#mod quinns

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Have you got any resources or advice or anything, really, on how to build up a headspace? We don't have one and we're tired of just having nothing. We want somewhere to be when we're not fronting. We want to be able to communicate internally. We're frustrated! Thank you for any help you can give <3

Hi there! Tulpamancy/Paromancy resources are a godsend for building headspaces, as they’re designed for people with zero prior ability to dissociate or visualise. I’d suggest reading up on wonderlands and trying those techniques. Keep trying, a headspace won’t neccesarily stick first time. It might take a long while to appear to stay put.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Hi, so I'm like %99 sure I'm plural but we're not really comfy with being called a system and are wondering if you know any alternative words that mean very similar/the same thing!

Our system name came from a thesaurus. Things like pack, collective, group, any word for a group of people or animals are good places to start.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

is it possible that an entire system except for one alter goes dormant?

Because a couple of days ago all communication just seemed to stop. I couldn't hear or feel anybody. I've only been able to talk with one alter, but it sounds like he's glitched?? Not how he usually sounds at least.

I currently only have communication with a new alter that split after this happened. Is this normal?? Or should I be worried :(

Hi anon! This is not a unique phenomenon, don’t panic- it’s known as system shutdown/system freeze (not entirely sure which it falls under) but some systems do experience it periodically. New splits might also aggravate dissociation and result in a breakdown in communication. This can be due to stress or being triggered, so look after yourself.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

sorry, but i am a singlet

my system friend was feeling really shitty yesterday and i asked the person in front if they wanted to switch out—they said yes but that they didnt know how.

i offered to use positive triggers to try and coax someone else to the front, and they told me to do it—i know i shouldn’t have

in any case, it worked, i applogised to the new fronter, and have apologised again to the whole system today—i shouldn’t have done that without permission from the alter in question

i just—needed to get that off my chest. i’m really scared that they won’t trust me anymore, which would be fair, and i shouldn’t make this about myself, but whenever i think about it i want to throw up

how do i make it up to them? is there anything i can do?

(im always scared that these asks won’t be set as an anon, so if it does have my user, please don’t include that when you answer—if you do answer)

It's okay, anon. It sounds like you're a great friend. If your friend gave you permission but the alter in question didn't, that's a communication failure on their side, not yours. If you've talked to the alter you offended and you've apologised, which you have, don't sweat it too much. You've tried your best and made an honest mistake and that's okay! Everyone's made mistakes.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Hey I have a question. It’s okay if an alter is brought up without trauma? I mean, imagine watching a show and then end up having a new headmate is that real or... idk I'm just too confuse, rn I have a UDD because my therapist barely said anything to me but I have a lot of face claims when I look on pinterest and I feel like faking u_u

Some systems have multiple origins- we have DID but experience members not from trauma as well. It is fine. It is okay, you are okay. If you didn't wake up this morning and decide to fake, you aren't faking. As for the face claims thing- just feeling kinship to a picture won’t necessarily mean you have an alter of them. Don’t stress yourself trying to "find" people, they will appear at their own rate.

- Damien

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Is there a safe way to access another alters memories? Or to share them without communicating? Our host is wondering about something that happened when we were a child and some of us think that the alter fronting at that time was the little of the system. Because of that neither of us feels comfortable to actually ask about that topic, but it's still really important for us to know what exactly happened.

Hi! We do this via visualisation, seeing each other’s memories as tapes in a filing cabinet, but it’s also a requirement to have consent from all parties. I would not reccomend trying to uncover or process trauma, or do memory work, but there are resources out there on it. Sometimes memories can be lost but feelings remain, and whilst it’s often annoying to have an unknown, it’s worth remembering that there’s a reason why these memories are hidden. Be safe.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

hey we were wondering if you could help us figure out what kind of system we are? So we thought we were monoconscious because switching is more like becoming, except that those who aren't the main one fronting seem to still have independent thoughts and stuff like that (at least sometimes, but when we do games that are meant to specifically have headmates have different thoughts it doesn't work for some reason?). Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Hi there, anon, this sounds like us! We are semi monoconscious- think of it like a computer processor bring able to switch processing threads so fast they seem at the same time, but in reality they aren't. "Becoming" switches are pretty common as well. You may want to look at using semi mono/duo conscious, if you feel you don't fit "neatly"

- Damien

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Is it possible to communicate with a dormant alter if you are outside of their system? If so, how?

Hi there- this is something you need to negotiate with the system who houses a dormant alter. Chances are that the dormant alter gets at least some of what's going on at the front sometimes, but honestly it varies. Ask the system with the dormant alter and try to work something out with them and their cpnsent.