MODERN & HUMAN HEADCANONS ━ FAMILIAL SBI (+ RANBOO) & Y/N
Type - Headcanons
Familial
Foster AU, Human & Modern AU
Note - These involve the DSMP characters only. Also this is written with a gender neutral reader in mind :]
Warnings - Mentions of Smoking (Wilbur)
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GENERAL HCS
• You were fostered by Phil at 13, being the youngest in the family. You were officially adopted a year later, with Tommy being a few months older than you, Wilbur being 16, and Techno being 17.
• Tommy is elated to know that he isn't the youngest anymore.
PHILZA
• Crowfather!!
• Quite literally father of crows, as there's a flock of them that gather on the backyard each day
• Phil explains that he feeds them, and in return they bring back nifty trinkets or dead animals, but that's neither here nor there.
• The best cook there is
• Every meal tastes like it's been sent down from heaven
• He teaches you some of his tricks, and even encourages you to cook on your own
• Admittedly, your first meals aren't great, but with a lot of helpful tips and a bit of constructive criticism, you eventually become a cooking pro!
• Always helps out with homework when you're struggling
• If he can't help, he gets Techno
• He never yells, and rarely raises his voice, but him being angry is still quite scary
• Has that quiet, more-disappointed-than-angry look
• Uses the Stern Voice when you've (or the other siblings) done something really stupid
• If you panic, he feels really bad
• He makes it up to you by taking you get get your comfort food/favorite food the next day
• Bad with technology, mostly smartphones, since he can work a computer pretty well
• "How do you turn it on?"
• "The button right there, Phil."
• "Oh."
WILBUR
• Protective big brother!!!
• Very touchy- totally the type to always have a firm hand on your shoulder or back, and gives lots of hugs when you need them
• Or, if you're not the touchy type, he's just near you- enough to give breathing room, but constantly talking or just doing something.
• He is very much alive and animated, and his ramblings and unrelated digressions include lots of hand movements.
• Dude just talks with his hands- with his whole body.
• If you're musically inclined, you'll spend nights in his room, helping him brainstorm lyrics or chord progressions
• You do duets together, whether it be just instrumental or vocal
• If you're not musically inclined, you'll still hang out in his room. He'll sing to you or just play a couple tunes on his guitar.
• He loves it when you hang out with him, regardless of what you're doing.
• Total theatre kid, and drags you into it.
• Makes you listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack, and belts out every song in his car.
• He knows the lyrics by heart- unfortunately.
• Quotes Shakespeare at you at random.
• You're eating breakfast one morning, all is normal
• Wilbur comes downstairs, pours himself a bowl of cereal, then stands parallel from you across the counter, and says:
• "We know what we are, but know not what we may be."
• ??? Literally what.
• "Wil, it's too early for this. What even was that?"
• He seems offended. "Shakespeare, of course."
• "... You're such a nerd."
• He squawks and grows flustered. (He'll then protest wholeheartedly and say Well, Techno is the nerd of the house, not me! Jokes on him, all of SBI are nerds.)
• If you're stressed out or panicking, he'll sit by you, giving you the space you need, but ready to help out.
• Though he's not the best at comforting others, and might devolve into panic himself.
• Let's be real, dude probably listens to The Smiths on repeat.
• Very occasionally calls you his Champion
• Smokes a lot, but don't tell Phil
• He probably smells really nice though
• Collects perfumes and candles
• Type of guy to have like 3 different candles lit at the same time- makes for a weird but pleasant smell
TECHNO
• Nerd Supreme, in the flesh
• Dude's huge yet wears lil' grandma glasses with the chain.
• Makes you help him dye his hair monthly.
• Somehow ropes you into learning how to knit, despite Tommy teasing that you were both like grandmas
• Techno says that Tommy just can't see real art
• He's surprisingly good at knitting, and even knits you a sweater!
