#mod gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

Hi! I feel like everyone knows how to get through life but me. I worry about really small things and details, in school i obsess over grades, it's like they define me or smth, i can't stop comparing myself to other people and i lose too much time trying to get everything to be perfect. I convince myself everything's going to go wrong and i spend so much time worrying about it. (1*)

(2*) I feel like i’m never truly happy or satisfied and i feel like i’ll never be and i feel really selfish about that bc my life is objectively very good. I’ve never been to a therapist and i don’t know if i could have a real mental illness or if i just overreact. Thank you<3

Hi anon,

Thank you for the ask, I’m sorry you’re going through such a stressful time right now. Perfectionism is something I definitely struggle with as well. I have found that it ebbs and flows in my life in the ways in which it manifests itself and how it affects me. Concerns about school and grades and feeling like those things define you are super common. I’m not saying this to minimize what you’re going through at all or minimize your struggles, but to try and help you feel less alone, and tell you that if you do end up seeking help, this isn’t something weird or unheard of that just you are going through. 

A rule of thumb I often go by is if you think you might need help/therapy/counselling/whatever for a problem you’re having or something you’re going through, some help would probably be a good thing. Even if it’s just one session or a few sessions and you get everything all sorted out, that’s still (in my opinion) super valuable, and you would probably be solving those problems faster than you would be all on your own. It’s never a bad thing to ask for help. You are always deserving of help, no matter what it is you’re dealing with. If your stress about school and your grades and perfectionism are causing you distress in your life, that’s not good, and someone could probably help you figure out how to cope and move forward in your life.

Your struggle is still valid and your feelings are still real even if your life is “objectively good”. Our feelings aren’t something we can control, they just happen. We can’t beat ourselves up for having feelings, and issues, and struggles. We will always be able to look around us and find someone who is “worse off” than we are, or who has more struggles, and more adversity than we have in our lives, and that’s okay. Even if your life isn’t the worst, or your problems aren’t the biggest, you still deserve help to deal with them if that’s what you want.

I don’t know if you have a mental illness either; that isn’t something any of us on here or anywhere can tell you over the internet. Something I can tell you, though, is that you don’t need to have a “real mental illness” to seek help for your mental health. Mental health is a spectrum ranging from everything is great and you’re coping well with your life to many symptoms impacting all aspects of your life and you’re not able to cope at all. All of us fall somewhere along this spectrum, and some of us fall on a place on this spectrum where the medical establishment has decided that that place warrants and “official” diagnosis of a mental illness. 

Even if you aren’t on that “diagnosable” place on the spectrum, if you are struggling you can still get help for your mental health and improve how you’re feeling. It is often better to get help before you reach that place of complete lack of coping! Seeking help before we ever reach that place where we can’t cope at all and we’re struggling so severely with many aspects of our lives can give us skills that can keep us from ever reaching that place at all.

So, to sum up this pretty long winded answer, I think it would be valuable to seek help from a mental health professional, and that you aren’t just overreacting. If you are unable to get help from a mental health professional, or until the time when you are able to, here are some resources about anxiety that you may find helpful:

a great anxiety masterpost

a studyblr focused on resources and support for mentally ill or neurodiverse students

and anxiety chat room from HealthfulChat

general information on anxiety disorders

our post on anxiety management techniques

I hope this helps!

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

Would you kindly give me a run-down on executive dysfunction? There is no reliable resources in my mother tongue and I question if my "I decide to go shower but don't" and "I decide to sleep but don't" qualify despite me being on my mobile instead of doing what I set my mind on and what I WANT to do. I'm often tired and want to sleep but instead keep chatting with people or browsing tumblr.

Hey anon,

Thanks for your question! Executive dysfunction means that your brain doesn’t do executive functions quite right. Some executive functions include:

planning 

organization

monitoring performance

self-awareness

multi-tasking

problem solving 

learning rules and social behavior

motivation

controlling your emotions

concentrating

taking in information

So that’s a lot of stuff. Sounds like it effects basically everything, right? Well, like a lot of mental health/psychiatric symptoms, executive dysfunction affects everyone differently and presents everyone different challenges.

