A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 12th of May, 20XX, is this young man's birthday. Though it was fourteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
PSYCHO HELMET
WRONG
MOBU KAGEYAMA
That's better.
Your name is MOBU. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of MILK CARTONS are scattered about your room. You have a LIMITED variety of INTERESTS. You don't have much passion for anything, though you have been LONGINGLY STARING at THE BODY IMPROVEMENT FORUM. You like to sew but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. Letting one of your online friends dress you in TERRIBLE FASHION brings you an odd sense of belonging. You have a fondness for ROMANCE, and are an aspiring BETA READER for your online friend's fanfiction. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
What will you do?
> Pester BEST FRIEND
You pester arbitraryAscendant.
This young troll stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 10th bilunar perigee of the 10th dark season's equinox, is the day of this young troll's larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. Though it was seven solar sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
Seven Alternian solar sweeps, for convenient reference, is equivalent to fourteen Earth years.
Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist.
What will the name of this young troll be?
The young gentleman smacks the cursor away before you can enter ANYTHING UNSEEMLY, like, for instance, PHONEY FRAUDSTER. Which you weren't going to. Swear!
Your name is ARAAKA REIGEN. As was previously mentioned, it is your WRIGGLING DAY, which is barely even worth mentioning. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faults of your existence, of which there are assuredly plenty, and show off your latest record of sweeps without successful culling attempts.
Equally plenty, and somewhat related to that topic, are your INTERESTS. You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, but for some reason you are not. You like to exorcise spirits, but you are NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AWFUL AT IT. Without the sixth sense other RUSTIES seem to posses, you can't even see the souls of the dead to begin with, which is just as well, since you like to believe you specialize in MELTING GHOSTS. With SALT, which should at the very least work on dead slug lusii. Icky stuff.
If you live to mature, you aspire to CON your way up the ranks of society until no one would dare to cull you, surpassing the oldest rustblood ever recorded by AT LEAST ONE DECADE. Along the way you will drink ALL the SOUR PULP SQUASH. All of it. You like to practice with your REALLY COOL POCKET WATCH, but just wind up looking like KIND OF A DOOFUS BY YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM. HYPNOSIS has never really worked out for you, so you just PUNCH your opponent while they aren't paying attention.
For some reason, your arms are ALWAYS EQUIPPED.
You like to chat with some of your other troll pals, most of which drive you BALLS TO THE WALL DELIRIOUS. You have been trying out a new chat client beta called TROLLIAN, and it is TERRIBLE FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE. Your trolltag is arbitraryAscendent and you speak in a manner that is Honestly not as obnoxious as OTHER people's ~
Later, you will play a game with 5 other friends, and go on a big adventure with them. This game, for convenient reference, is a game that DOES NOT YET EXIST.
