"I know! But.-- Just. Give me a moment," he chuckled as he tried to get the thigh high sock higher up on his leg while he was in the dressing room. Babygirl was waiting outside of the changing room -- the female changing room at that -- as she waited for her brother to finish whatever it was he was doing. L.Joe had dragged his sister with him so he could go clothes shopping but he wanted to try on an outfit that he saw and fled before she could even see. He didn't want his leg hairs to be visible, so he made sure to get the knit kind. Black, too, just so he could. He fixed the black and purple plaid pleated skirt and a black vest top over a purple dress shirt before reaching out and pulling her into the stall with him so she can see.
"Look! It's cute isn't it? Do you think Chae noona would wear something like this?"
"I don't care what you do to me, I'll never tell you!"
something pricks at his nerves, he just doesn't know what it is exactly. he's standing before the female and shifts all his weight to one leg, lifting his limbs to fold over his chest as he arches a brow. he's trying his hardest not to roll his eyes but it's beginning to fail. why does he even want the answer anyways?
it's useless, he concludes to himself. his curiosity got the best of him, but if he won't get an answer, so be it. it's not like it'll be the end of the world. it's definitely not for taehyung, of course. the want for an answer was beginning to diminish and he scoffs.
"you act like i'm going to do something just to get you to spill. nah, i'm a private person too. you don't ask, i won't tell. but even if you do ask me, think you can trust what i say?" it's more of a rhetorical question as he waves his hand dismissively to punctuate the end of the discussion. he doesn't want an answer to that question but he'll disregard the previous one in a snap as well. which he does.
[ ooc + ! ] well hello there love! welcome to hypebeasts. am i too late or— i chose sooner than later. ; v ; i hope your muse enjoys it here with us. if you need anything, i'm here. if you want to talk or plot or anything in that extent, feel free to hit me up.
[IC]Thank you Noona for the warm welcome, it’s an honor! If I ever need help you will be the first one I ask.
He's not sure what it is. What attracts his gaze the moment she would step into the classroom. Maybe it's her smile, maybe it's the softness of her cheekbones—her skin in general. Soft wavy hair flows down past her shoulders and he can't help but think how pretty it looks when the locks would flip over her shoulders. He's staring again and he laughs to himself when she's questioning what's so funny. A flick of his wrist and he waves his hand dismissively, seeming to flicker his gaze back to the classroom.
Thing is, he didn't know when he began feeling like this. Slowly finding himself searching around the school for her, watching the door until she enters the classroom and how he finds himself pretty lucky to have been assigned to sit next to her. He's also very confused, because out of all the females around, individuals around that occupied the classroom, his eyes tend to drift towards her even when she's not looking back, in fact, he likes it when she's not looking back.
High school seemed long, until junior and senior year slowly came into sight. Their friendship never wavered. They are best friends after all and the first thing he reminds himself is not to let feelings get in the way of their friends nor let it be a factor to how they could possibly drift away from each other. Grant it, there were times he felt himself drifting away but in actually it was him walking away or taking a step back. He smiles that rectangular smile of his when Aster speaks about her crush and even points him out in a crowded place.
Aster feels the same way Taehyung feels, but it's towards someone else. Not him. He knows that and accepts that. The same dreamy eyes Aster would have when she speaks about him was the same look Taehyung had in those rare moments he actually allows himself to talk about his crush.
( “Sounds like you've fallen for your best friend, how romantic.”
“Shut up, but yeah—guess that's true.”)
He admits it to himself he did fall for his best friend. And sometimes he thinks he probably shouldn't. Once admitting your feelings to yourself it tends to pull you down deeper than you thought you already were. So he continues being the best friend he could be to her, continues letting her secrets fill his ears. He watches her longing gaze and her dreamy sighs thinking to himself, that guy was damn lucky and maybe, just maybe, jealousy found its way to crawl up his spine and pick at the wires that keeps him composed whenever he was around.
Then comes senior year. Prom week consisted of Taehyung reeling the male in because he finds out that they too, like Aster back. Why they didn't bother doing anything about it was beyond him. Then again, if he had the chance, he wouldn't know what to do with it either. He's successful and he knows it by the way the male's arms curl around her waist, their smiles matching as the cameras flash for their prom night photo. He's feeling like a third wheel, so he'll drop prom night early thinking the male would take care of Aster. She's old enough to take care of herself too, he doesn't need to be watching over her like he's done so in the past.
