#mmlo

[mymanylittleobsessions]

Hey guys, i wrote a silly little NaruSasu fanfic :) Leave a comment and kudos if you liked it hehe

[mymanylittleobsessions]

Tumblr is the gayest place I know so I’ll rant here.

Last night I read the “Comp Het: Am I a Lesbian Masterdoc” and jesus fucking christ I relate to almost everything. Oh my god.

The main thing that freaks me out about possibly being a lesbian is I’m still super hung up on my ex who is a trans man. But when I really think about the things I liked / found attractive in him, many of them were womanly features 😭 See, he is a pre-transition trans man, he only started transitioning socially by choosing a different name and using he/him pronouns. And actually, when we first met, he wasn’t even sure at the time if he was non-binary or fully a trans man and on my end, he was the first trans person I met period and it took me a while to stop seeing him as a girl 😣 Eventually I did and fully accept and support him but thinking back to when we kissed and cuddled, what I liked about him was he was so soft, he smelled so nice, he was so fucking pretty, like fuuuuuuck 😩I feel guilty about it now bc I’m almost certain he would be mortified knowing I liked everything about him and his body as it is NOW, which is a woman’s body. But I do see him as a man just not a cis man 🥺 And his body to me is like... i mean biologically yes it’s a woman’s body (right?) but it’s HIS body and he’s not a woman so I don’t think “he has a woman’s body” I think “his body is his body”. But now I wonder if hypothetically we got back together and he fully transitioned with hormones and surgeries, would I still be attracted to him? I want to say yes bc I’ve liked guys before, right? Well, the problem is I can’t tell if those past crushes on boys in my teens were comp het crushes or real crushes. But is anything real as a teenager?! Don’t we all just have silly, fleeting, shallow crushes?! What is even real anymore?!?!?!?????!??? WHO AM I?!?!??!! AM I SHITTY AND TRANSPHOBIC?!!

[mymanylittleobsessions]

Is there anyone on here that experiences BOTH romantic attraction AND platonic attraction? Gets crushes AND squishes? Please I needa talk to yall, I’m having a hard time differentiating them 🤕🤕 I mean I think I know the difference but the lines can get a little blurry you know?

[mymanylittleobsessions]

Lol don't you love it when you try your best to do better but your parents still aren't happy

[mymanylittleobsessions]

You know, I really hope one day someone thinks I'm genuinely beautiful and finds my features interesting and attractive because me personally, I love love LOVE guys with blonde hair or red hair and blue or green eyes. I have brown hair and brown eyes and I mean I guess I'm pretty but those features are boring to me lol. Idk like I used to wish I was a redhead for the longest time when I was younger or that I had blue eyes or least had inherited my dad's green eyes. I just never felt like brown eyes were anything special, especially dark brown eyes. They're just pools of darkness lol. No offense to anyone who also has brown eyes or brown hair, heck I have those features. All I'm saying is what I'm attracted to is not what I look like and so trying to imagine someone that I'm attracted to being equally as attracted to me just the way I look is hard to fathom. I just can't relate bc my features are not my personal preference 😂 But for the record, I've grown to like the way I look and I appreciate it. I feel comfortable with myself and I've accepted it. Like I said, I think I'm pretty but if I'd had a choice, I wouldn't have picked brown hair and brown eyes but seeing as I didn't have a choice and I do look this way, might as well accept it lol. I started to view my features as safe. I feel like they're neutral, like you can't go wrong with brown hair and brown eyes. Idk, just my thoughts 😂