told me a story about this, it's one of their interests [insert a retelling]" and "oh hey, i should stop by this store a bit later, i still haven't gotten a gift for my friend." and "okay but my friend said that..." and "hey mom! you won't believe this thing my friend told me! it's wild." and-

[findpenpalsover20]

Are you looking for pen pals or internet friends? Submit your ad now!

Hello lovelies!

Most of you probably don’t remember me. I used to run this blog for yeeeears. I have been gone a long time. But this blog is active again, and is accepting new submissions. I went through over a thousand messages that pilled up in the time I was gone. I hope, I was able to get everything done people asked for. Otherwise my dm’s are always open.

But back to the fun part. If you are new: welcome. This is how you find new friends. Go on: https://findpenpalsover20.tumblr.com/submit and write a description of yourself. Your pen pal ad, will be published within 12 hours, depending how many there are in my inbox. After your post get’s published, people who are interested will contact you. Once my blog fills up again with newer post, you can also contact the people who already submitted.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I’m happy to help!

xoxo Cara Giulia

P.S. this blog is only adults, for under Teens go on @findteenpenpals