He'll ditch her and her date, ditch the dance and hang out with his other friends. Get high, drink and forget about the world for a day and let whatever happens, happens. Fuck it, it is what it is.
Before she knows it and Taehyung knows it. They're dressed up in their graduation gowns with their cords. And the graduation ceremony begins. Boys are separated from the girls, but both genders end up walking down together oddly enough and probably fate picking at him, she ends up walking with him. He remembers standing in front of the mirror and he feels even more pathetic. He's going to confess, though it should have been already obvious enough that throughout the years, he still likes her. This crush had been long term, what he didn't expect was how quick the crush would crash and burn.
Ending of the ceremony, Aster's pulling Taehyung away from the crowds and giving him what appears to be a star charm. Her hands are so soft when she takes Taehyung's just to drop the item into his palm. He smiles and decides this is the time for him to confess properly.
( “My name is Aster, it means star...”
...
“Aster, I'm in love with you, I've always been... I'm sorry.”
...
“You know I'm in love with him. Stop.” )
He didn't expect her to return the feelings back. He didn't expect anything from her, yet, why was there a sudden pain he was feeling. He's laughing to himself then and Aster's expression is far too perplexed but he waves his hand dismissively once more, like always, maybe this time it'll be for good. He gets it, yet he still confessed and evidently shot down, the pinch of reality to arm bringing him back from wherever his mind was heading.
And that's the last he would ever admit his feelings for anyone to himself. He tells himself, he also tells himself the next time he does that, he better know it's just going to fuck him up. He's a killer, he kills for money, kills for the syndicate. Kills. Why would he even think about the idea of love, the warmth it could possibly radiate. But most of all.
How damn weak it made him when he was still under its wicked spell.
[` Jaehyun is wearing his doctor smocks; he’s in his hospital, the lights are on; people are working— the only problem is that he’s surrounded by leaving souls; watching them drift from people’s bodies because he had failed, he had failed to do what he was supposed to do best— give salvation. His eyes avert to his gloved hands, thick and leaking uncomfortably with hot, viscous dribbles of crimson; and he doesn’t know who’s or how many, he just knows it’s what it is. He hears someone call his name; a female voice. She’s crying, and without a second thought, he runs. Not another life, not another. Meandering around, he sees the girl crying, hunched over her seat, and Jaehyun reaches out only to rmember that his hands are soaked with blood. ] Miss. [` he whispers, watching the girl cry and cry and cry; her pretty brunette locks unable to be pet with reassurance due to the restriction of his hands. She looks up, such a ravishing young girl who doesn’t deserve tears in her eyes— but he wakes up. He checks his hands— he’s in bed, he’s at home, no one has died by his hands. But he slumps back, hand behind his head as he tries to connect that façade to his memory once more. ] Who was she?
Oh Puffy. There’s so much I want to say, I’ll probably make it into a novel instead of a little letter for you to keep. I think something I’ve always regret was leaving you behind when I was out and about in traveling certain areas around the world because I know it wasn’t fair to do that to you. Especially when you tend to worry more than you should which, you don’t have to worry any longer, alright? I should be worried for you instead, you’re my little puffykins. You’ve always been quite tough, things that happened in your life you endured and overcame it. It’s a beautiful sight to see. I know that you’ve had it tough over the past couple of months when we meet up to spend time together but just remember I’ll be here so you can get through it. Remember that, you’re wonderful the way you are and please don’t ever change who you are. If someone tells you to, let me know so I can press my fist against their cheek for you. Try not to get sad too, it’s a bit heart breaking for me to see it with my own two eyes. Ah, my precious puffy.
Time goes by quickly now, huh? We used to be children who would do things without a second thought and here we are now. We’re growing to be more mature and the thought of you settling down with a nice man is quite overwhelming. Because— you were like a little baby who brings the overprotective side within me. I do it out of love okay? Just wanting to add that in right now. I don’t want to suddenly wake up one morning and hear you’re pregnant yet. Nonetheless, you’re always going to be someone who I’m close to compared to most people I’ve encountered. I love you, oh so much.