This website is focused on brain injuries, but it has a lot of good information and a run down on how executive dysfunction can manifest itself in relation to each of the executive functions.

What you describe as “I want to shower but don’t” could definitely be due to executive dysfunction. Executive dysfunction often causes issues with initiating activities (like getting up to go shower) and organizing activities (figuring out what you need to have a shower, and doing it).

More executive dysfunction resources:

one person’s description of how their executive dysfunction has affected their life and common symptoms

how executive dysfunction can affect school

executive dysfunction and ADHD

some tips to deal with executive dysfunction

good post explains a bunch of stuff about executive dysfunction

cool metaphor explaining what executive dysfunction is like

If you think you’re having issues with executive dysfunction, I strongly suggest you talk to a therapist or other mental health professional. They can help you figure out exactly what’s going on and strategies for how to deal with executive dysfunction if that’s what you’re struggling with.

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

(pls tag lars) is there a link between adhd and maladaptive daydreaming? i keep feeling like i have some elements of madd, but not as severely as a lot of ppl do. it's more like that's the way my entire thought process works? it's always scenarios, conversations, characters. it's not something i keep track of; there's no plot to it. there used to be, back when i was in middle & high school. i was obsessed w a particular character and scenario(s) in my head. is this just part of my adhd, maybe?

Hi anon,

To my knowledge, there is a link between ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming. 

Before I get more into it, I think it’s important to say that dissociation (the broader category that maladaptive daydreaming falls under) is a spectrum. Everyone dissociates to some extent, and this is a good thing. All daydreaming is dissociation, getting really into a book or movie and getting totally swept up in the story is dissociation, being super engaged in a task and forgetting about everything else is dissociation, and these are all things that are normal. 

Dissociation on its own isn’t inherently bad, it’s only an issue when it’s maladaptive. Most people daydream sometimes, and it’s only an issue when it interferes with your day to day life, hence maladaptive. 

Dissociation is a stress response that our brains have developed to protect us. It’s a ways that our brains can separate us from stressful situations or emotions. This is a really useful coping mechanism and we use it a lot in childhood. As we get older, we come up with “better” coping mechanisms that let us work through those situations other than our brain basically going “NOPE, BIG NOPE, BYE”. As we get older, dissociation can become maladaptive if it starts to interfere with our everyday lives.

To answer your original question, yes, there is a link or some overlap between ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming disorder. People with ADHD are more likely to daydream and get caught up in their thoughts. This is especially apparent in girls with ADHD, and is a common way inattention can manifest. But also, maladaptive daydreaming disorder isn’t really a diagnosis right now. Maladaptive daydreaming is often considered more of a symptom or manifestation than a disorder in itself. This article talks a little bit about that link, and also links to some studies about it that you might be interested in. Here is a link to a forum where people talk about the link between their ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming.

Like you touched on in your ask, dissociation and maladaptive daydreaming are on a spectrum. This could be a part of your ADHD or it could be something else, I don’t know. Just because what you’re experiencing “isn’t as bad” as what someone else is experiencing, doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem and it doesn’t mean that you don’t need or deserve help. If you feel like your daydreaming is bothering you or gettin in the way of your daily activities, talk to someone about it. Talk to your doctor or therapist or counsellor and they can help you figure it all out. If your daydreaming is bothering you enough to send us this ask, I think it’s bothering you enough to talk to someone in person about it.

Here are some more links about ADHD and maladaptive daydreaming:

maladaptive daydreaming or ADHD?

are you a daydreamer or do you have ADHD?

the comorbidity of daydreaming disorder

undiagnosed ADHD bundled with maladaptive daydreaming

Hope this helps!

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

I was wondering if any of the followers had maladaptive daydreaming and schizoaffective disorder of some Type. Is this common?

Followers share your experiences! Comment in this post if you feel you identify with this.

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

My psychiatrist keeps hinting that the suspect that ive been abused, even tho im pretty sure i weren't. I have the majority of listed symptoms for PTSD, but i just DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING BAD HAPPENING IN MY LIFE! Ive heard that you sometimes forget the traumatic event tho and i am super worried - what if my psychiatrist is right...? Are there any other possibilites, other causes for having symptoms similart to PTSD symptoms? I am just very worried about it.

