hi i lost a really close friend of mine yesterday due to the fact im transgender. i was out as transgender to her but she still decided to say transphobic stuff to me like example: "trans people are weird" "if you are a girl then you are a girl how tf can you become transgender" ; i tried explaining her but she just wouldn't understand so i decided to ignore her for a while but ofc she started to notice that. so then she tried to "resolve" this problem with me, but she was just guilt tripping me by saying stuff like "you are just sensitive i didnt say anything transphobic" "i have always been by your side how dare you start to behave like this with me because i said trans concept is weird" like bro.. I AM TRANS im obviously going to defend my identity and people who are like me, we still continued fighting and during that entire fight i was just asking her to apologise and accept her mistake but she refused to do that. in the end we decided to just end our friendship or more like, she wanted to end the friendship cuz i all i wanted was just an apology and understanding from her side. it felt really terrible to lose a friend, even though ik she said transphobic stuff to me.. idk it still feels sad. and my point is basically that, have you ever lost a friend because of the fact you are queer, and if yes how did you cope up with it?
This hits hard cause I'm also a trans guy and a similar thing happened to me. I was kicked out of my friend group. I was a little messed up for a while and didn't do much of anything besides school. Eventually I did find another friend group when I changed schools last year for eleventh. (If anyone remembers the gay club i talked about) So as for how I copied with it, I threw myself at academics and eventually found friends. It wasn't exactly healthy but it worked for me. I just want you to know that it may not seem like it now, but one day when you're surrounded with people who truly value and appreciate you for who you are, almost everyday will be a happy day.
But for now it's ok to grieve the friendship. Allow yourself to grieve it because it was an important relationship to you. Make sure you validate those feeling and not shut them down like I did. Also eat your favourite ice cream at those times. This doesn't have anything to do with coping advice. I just like ice cream :)
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