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Setting: The House of Yes, Shortly before the wedding starts
Triggers: Alcoholism
Notes: Some of it is rushed and vague because I don’t feel comfortable writing real people so it just gave general ideas of how those things went. Mentions of @ari0estrada and @hackervoicedel
Cut for Length (1193 words) and Triggers
There wasn’t a lot that could surprise Trixie anymore, especially when it came to her family.
And yet, somehow it had happened in a way that she didn’t even dream of expecting. She stared at the letter, she stared at the jewelry box, and she felt the tears that were falling down her face and ruining the makeup that she had worked so hard on earlier. Trixie knew that she was going to have to fix it before the ceremony started, but she still had time. She just needed a little bit more time to take in exactly what had happened.
Trixie hadn’t expected any kind of response when she had sent the invitations to her family, in fact she only had sent them just so that they couldn’t be surprised when that information got out. That way they would have time to plan their responses, remind people that she wasn’t in line for the throne, and keep the radio silence towards her that had been nagging at Trixie ever since she took herself out of the line of succession. And then as soon as it was announced that Catherine had given birth, Trixie was glad for the timing. It meant that everyone would be focused on the new prince that she could fly under the radar. Which was both what she wanted, and yet she had started to realize that it also wasn’t. There was such a difference between running away and being cut off, at least in the way that it felt. And while she didn’t want the press all over her wedding, she didn’t want it televised, she didn’t want to hold all of the expectations that came with the royal wedding, the more that the day came the more that she just wanted to hear something from her family.
And yet instead her mind decided to remind her that this was her decision, that this was what she had wanted and that she had to deal with the consequences of her choice. It was almost amazing that she’d managed to stay sober leading up to the wedding, though Trixie was nervous about the fact that she knew that she’d be missing everyone during the wedding. And the fact that she hadn’t been able to cancel the open bar despite actually trying. She didn’t want to be the one to fall off the wagon after 15 days, and yet the more that her emotions started to swirl, the more that Trixie was afraid that was exactly what was going to happen.
She’d really gotten sober too soon. She should have waited. She should be able to enjoy her night without all of the pain that came from being shut out. All of those thoughts mixed with the fact that she was early with her sobriety and she could easily just start over if she couldn’t handle it tonight. After all, nobody would know - well except for Ari and Trixie hoped that they would be able to forgive one night of not having to think about it all.
It was almost as if the decision started to make itself for her in her head, when all of her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and a tell-tale “Hello Bumble-Bea,” that could only mean one person: Harry. He was the only one who knew the nickname because he knew how much it bothered her, and even then hearing it was enough to make Trixie freeze as she tried to process that her cousin was actually there. At her wedding. And he was smiling.
The visit that followed had gone by practically in a whirlwind of him explaining that he was happy for her. That he and Meghan were both there and excited to support her. That everyone (or almost everyone as Trixie wasn’t naive enough to think that her grandfather had anything to do with what was being said) was happy that she was happy - because they were well aware that she would have disappeared again if that wasn’t the case. And despite being involved in the conversation, happily joking with her cousin as if no time had passed at all, a part of her felt as if she was on the outside looking in, trying so hard to accept that this was actually real life and that it wasn’t a dream. With a promise to catch up during the reception, Harry had left her to finish getting ready, but not without giving her a letter and a gift.
And that was when the crying had started .
Trixie knew her grandmother’s handwriting anywhere, having seen it so much growing up, but as she looked through the letter the tears had started falling harder. That despite the fact that the scandal wasn’t ideal and that they had so many disagreements on how things were handled and their views, she was glad that Trixie knew who she was. That she was glad that Trixie was happy. That she was looking forward to meeting Del when they came for Harry and Meghan’s wedding. That overall, she was proud of her even if it was never going to be easy to show it because of the positions they both were in. Words that Trixie had needed to hear from long before she even thought about running away, finally getting to be said - even if it technically was from an ocean away. Trixie read and reread the letter, crying harder each time at the peace that started to come with it. It wasn’t until her fifth time through the letter that she even thought to opening the box, gasping when she did.
Trixie recognized the sapphires that shone back at her. They were well known, well documented, and easily known as the royal family's. She had read that she had to give them back at the end of the night, but she had not expected that her grandmother would have loaned her something this expensive and well known as a peace offering, wanting her to look her status while also being herself when it came to her wedding. Such a huge gesture wrapped up in one that seemed so simple. And while Trixie knew there was still tension, and that there probably always would be tension because of what she had done, that tonight they could actually put all of it aside. And go back to ignoring each other in the morning.
Sighing as she finally got the tears to stop, Trixie slowly removed the necklace and earrings that she had originally been planning on wearing and replaced them with the loan from her grandmother. Smiling, she looked at her tear streaked face, for the first time in a long time seeming like she could see all parts of herself when she looked in the mirror. And taking a breath, she slowly opened up all of her makeup so that she could fix it before the ceremony started.
The more that she did, the happier that she got, and for the first time a hopeful thought started to bloom in her mind: maybe she wouldn’t need alcohol to get through her wedding after all.