Hi anon,

It’s definitely super confusing to figure out what’s going on with our brains. If your psychiatrist is hinting at something and you’re not really sure about it or sure about why they’re thinking a certain thing, ask them straight up about it. Try to be as direct as you can and just have a candid conversation about the diagnosis process. That way you will know what your doctor is thinking, they will know what you’re thinking, and you will all be on the same page.

Many symptoms of different psychiatric disorders do overlap so it can be hard to figure out exactly what’s going on without A LOT of training. I don’t know what your symptoms are, and we can’t diagnose you here at MIM online. In terms of your own research, I would suggest looking at the symptoms that cause the most problems for you or are most prominent and go from there. 

Post traumatic stress disorder cn have a few different causes. One of the most common causes of PTSD is when we are in a situation where we fear for our own life, or the life of someone we love, but it doesn’t have to be one huge traumatic event. The word “trauma” can also be a little confusing. A trauma is anything that exceeds our brain’s ability to cope, and those things aren’t always something we would think of as a “trauma”, especially if they occur in early childhood. Trauma that leads to PTSD can also be a collection of events or “little things” that over time kind of build up and overcome your threshold to cope.

It is possible to repress memories or forget trauma. Trauma that happens to us when we are very young is often forgotten. If you think back to when you were five years old or younger, there aren’t a lot of memories there of most things in life so it makes sense that we would forget our trauma along with everything else. Even trauma that happens that early in our lives and as infants can continue to affect us and and have an impact on our lives well into adulthood. Trauma can even happen in infancy hand have effects into adulthood.

I hope this helps and you can continue to work with your doctor to find answers.

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

hey, if u remember me its the anon w the "thoughts that arent mine" thing. i looked into psychosis, and i'd like some clarifications. can psychosis be an isolated disorder? would being afraid of doctors/psychologists and not trusting them to the point of not taking prescribed medication for fear of being 'poisoned' be considered a delusion if i think their goal is to hurt me? paranoia? just an irrational fear? i have more questions that i'll ask later when my head is more clear. thank you <3

Hi anon,

I think this is the ask you are referring to. I’m sorry it took us so long to answer your question, but we wanted to find the original ask so we could give you a good answer. If the post I linked above isn’t the question you’re referring to please let us know and add some more details so that we can find it.

As far as I know (and other mods can correct me if they want) psychosis can occur on its own, but is often associated with another disorder or a symptom of another psychiatric disorder. Usually, psychosis is an indication that something else is going on and it is something you should definitely talk to a doctor about.

Being afraid that your doctors are poisoning you is a very common delusion, but we can’t know if that’s what you’re experiencing over the internet. It could be a delusion, or it could be a fear, but this really is something you should talk to your doctor about. If you have a doctor who has experience treating patients with psychosis, you will not be the first patient with these fear. You will be able to work with your doctor and treatment team to come up with a plan to deal with these fears during treatment. 

Please please please talk to your doctor. Psychosis is very complicated and it isn’t really something you can deal with on your own. I definitely encourage you to talk to your doctor or another mental health professional. I hope this helps.

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

Not an ask just wishing you a good day!🌞

Thanks anon! I hope you have a good day too.

~mod Gwyn

[mentalillnessmouse]

I suffer from BPD and I often unintentionally manipulate my partners, because I never knew any other way of getting what I want/need. How do I change this behaviour and is there someone else who dealt with this/is working on themselves?

Hi anon,

This is a really big, complicated question, but thank you for asking and reaching out. I’m going to be honest with you, this is something that you will need to work through with a therapist. If you don’t have a therapist or mental health care team right now, you should probably get one. The doctor that diagnosed you can probably put you in touch with a therapist. One common treatment technique for BPD is dialectic behavioural therapy. 

dialectic behavioral therapy modules workbook

here is a website with information about BPD and treatment options

personality disorders support group

a blog about healing from BPD with post of information and resources 

BPD resources from the National Alliance on Mental Health

information about BPD and relationships

~temp mod Gwyn