#mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[passerinesoncaffeine]

procrasinating on washing my hair even though i know i'll feel better after i wash my hair

[314159265191919997]

physically i'm at work but mentally i'm microwaving emilio sandoz

[unfetteredautism]

lately t-girl dennis been on my brain here and there

imagine that + sugar daddy robby paying for bottom surgery and being so proud of himself when he gets to make the claim "that pussy is mine" and dennis is like "ur so corny shut uppppppppp" but she's blushing and giggling all bashfully cuz yeah.... yeah. that pussy is his.

[weirdoughnut]

drink cold water

[doomed-era]

me writing/drawing/thinking about gboh paya. every single time I swear to god. this meme is from 2024 btw

me talking about her deal under the cut btw (spoilers for gboh future chapters, I need to yap for a crowd)

so in early chapters of gboh imo she very much serves the purpose of a "dead friend/love interest" where she isn't even named because link doesn't want to think about her. and I don't think I realized just how interesting that was from the perspective of Link refusing to give her a face and a name because that would mean recognizing that he feels hurt over her, but also that he hurt her too.

GBoH Paya has always been characterized as somewhat avoidant, and for a while I struggled for a way to characterize this that didn't make her an asshole-- mostly because I don't want to make her an asshole in that way. I really loathe people who are avoidant and two-faced, and can't bring themselves to talk to their friends or loved ones about things that bother them and instead hold that spite in. anger over dealing with that kind of person is what led to me writing gboh in the first place. with paya, I knew conceptually it was different, but it still bothered me. paya contrasts with the other major sheikah characters in gboh. she's acutely aware of the power imbalance between her, zelda, and link, and this is what causes her to avoid them (among other things.) it's not like she's afraid of conflict, not at all-- she isn't afraid of telling zelda she's wrong or setting up some boundaries, but she is aware that there could be consequences for getting too close. that's kind of different than pretending to be nice to an equal you could easily avoid or tell the truth around.

she doesn't actually resent zelda, or even link. she's just decided that she isn't worthy of anyone's time, and people as powerful as that could hurt her more than a regular person. This is partially why getting her to talk to Zelda has been so difficult lol. She's very much in contrast to Zelda in a few ways, and one of them is that awareness/unawareness of a power dynamic. uuugh I'm going to spoil all of chapter 18 at this point it means so much to me and it's the main reason why I've been so stupid about paya recently but AUGH. like she's not wrong, zelda could absolutely hurt her! but paya avoids everyone like the plague, she thinks everyone could hurt her. she doesn't understand the difference between a healthy distance between a coworker or boss and just never being vulnerable at all because she's been vulnerable and it hurt and graaaah

also makes trying to justify zelda link and paya's continued friendship VERY interesting to play with, because how exactly do you justify a friendship when paya is kind of right they could hurt her badly. will require change on zelda and link's part, which is so so tasty especially since part of zelda's arc is gaining awareness of her power and privileges over others

[lips-parted-soft-sighs]

Dear Madam, 🧡🧡🧡🧡

I have been imagining examples of Butch/femme power exchange for most of the day in the hopes of bolstering my discussion, and flustered myself instead. I seem capable of no more constructive thought, only imagining kissing your ankle as I secure your shoe.

Perhaps sweeping the hair off your neck to secure a zipper, or clasp, perhaps to tie it up for you as your hands are busy, or simply to leave kisses from hairline to fingertip.

See? You have rendered me useless without a single word or gesture, simply by taking up a wealthy corner of my mind in every waking hour. My legs are tired from exertion, how easy it would be to kneel before you and rest my head on your thigh. So easy to settle myself between your knees and ask if I may distract you, plead to please you and lose all sense of time with your petticoats rucked up over my shoulders.

Exhaustion is winning out and I must retire, but I am grateful to have had words for you today. May your sheets be cool and your head rest easy.

Good night madam 🧡

🤭 you must be feeling better, my sweet 🧡 anon. you definitely do have words for me today 😏 (i wonder if a certain red article of clothing might be making an appearance)

these are delicious dynamics to contemplate. acts of service do require a surrender of agency on my part even as they enforce my desires and my will. you want near my pulse points? the parts where my scent and heat is the strongest? you wanna feel me let my guard down under your fingers, your lips?

did you drive yourself to distraction thinking of all my tender places? you managed a pretty good show for my clinic, darling 🧡 anon.

should i put my claws away? if you have your cheek pressed to my thigh, we might play games of competing distraction. i wonder, if i trace designs of my fancy into your neck with my nails, would you plead to please me or would you plead for me to keep scratching at you? perhaps a terrible choice. could you stay focused on the task at hand?

only one way to find out. you think you're exhausted now... 😂

welcome back, my devoted 🧡 anon friend.

[windsofspringsystem]

How do you draw old people?

(How... HOW DO YOU DO IT???)

[haysaprocky]

OHHHHHH ok wait something for the book of revelations just came through 🧿👄🧿

consider the following: people have a hard time changing because they’re overly identified with the version of themselves they present on social media (this is oftentimes nothing more than a projection of ego)

so likeeeeee

if your shtick is to be regularly commentating on the circus and hating on people or whatever, and you’ve built a “brand”/following off of that, naturally you’re not going to want to stop. because the behaviour services your ego so you might not see a problem with how it’s hurting your soul if you don’t become conscious of it

my shtick used to be hypersexualizing myself for anyone who would look at me because that made me feel important and wanted. if i was still living in service of my ego i would return to that way of life every time someone asked (and boyyyyyy do you the people ask often 🙄). instead, i deleted almost all of my social media and chose that platforms that felt like the safest place for me to birth this new, more authentic version of myself. and everything i create comes from my soul and is aligned with my higher purpose. and of course, 99% of my following isn’t tapped in or paying attention or supporting me in any way. but none of that matters ✋🏼

i don’t do this for their egos, i do it for everyone’s highest self. this is your invitation to RISE UP with me 🐦‍🔥