❤️💕
Things have been a little strange here, but they've also been better. Not as in, "eh, things have been better" but as in "things have been better than they have been before." Better than they've been in a long time, actually. Sometimes you have to let go of the things that are killing you, even if it's killing you to let go. It's not killing me anymore. It's saving me. I've spent too long relying on other people and using excuses not to stand on my own two feet. Not to let myself be judged on my talent alone, on myself, on who I am as a person. That's over. I'm not spending my time on the phone telling other people to seek help and assisting them in finding it without seeking it myself. I'm back in therapy for the first time in 4+ years. I don't think this should be considered TMI. It's just helping, the same way you would go to an MD for a cold or a recurring headache. And, boy, have I had one hell of a headache. It's clearing up a little, now. I'm starting to be able to see again. I'm going to go back to yoga. I haven't done that in ten months. I'm going to eat food that fuels my body and gives it the nutrients it needs. I'm going to square off against my BFRB and face it head-on with an army of resources. I'm going to be, generally, better to myself - mind, body, and soul.