#mixedpoetry

[awesomealiksiruniverse]

MAGINAW

Tayo ba ay may bolang kristal at dapat pa tayong maghulaan 

kung ano ang iniisip ng isa’t isa at kung bakit ganyan? 

Kailangan pa bang pahirapan ang sariling umalam ng sagot 

at paulit uliting itanong kung bakit nagkaganoon?

Kailangan pa bang pagtalunan ang mga bagay-bagay 

at palalain pang lalo ang sitwasyon?

Kailangan din bang idamay sa pagtatampo at biglang wag pansinin

hanggang sa ang dating maliwanag ay dumilim?

Kung tunay ang pag ibig, hindi na dapat pang pakabig 

kung tapat ang hanagrin, hindi na dapat papahirin ng hangin 

kung malinis ang pag iisip, hindi na dapat pang papigil. 

Kung maginaw  at malamig,  tanging gawin ay ibalik ang init. 

Kung magtatanong ay sikapin na ang layunin ay ayusin. 

Dahil kung pagtatalunan pa rin, mas maiging hayaan na tuluyang mawala ang sinasabi nyong pag ibig.

Samatalang tumatagal na giniginaw ang isa, lalo lamang naghahanap ng kandili’t pagsinta.

Kung matapang  at tapat sa kaniya, hindi na hahayaang ang magbigay nito ay iba. 

Hindi rason ang “pinili nya yon at di nakuntento” dahil ang sagot dyan “ di nya obligasyong makuntento sa maling tao.”

At kung puro akala ang paiiralin nyo, baka sa akala rin mauwi ang lahat ng plano. 

Kaya kung giniginaw,  

Kung ayaw ginawin,

Kung naging maginaw,

Wag ng hintaying mag yelo pa.

Baka kase pag binigyang init ng iba 

matunaw lahat ng bigla..

[shagonza]

“Please tell me I mean something to you the thing is i never let people see the real me and my overwhelming insecurities because I’m terribly scared of being seen as vulnerable and having people hurt me, over and over again. For once I want someone to be afraid to lose me. I’m always terrified of losing the people I hold close, but I doubt anyone would ever fight to keep me in their life. i'm always stuck. I am always stuck between giving people everything because i am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least i'll be left whole. some nights i wish i could go back in life. not to change shit, just to feel a couple things twice. and maybe we are all just looking for someone who cares enough to try. someone who has never had the best memory, but remembers the little things about you. someone who has always been a little shy, but opens up to you. someone who has never been good at keeping a conversation going, but can't shut up around you. someone who hates driving on the highway, but spends hours on it to get to you. we're not hoping to change them, no. we're just hoping to matter enough to them. And you make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously. because if you take things seriously, they matter.

Unknown

[notsonightmareafterall]

just friends.

I laid there beneath an unfamiliar ceiling, listening to the rainfall.. I rolled over, buried half my face in his pillow and smiled slightly. I was in a content total wonder at the display before me. I didn’t know how or where I wound up for a split second.. Was I trying to convince myself that it was all just an unbelievably orchestrated and beautifully choreographed illusion.. but for what an utter disgrace it would be to find something truly magic and try to spend the time pretending it wasn’t real. Because surely, this was real.

I catch myself on feeling the part in my lips come often and blank stares after subconscious compliments. I can’t ever collect my mental state. I smile.. I brush it off… I panic.

I don’t want to feel. I’ve came to learn it’s easier that way… I couldn’t quiet grasp the familiarity because it’s been so long since I’ve trusted myself to feel these feelings but it was then when I was pure, and willing- in that moment that I realized, the best things truly come when you have the patience to endure. It made sense. but do I trust that life made me wait so long to become his find? Do I trust anything fully at all? Do I understand the logic of our circumstances? The waiting only made the finding sweeter but two people, in love, alone.. and determined to stay isolated from the entire world.. that’s a beautiful disaster. Being afraid of happiness is complete nonsense and I’m terrified of my heart; of it’s constant hunger for whatever it is it really wants. The way it stops and starts. How it consumes not only body, but mind. I would let myself slip into a world of nonsense and maybe I already have. You can never assure yourself to only accommodate a friendship when you crave someone so much.

This will be a perfect memory, eventually.

-“Just Friends” on a Thursday night; Briana Ashley Dea