I have been eating/sleeping/breathing game design to prep for Red Salem and I thought it'd be a good exercise to post a
the biggest problem with the story is that there's no stakes, no motive, no conflict, and no character development. this is a saccharine rose-tinted vibes only mocktail trying so hard to romanticize youth it swings around to being totally alien and false
so, treatment numero uno, stacy needs to acknowledge her flaws and change, for better or for worse. (probably better, considering the game's tone). her friends should be annoyed by her mixtape monologuing, have their own opinions about what the song should be, and push back on her obsession with "the soundtrack she planned" while more serious shit it going on
stacy being callous about cassandra's dad isn't wrong, but just a few dialogue options could go a long way in making your relationship feel personal. are you more sympathetic or rebellious to her problem? this could effect cassandra's actions, attitude towards you, her father, and jenny
likewise with slater. in flashbacks, you could have the option to come on to slater, but it goes badly, adding depth to the player character that can be achieved by just a few lines from slater. or, if you go the other way, plays out like you rejected slater... classic teenage misunderstanding and anxiety. the stakes are still low—teen love, you're obviously still friends. but it'd add conflict and tension to the 3 hours of exposition we got...
Mixtape wants me to think being a teenager feels like flying, but being a teenager feels like ass! you have to grow up, you have to leave everything behind, your emotions are turned up to 11, and nobody takes you seriously. Sure there are moments of liberation and excitement, but those highs can't be felt without the lows
which brings me to Bella Deltone. it's established that the extremely pretentious and overly confident Stacy has chosen to "stalk" this woman for a chance at a career instead of going on a road trip her friends have been planning all year. for a minute, it seems like this may be the climax of the whole story. it isn't. it comes to nothing.
instead of trying to make a climax out of Cassandra's totally out of left field, random, uncalled for "standing up to her dad" for setting a house on fire—WHICH WOULDNT WORK—the friends could change a leg of their trip to incorporate stacy's new york pipedream... with or without Jenny Goodspeed, depending how much of an asshole you've made Stacy
Stacy experiencing the relatable emotional low of having your dreams crushed as a teen would naturally lead to a satisfying conclusion where she and her friends ride off into the sunset enjoying her music and not having to make it about how trying to join the industry is more important than your friends 🙄
it'd still need work because it's such a nothingburger, maybe taking advantage of the giant map they built and letting me walk around?? but it's a start