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Hey, y'all

I switched my name on here from Simon to Alyssa, after a lot of hesitation. I'm currently identifying as demigirl/bigender with my genders being girl and non-binary.

Just wanted to let y'all know in case you see me tag posts, so you know it's still one of the same three mods.

~Mod Alyssa

#personal #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #fay answers #mod hc #simon says #mod aly

Facts About Me

My first name is Jules.

My middle name is Hartwin.

My last name is Belmares.

I'm currently 21, turning 22 on July 1.

I have a girlfriend who I'm in love with, Josh.

I am bigender/demigirl.

I am asexual biromantic.

I'm from/I live in Tennessee.

I'm v short for my age, 4'11.

My favorite colors are: a certain shade of blue, pink, and black.

My favorite animal is probably a cat.

My current favorite songs are "Last Letter" and "Alter Boys".

My favorite bands include Skillet, Motions, Lacey Sturm, and Anthem Lights.

I'm not entirely sure what my religion is. I'm not exactly a Christian, but I feel I'm too poor to be really into Wicca like I want.

I've literally grown up queer, and I'm not ashamed of that.

I don't know how to swim but I love being in water.

I'm too afraid to really learn how to drive/get my license.

My favorite book/movie is The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, even though she pisses me off.

The love I feel towards my boyfriend is the best, most freeing love I've ever had towards someone. I trust him completely.

I have a lot of scars on my body, mostly from surgeries, and one from self-harm.

I have brown hair, brown eyes, and I tend to hate them because it's too much brown (reminds me of shit).

I have a kinda deep voice and I don't think I'll ever be on testosterone.

I shouldn't have lived when I was born, as I weighed only one pound, six ounces. My mom says it's why I made it, because I was afab. I'm convinced I was afab because it was so I could live my life to realize I'm not entirely a girl.

I think I was professionally diagnosed with depression when I was 12, but my parents didn't take it seriously so I never really got the medication I'd been prescribed/help I needed.

I don't know how to come out to my stepdad and his family and my siblings.

I don't think I have an accent but an old friend of mine told me I do.

I was named after my bio dad's mom, and I hate that so much.

I love my friends and chosen family so much.

I came out to my papaw in 2016 and I'm so glad I did.

A lot of people hate me, some have ditched me for no reason, but I'm fine without them.

I'm happy with my life.

I don't think I'd ever change anything that's happened in my past.

I believe that my life might not be remembered/famous after I die, but because of the people I know, it will have been worth every second.

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #a #alter boys #c #d #f #fay answers #genderfluid #hispanic #j #last letter #may23 #mine #mod hc #p #r #s #simon says #trans names #v

If I make a "coming out" or just a post about myself

Like, what needs to be known (because I'll be deadnamed, misgendered) if anything happens to me since I'm not out,

Would any of y'all mind to reblog it?

I'm way too nervous to write actual individual letters to my family. I feel the need to still do that but on here.

#personal #stop rambling fae #stop rambling kai #fay answers #genderfluid #hispanic #last letter #mine #mod hc #simon says #mod fae answers #trans names #coming out #agender #bigender #demigirl

When I was 12, I had just started growing underarm hair (I started puberty at 9) and either no one told me that was gonna happen, or I just forgot.

Anyways, I was convinced I was turning into a boy. I was so scared and didn't know if I should tell my mom.

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #stop rambling jules #mod jules #mod hc #mod simon #mod aly

Can y'all comment what y'all like most about me? Or anything positive?

I got a new notebook and I'm wanting to try something different for it.

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #alter boys #mod jules #mod aly #mod simon #mod hc #mod

Jake fronted and it turned ugly

I'm in a really bad place mentally and I don't know what else to do. I can probably pull through and be kinda okay tomorrow but right now I need someone to talk to and literally no one I usually talk to is up, and I don't wanna bother them.

I don't wanna kill myself. I'm just v v v terrified of myself and my thoughts right now and I don't know where else to vent/rant.

I'm safe; just afraid to be alone.

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #alter boys #mod jules #mod aly #mod simon #mod hc #actuallyptsd #actuallytraumatized #actually did #actually borderline

For the record

I might be 22,

But I'm not feeling it.

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #alter boys #mod jules #mod aly #mod simon #mod hc

(These are what make me happy)

Sigil-making

Friends

My Leviathan @doctor-lucifer-holmes

My little sibling @phantastickilljoys

Notebooks

Pens

Music

Cats

Turtles

Chosen family

Life, and for the first time genuinely,

Myself

❤️🐾🔮📓✏️🐱📻🐢🏐📀💿🏳️‍🌈🇲🇽

#personal #flyleaf omg #stop rambling fae #mod fae answers #stop rambling kai #alter boys #motions #mod jules #mod aly #mod simon #mod hc #my leviathan #my bro!