• Dude gives the best hugs, which are a luxury that is not often offered
• Literal human furnace
• Reads you history books or Sun Tzu
• Regales Greek epics and myths to you
• Randomly gives you pop quizzes on Greek mythos just to keep you on your toes
• You're not forced to answer, of course, but like, brownie points for getting the right answer
• Definitely knows his history, and gives you a nickname after a Greek deity
• Plays Minecraft with you, Tommy, and Ranboo. Beats you every time you PVP
• Scarily good at Mario Kart
• Sometimes you steal his coats, just because they're so large and fluffy
• Man loves his coats
• Also loves to garden!
• Plants gardenias with you, to symbolize that he considers you part of the family :]
• When his hallucinations get bad, or the voices get too loud, he'll let you sit with him and soothe him
• You make him some warm tea and help distract him, making sure not to get too loud or touch him
• Once it passes he just leans on you for a while
• Then afterward you eat ice cream, because he is a secret ice cream fiend.
• Long silences while sitting together that aren't awkward or uncomfortable
• Occasionally, he takes you to the library, so you guys can read together and just hang out some place quiet
• Crafts you a paper crown, identical to his own!
• Totally a big dog person
• Absolutely willing to beat the shit out of someone for you, alongside Wilbur
TOMMY
• You two are either entirely similar, making for a loud and chaotic duo, or opposites.
• Whichever it is, Tommy somehow finds a way into roping you into his mischief
• You dare each other to do stupid stuff all the time
• You nearly broke your leg after sliding down the stairs
• Fell flat on your face during a sled race in the winter
• Totally didn't get sick at the state fair after daring each other to eat as many sweets as possible
• Still, you two have a lot of fun
• He swears up and down that he will one day beat you (and everyone else) in Mario Kart
• Comes in last every time
• Has a lot of nicknames for you
• "Y/N! Big Y/N, Lil' Y/N, my buddy, my sibling, my frieeend!"
• Boasts about being older than you 24/7
• Loves making things
• Arts and crafts are his shit, even if the color palette isn't great on the eye
• Gifts you some of his creations just to see your face light up
• He soaks up all the praise he gets, and bounces back with a fuckton of energy in return
• All nighters spent with Tommy, Ranboo, and Tubbo playing video games or binging shows- mostly video games
• Has two moths, named Clementine and Clara, respectively. He likes letting them fly around his room, and sometimes they'll land on you.
• Or if you don't like moths, he gets two ferrets!
• Absolutely chaotic, and says that he will be a raccoon in his next life, a luxurious fate of digging through trash cans and not giving a shit about arbitrary rules
• So much bickering, most of it lighthearted
• You guys have competitions with each other all. The. Time
• "Bet you can't eat all your cereal in a minute!"
• "You're on, asshole!"
• He wins, and you blame it on his tall, scrawny ass
• "I'm a growing boy, Y/N! Can you blame me?"
• "Oh, so no more Big Man?"
• "That's not what I said-"
+ BONUS RANBOO!
• Ranboo is adopted when you're about 16.
• He's super quiet and awkward at first, like Techno when you came to the house for the first time
• You offer to play Minecraft with him one day, and he accepts wholeheartedly, seeming super excited
• You grow closer from there
• He indulges in his love for baking
• You help him bake all sorts of sweets
• You have fun decorating cakes and cookies, though most of them are jokes
• They're tasty, though!
• He infodumps all about his love for horror and ARGs, and eagerly tells you about the history of VHS and cassette tapes
• He has a walkman of his own, and makes you a mixtape on a cassette
• You treasure it, of course
• He wants to make his own little horror series one day
• He also has a fascination with space, particularly stars and constellations
• Stargazing is a constant activity
• He points out all the different constellations
• He has a star chart pinned up on his wall, alongside posters for old horror movies and indie rock bands
• When his birthday rolls around, you surprise him with a record player he's long sought after, a constellation chart tapestry, and a whole slew of stim toys
• He nearly cries, and gives you a big hug, telling you he loves it.
• You help him dye his hair, since his natural hair color is black- the white half is dyed.
• Also, dude lives off of soda. He hates water, so it's soda or coffee or juice, really any drink other than water
• You try to get him to drink some water but it usually hardly works
• Also!! You help him set up a little aquarium in his room
• A tank where he keeps a pet axolotl
